Shadow Work in Relationships

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 19 Jan 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

witchywoman	19 Jan 2002
Hi all. After going through a particularly difficult time in my relationship, I have come to the conclusion that the problem lies with the lack of 'shadow' in the relationship. My partner is so nice and good and helpful and supportive, that I've been slowly going crazy. This is of course, no fault of his, but just a lack of awareness on both our parts of the detrimental effect of keeping the shadow hidden in a relationship. We have made a committment to work on these issues. What I'm hoping for is anyone else who has had a similar problem and any ideas or practical suggestions for working through these issues. I know there are books around on shadow work and I don't have any of these as yet. The only book I have is called 'Owning your own shadow' by Robert Johnson which is excellent. Any suggestions or ideas would be appreciated. Many thanks ww

jade	19 Jan 2002
perhaps doing a reading a week on what is hidden and needs to come to light. each of you have a deck and pull an equal amount of cards. 1st card = strength 2nd card = emotional 3rd card = mental 4th card = spiritual 5th card = physical remember you want what needs to come to light in each card. just a thought. jade

cayacia	19 Jan 2002
Ok. silly coincidence, but Robert Johnson was a blues musician? Different guy, right? Anyway, I don't know much about what you should do, but I think it's a good start that you both are working through it together. That's a great first step. It's awfully hard to work through problems when you're solving them separately. I should know (grrrrrrrr) lots of love,

Marion	20 Jan 2002
Try "Your Golden Shadow" by William Miller, or anything by Harry Wilmer, esp. "Practical Jung".

amyel	20 Jan 2002
I don't know anything at all about "shadows" and what they mean or do. What is this about, in a nutshell (if possible)?

Marion	21 Jan 2002
Well, this is really briefly stated. Your shadow represents the parts of you that you don't see, much less own. Generally other people are aware of them though! The most frequent way to deal with them is by projecting those qualities onto other people. In other words, you 'see' what are really your own traits in others... and... react very strongly. Over-react, with way too much emotion. As in, "When he does that it drives me NUTS!" Meanwhile everyone else says, "So, what's so bad about that?" It is mainly a Jungian concept, though widely used now. Try any simple book about Jung's thinking. Also, there is a lot of amplification and clarification besides that 'nutshell' you asked for.

amyel	22 Jan 2002
Quote: Marion (22 Jan, 2002 08:00): Well, this is really briefly stated. Your shadow represents the parts of you that you don't see, much less own. Generally other people are aware of them though! The most frequent way to deal with them is by projecting those qualities onto other people. In other words, you 'see' what are really your own traits in others... and... react very strongly. Over-react, with way too much emotion. As in, "When he does that it drives me NUTS!" Meanwhile everyone else says, "So, what's so bad about that?" Thanks Marion. It sounds like Psych 101: "Projecting ourselves onto to others" with a little bit of "auras" mixed in.

jade	23 Jan 2002
or 'mirroring' in light, jade

truthsayer	24 Jan 2002
to make this even more tarot related try christine jette's book, "tarot shadow work: using the dark symbols to heal." she also did "tarot for the healing heart". another good book is "the dark side of the light chasers" by debbie ford. she has a new release out that is a continuation of "dark side". i think any of these would be good for relationship work.

melikka	31 Jan 2002
hello ww I know of a book which I have read myself and may be of some assistence, it is called the dark side of light chasers and written by cherrell richardson. very easy to read and understand. if you believe in the light it is because of the darkness because without it it doesn't exist (duality). good luck and blessed be.

The Shadow Work in Relationships thread was originally posted on 19 Jan 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.