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Dogs' letters to God

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 25 Feb 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.



Talisman  25 Feb 2002 
'Lo all,

Known I don't belong down here below the line.

But Kiama's article on "pagan chickens" gave me the best laugh I've had in a long, long time.

So, here's this. (Think this comes under the category of spiritual.) Can't claim any credit for it, don't know who intercepted these letters. My ex-wife, also a dog person, sent it to me.

Dear God: How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or do we have to go "outside"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God: If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to sit and shake hands to get in?

Dear God: We dogs understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? . . . I (and many others like me) have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Rotweiller across the street!

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets thing, again?

Dear God: May I have my testicles back?

Talisman 


AquarianGoddess  25 Feb 2002 
Tailsman, that's really cool! 8) 8) 


Kiama  26 Feb 2002 
ROFLMAO!!!! :-D :-D :-D

I see you've finally decided to poke your head below the line? Well, stay for a while! Please.... ;p

Kiama 


Major Tom  26 Feb 2002 
:D :D :D

Talisman - you are a treasure. Good to see you below the line. :-p

Being somewhat dyslexic I naturally read the subject as Gods' letters to Dog...

:D :D :D 


Malachite  26 Feb 2002 
:-)



ok...i know I just wasted a post, but I have to laugh...

malachite 


catlin  27 Feb 2002 
Hi Talisman,

You made my day! Is there s.th. similar available for cat lovers? 


Talisman  27 Feb 2002 
catlin,

I suspect that you could create a collection of cat's letters to god for us, if --

BIG if here!

If you could get your cat to collaborate with you. In my experience, cats are mysterious creatures who have their own agenda.

Based upon my very very (as in extremely) limited understanding of the feline tribe -- and I've studied them for years -- about all my imagination can come up with is a letter that begins:

Dear God,
As one superior entity to another . . .

I think the cats I've known would be less inclined to ask questions than to offer suggestions.

I hope you decide to do this, 'cause I'm as curious, ah, well, ah, as curious as a cat to see what you come up with.

Talisman 


Diana  27 Feb 2002 
Talisman, this is not only very funny, but actually very moving too. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. 


catlin  28 Feb 2002 
Hi,

Ok, I'll try to get an interview from my 4 feline familiares. 


Major Tom  28 Feb 2002 
I had a word with the Demon Cat (she'd finished eating and was feeling mellow) and she dictated this letter:

Dear God,

Is it true that in heaven the refridgerator door has a cat flap? That there's a soft place in the sun for napping? That there's a warm lap whenever one is wanted and a hand to scratch just the right spot?

Just curious really because as one superior being to another I know you'll have thought these important issues through...

Thanks.

The Demon Cat (aka Gizmo) 


Kiama  28 Feb 2002 
Quote:
Major Tom (01 Mar, 2002 00:06):
I had a word with the Demon Cat


YEAH!! THE DEMON CAT!!!!! ;p :-D

Kiama 


.dc  08 Mar 2002 
hehe...

cats writing... asking questions? why, that CAN'T be a cat. after all, cats don't question anything...they ARE everything. They own you. They know more than you. They don't have to ask for anything.

What they want they take.

MEOW

Joth--- a cat

 


The Dogs' letters to God thread was originally posted on 25 Feb 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.

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