celibacy

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 29 Mar 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

New River	29 Mar 2002
in reading all the posts in kiama's 'is virginity sacred' we learned a lot about how ppl feel about having sex. but what about celibacy? it was really trendy about 2 yrs. ago but now i hear practically nothing about it. i have practiced it for up to 2 yrs. at a time and found it to be a relief not to have to think about sex at all. i did not miss it. what about you all out there? love, light and hope, New River

amyel	29 Mar 2002
Before I met my hubby, I was celibate. At first, because I just wasn't connecting with anyone and didn't have an opportunity *not* to be. After awhile, I just didn't miss it and this allowed me the opportunity to become comfortable with myself and my friends and connections without having to deal with the sex stuff. I found I didn't miss it after awhile, either, but that made my intimate connection with the man I married much more so (intimate), because I chose to end my self imposed celibacy with someone I found I really cared about. It was a choice made out of love, not a "thing" I did because I could...does that make any sense???? Sometimes, it would be nice to not have to worry about it ever again, but sex *is* important in a commited relationship, as I have been reminded of recently.

Kiama	29 Mar 2002
I could probably remain celibate if I wasn't in a relationship because I really don't see the use of going out to a club or 'out on the pull' with the intention of having a one night stand just for the sex. I would prefer to wait for a relationshp. I don't think I could stay celibate if I was in a relationship though! (Had to do it for a week whilst I was away from boyf... VERY difficult. Got home, could've ravaged him! He didn't know quite what had hit him, but wasn't too upset.. ;) ) So, there you go. Yes if no relationship, BIG NO if in a relationship. Kiama

aciddragon	29 Mar 2002
My two cents on this is I think it's easier for a female to go without sex then a male. But what the heck do I know. :) I don't believe in having sex with just anyone so yep it's been awhile. Hmm actually can't remember how long it's been...kind of sad. Oh well such is life.

nexyjo	29 Mar 2002
Quote: I think it's easier for a female to go without sex then a male. sheesh, men... i was celebate for almost 30 years. i hated it. trendy? sheesh. i never felt i was being trendy, just lonely. never again, as long as i can help it.

aciddragon	29 Mar 2002
We each have our own feeling on things. If you hate then so be it, but I don't feel it's right for me. That's what makes each of us different. We each have our own set of standards that we live by...And grouping men in to one is stereotyping. I'm not a typical male, so please don't group me there. Thanks.

kayne	30 Mar 2002
Quote: Originally posted by nexyjo sheesh, men... I'm with you AcidDragon. I don't know if some people realise how patronising and offensive that can be... As far as Celebacy goes... I could not imagine going out of my way not to have sex. Why punnish yourself like that? Sex in a relationship is always better than sex outside one though...

VGimlet	30 Mar 2002
Even if I was not in a relationship, celibacy would not be for me. I can see the reasons for it, and the appeal, but....no. ;) I like the earthy, sensual part of my nature, and for me, celibacy would be denying that natural part of life.

nexyjo	30 Mar 2002
i see i was misunderstood, as i didn't make my "sheesh, men" comment a clear example of what not to do. i was responding to aciddragon's comment, which i felt was stereotyping, with a stereotyping comment of my own. i'll try to be a little more clear in terms of my meanings in the future. sarcasm doesn't always translate to the written word very well, so i will endeavor to avoid using it. i apologize for the misunderstanding. luv and light, nexy

kayne	30 Mar 2002
I understand now Nexyjo :p (I think I woke up on the overly sensitive side of the bed when I posted that this morning... even though it was afternoon when I woke up...)

jade	30 Mar 2002
:D i understood you nexy! :D and since you been on both sides of the bed (so to say) i figured that you would know :) i was celebate by choice AND circumstance for 5 years while i worked on myself and my spiritual development. i'm so glad that i did. in light, jade ps for me sex is a spiritual, emotional, physical union and event.......so not to be shared with just anyone.

blue	31 Mar 2002
Being celibate is most rewarding when you actually have other options.

New River	31 Mar 2002
i have never seen celibacy as the act of denying myself something i really want. it's not a vow i took or anything when i practiced it. it was simply a choice that was right for me at that time. at a point on my spiritual journey i went thru a phase i would enliken to the Fool card. a happy androgeny. i have been married for 22 yrs now and we have a delightful relationship. my mate was very loving and understanding of this need of mine to explore this state of being. i found other aspects being heightened such as my creativity and new ideas. this made sense to me as sexual energy is the same energy used in creativity. plus, like blue said, it is always better when you have a choice. love, light and hope, New River

All Is One	02 Apr 2002
Some of us need to take a sexual/ spiritual "time-out" and after a year and a half , my marriage fell in smouldering ruins at my feet and I felt unable to trust any man, or trust myself, enough to be vulnerable-and when that is the case, time away from the fray is the only option for me. I spent over two years being celibate, and I had platonic male friends who were pushing (gently) for a deeper bond, but I couldn't imagine why I'd want to let anyone that close to me as I was in the process of re-building from the roots on up. After 2+ years of learning how to love living alone w/just my cat and my 12 birds, I had a realtionship that was much better than any I'd had before- that lasted over three yrs and after a partially celibate year (let's skip the definition of that, shall we? I'm sure you can imagine) I was ready for a real risk again. My point is that for me each period of "time-out" has renewed my sense of my self as a person, and released me from the idea that who ever it was I had parted from had taken a huge chunk of ME with them. I'm in love now (about 5 months) with a man I've known for eight years, and I think this is IT. But w/out those interludes of conciously choosen celibacy, I'd be quite a different person. (For the "no way" folks - I can totally ubderstand your point too!!)

funkpuss	02 Apr 2002
Hi Having jsut split up with my ex-boyfriend and on prozac, I couldn't care if I don't make love ever again ha ha ha.... No but honestly I had a couple of years in celibacy and it was quite good for me as I got used to my own company and got to know ME!! But I must admitt towards the end of it I was climing the walls. But in gereral I think it's good to have a break every now and then. FP

The celibacy thread was originally posted on 29 Mar 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.