Seeing a Dead Relative

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 21 Oct 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

ChrisTheObscure	21 Oct 2002
I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this or not...if not, I'm sorry, feel free to move it :) I had to travel to Arizona a couple of months ago for my cousin Jodi's funeral. She was only 37 and a really loving, wonderful person. Cause of death is still unknown; she had had some chronic health problems, but none life-threatening. We're still waiting for the Toxicology reports but there's a concern she took her own life. Her daughter had recently lost a baby and this totally devastated Jodi; also she'd been in a lot of pain, and well over 50 pain pills were missing from her medicine cabinet. Here's the thing - the day of the funeral, I went into the bathroom in my motel room and she was there - it wasn't a sense or a dream, I physically saw her. Even with the light on, the room seemed dark and she was standing in the bathtub. Her clothes seemed tattered, she looked, well, dead, and she was ironing clothes - wierd I know - and mumbling something. She seemed angry - not at me, just in general. I left the bathroom in a hurry and when I returned, gone. I've been thinking on this for a few months and I just can't get it out of my head. Anyone else have any similar experiences? Was she trying to tell me something, should I try to contact her again? I'd appreciate any insight at all as I'm troubled a lot by this. Last night I woke up and the experience came back to me and it's stayed with me since. C.

truthsayer	21 Oct 2002
i've had something like this happen to me after the death of an uncle. it was the night before the funeral. my uncle had been an invalid unable to talk for at least a year. my aunt cared for him as long as she could then put him into a nursing facility. i had a very vivid dream in which he gave me a message to give my aunt. i woke then and suddenly realized there was pressure on the side of my bed like someone was sitting beside me but no one was there! there have been few times in my life i have run so fast!! after the funeral, i told my aunt the dream. she confirmed there was personal significance for her in the dream with my uncle. that's just one of several experiences i've had so you aren't alone nor are you crazy. perhaps writing a question down before bed to your cousin will get you some answers. don't expect results overnight. it may take awhile. you can write the question then just free associate for a while. this is called automatic writing. sometimes a spirit could answer the question. my youngest sister is really good at this. another thing to try is to ask your tarot cards.

ChrisTheObscure	21 Oct 2002
Good idea truthsayer...the automatic writing thing. I just might try that, it's probably better and safer than using a ritual for calling forth the dead. C.

Bings	21 Oct 2002
Earlier this year I was standing in my kitchen and suddenly thought of a friend. As I thought of him I heard this message, "Don't worry, I'm OK." I thought of him off and on over the next few days and then found out he had died approximately the same time I heard his message. Your cousin may have a message for you. Try to relax and the message may eventually come to you. This would be a good time to put a notepad and pen next to your bedside. Some relaxation and meditation exercises before sleep may help. Dianne

Red Emma	21 Oct 2002
When I was 10, a very long time ago, I was sitting in my fourth grade class finishing a math test, just before our morning recess. I heard my grandfather call me. I looked up to see him standing in the doorway. Just as I started to go to him, the recess bell rang and he disappeared. When I went home for lunch I told my mother about it. That afternoon they received a telegram that he had died at 10:00 that morning. (It was in the mid-thirties and few homes had phones.) My Grandad was my special friend, and I had lived with him and my Grandmother from the time I was five until I was nine. I think I was special to him, too, and he wanted to say goodbye. It wasn't scary at all. I only wished it had happened when I was alone so I could have tried to talk to him. I loved him dearly. Red Emma

Kismet	22 Oct 2002
Chris, I'd first like to say I'm sorry for your loss and hope in time your family will be ok. In regard to what you asked, I've never visually seen my loved ones, but have had many visits from my boyfriend, either in dreams, voice, or little things like knocks at the front door, a fan coming on by itself that he didn't like. I had an experience such as truthsayer as well with feeling pressure on the foot of my bed. I moved my foot thinking it my cat, but no one visually was there. I have a half sister though that had her Dad die when she was 3. She'd never met him due to his being in the Army and stationed in Germany at the time. When he passed, my sister's grandfather was shaving that morning, and behind him in the mirror was Russell. The grandfather was, needless to say in shock, but Russell told him he was fine and that he'd left something for them. He had no idea what this was until he was informed a bit later with a military car pulling up to his door. He hadn't told his family of my sister, but when his things came back, they found out what he meant by he'd left something behind, their grand daughter. Do not let anyone tell you you are crazy or it is weird. You are actually blessed that she choose to visit you. :) I'm reading "Hello From Heaven", it is a book of people's experiences that have had ADCs, after death communications. This may help you in better understanding and also show you, you aren't alone. I hope this helps. Love, Light, and Blessings, Kismet

zorya	22 Oct 2002
i moved this thread because if felt it would be better suited in spirituality.

ChrisTheObscure	23 Oct 2002
Thanks for all the advice and for sharing your experiences guys. The problem is, I don't feel blessed at all; I feel very uneasy. When I saw her, she looked angry. I've never feared the supernatural, but I was very fearful after seeing her. I've tried asking her a question the past few nights, to no avail; but several times I've woke up in the middle of the night and just felt a very negative vibe, and felt like she was there. I can't understand it - I want to know why she's upset or displeased, because it's so unlike the person I knew when she was alive. C.

fairyhedgehog	23 Oct 2002
Hi there Chris, This sounds scary and I feel for you. I've been looking round the internet and I found that some people believe that the spirits of the recent dead tend to remain on earth if their death was traumatic or if they have unfinished business. Whatever the cause of your cousin's death (deliberate or accidental overdose) it seems fair to say that she had recently had some traumatic issues to deal with (loss of a potential grandchild, and physical pain.) Maybe her death was a shock to her. Whatever the reason, people tend to react to traumatic events with anger. Supposing the anger was not directed at you, it was just how she felt anyway, and she wanted you to help her? I've found one possible suggestion about how you might do that by Rev. Samuel A. Trumbore. Basically, it involves visualising an embodiment of "the truth as you see it" (maybe the Buddha, Jesus or some other figure or a golden light). Then you ask that figure to help you and your cousin and you visualise rays of light from this figure making contact with you and your cousin and bringing peace. If this is out of line, or doesn't help, please ignore it.

Arialinna	23 Oct 2002
Chris, hi. I understand how you feel. I have had many experinces like yours, but not all have been people I know! that is when it gets a little scary!!! My mom had a child before me but it died. now he sort of act as a guardian for me. My friends have seen him, and I can always feel him near me! it is kind of cool cause now I can know the brother I never got to meet before he died!

ChrisTheObscure	25 Oct 2002
My aunt Virginia, the mother of my cousin who died, came up to MN to visit for a while last night. We were talking and she's seen Jodi too, in a similar manner to how I did - so at least I know someone else close to her is being contacted. It makes it much less scary :) C.

Kismet	26 Oct 2002
Chris, I'm glad to hear you aren't alone in your visits. Do let me know if you feel the need to talk and take care. Love, Light, and Blessings, Kismet

ssplam	26 Oct 2002
Chris I've had quite a strange day. I read the thread this morning and decided I would offer my humble opinion. As I was thinking about it I got the feeling that I should continue...that I was supposed to. (I kind of think it was my guides telling me I should continue). Then as I started writing and my thoughts got a little long, that feeling went away... I kept writing anyway then when I went to post... the site went down. Well I'm going to try again, and try not to get too carried away with my typing. :) You and your aunt have both seen this cousin. I feel as though you are both very important to her and this is why she's come to the two of you. If she is coming to you unhappy, then this is likely her state and the thought that my guides incouraged me to share is this... talk to her (don't ask questions or for her to show herself again just yet). Just let her know that you're listening and that you want to help her with whatever it is she needs you to do. Tell her to come to you again when she is ready and that you will be waiting. Let her know that it is safe to do so as well. If you are frightened by the negativity around her, you can ask for the protection of your spirits... Ask them to watch out for you and protect you from harm. When she comes to you again, if that negative feeling is there, remember that you have the protection of your angels and spirits and that you are safe. I feel that she has a message for you that she was maybe a little too anxious to share and simply needs a little bit more time. Your aunt should do these same things... All in all, I would worry and I wouldn't rush it... Give it time, project your love and hopefully soon you will find understanding in it too. I wish you and your family well... ~Christina

DeLani	07 Nov 2002
I'm sorry about Jodi, and especially to hear that she is unhappy. I can't really give you any advice, since I've never been visited by any relatives. This might sound stupid, but the only departed ones who visit me are my cats. But I guess I'm just closer to them.

Emily	09 Nov 2002
I usually only see dead neighbours, in the few days after their death, I did see my Dad's uncle about a week after his death, I didn't know he was supposed to be dead and I told my Mom I'd seen him but not to talk too, she told me it couldn't have been him, I said I must have made a mistake but I didn't it was him. I've lost count of the number of neighbours I've seen after they should be gone. I think its just the first days or maybe even weeks after their death and they get reluctant to move on, but eventually they do. I'm sure your cousin doesn't know how uneasy she's making you feel, but it does seem like she has her reasons for not moving on - Have you tried lighting a candle for her, might help, just a normal candle, put it by a picture of her, a happy picture :) Did she know you use tarot cards? Could be she tried to get through to you first because, being a card reader you'll have an open mind - you probably won't see her again but it would be nice if she were happier next time - the you wouldn't worry about her. If you do see her again try asking her how you can help.

allibee	11 Nov 2002
Dear Chris, I practically live on a particular spiritual forum and in their chatrooms there is at least five or six people a day - from all walks of life and all parts of the world - who have had exactly the same experiences as you. So, first things first, you are definately not alone in this. Secondly, the advice from this is something of the same you may have heard here already, but I'll pass it on anyway. Many spirits who pass on before what WE and they feel is their natural time and therefore are unexpectedly jerked from their earthly exsistance, just don't realise they're dead. Especially when their mind is full of earthly worrying, they carry on as if nothing has changed, caught up in their own world, as it were. Does this make sense to you? Many people, especially women, use ironing as a subconcious meditative exercise as well as doing a job, and this shows you that she is thinking and trying to make sense of what is happening in maybe the only way she knows how. This is especially the case as you feel that she is mumbling to herself. The negative energy you are feeling is mostly from her, as she is worried and confused, but also a tad of your own negative energy in the sense that her presence and appearance worries you. So, what can you do? Do you want to become involved and help her move on, or do you wish her to move on without you? Neither choice is good or bad, it is just whether the experience will challenge you and help you grow. In the first instance, you can relax (the word meditate is unneccessarily overused IMHO), and if and when she comes to you again, surround her with your warmth and love, and visualise in her a white light that gradually grows and grows in radiance until she is consumed by it, and that, with your warmth and love, you ask your guides and guardians to help her to move on. In the second instance, you can relax and ask your guides and guardians to bless her and you, and to help her, because you are not ready to see her in that condition again. There are further measures you can take if this has really bothered you. But spirit only gives us what we can handle. I hope this has been of some help. Best wishes allibee P.S. Spirit is only ever a thought away :)

The Seeing a Dead Relative thread was originally posted on 21 Oct 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.