Today i went to "church"

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 26 Oct 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

HIDEABED2001	26 Oct 2002
Took a walk today and was inspired to write, thought I would share it on this fourm..in hopes it inspries u too.:) Today I went to church, today I went to school, today I went to Mother Earth. As I walk along an old road I walk with three. I feel my grandma on my left; she gives me comfort and a safe feeling. On my right I feel a hand on my shoulder pushing me forward. I am not sure who it is, feels like a younger male, and he walks 2 steps behind me. Above I sense my Guardian. He gives me insight, clears my thoughts and connects me. I stop on a stump to write this, but I am drawn to go further down the path, towards the north I believe. I didn’t take the common trial; I feel they have been disturbed with other people’s energies. This road at the beginning looks as if they had started construction and improvements on it. Their dump trucks sit with rock, and culvert pipes lay along side it. But where I am sitting now is the end of the construction and the road narrows, is grown up and covered with leaves. Certain it has been awhile since anyone had tread this far. She calls me, my Mother Earth; she beckons me to come into her heart. She sings in the songs of the brids, and that comforts me. She gives off scents of pungent orders, and that sooths me. I want to run to get to where she wants me to go, but know if I do I will miss things I need to know along the way. I have the urge to hum, or vocalize the “OM” sound, to feel the vibrations of it. My grandma used to hum church songs all the time, and this made me feel at peace. If i could hear her beside me, is she humming? This is my church, this is God’s house I am in. I come to a hill side, looking down I see a valley filled with trees, and rocks sticking up from the earth. I stand and close my eyes; I imagine I am a tree. My roots growing from the bottom of my souls into the earth, and down to the center of it. I hold my head high towards the sky; imagine my branches reaching up towards the heavens. I am a conduit between heaven and earth. I feel love, I feel power and I feel knowledge. I feel faint and light, like I could float away. My intentions were to come here, find a place to sit and study my gemstones. I have them with me, in a bag wrapped around my wrist. I have a book to tell me what they are and a chart to tell me what powers they hold. I now know that is not what I am meant to do here, that is not my lesson for today. I even brought with me a stick of sandalwood incense to burn, but don’t need it, Mother Earth has her own in incense As I sat on a rock, further up the trail, I look in front on me and see a turkey feather. Just minutes before I sat down I said in my head “Mother Divine, Divine Mother. Show me a sign, to which I am in the right place at the right time. Mother Divine, Divine Mother”. I am so emotional over my surroundings that I want to cry with joy. I want to leave my fears, pain, and anger here. I know she will heal me and she will make it right. She will balance my soul. As I get up I go towards the feather, to pick it up. It is perfect. It has beads of raindrops on it, but it is protected from becoming wet. I too feel protected here, and the need to let the “bad” just bounce off me. I want to leave the feather here where it lies, but something tells me to take it with me. I almost take it with out asking her permission to keep it. So I stop and ask Mother Earth if I may keep the feather. I hear a bird calling it the trees. I take it as a yes. He almost seems as if the is laughing. I feel I will not find the end of this road. I wasn’t meant to find it, just as I am not meant to find all the answers I seek. I cannot rush my destiny. I wonder who build this road, was it here before the park. Did the person who made it hear a calling from it too? I will never know. I do know I should stop and turn around. I don’t know what time it is, and I have to walk back the way I came. It is cold and getting dimmer. But the person on my left is trying to push me further. Just a bit more he seems to say, just one more curve, just one more valley. I respect him for his enthusiasm, but know he like me can push too far too fast. Do I listen to him? Yes, I do. I go further and it seems colder as I walk. I am more aware of my surroundings. The sent seems to be more pungent. I feel a rush of anxiety and excitement, what will I find if I push ahead? What will I discover; is it my own fear? I go around a curve that takes me to the top of a hill; I am looking around trying to see what it is I came this far to learn. At the top I look towards the left, the path I just came up. At the right, the path contunies on. The winds seem to pick up, more towards the right; the leaves rustle as the wind comes up hill towards me. Is it a warning I should stop, and not go further? I take it as that. I notice the rock formation in front or me, 3 separate stones, 2 side by side of each other and a third on top of the second one. Then a tree right behind the first stone. It all seems to connect, as like all things in life are connected. Connected to God. So I turn and make my journey back home. I am proud that I had the power to turn back, and not give in to temptations of going forward more. I am thankful that I came here. As I walk back I don’t look back, I sense that something still wants me to come back. I foucus on the path ahead the way I have come. Trying to see what I missed on the way here. I see a beer can laying off to the right, in the leaves. Why is it out here? A sign to me? It starts to sprinkle as I walk. I don’t think I will get to stop and mediate, maybe the timing is wrong. I just want to go home, where it is warm and safe. Not that I don’t feel safe here, but I sense bad in the backdrops, and know it will come with the night. I stop yet again on the way back. Here I am with pen in my hand, what words of wisdom do I write to help me understand. I am so overwhelmed now, that nothing comes to me. I sit and look around. I wonder if I could communicate with the trees, what would they say. What tone do they have? And can evil be in them too? On my way back, I am reminded of the last time I mediated. When Michael walked me though the forest, not to unlike this one. Took me to a bridge and up a mountain to a house. It is on the way back on that path that I felt unsafe. In my mediation, on the path towards the end of it, I come to a side road that goes off to the right. As I looked down that road, I see a guy in black leaning against a tree. He has an evil grin, and luring eyes. He is at a turn in the path, and I can sense his intentions are not good. I sense he is evil. I know he is my fear and my temptation. This scares me now, on my way back, it is so familiar. I wonder if I will come to that cross road, and will I see him? So to block my mind and my thoughts, I began to vocalize the “OM” sound. Then I began to add words and meanings to the end of that sound. Like “OM” protect me, “OM” guide me, “OM” humble me, “OM” help me, “OM” comfort me, “OM” comfort me, “OM” teach me, and “OM” bless me. I ask God to humble me. I need this to make me see what I have, not in materialist value, but in my heart and soul. I feel I must cleanse this part of my life, especially if I want to rid it of negativity. My thoughts were of this, that I barley noticed that there was a road that connected and ran up to the right of me. I didn’t see any evil person up there, was he not really there or was I protected by God not to see him. When my thoughts turn to go on that path, I get a tingling sensation. I chose to continue going further, backing out of my journey here. Today I went to church, today I went to school, today I went to my teacher.

Moonklad	27 Oct 2002
I really enjoyed reading about your experiences on your path. I think in one way or another, we are all on a path of learning whether we realize it or not. I love times like those that you related when you truly feeling like "something" is happening, like you are really connected and for once, things make sense. Thanks for sharing your story, blessings, Moonklad

Kiama	29 Oct 2002
Wow, Hideabed2001, you are not only a really good writer, but you make alot of sense. I always find that there are so many places in Nature htat I learn from, and often the lessons I learn there are just as important as the ones I learned in school... Kiama

stormsis	29 Oct 2002
That was one of the best reading's I had read in a long time. Your words were so powerful with meaning behind them. I think you should look into publishing it. Let everyone "not just the peeps here" but everyone read it. It was truly real, and im sure there are alot of peeps in this world that need to read a piece like that one. God Bless

The Today i went to "church" thread was originally posted on 26 Oct 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.