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Need a spell for a MEAN boss! Help, please!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 11 Dec 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

jlbvt  11 Dec 2002 
My boss is a horrible mean old lady. Every day, she finds something to pick on everyone for. She sees no reason to tell us when meetings are, even that day. She even yalled at me in front of a lot of people when I asked her if she would let me know when meetings would take place. I am starting to think she is crazy. She accuses me of doing things that I didn't do. I could go on forever about how rude she is on a daily basis, she NEVER has a "good" day where she is nice to people.

I need a spell or something to make her nicer! How can I dissapate some of her negativity? I should tell you that her meanness does not hurt my feelings or make me feel the way I think she means to make me feel because I am able to just let it "roll off". I would just quit, but I am waiting for a home loan to go through. I think I can quit mid-January. Help please! 

The Enchanter  11 Dec 2002 
Do you have tarot cards? If you do I might have a spell for you. I'll look it up later. 

jlbvt  11 Dec 2002 
Yes, I have Tarot cards. Any help would be really appreciated! 

SlyR  12 Dec 2002 
As any self-respecting spellcaster would, you would be advised to perform a Tarot reading first to determine whether casting such a spell is wise in the first place.

Remember that you're responding to meanness with meanness. If that's how you want to treat others - with a "fight fire with fire" attitude, then that's your prerogative; remember, however, the laws of Karma and the Witches' "Threefold" law, not to mention Christ's Golden Rule.

What you're asking is how to "bind" another's will. Others may disagree, but I don't think such uses of magic are ethical. A more effective spell might be one which instills in you enough patience to last at your job peacefully until your home loan goes through. Even if a binding on your boss works, it's an act of forcing her to do something against her will and without her permission. Here's another suggestion, one which doesn't even require the use of spellcraft (and a magician tends to choose the wisest and most practical way, whether it involves occult force or not): Answer her negativity with absolute, pure, unquestioning, unconditional, inexplicable love. It wears off on another's bad personality much better than a chant and a burning candle, or whatever. 

wavebreaker  12 Dec 2002 
I would also advise you to perform a reading first to ask whether it's appropriate to cast a spell. Personally, I think spells shouldn't be used lightly, but then that's my personal opinion. ;)

Alternatively, instead of casting a spell, you could do a reading to ask advice on how to handle this problem and how to approach your boss.

Good luck! 

Diana  12 Dec 2002 
Where do you people see that jlbvt wanted to be mean? I saw the words "dissipate negativity", "make her nicer". These are not negative mean thoughts, are they?

I'm not going to give any advice about spells, 'cos I know nothing about them, but there's no desire for vengeance here. 

wavebreaker  12 Dec 2002 
Originally posted by Diana
Where do you people see that jlbvt wanted to be mean? I saw the words "dissipate negativity", "make her nicer". These are not negative mean thoughts, are they?
You are right, they are not negative thoughts. My point is that I don't believe in using spells to change other people, even though it's meant to change them for the better, because that would go against their free will. I believe in solving a situation by starting with yourself, by approaching the situation in a different way than you have before. That way, your changed behaviour may change the other person as well, and in a way where both of you will learn from it.

But again: that's my personal opinion... ;) 

Diana  12 Dec 2002 
tarotlady: that's what I believe too! ;) 

jlbvt  12 Dec 2002 
Originally posted by SlyR

Remember that you're responding to meanness with meanness.

Answer her negativity with absolute, pure, unquestioning, unconditional, inexplicable love. It wears off on another's bad personality much better than a chant and a burning candle, or whatever.

I don't think I have to do anything mean back to her, something positive is what I am looking for. Maybe even something to make her happier, and by default nicer too.

I already am not mean or rude back to her. That's the way I always try to be. But I find that if someone is trying to make others unhappy, they just get angered when it has no effect. I think that is what is happening here. I have another co-worker who sometimes is visably disturbed by the boss' behavior, and the boss seems to let up *just a little* when that happens. 

allibee  12 Dec 2002 
Doesn't your boss have a boss too?
If so it should only take you and your co workers a friendly chat to resolve if go to see them and you start it along the lines of:

" We are very worried about our boss because ........ "

Communication is the strongest tool in anybodies toolbox.


jlbvt  12 Dec 2002 
Her boss is in another office, in another part of the state. I am not even sure who she is, and believe me, MY boss is not dropping any hints! I am in a really tough situation. My boss can act civil to people when she doesn't spend much time with them. I don't know who may be a "croney" of hers, but she has been in charge in my location for 3 years I think. I have only been working there for 6 months. The pay is better then most other jobs I could get in the area, which is why I took the job even after I met the boss-lady (I could tell even then that she had an abrasive personality. I just didn't know how bad.) 

jlbvt  12 Dec 2002 
Originally posted by SlyR

What you're asking is how to "bind" another's will. Others may disagree, but I don't think such uses of magic are ethical.
OK, you seem to be a Crowly buff- I read in one of his novels that he tried to get his enemies to consume salt or salty food to limit their power against him. I would love it if you would tell me what you know about that. Maybe it would help, whether my boss is into magic or not. I'm certainly willing to try it. 

HudsonGray  12 Dec 2002 
I think it's best to work on yourself instead of the boss--there could be a lot of factors about the boss that you don't know. Could be the person is going through a divorce or child custody. Could be that they're being stalked, or a family member is sick with cancer, anything that would affect the person & have them dwell on something continually in their mind would show up at work. Regardless of the major life problem the person has--the point I'm trying to make is that without the full info on her life, your trying to change her can have some BAD repurcussions instead of the intended results. She seems to be trying to deal with SOMETHING, we just don't know what it is.

At the very least, the boss is going through a hard life lesson since it impinges on everyone around her. Taking the lesson away or stalling it means she's got to keep repeating it till she learns from it, so you're only prolonging the hell she's putting herself through right now.

Best to develop a shield to protect you from her energies, something to give you confidence when she looks over your shoulder. Keep removed from the stresses & definately consider the new job in January. Look at it as something to let you know how to deal with adversity. 

Damien X  12 Dec 2002 
I found this visualization spell in a old book of mine. I guess it wouldn't hurt if you just tried it, can't see anything bad comming from it. Even though I understand the points of view of those with a disliking approach to magick. Ok, anyway, here goes:

To get rid of a conflict from your everyday life, fill the bathtub with hot - as in warm and pleasant, water. Get into the tub and stay there for fifteen minutes or so, adding more temperate water if it cools down during this time. Visualize all your conflicts running out of you and into the water. Then, let the water out of the tub and imagine all your conflicts flow away with it. To make this spell more powerful, you can add three drops of rosemary-extract. Focus orderly and repeat the procedure until results are achieved.

So, that's quite simple isn't? :o) 

Laurel  12 Dec 2002 
I think HudsonGray, wise one that he is, has offered a great approach. In the mean time, hard as it can be, treat this boss with as much compassion and respect and enthusiasm as you can... people who are that -mean- are generally incredibly unhappy and in some kind of pain or psychic disorder. Pay attention to what see says and how she treats other people beyond yourself, particularly in regards to what seems to be stressing her out the most and work with your co-workers to meet this bosses' goals. Pay attention to what kind of feedback/response seems to please her the most: does she prefer people show initiative, does she want to be asked questions, is she territorial? Does she operate from emotion, from reason, from profit? Analyze her behavior and give her what she's actually asking for. Turn making her smile and relax into a game for yourself to make all this hard work sorta fun.

Most importantly, take very good care of yourself. Gets lot of sleep, take some of that extra money and treat yourself to a massage. Have fun and just do your best. Preform some kind of daily prayer or affirmation or spell to bolster your own emotional resources and mood.


The Enchanter  12 Dec 2002 
Ok, I will send you an e-mail with the spell. It will probably have a picture attached. I must copy it first so it may take one or two days.

Peace Out! 

truthsayer  12 Dec 2002 
i knew a woman that was so reknown for her meanness to others that in this little town of maybe 15,000 all you had to do was tell what happened and everyone would know who it was. she was equal opportunity mean to co-workers and customers. ppl complained to her boss but she was good at her job and he didn't try too hard to rein her in b/c he was an abrasive person, too. not many ppl knew but she had a lot of medical problems and stayed in severe back pain most of the time. she just took her anger out on everyone around her. she eventually left the job on disability.

when i have a problem with someone, i do some version of this meditation: i meet the person and her/his guides in a quiet garden. we talk about the situation. if you don't remember what was said later don't worry about it. then take the person by the hand and walk her up the steps to loving waiting hand of god. you give her to god, bless her and wish her well in her life's journey. you then imagine god taking her away to perform whatever healing needs to be done. god will take care of her. she is not your concern. you might also ask for the highest and best possible outcome for both of you in the situation.

you will probably need to do parts or all of this many times before you feel better. you may never notice a change in the other person but you are the only person you have any power to change or heal. i've noticed that when i develop a more effective coping strategy with someone then often the situation improves for the better even if i can't see any changes in the other person. i've been doing this one whenever i felt intimidated or hurt by another for over 15 years. it helps to make me feel empowered but not hurt that person in any way. i have no idea how many times i've given family over to god but it has helped! 

SlyR  12 Dec 2002 

I don't think I have to do anything mean back to her, something positive is what I am looking for. Maybe even something to make her happier, and by default nicer too.

The key words here are "...make her..." That's just what I'm refering to when I say that your intentions, however pure, are to do something unkind. Imposing on another's personality and will through means unknown to her is unkind. Straightforward confrontation would be much healthier. 

DeLani  12 Dec 2002 
I can see both sides of the "free will" debate here. On the one hand, it is a violation of the boss' free will to try and "make" her act a certain way. But just as importantly, her actions are a violation of your right to a safe (psychically as well as physically) place to work. It is never OK to verbally abuse someone.
The visualizations mentioned here already are a great step. But I do believe you should do some spellwork to dissipate the negativity. As it was said, to banish/dispell the anger/hatred, with the intention of making *everyone* - you, her, your co-workers, her ex-husband, whoever - happier and healthier.
I like to use good, old-fashioned sympathetic magic. Choose a symbol of what you want to get rid of (the negativity/anger in your workplace). It could be a thorn, salt, black stone, whatever strikes you. Name it then bury, burn, or throw it into clear running water (make sure it is biodegradable!).
Also, in one of my books (Invoke the Goddess by B. Ardinger, I think) the author had a similar problem of not being accepted b/c of her religion. She chose a symbol of her religion (a pentacle), then named a black candle "predjudice." She then burned the candle over the pentacle, symbolically "melting" their resistance.
Ask for the blessings of Kuan Yin or Mary (if you're a Goddess worshipper), or whoever you pray to, to make it so "for the good of all."
Blessings and good luck! 

Kiama  13 Dec 2002 
I agree with HudsonGray's suggestion: Maybe perform magick to protect yourself from taking in any of the negative energy the boss is sending towards you... When somebody is imploie#te to you and always shouting, you are ound to take some of that on and carry it through your day, take it ome with you... Yoyu don't want that at all, so possibly magick which will help you stay at a safe distance, mentally and spiritually, from her. Maybe some sort of magick to give you extra confidence, and extra 'I don't give a damn about what she's saying' -ness....


SlyR  14 Dec 2002 
I would just like to remark that I am ecstatic over the atmosphere of cooperation in this thread. Looks like we all CAN get along, after all, even when we debate.

"An argument is the process in which two people attempt to arrive at the same conclusion."
- I forget who said that, but I like it. Might be from Carnegie. 

jlbvt  14 Dec 2002 
Thank you all for the good ideas: I like the idea of protecting myself with a shield, (Thank you Hudson) I think I already do that because whenever I feel like she is broadcasting negativity near me, I picture a bright sphere of positive light coming out of my heart and surrounding me to ward off her vibes. Also, Hudson, I hadn't thought about her maybe learning a life lesson right now. I have to say though, I doubt she learns from anything or anyone she seems so stubborn and self centered! She is so rude to everyone, and I don't think she will ever know how mean she is. She acts like those around her are robots, not people, with no feelings or needs, and she has no respect for anyone.

I also like Truthsayer's idea of going into a meditation and meeting her with her guides and trying to resolve some things that way, but :confused: does that leave me unprotected while I am with her there, and is that considered astral projection? If she is possibly into magic, could she hurt me while I am doing it? What if her guides reject me, or do I control the whole thing?

Damien X, LOVE the bath Idea, I think that is a good start to any spellworking, before a Tarot read, every night etc...

What do you all think of DeLani's idea of sympathetic magic or some candle magic here? Will that bind me to her, or is it ok for me to do? 

Diana  14 Dec 2002 
Have you tried fixing an appointment with her privately and telling her how you feel? Of course, not to play the victim, nor to accuse her of things. But just being frank. Tell her that you like your job, and that you'd really like to get on with her, because a happy working place can be such a good thing. Talk to her like she is a human being (even if you have to really stretch your imagination a little!). You could even slip her a few compliments, like you think she's a really competent person and that you'd enjoy working with her if she could be a little more patient and understanding.

Before doing this, some visualisation work and positive spell work could help of course. To keep you calm, and grounded. 

HudsonGray  14 Dec 2002 
I think any magic you do on someone binds you to them to a certain degree, do you really want that with her?

There's also no reason why you need to ask her spirit guides about her while at work, I'd try it at home when relaxed & without any outside interferances. You can always break the connection if you feel uncomfortable, so yes you do stay in control during a meditation type investigation. Doing it astrally, that's another story & is harder to keep control on.

Her guides can reject you, but I don't see why they would if you offer no attack on her. If she's into magic, the shield should stop anything coming at you.

Yeah, some people are really stubborn about learning. They're the ones that usually end up way at the bottom before it sinks in, then they have the long climb back up. Sort of a vertical learning curve. But she's got to do it on her own. Sometimes these things take years, if not lifetimes. Depends on the lesson. You're doing one of your own right now too, you know. Handling adversity. Your learning curve is much less steep than hers is (be grateful!). So pat yourself on the back but do remember that variations on a 'lesson' often come your way to make sure you fine tune things nicely. 

jlbvt  14 Dec 2002 
Originally posted by jlbvt
I also like Truthsayer's idea of going into a meditation and meeting her with her guides and trying to resolve some things that way, but :confused: does that leave me unprotected while I am with her there?
I guess that is a little vague, I didn't mean there *at work* I meant there in the meditation or astral plane or whichever. I could never concentrate enough to do that at work! ;)

Diana, I have had brief talks with her about how I feel in the past. THe good news is that she listens well and stays calm, maybe in part because I am very gracious and I know how to criticize *very gently*, something she could stand to learn! The bad news is that it seems to be forgotten from her mind within minutes or a few hours, because it never makes any difference. I don't want to risk coming to her with anything less subtle for fear of angering her. I have tried to resolve things on the physical plane before I thought about magic. It just hasn't worked. :( 

Sea Sprite  14 Dec 2002 
Hi jlbvt ,

Sorry you have a mean boss.
If you work for a corporation where you have a human resources department; maybe go pay them a visit. Document the incidents with human resources, this sounds like a hostile workplace. No one should be subjected to verbal, emotional abuse.
If you work for a small company without human resource policies in place, then maybe you should consider looking for another employer next year. In the mean time, maybe try wearing a piece of black tourmaline to deflect negativity. ;)

truthsayer  14 Dec 2002 
Originally posted by jlbvt

I also like Truthsayer's idea of going into a meditation and meeting her with her guides and trying to resolve some things that way, but :confused: does that leave me unprotected while I am with her there, and is that considered astral projection? If she is possibly into magic, could she hurt me while I am doing it? What if her guides reject me, or do I control the whole thing?

in answer to your question, of course you are protected from her and she is protected from you. that's what the guides are for--to make sure everybody plays nice. i've never had a problem with anyone i took to the garden. it's not like astral projection. it's more like imagining the four of you meeting in a nice peaceful spot. since it's your meditation, she doesn't have to say anything. it's mainly to help you but if in your visual, she or her guide wants to speak then this should be a safe place for communication.

this whole scenario doesn't really happen like you might expect. the words used might actually be images or symbols that convey meaning. if she is into magic or anything else that might perceivably harm you then that is what your guide is there for--support and protect you. the fact you perceive this woman has magical power shows that she bothers and intimidates you more than you are comfortable admitting. try not to complicate the situation by worrying about things like will her guide reject you.

again this image belongs to you and you control what happens in your imagination. not her or any other outsider. focus on a positive outcome. this is to empower you not the opposite. always invite guides(or guardian angels) in w/ a request for the highest possible healing and light to be in the place of meeting. the whole thing will feel like you made it all up so don't feel disappointed. i usually feel like i've been daydreaming and sometimes don't even get a confirmation it helped. that's why repitition is good. it's very hard to describe how it feels but try not to take the scenario too literally.

it boils down to your higher self wanting to communicate with her higher self and see if some kind of bargain can be struck. i usually don't know if issues are worked out but it makes me feel better and more empowered. the most important thing is to make sure your emotional burdens with her get taken to the hand of god for cleansing and healing. she is not your burden to carry unless you agree to carry her by feeding her negativity by your fear. give up the need to bear this cross for whatever reason it has come into your life.

learn from her, bless her and let her leave. 

Shadow Wolf  20 Dec 2002 
I had a big problem with someone I worked with. She was a
senior teacher and I am just starting out. She took every
opportunity to berated me and make me think less of myself,
sometimes in front of the children.

I did NOT send any negative energy or vibes her way. I asked
Michael the Archangel to shield me from her negativity, and I didn't lower myself to her level. I also prayed for her, because I knew she was a mean and bitter person.

I envisioned myself in a bubble of light that her negativity could not penetrate, and other things similar to this.

If you allow yourself to return meaness with meaness you find yourself heading straight down the road you're finding your boss on. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE !!!!!

Try to take the "high road" and do things to protect yourself rather than retaliate. 

Hummingbird  10 Feb 2003 
So didja quit? 

The Need a spell for a MEAN boss! Help, please! thread was originally posted on 11 Dec 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.


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