Soulmates

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 17 Jan 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

springfish	17 Jan 2003
It's been a long time since I've been back on these pages. I've fallen down about as far as I think I could go and now, through the workings of karma or some other unseen device, I'm floating. How does one know if they've found their soulmate? Besides common interests and common goals and even the feeling or energy that exists around them. How do you know for sure?

zorya	17 Jan 2003
welcome back springfish. really sorry things have been hard for you. the wheel will turn and things will get better. in answer to your question; you know that old annoying saying, that you hear over and over? the one that says "if you have to ask, you haven't". well... it's true. ;) that's not to say you should give up on a relationship if you're not sure. give it time, perhaps you'll stop asking later.

lunalafey	17 Jan 2003
connections, energy, soulmates or not? I have been in relationships that felt SO right, and those so NOT right, yet ment to be. Each one unique in the 'connections' and 'energy'. I sometimes wondered if this (the good ones) was my soulmate......but when I actually got down to it.... we had connections for a reason.....then we moved on. Now that sounds kinda weak(?) but let me explain; All of the relationships that I have had that had these magnetic like pullings where long term commitments. Sometimes I was floating sometimes it felt like I was drowning, but i still felt I was where I was supposed to be at that monent in life. Finding someone you can connect with, be it friend or lover is a fine treasure...enjoy it...

springfish	17 Jan 2003
lunalafey, Thank you for your reply. I'm taking much comfort in your words. all my best, sf

january	17 Jan 2003
Hi There - Welcome back and I do hope things are on the upswing for you! I feel there are several types of soulmates. Sometimes people are drawn together in order to accomplish something great, as in the instance of John Lennon and Paul McCartney. They were "soulmates" who bonded and created timeless scores of music, of which will inspire generations to follow. Vincent Van Gogh and his brother Theo I believe were soulmates. Theo supported and financed Vincent's career and made it the focus of his life (much to his wife's chagrin, at times). In fact, about six weeks after Vincent died, Theo passed as well. A part of him was missing. I myself have a soulmate who at one point I thought was "the one" but he turned out to be actually much more - he came into my life at a very critical time and has given me the courage to be myself and persue my life's purpose. At the time, I couldn't figure out why i was drawn to him or him to me. Presently, we're very good friends who have collaborated on several projects. I have him to thank for my career as it is today as well as the all-around way I think about life. A romantic soulmate? No. A life-purpose soulmate? Yes! As far as romance, a soulmate I feel is someone who is beautiful to you no matter what the specs of their physical appearance. You're drawn to them for reasons you just can't explain to yourself. You just love them, enjoy being with them and feel their energy. This doesn't mean that everything is easy-peazy as there has to be some sort of challenge to allow for growth on both parts. It also doesn't mean that you're alike in every possible way. I do agree with Zorya in that "if you have to ask..." And then again, wait and see how things develop. If you and another are mutually drawn to one another, give it a chance! Perhaps you should pick up "Edgar Cayce on Soulmates". There are several stories and documentations of soulmate relationships of all kinds. Another good book is "Love, An Inner Connection" by Carol K. Anthony which is based on the I-Ching. Both books give tremendous insights into the soulmate phenomenon. Good luck and be good to yourself!

MeeWah	17 Jan 2003
Springfish: I generally agree with the previous comments. A soul-mate does not have to be of a romantic interest, but of practical applications as well. The common threads with soul-mates is that such relationships tend to share a common bond, usually from previous associations in some capacity; be supportive of each other as well as promoting learning experiences. If I recall correctly, the Edgar Cayce readings indicate that one can have more than one soul-mate. The individual soul purpose would be what directs a relationship aside from any other connection. Thus, whether a soul-mate or not, two individuals can come together for a time & then part ways.

Teranar	18 Jan 2003
I would like to say where the term soul mate first originated. The term soul mate comes from taoism and the taoist philosophy that at its birth a soul splits in two, its yin side and its yang side, and each goes into a different body, a male body and a female body, and when the two halves of a soul meet, they were mates, or soul mates, and this was assumed to be a perfect match, each making up for the other's weaknesses

Laurel	18 Jan 2003
I've put a lot of thought into this, in regards to my own life. I think soul-mates are made, not born. I'm pretty sure I have found mine. Our relationship is forged on a lot of levels, but its a process... we become more intimate, we resonate with each other more deeply, as life goes on. And we didn't hook up as romantic interests, nor even friends. Neither of us were looking for either in each other, but first came the friendship and then something...deeper. Through trial, tribulation, exploration, and good luck, smart choices, and a willingness to listen and learn. We weren't born soul-mates, but I hope we will die as such, in 40-50 years. ~LAS

Kiama	19 Jan 2003
I must agree with everybody who has posted here... I have found 3 of my soul mates in this life, one my boyfriend, and two my best friends. In all cases, there was just 'something' there which told me that we were meant to meet. The fact that hte relationships have continued through thick and thin for ages also gives me an idea. But anything beyond jst a feeling I have no idea on. I know it's very unscientific which is very unlike me, but I guess some things just aren't scientific! I also agree with Laurel that we can forge new soul-mate bonds in a lifetime, where we do not start out wit hsomebody as their soul mate, but, as Laurel said, do end life as being such. And what a beautiful bond that will be! One thing I don't agree with is the idea that 'if you have to ask...' This is just my personal opinion howver... I feel that we all experience doubt in any relationship, whether it be romantic or 'just friends'. When I first got together with my curent boyfriend/soul mate, I was only 16, and I didn't know very much about relationships, not real ones anyway! Up til that point all I had experienced was puppy-love and crushes, and shy kisses. In the first three weeks of the relationship, I asked my Mum 'how do you know if you love somebody?' quite simply cuz I didn't know. She replied 'if you feel them within you, if you miss them terribly when they're away, and if you cannot imagine life wihtout them, then it's love.' Her words may not fit to all types of relationship, but she did a damn good job of replying to such a difficult question! I guess in the end you nver know for sure if somebody is your soul mate. But you can have a damngood guess, o even attempt to create soul mates, as Laurel suggests! Welcome back to Aeclectic Springfish, and my best wishes and good luck for the situation you are in, whatever it is. Kiama

springfish	19 Jan 2003
Thank you all for your warm and welcome responses. It's been of great help to me in clearing my mind, which in turn has helped me see what truly is standing before me. I don't know very much about Tarot / Spirituality but I do know that I find a wealth of knowledge and a curiosity in the information and people here. Thanks again.

Ursula	19 Jan 2003
hey springfish, i tend to agree with John Gray (author of the (in)famous Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus books) that we have more than one soulmate. i don't know the ages of the people on this board, but i'm 40 and unmarried as yet, and so far i've found at least 2 soulmates. the first was a for sure: i remember looking into his eyes and thinking, "this could go on forever"--ever heard that line in a song somewhere, "i saw forever in your eyes"??? that's how it felt... and it freaked me out! now, he and i never married and don't ever plan to, though we are good friends to this day, consistently see through each other's BS, and have the time of our lives whenever we're together. still, for many reasons i won't go into (including religious differences) we are not meant to be as a couple, and that's ok. i'm just glad he's still in my life. a couple of years ago, when i thought i might actually be ready for a romantic relationship, i prayed for a soulmate to come into my life. he showed up--but he was gay and with a partner! still, we became fast friends and are definitely in tune with one another; the similarities still amaze me! i love him dearly and am always grateful to have him in my life. there was at least one other that may have been a soulmate, but we never got the chance to know each other long enough to find out. in short, i think we have many soulmates, and that while we may always be similar in spirit, our lives change and so do we, so that we are not always meant to be with each other. i'm not even sure at this point if i have to have a partner who i would consider a soulmate--maybe i'm getting too practical in my middle age, i don't know! i think there are so many considerations when it comes to long term relationships, and soulmates aren't necessarily compatible in every way that matters. in fact, i think that if we insist on finding a soulmate to share our lives with, we may be settling for less than we need and deserve--or using that as an excuse to never allow love into our lives at all, which is of course worse. i'm grateful for the soulmates i've found and hope i'll find some more... and that whomever i finally choose as a partner (God/dess willing) will be someone who is suited for that purpose, soulmate or no. them's my thoughts! brightest blessings, ~Urs :OL

MeeWah	20 Jan 2003
Sometimes, 'tis best to not have pre-concieved notions. My hubby is through a blessing; a quirk of fate or perhaps I sent out a prayer to Universe. I am not questioning it, only awed at how things worked out. I was certainly not looking for him or any one, for that matter, being really down on love like that Alabama song "Lady Down on Love" & moreorless convinced I would be a single parent for the rest of my life. I was *really*looking for a car! & no, he was not a car salesman. He started out as a friend, recommended by my kids. They ranged in age from 7 to 2; adored him, the father of a playmate--ye should know they looked cock-eyed at all other men. Left to my own devices, I would not have "chosen" him (perhaps one of my male friends who shared similar interests would have had more of a chance):a redneck with opposing political views who referred to my interests as "that occult stuff". He changed his tune when he saw me trying to understand his interests--cars, guns, football. He has become my biggest fan. O, I did find a car, too :D

reds97	21 Jan 2003
I think i have found mine.. but the doubts about it never really go away. He is too good for me, he is too good to me, and i don't know what i would do if i didn't have him. When we first kissed i knew he would be my best friend. And he is the first man/person i have met who i don't feel like i needed to change. I wouldn't have him be anything/anyone else. now iam getting all sentimental and weepy.. must change topic.! *L* sandra

firemaiden	21 Jan 2003
Quote: Originally posted by MeeWah Sometimes, 'tis best to not have pre-concieved notions. My hubby is through a blessing; a quirk of fate or perhaps I sent out a prayer to Universe. (snip) MeeWah that is an incredible story. It is inspiring to know it can happen even when you are "down on love" .... sigh... I have found many soulmates over the years. I have felt that the people who deeply touched my heart were my soulmates -- maybe if only for a moment, even my beloved little doggie alas, no longer with us, was my soulmate. sob. My mother is my soulmate too. But as far as a true love type romantic love and sex too for life type soul-mate...well... I believed in that when I was nineteen...now...well, I would love to be proven wrong...but now the idea seems impossible...so let me just say that the jury is still out...

Lady Skye	25 Jan 2003
I really like this topic. I am learning about what the term "soul mate" means in my life too. I had a romantic relationship with a man that lasted for quite some time ~ while I was married. The romantic part slowed down because of his reasons, BUT, we're still very closely connected spiritually. The connection has been so strong for both of us that we're still best of friends and look out for each other. Although I am married, I do not feel my present husband is my "soul mate." This other man is! I've really gone out on a limb to say all this so openly, but without doing so, I wouldn't be able to get my experience across. I feel somewhat bad about it but I believe this is what the universe has in mind for me and this other person. I'm not going to fight it because it's what's meant to be. The sad thing is that he and I aren't meant to be together in this lifetime. I really don't understand why things work out this way. Does anyone have any suggestions on why this is? )O(

firemaiden	26 Jan 2003
Well, I can't answer the question, but I can tell you about what it makes me think of...Have you read "Les Jeux sont faits" by Sartre? I had to read it in High School, (way back, in a previous century). This is what I remember of it: It is the story of Eve, and Pierre (I think I am remembering this right). Eve is an unhappy, married, rich woman, who poisons herself. Pierre is a poor young revolutionary who gets shot to death in an uprising (or something). They find themself waiting in line together, at the pearly gates, waiting to have their papers processed for admission to heaven. Here they fall madly in love. The bureaucracy of heaven decides they are not to be admitted, but sent back to earth, because they were supposed to have met eachother in life. They were supposed to have fallen in love and gotten together. So the bureaucracy of heaven sends them back for another chance. So they go back to life and try to live the love they were ordained to live by God. But unfortunately, they make all the same bad decisions again in the second chance, like she allows herself to be trapped by her status and by society, so she poisons herself again, and he gets involved in the revolution again, and gets shot again.... This is the story I think of often, because I met someone who in beauty, in kindness, in grace, in spirit, in body, in soul, delights me. Someone who makes me very happy...I think he must be the "Pierre" ordained to me by God...There is a sympathy between us so powerful, it cannot be explained. We enjoy every rare moment together. But this is not going to work out in this lifetime, that is for sure, for dozens of reasons, not the least of which being ...wrong age (waaaaaaaaaaaay too young), wrong religion, wrong nationality, not educated, etc, as well as a many other reasons, I dare not disclose... Why is this, we ask? I think the answer is that love is not rare. Love exists within us. Sometimes we meet people whose inner love resonnates with ours, or whose greatness is visible to us. We are love, and they are love, so when we come together, there is love. But it does not mean that is the only love. Love is a verb, we create it. As my first "guru" taught me, when we come from love, we don't have to go looking for it...

lunalafey	26 Jan 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Lady Skye The sad thing is that he and I aren't meant to be together in this lifetime. I really don't understand why things work out this way. Does anyone have any suggestions on why this is? )O( I had a situation simular...a strong attraction between a married, but very unhappy, man and I. People would assume we where a couple by the way we acted. I kept respectful boundries of course, but when she left him.....we never did 'it'...but we where able to express some feelings a bit more freely. See, it was the invisible, but strong enough connection that the wife could see it even though I kept my distance as much as possible to keep from having influence on the marriage. So she leaves, but will only return is he removes me from his life. I willingly let go of my dear friend. For 3 years I would dream about him. This does not sound so odd, but consider these facts; I almost never dream about people I know, and within 3 days I would see him in passing....he did not always see me(3; my # in numerology and his fav.# and his numolgy # is 4, my fav.)He would have the same experiences. Eventually she leaves for good...but are we together now? NO, it is not meant to be....even during our most intense connections, even though I love him unconditonally, I felt we would never be together...because we (I feel) where brother and sister in a past life, long lost from ages ago. We had missed each other in so many other lives that when we finally did find each other, it was just to overwhelming. Currently we are best of friends and we look out for each other.....especially when it comes to relationships.....I consider him one of my ETERNAL soulmates. MeeWah.....what a sweet story!!!!!

Lady Skye	26 Jan 2003
Lunalafey and Firemaiden, you have both made some good points. It got me thinking that perhaps we are meant to experience different levels of love with different people in our lives. We will feel stronger connections with some than others. The man I talked about in my previous posting will be strongly connected to me forever. Two different psychics told me that he and I were married in a past life. Maybe we have unfinished business yet to be discovered. I don't know what that might be at this point and will not try to figure it out. If it's meant to surface, it will. Thanks for your input. )O(

Alex	05 Feb 2003
the encounter between Orpheus and Euridice in the movie "Black Orpheus (1958, directed by Marcel Camus)".

The Soulmates thread was originally posted on 17 Jan 2003 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.