so sad

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 04 Mar 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

miranda	04 Mar 2003
im sorry if this brings anyone down.. i just feel so near tears today.. wanted to get it out.. life can be soo disapointing sometimes... ive been on prozac for many years & am now trying to ween myself off of it.. also i have not had periods since i was about 19 due to my depression my doc put me on my BC pill to where i dont have periods.. & now i want them i miss having a normal cycle but my huuby is worred im gonna fliip out.. cuz my depreession often brings thoughts of harming myself I was diagnosed with bi polar.. but dammit i dont WANT to be on drugs & stuff & my hubby was on disability for 6 months due to anxiety & depression & now we are very behind in bills & playing catch up (he is back to work now)but we are at eachother all the time about money he cant sleep so they keep putting him on dif drugs... last feb i decided to model & act.. & have had pretty good success but not made any substansial money yet.. so that always causes me to say.. am i in the right career for me?? also a few major project ive focussd allot of energy on are completely stalled..... i guess im just asking for some posotive energy from anyone who reads this... also anyone goin thru the same thing.. would be great to hear from u also

Red Emma	04 Mar 2003
Dear Miranda, I can really relate to your mood. I've been treated for depression of and on since I was thirty -- and believe me that's a whole lot of years. I've found that one of the most important things to remember is that one of depression's most reliable, and most dangerous, symptoms is the strong need to continually put yourself down, and tell yourself what a rotten person you are. Do not, DO NOT EVER, let the vicious old disease pull you into this trap. Secondly, I can really understand your wish to get off drugs and stay away from them. However, this could well be the old self-destruct demon himself talking as in,if you were a good person you'd not need the Prozac crutch." I frequently felt the same way, until my husband pointed out 1) that I'm a terrific person, 2) if I were diabetic I wouldn't try to wean myself from insulin, and 3) I did have a suicide attempt and I realized that if Prozac kept me alive -- which it has done -- then I'd down the damned stuff every friggin day. And I'm really, really grateful that I did or I wouldn't be around to have fun with the greatest grandchildren on this earth. About your decision to try modeling and acting; if you have any success at all in that highly competitive field, then you've got a good shot at making a go of it. Keep at it as long as you want to and as long as you gain satisfaction from the work itself. Write me privately if you want to. I'll give you all the help I can. However, I want to mention that I am not a doctor, just someone who's been struggling with depression, it seems like forever. And I'll be damned if I let the damned stuff win. It may get the upper hand on occassion, but I'll never let it win! Goddess Bless and Best wishes, Red Emma

miranda	04 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Red Emma Dear Miranda, I Secondly, I can really understand your wish to get off drugs and stay away from them. However, this could well be the old self-destruct demon himself talking as in,if you were a good person you'd not need the Prozac crutch." I frequently felt the same way, until my husband pointed out 1) that I'm a terrific person, 2) if I were diabetic I wouldn't try to wean myself from insulin, and 3) I did have a suicide attempt and I realized that if Prozac kept me alive -- which it has done -- then I'd down the damned stuff every friggin day. And I'm really, really grateful that I did or I wouldn't be around to have fun with the greatest grandchildren on this earth. About your decision to try modeling and acting; if you have any success at all in that highly competitive field, then you've got a good shot at making a go of it. Keep at it as long as you want to and as long as you gain satisfaction from the work itself. Goddess Bless and Best wishes, Red Emma thank u red emma.. grrrrrrrr this SUX... for a while i had doc switching my meds every 2 weeks.. & REALLLY strong stuff... & i could not cope with the major changes so i chose to get back on prozac.. it really helped to look at it the way u put it.. if i were a diabetic then id def take the insulin.....for some reason ive been under the crazy notion that becoming more spiritual would make me NOT bi polar.. LOL also ive noticed before my *episodes* ill get the 9 of swords.. thats kinda a warning i supppose eh? as far as my carerrr.. i belive this is one of my karma celanups... learning PATIENCE.. cua i intuitvely know this is what i should be doing....its just not fast enough.. lol i get these horrible thoughts .. if i were prettier.. this would not take so long.. & bla bla bla..but im also working with a handicap.. im in michigan NOT the biggest modeling & acting capitol & i cannot afford to travel .. so .. yea i am doing well in it... & my hbby points that out often & whenever i talk about quitin.. hes 100% against that thank u soo much for taking the time to post to me.. it really did help i think im gonna have a new way of looking at prozac.. one other reason i didnt want to take it.. iz cuz well im soo afraid that it will inhibit my spiritual progress. u know maybe fog my mind... thank u again

Hedera	04 Mar 2003
Hi Miranda, *Big hug* (you sound like you need it!) Great that you came here to vent! Venting is very important, especially in a situation like yours. I use prozac, too, have been using it for about 2 years now, and I am still glad to have found this 'crutch' that enables me to lead a life - I'm not talking about a normal life, mind you ;), that is still years ahead of me, just any life. Being able to get up in the morning, facing complicated and exhausting tasks like showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast. For some reason, I find the winters hard (lack of light, etc), but the summers even harder: to be depressed when other people are outside, enjoying themselves, makes me feel very weak, incompetent, guilty, etc. But - it changes. The good things as well as the bad things, it all changes. This winter was not so bad. I started a few new things. I even finished a couple. Ofcourse, like you, I would like to lead a drug-free life, but I think that will come when the time is right. As long as you don't get complacent (and, well, you certainly don't *sound* complacent!) about living with the medication, and keep looking for alternatives, in lifestyle and philosophy as well, I don't think you should worry too much about taking them. A chemical imbalance in your brain, that in a different culture might not exist at all, or might have had devastating consequenses, is being 'corrected' by a chemical. Maybe a little strange, but I don't think that is bad. As for career and projects: Do you like what you do? Of course, if you dislike what you do, but want to do it because you think you can make a fast buck with it, you might want to look for something else. But you don't sound like that, you sound as if you have found your 'niche'. I know money is important, and I know that it can mess up your life to not have it, but if you *love* what you do, and you can scrape by a little while longer, I don't think you should switch careers just yet. A year is not really a long time to wait for success, especially in professions like yours, where luck plays a big part, too, apart from skill, talent, dedication, etc. As for your husband, not sleeping... I know what that is like! Taking a sleeping tablet every now and then, no more than twice a week, is ok for a while, but try not to do it too much. The body gets used to that stuff very quickly. I'm sure that, like me, you have tried all the yoga/herbal teas/meditation/hot baths/cold showers/relaxing tapes/ etc, etc..... Sometimes they even work, a little, for a while. Not sleeping is terrible. But as long as he get *some* real (non-drugged) sleep once in a while, he will probably live. Ofcourse, I don't need to tell you that sex is a great sedative, too! (At least, that's what I seem to remember - I've been single for, about, oh, 193 years now, I think....:() ;) Ok, as for being on the pill... The 'Natural Cycle' you are probably thinking of is largely an invention of male pharmacologists, picked up by feminists in the '70 and adopted by a lot of 'new age' people lately. How much of our life is natural? Our bodies have been designed for a lifespan of around 35 years, yet we expect to live healthily for around twice that time, and usually do. The most 'natural', original cycle would be: menstruate at 12, get pregnant, have baby, get pregnant again at, say, 14, have baby, get pregnant again, etc, etc, etc.... Not very appealing, I think. 'Natural' is a very romanticized concept. But actually, women on the pill are, hormonically speaking, closer to that than women who are not on the pill. The hormones in the pill are the same hormones that are in your body when you are pregnant! Of course, if you want to stop contraceptives, you could. Personally, I would prefer to do that while being on slightly firmer ground in the rest of my life. I hope that, in spite of all the ranting and talking about lil' old me, you feel a little bit better. You can always pm me if you need more hugs. :) I wish you strength and happiness! :*

Red Emma	04 Mar 2003
About medications retarding your spiritual growth...I don't think so. In fact it probably enhances it. Let me explain. As I remember the depths of depression, you're so down on yourself that it's hard to think beyond your own needs and the desperate trouble you're in. I never had the energy or the inclination to consider anything beyond that. My only feeling was misery, and my only thought was to find a way to fill that big, black, empty void at the center of myself. For me, Prozac and competent therapy filled that hole and helped me to find myself (I had tried too hard to fill the roles society expected of women of my generation). Once I found the real person, the personality that The Spirit had given me, I could then explore the world, and The Universe, around me. Through that I found The Spirit, and with Its/Her/His help could gain real insight into myself, my role on this earth, and grow according to the plan that had been assigned me. I wish I knew what else to say. For me, Prozac has freed me from a vicious disease and helped me to find my way in life. Best wishes, Red Emma

miranda	04 Mar 2003
[quote]Originally posted by Hedera [b]Hi Miranda, *Big hug* (you sound like you need it!) Great that you came here to vent! Venting is very important, especially in a situation like yours. yes i totaly need the hug *hugs back* just talked to my hbby a few min ago ( on the phone , hes on afternoons) about the sleeping pills.. hes GOT to try something dif. & hes NOT... i started sleeping with the TV off & rarely have the radio on anymore even during the day.. & now i can sleep :) *yiippeee* but he is refusing to let the *stimulating * crutches go... i was scared of it at first.. cuz once u shut the Tv & radio & video games off.. what do u have?? YOU...only YOU & your thoughts.. but it has helped immensly so has mediation ( even if im not doin it right lol) i still get depressed OBVIOUSLY.. but it seeems to be more infrequent & not as LOW as it once was.. so im making progress:) not sure what to do about the pill i dont mind being on it.. but i do mind not having periods anymore.. my doc put me on it where i take it contiously rather than stop for that week for my period its been like that for many years now... but i miss having something that my body should be doing...make sense? but do i want kids .. yea but NOT now.. wow thats this is the last thing id want to bring a new life into.. not until we are both mentally stable.. im soo happy to have found this site.. for one the people on here are so understanding .. ive always loved discussion forums but most ive been on.. id never even think to post a thread like i did here..id have gotten ripped apart! as for my career.. i reallylove it.. i love seeing pics of me looking beautiful & perfect..(always had a insecurity about my loooks) i also love being able to *touch* people... in this business u get allot of lonely people reaching out to u ,... allot of mail from people (mostly guys) who are sad .. who dont even think im gonna respond & when i do some get very happy.... that a good feeeling & no its def not for the quick buck LOL grrrrrr all the money in this business seems to be more in the *adult* arena LOL as far as luck.. ive met some GREAT people who have helped me so yea thats a major factor.. being in the right place at the right time & im VERY pushy.. so that helps if i want something ill keeep trying til i get it, try one way that doesnt work..try to get in another way LOL as far as getting up in the morning.. im totally with u on that sometimes its like.. whats the point?? & im with u on the summer thing.. god the guilt i feel when my hubby wants to go out & i just dont want to & i know if i force myself i may bring everyone else down so i hide...spent allot of time hiding from people & things... many years & thats really sad & now i try to make sure even if i dont want to do something or im scared of it.. i do it anyway

miranda	04 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Red Emma [ i wish i knew what else to say. for me, prozac has freed me from a vicious disease and helped me to find my way in life. best wishes, red emma [/b] you have said allot .. trust me... this is all helping.. for one.. i feel allot better right now... everything will come in time.. im sure *big violet hugs all over this thread:)*

RAVENAL	04 Mar 2003
Sleeping well the night before makes all the difference in how we feel and respond the next day...some simple solutions for me and mine have been white noise...that almost inaudible static sound that is apparent between radio stations...it can be tuned down to almost audible and resonates with the brain to promote restful sleep and dreams...my son had trouble sleeping as an infant and his pediatrician suggested it...and classical music as well...tuned at low volume...and the sound generating machines that provide natures rythyms such as waterfalls...ocean...rain...brooks are also very helpful...the sound of a bedside fountain is so very soothing and has the added benifit of putting moisture into the air...much needed when the winter weather is upon us... my husband was taking Prozac for about 4 years...our Dr. advised him to take meletonin to aid sleep when he was having problems and suggested taking it at about 5pm to acheive it's peaking action to coordinate with the peaking of our natural sources of melatonin in brain chemistry...this works well if your job and lifestyle is the typical 9 to 5...but would need adjustment if you slept during the day and worked at night...but your doctor could best advise you on this...it works well for us but does stimulate dreams... in researching Prozac and depression I came across much clinical evidance of natural remedies such as Bergemont essential oil and St.Johns Wort being effectively used in Europe for depression and being used concurrently with Prozac to allow lower dosages and eventually withdrawel for some patients...the assistance of a natropathic or holistic practicioner is extremely helpful...my husband found both these remedys pleasant and very effective... but needed to be used for some time to take effect...baths with essential oils were very helpful too... depression is something I have experienced as well and light therapy or natural sunlight if it is available has been a major uplift for me...when I lived in sunnier climates there were not the mood swings and low points that I can experience now that I am living in the northeast during the winter months...but bright light at night can actually sap our natural stores of melatonin and cause sleep disorders and mood swings...so can sugar or carbohydrates...and caffine...again consulting an alternative practicioner treating you holistically could be very helpful...and provide some new directions for treatment it's ok to cry...it is human...and after we've released such grief we will usually feel much better...I always encourage crying... a therapist once told me that tears actually are the bodys way of releasing and flushing the toxic chemicals that can make us feel depressed...deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth...are also taught in many eastern traditions to bring balance and oxygenate the body and brain...this can be very calming...and helped me tremendously before surgery... the insightful and caring comments from all the posts have been so very supportive and I hope something I have said may help you and your husband to feel better too...know that you are not alone and you are worthy and well loved...Blessings

miranda	04 Mar 2003
hi ravenal:) i have noticed good UNAIDED sleep helps sooooo much ... im trying to teach him that the posts in here have helped allot.... maybe cuz this has taken my mind off MY problems & into others lives a bit? & grrr i have one of those waterfalls.. he says it makes him want to pee all the time! so i put that up... & yes the breathing excerisz u talk about do help .. specially if u put it with in with posotive out with negetive BUT what about when your soo down or having such a anxiety attacku just dont WANT to do those things that will help.. ya know u almost cant make yourself do it ... i doubt im the only one here who feels that?

RAVENAL	05 Mar 2003
Miranda...just know that you are loved...and you are never alone...do you have any pets...their unconditional love is so very supportive and sometimes we need their exceptionally loving energy...if you don't...maybe consider volunteering at a shelter...or maybe adopting a pet...we are so stressed and depressed as humanity on this planet now with threats of war and wars continuing around the world just to name one of our problems...the media overload is overwhelming at times...and I have stopped watching...this doesn't mean that I have thrown in the towel...but I just don't need that extra stress...helping others when I feel so down myself has been the best tonic for me...and I bet there are people or places or something in your life now that needs you...needs what only you can give ...and will be so very appreciative of your attention and support...remember to fold your wings around you and be gentle with yourself...and remember that you are loved...be well...PEACE and LOVE

cheekyminx	05 Mar 2003
I can relate, even though my story is a little different. I suffer from chronic psorasis (8 years now) & I'm on cyclosporin, have been for about 3 years now & will be for the rest of my life as it's the only thing that works. As much as I dislike taking tablets every night & day I know that without it I will be covered head to toe with psorasis. I still have a bit on my skin but nothing like it used to be before I started this medication, but I have a lot of scaring from old spots. Because of my skin condition I have suffered from low self esteem & have little confidence within myself but I try not to let this get me down as there are people worse off than me in this world. When you come to think of it, no one is perfect & everyone has something they consider to be wrong with them, be it glasses, asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, dermatitis, too many freckles, being overweight, too hairy, too thin etc.

miranda	05 Mar 2003
[quote]Originally posted by RAVENAL revenal .. ive got tonz of babies (snoopy, cashmere , luna , chicken,pasqualle, & the turtles LOL they all rock :) sometimes its not enough LOL now i feeel so much better that i feel silly about how sad i was earlier.. odd huh? & this << remember to fold your wings around you and be gentle with yourself...and remember that you are loved...be well...PEACE and LOVE>> was beautiful:)

miranda	05 Mar 2003
[ when you come to think of it, no one is perfect & everyone has something they consider to be wrong with them, be it glasses, asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, dermatitis, too many freckles, being overweight, too hairy, too thin etc. [/b][/quote] true VERY true ...& another thing something YOU may think is the worste another person will think its not even a big deal like the guy with no legs would prb say so frickin what your creative project is stalled.. so what your kinda broke this month.. you can walk ** on a lighter note** i put a few violet light bulbsin my room... its really nice u guys should try it & it helps if u do violet flame decrees :)

Red Emma	05 Mar 2003
Extremely happy you're better. Post on the site or PM any one of us when you get down. We're glad to help. About sleep aids: I've found that each of us in the Pagan Community has their own favorite remedies. What works really well for me is Valerian Root, and Tylenol P.M. Not at the same time, of course. About forcing yourself to do things when you're really down, I've found that forcing myself is very hard to do at such times. However, if I can manage it, it does trigger all kinds of beneficial doohickeys in the brain, or somewhere in the system. Although I'll admit that there are days when I say, "Oh the hell with it," find a good mystery and curl up. That way is pure escape, but it makes life tolerable and gives you time while your system adjusts itself. Best wishes, Red Emma

miranda	05 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Red Emma [b red emma [/b] ahhhh *sigh* escapism.. i love it.. did it for many years.. & TRYING so hard not to now tylenol pm is HORRIBLE for me.. i feel like a dark cloud is over me the whole next day :) emma i sent ya a thank u PM last night please if anyone here EVER needs to talk about anything im there i dont work a normal job so im home allot & check my emails every hour or so

truthsayer	05 Mar 2003
i'm getting in on this thread a little late so let me know if i'm just kicking a dead horse here. miranda, you mentioned in your first post that you were diagnosed as bipolar. if that's true, it's very very important for you to stay on the medications prescribed by your doctor to keep you moods stable. do your moods tend to cycle from manic to depressed before you went on meds? the prozac helps moderate/ level out your extreme highs and lows. i know how hard it can be to stay on meds when things seem to be okay or you're just tired of taking meds. there are a lot of people who try to make out that pharmacology is all bad and only natural can be good. the wrong natural meds can hurt you just like the wrong prescription. so don't be fooled. i once had a friend who was bipolar. she decided that she could control her mood swings through diet and herbal remedies. she was a vegetarian and cut cane sugar from her diet. she believed sugar was what made her manic. i felt like she got manic whether she ate sugar or not! she could be un-nerving at times. another thing is that there is scientific evidence that if you wean off a medicine that works effectively for you then you try to start back up, the effectiveness of that drug will decrease. treatment for bipolar like diabetes is for the long term. it's not like taking anti-biotics for an infection. meds help the body maintain itself chemically. there is a body/mind connection. the mind is a part of the body b/c the mind is a function of the organ the brain. i have major depression and an anxiety disorder which i take 4 different medications for every day. plus a med to stabilize a chronic pain disorder and birth control pills to stabilize my hormonal migraines. i know what happens when i don't take my meds. i don't like feeling too depressed to move or having anxiety attacks about everything or being in any kind of pain. i actually get nervous if my doctor want to lower my meds! LOL so i get blood screening every 6 months to be sure that my liver isn't being damaged by what i take. if you're worried about the effect prozac might have on your body then i suggest talking to your doc about getting your blood screen every 6 months. i know that's more expense but preventative medicine is a whole lot cheaper than illness. hopefully you have a doctor you like and trust that you can discuss these issues with. a good trustworthy doctor is worth a mint.

truthsayer	05 Mar 2003
another thought on how to deal with the money issues: there should be a free consumers' program called consumer credit counseling in every state in the usa. CCS can help you look at your bills and income objectively. they can talk to your creditors and put you on a budget. sometimes they can set up a plan of sending them a certain amount every month to divy out among your creditors. they work with creditors as to how much you owe and how much they will accept monthly so you can hope to pay some to everyone you owe. if the program charges for its services or try to give you a "consolidated loan" that is definitely NOT what you want. i was on CCS for 5 years but eventually got out of debt. it called for some self-sacrifice but it was worth. i think in the last year i was in the program, they had to start charge $5 a month for their services. still not bad considering, they were paying postage and office supplies. doing something like this might ease the financial strain b/t you and hubby. as to sleep, i have found that if i stay on the computer late (like i am tonight ;) ), i tend to get overstimulated and have problems sleeping. staying routine bed time with routine things you do before bed really helps. i like taking a warm shower to relax. sometimes i drink something decaf that's warm like hot chocolate. then i curl up with a book. it's important that this book not be too exciting or you'll end up all night reading it! another thing i find helps is writing about the days events in my journal. that helps me relax more so that i won't be worrying about the should haves and should not haves of that day. exercise like some yoga programs for relaxation could be considered. my mother has insomnia and she swears by her morning routine to wake up and the night routine to get relaxed for bed.

miranda	06 Mar 2003
x

miranda	06 Mar 2003
omg im a airhead.. i posted a whole longgg thing .. back to truthsayer & went back in to edit it to take out her words so the post would not be so long.. & ended up deleting everything id said.. ill come bck in a bit & post it again... LOL i cant type anymore now grrrrr

DarkElectric	06 Mar 2003
Hi beautiful, talented Miranda:) And yes, you are all that! Prozac is a lifesaver to millions of depressed people. It was, in my opinion, the breakthrough in drug therapy which heralded an undrestanding of depression, and other brain chemical imbalances as TREATABLE illness. It always has made me really angry that the head has been ignored as a member of the body. Anything below the neck was diagnosed as having something potentially curable, whereas anything above the neck was stigmatized. Unless it was brain cancer, or some other disorder of the meat. But, now the mind body connexion is being more readily acknowleged by the medical community. Therefore, people no longer have to suffer the debilitation of depression, or similar illnesses. Treatment gives hope, and a new lease on life free from the vicissitudes of chemical imbalance. Prozac, and related therapies, merely replace the missing molecules of the deficient chemical in the brain, and serve to equalize the imbalance, reinstating the condition of normalcy. It does not affect spirituality in a negative manner, nor does it change the personality. It merely restores one to health. Best of luck to you, and I hope you make it in the acting world!

Liliana	06 Mar 2003
Hello I feel for you, Ive suffered depression my whole life but just yesterday went for my first counciling appointment. The first things shes making me do is fill out a paper with my goals (what i want out of therapy), my strengths (the hard part) and people I can count on if I need help. Second shes making me write 5 things I like about myself on a paper and say them to myself in the mirror everyday. She says when you tell yourself something long enough you eventually believe it, but first I have to think of 5. Im not on meds yet, I took prozac for awhile 5 years ago but it didnt help me. Im on the list to see the psychatrist, but it wont be until May sometime, I want something other than Prozac this time. I also suffer from Genral Anxiety and a more specific anxiety disorder, but not to the point of it being dibilitating. But if you have something you are talented at, go for it, the world will love you :) :THP

Hedera	06 Mar 2003
Liliana, There is a *lot* of choise in anti-depressants, all subtly different. A friend of mine has very good results from Seroxat (marketed in the us as Paxil), which has never workes for me. St John's Wort seems to be an interesting alternative (if you do a search on Google, you'll find a couple of good sites and forums about it), but be careful: it interferes with a lot of other medication, amongst which contraceptives. The reason it interferes seems to actually have something to do with why it is effective in the first place: it helps to break down certain chemicals. I know you'll probably read this everywhere, but if you consider using it, please consult your doctor. He may not agree on it's effectiveness, but at least he can check if it interferes with anything important. And start using condoms. Miranda, I know what you mean about knowing what you need to do to get out of a depression 'attack' (it really is a lot like something like epilepsy, it comes and goes, and sometimes you can prevent or shorten/lessen it. Only depression is slower and a bit more subtle), and not having the energy to actually do it. Very important: don't beat yourself up over that! Forgive yourself. And then move on. A lot of people who suffer from depression feel they have to be good at everything, all the time. You don't have to be. You can't. No one can. Imperfection is what makes life interesting and varied. You'll find that when you can treat yourself gently, your body will be kinder, too. So this time you didn't go outside when you knew it would have helped you. At least you realized what you could do. If you nurture yourself, instead of punishing yourself, maybe next time you *will* be able to do it. :) Hedera.

miranda	06 Mar 2003
wheew this topic has really opened some stuff up here.. good, im glad some good came out of it.. maybe we all should set up some sort of support system for eachother.. or for all depressed people? truthsayer: im sure im not going to remember half of what i posted to u yesterday & then deleted grrrrr But i first went to the docs at lilke 18 or 19 & they said i was just really depressed.. that was a OBGYN.. i was put on prozac.. then years later (about 6 months ago) i went to my hubbys phsycologist & he diagnosed me as borderline bi - polar.. & tried many other dif drugs all of which had me so ANGRY all the time.. so i finally decided i could not take any of the stuff he was gving me so i went back on prozac... yes i have major mood swings one minute im the most hyper most happy person ull meeet.. can barely even speak with out a stutter im so hyper.. then .. i hit the ground & wont speak to ANYONE .... DarkElectric:: thank u for the kind words :) i also agre that it is a chemical imbalance but i also assumed you grew out of it??? & i quit taking the prozac cuz i felt i HAD grown out of it... Liliana: VERY tru u think something enough it comes tru!that goes along with the theory that our minds are the builders.. or that thoughts are THINGS & im with u on the anxiety thing.. about one year ago i was to the point that just talkin to someone i wasnt VERY close to.. my heart would start pumping , id start blushing it was horrible..

DarkElectric	07 Mar 2003
Hi Miranda! I may be growing out of it now, actually. I was never medicated, but St Johnswort really did help me for a while, until I started to turn orange. (It can do that) And I wasn't seriously, or chronically depressed. That's the difference I think. My brain chemmies somehow regulated themselves. It may have been the change in lifestyle in my case~ vitamins, drinking more pure water, healthier food, and more sleep than I was getting. Also, I was not in the best of physical health for about 3 years. The constant drain of debilitating bodily weirdness can depress anybody. The condition has been recently corrected, and this has literally banished the depression. So, I'm not a good example of depression, per se. But I know more than a few people who are dealing with MAJOR depression, and these poor folks suffer so. Those who are open to therapy fare a lot better than the ones who are resistant to any form of help at all. A support group is definitely a great idea. Communicating with other people who are in the same fix sort of spreads the load out so everyone bears it better, and sometimes somebody stumbles across a new form of therapy which can benefit other people in the group. Just don't give up on yourself, and it will all work out eventually!

The so sad thread was originally posted on 04 Mar 2003 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.