ONLINE LOVE

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 15 Apr 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

moonman	15 Apr 2003
Hi all, I been reading threads about love,reationshipsand feelings towards each other etc. I know a few of you here have had a few experiences in this but what about the sexual chemisty ? where does this fit it in with your spiritualilty when cyber has taken over and you tapping away on your keyboard. In my past experience I gave it a go before I met my wife a few years go. I was alone and work made it harder for me to go out and meet people. I didn't tell a sole as I thought it was a bit weird etc. but to cut a long story short the woman I met up with was OK , we got on fine but we both got carried away with what we was expecting. Thank God we did sent a real photo of eachother but when we met we'd both wish we didn't say such horny things to each other which later killed out friendship. I feel it can work and Ihad heard some success stories. One funny story was when a friend of mine had his 20 questions all answered about a lady that he was mailing then, phoned quite a few times,They got on really really well and made cyber love on line, what ever that is(Idon't want to know) Anyway when they decided to meet up he felt sick as a dog. But I could not stop laughing because it was so funny it done his confidence good at the time. If I was single again finding a friend to then become a partner is my only option due to work etc.unless I would I find someone at work.. I feel it's still a taboo but as it 's still and will always have a seedy sad feel towards it, not only because you don't know if it's a man, woman,joke,weirdo or love BUT saying all that you can meet someone on a course, pub, friend of a friend who can be the same. What's your views?

Kiama	15 Apr 2003
I know love can bloom from online relationships and cyber-sex. I've seen it happen. The reason why it is seen as seedy, etc, is because of the dangers attached to it. Not all online relationships suffre from the dangers, but there are still dangers... Such as: - The person not really being who they say they are - You expecting more from them IRL, based on what they have said online (This is usually what happens when one has cyber-sex with another, and they say things during that, and you expect it to be true in real life... I've been there, albeit with phones instead of online, but often one finds that reality is more bland than what is said in texts, MSN messages, etc...) - The person having ulterior motives. There are esp. huge dangers when it is young girls who are doing this, as we often see happening in the news: Girls are preyed on by paedophiles on the net, pretending to be young girls themselves, getting the girls to meet up with them IRl... :( But when you already know the person well online, I see no problem with it. I know people can have immense, deep feelings of true love for each other despite only ever having talked either on phones or the net (Usually both). I guess in the modern world we have so many opportunities to meet new people from all around the world, and with this comes new mediums for expression. Spirituality, views on love, etc, need to develop and grow to encompass these new mediums and opportunitoes, but love is always such a traditional thing, so it is difficult for one to change one's previously accepted ideas about love in order to fit online love into the equation. Kiama

Centaur	15 Apr 2003
Yes, it can happen. I met someone on-line whom I ended up having a real life relationship with for a year. Lovely guy, even although towards the end he turned out to be an idiot. Such is life! HOWEVER! I have had some of the most hellish experiences re. on-line dating. I chatted to one guy. Told me he was 26. Made himself out to sound like quite a package! So, we met up, and he was in his late sixties. You have to be very careful. People can lie about anything. I just can't believe that some people expect to lie and get away with it. I mean, there is a HUGE difference between 26 and late 60's!!!!!! Bizzaro! C

Demonesse	15 Apr 2003
Meeting someone online, chatting for some time and going on to create a RL relationship is plausible. It can be very exciting to meet someone who seems like the ONE - I've seen a few success stories. IMHO, most people feel more at ease behind the facade of relative anonymity discussing issues and interests that they keep hidden from others, or that they'd be too shy or ackward to broach on a RL date - whatever. Cybersex is for cheap thrills. That's my opinion, but if one gets a kick out of it - heck, that's your business, I don't want to know! However, I think sustaining a relationship, especially long distance ones in different states, or even transcontinental ones, has almost no chance of succeeding. I've seen online friends rave lovingly about the perfect person they found through email or chatrooms, even talk of moving halfway across the world to be with the other person, only to break up within a few months. I suppose it must be very difficult when you can't even hear the other person's voice or sit down and have a warm face to face talk...having an image or impression is no substitute during a long, cold, lonely night, I would surmise. But like Kiama said, it can be very dangerous. Giving your phone number or personal information through chatrooms with the intention of meeting people whom you haven't been talking to for long is definitely not recommended - it's probably stupid. Even if you've been chatting with the person for months until you feel like you know the person inside out, exercise caution. If you do intend to meet an online friend, meet the person in daylight in a very public place. People lie, online - about physical attributes, financial situations and motives. One teenage girl here met an online friend for a drink, and was summarily pushed into an alley, brutally beaten and raped.

azuremariposa	15 Apr 2003
well, i'm not sure the question here...but here's my story... about 4 yrs ago i frequented chatrooms on lycos (while at work even! lol)...i chatted w/lots of different guys, had crushes here and there, etc., etc...some of the "relationships" progressed to phone calls, some didn't...some turned out to be married...some turned out to be 16 yrs old...one turned out to be so effeminate (sorry if i misspelled that) that when he called & left a mssg w/my brother, my brother said, "some chick named Danielle called"...uh...it was Daniel...and the entire time i talked to him i had to keep telling myself "it's a guy...i know it's a guy...i has to be a guy" b/c he sounded more feminine than i do!! lol anyway, i digress... so, along the way i met this really cool guy...but he was in TX ("texas? ugh!" i thought)...then he said he had long hair ("eeeeewwwwwww" was my 1st reaction)...then he said he was skinny...i was like, no way, guess this one will just be a friend...so, some time went by and he confessed he was really a big guy (which i love) and we got to talking on the phone...he was really sweet and quite romantic and i was really really falling in love... so, we decided to meet...he was working on assignment in florida (he designed custom interiors for airplanes...747 airplanes...not bitty ones) and i flew down to meet him...we had an amazing weekend and i was even happier... he came up to NJ to meet my family the next month, and that went well also...i took him to all the touristy things in NYC and he was thrilled...all the while we were falling deeper in love w/each other... the next month, we moved in together...we both moved to FL where he had gotten hired at the company he was doing assignment work with and then it turned out i was preggers... well, w/such a new relationship, one would think we wouldn't have kept the baby...but we did, things weren't always great, but we survived... time went on, things got hairy for awhile, we moved back to NJ for a bit...i got preggers again, and had our daughter shortly after we moved to TX...we moved to TX b/c of his kids from a previous marriage...they needed him, so we went...anyway, we're settled here and i truly like it down here... we'll be celebrating our 4th anniversary in July of this year...i love him more than anyone and i know he feels the same...we would do anything to make each other happy, and even though we have our moments, we are both very happy together... so, if you asked if online love is possible, yes i believe it is...is it for everyone? i doubt it...strawberries, while delicious, aren't for everyone either...i think it all depends on the people involved... so, that's my story about online love... many blessings to all! ~azure p.s. this post should be noted as the only one i will ever make w/o smilies! hehe

HudsonGray	15 Apr 2003
I know people who had really bad relationships happen with those they met online, and people who were lied to about the appearances & physical side, and one who did have some nice friends (not dating intent) online that they chatted with regularly, but even though so much can be said via computers, you're still missing out on all the visual communication clues--you can't see them, can't see their reactions, can't get a very accurate impression of who they really are until you meet them face to face. And since visual communication is about 80% of actual communication, you're only working with about 20% if it's all done online. Be cautious, be aware that people do lie to make themselves seem better than they are for those 'visual' impressions, and hold onto the 'love' till you can get to really know who it is you're about to give part of yourself to (emotionally, spiritually, physically). What's that latin phrase? Buyer beware?

firemaiden	15 Apr 2003
Just as there are different quality neighborhoods, different atmospheres in restaurants, different kinds of radio stations, so too is the internet a vast and varied place where anything can happen. I'm sure you will agree that friendships and love affairs kindled through Aeclectic.net, are not in the same catergory as encounters developed through 1-800-dial-a-hussy. Would I trust my life with someone I met last night at Bob's Skuzzy Carpark Bar? No way. But to someone I have known a year on a specific interest forum, moderated and cared for like Aeclectic? where we plumb the depths of all kinds of philosophical, historical, spiritual, iconographical, personal, frivolous, deep, etc. aspects of tarot? Absolutely. Furthermore, I disagree that the written word is only 20% of the person. Depending of course, on your skills of perception, you may be able to devine the whole from a part. (I have said much the same thing on the photos thread). As my great friend Major Tom once said, "It all works together, Paula". Stick the knife in the hog at the shoulder, or the ankle, or the rump, and it will still come out with hogs blood. Lies can be seen through. But you need to know how to look. The internet allows people to return to an art of dating that was perfected in the time of Jane Austen. You receive a painted portrait perhaps, from a mutual friend. You fall in love with the portrait. You begin to correspond, by letter. You share everything that can be shared through writing. Then one day, (already promised to eachother) you meet, and continue a courtship in the flesh... very slowly -- without touching. In the meat market dating scene, it is next to impossible to get to know someone well before the pressure to sleep with them comes up. The internet allows people to meet and fall in love with eachother through the spirit first, while the flesh is conveniently held at bay by distance. I personally have three friends whose internet friendships ended up in wonderful marriages. I noticed, in each case, the couple had this unusual quality, of having seemingly worked out everything in advance, they knew eachother so deeply, and had come to a state of mutual agreement and respect such as I had never seen in other couples.

Demonesse	15 Apr 2003
The internet does allow people to get to know each other better. Talk more. Learn more - about fascinating, well-loved or previously unexplored issues looked at in another way, through a like-minded soul's eyes. And yes, internet friendships can grow into something more, something beautiful and eternal. But. --------- Just as there are different quality neighborhoods, different atmospheres in restaurants, different kinds of radio stations, so too is the internet a vast and varied place where anything can happen. I'm sure you will agree that friendships and love affairs kindled through Aeclectic.net, are not in the same catergory as encounters developed through 1-800-dial-a-hussy. ~ Firemaiden. --- Naturally. People congregate at or frequent places where their interest lies. What you expect can be, but is not always, what you get - you'd be surprised at the skeletons some of the most innocent or respectable-seeming people hide in their dark closets. There are different neighbourhoods and atmospheres in just about any area of life, but a rotten apple or bad penny always turns up somewhere, be it in the swankiest neighbourhood or the lowliest gutter. Conversely, one can also find diamonds in the rough. It can indeed be wonderful when you strike up a friendship that looks as if it will be lasting, or may even blossom into romance. But on the internet, it isn't so much the intricacies of a person's projected personality that counts; rather, what the underlying intent is, which is far easier to conceal on the internet than it is in real life (not to say that it is difficult for a person to conceal it in real life, even...). Lies may or may not be seen through, but I'd say it would also take a fair amount of guessing blindly in the dark and reliance on perception, which is not to say 100% concrete. For example, azuremariposa's partner said at first that he was skinny but later confessed that he was big, which is not all that serious, but what if a person professed to be looking for a special someone, wrapping you up through days and days of tender communication on the net, and then when you meet up he does something horrible to you? A crooked person will never hold up a warning sign saying "Don't trust me, I'll stab you in the back." - it takes awhile for a person to show his/her true colours, and some of them are permanently wearing masks at a masquerade. Personally, I'd say visual and visceral communication is very important for me when getting to know someone. I have met online friends before, and it was startling to see that some of them looked, sounded or behaved in an utterly different manner from the way they projected themselves online, although I did expect it. Jane Austen may be fine between the pages of a novel, but I wouldn't plan my future around it. Like Hudson Gray said, caveat emptor.

firemaiden	15 Apr 2003
I think it all boils down to how well you read.

Ravenswing	15 Apr 2003
[quote]Originally posted by Demonesse [b] Cybersex is for cheap thrills. That's my opinion, but if one gets a kick out of it - heck, that's your business, I don't want to know! ***** << You find an envelope in your box or slot or wherever your mailman slides it. You hold it gently, teary-eyed-- another letter. Another dear letter from him... Trembling slightly, you carefully open the envelope-- you don't wish to tear at the paper inside. You pull the paper out and slowly unfold it. Your eyes slowly go over the words as he speaks to you within your mind: "Awakening from dreams of you I watch the sunrise, the golden dawn There in the east I find the sacred ladder of lights all a-glow.." and it continues as the tears, joyful and bittersweet, run down unheaded. One might also consider this a "cheap thrill" . I'm just not that one.<<< ******************** However, I think sustaining a relationship, especially long distance ones in different states, or even transcontinental ones, has almost no chance of succeeding. ***************** << ****************** I've seen online friends rave lovingly about the perfect person they found through email or chatrooms, even talk of moving halfway across the world to be with the other person, only to break up within a few months. I suppose it must be very difficult when you can't even hear the other person's voice or sit down and have a warm face to face talk...having an image or impression is no substitute during a long, cold, lonely night, I would surmise. *************** << Talk face to face with someone you love. Ask them to tell you all the things that they find make you desireable. Look into their eyes as intensely as you can. Now, as they continue talking, close you eyes.... Do you hear them better suddenly?? Does the sound of the voice, without the visual distractions, suddenly send chills up, down and through your being?? Are you better able to pay attention to what they say-- and, more importantly, actually listen to what they mean ????<<< ************************ But like Kiama said, it can be very dangerous. **************** << ****************** Giving your phone number or personal information through chatrooms with the intention of meeting people whom you haven't been talking to for long is definitely not recommended - it's probably stupid. Even if you've been chatting with the person for months until you feel like you know the person inside out, exercise caution. If you do intend to meet an online friend, meet the person in daylight in a very public place. People lie, online - about physical attributes, financial situations and motives. ****************************** << ***************** One teenage girl here met an online friend for a drink, and was summarily pushed into an alley, brutally beaten and raped. *************************** Many teenage girls (and older women and wives and...) have had their long time significant others brutally beat and rape them. Without the benefit of the drink. I guess LOVE is what you make of it. I happen to like my view. fly well love strong Raven

firemaiden	15 Apr 2003
Right Raven, and as another dear friend of all of ours said, and whom we have also never seen, "a piano might fall out a window and land on your head".

Alex	15 Apr 2003
when I used to go to the church on sundays, I can vividly recall, the priest saying "it is easy to love your friend, but following Christ also requires you to be able to love your enemy". For the ones who are taking the discussion onto the next level, and speaking about hightly spiritual love, it is always good to remind yourselves of that: if you cannot love the ones who annoy, irrititate, challenge you, or otherwise make your confort level less than optimal, then you have not gotten "there" yet. There is love "mediated by" hormones and there is love mediated by "kin selection" (that love you proudly display for your children, brothers and sisters is SO biologically determined that it provokes identical reactions in you, your dog, a honeybee or a bird) ... there is love for your friend who is nice to you... and there is unconditional love for other human beings. The last "kind" of love is much rarer, even though most of us like to think we are highly capable of it. I can't speak for other people, but speaking for myself, I have a long, long way to go. Love Alex.

Butterfly	15 Apr 2003
Researchers from Bath University found that 75% of couples who met on the net are still together after four years. The good old fashioned way could do with that kind of success!

jmd	15 Apr 2003
I must admit that I am responding without first carefully reading all the responses... but a question arises given the very title of this thread: Is there a specific type of 'Online Love', or is it that Love, however it opens, has inumerable ways of manifesting, one of which, nowadays, includes 'online'? Love, if such is the case, is truely a quality which allows one to open oneself to the being of the other - and the 'online' is merely the way in which communication may occur... This, as in other aspects of real life, doesn't prevent one being deluded, assaulted, or conned. These, however, arise from other issues... To Love, and to allow Love to flow, may occur irrespective of the medium of communication...

Alissa	16 Apr 2003
... I am of 2 minds on this. One part of me agrees wholeheartedly with Demonesse. I spent years at another site, a much-larger chat site that accomodated private rooms for every member, allowing and encouraging intimate conversations. Allow me to say, it was an "adult site" as well, which can explain a higher troll/player quotient per capita witnessed. During the time I chatted there, I heard of so many relationships that came (no pun intended) and went, and many a cyber tear was shed by my e-friends. All I heard about was how people lied. Despite months of chatting, emailing, and phone calls, many of the things that were represented online just didn't pan out. And, I've had several friends (not lovers/liasons, no, but perhaps still relevant) online that I've later met in person. Several were so DRASTICALLY different than their cyber personalities that I would never have guessed them to be one and the same entity. AND, I also made sure to meet them all in situations that would not jeopardize my safety -- even though one man flew from Holland to stay with my husband and I, although we had never met face to face. However... The romantic in me quite understands firemaiden's Austen analogy. There is, for many, a willingness to share of themselves through words that can be absolutely fetching and can steal away one's heart. I am a word-lover. I fall in love with the characters in my books, and bawl my head off when a beloved one comes to a tragic end. So it is not inconceivable to me that we form relationships with people based soley on words. In the end, the emotions that someone feels, whether generated via internet or in person, are *always* real. As are the dangers. I am just sorry to see so many who get hurt when dreams are shattered and illusions are born out. The caveat to online love is simple, you're not really there. It's easy to be "perfect" on screen, even when there are no lies told about physical appearances (or one's marital status, as I've also witnessed a lot). A cyber relationship allows for few real life hassles -- the beloved can remain in a static, perfect bubble created by one's imagination and the fantasy can be sustained indefinitely when both parties capitulate (after all, I can always turn off the computer if I don't wanna deal with him/her today). But we can't do that to a real life partner. But, hope springs eternal. There are those who simply wish to connect, wholeheartedly, and in that connection a true and honest love-bond can sometimes occur. Blessings to those who reap those golden rewards ... but remember that all too many do not.

fairyhedgehog	16 Apr 2003
I have no experience of online 'love' but I have met some people from a book forum in real life. It was a very strange experience. The moderator didn't look a bit like I imagined her - which I guess could have been a problem if our relationship had been a romantic one. She sounded much softer - she has a lovely warm voice. And we remain friends, although we are a good three hours drive apart so we hardly ever meet. This is great for a friendship but I can see how you would need to be much more cautious if it was a romantic relationship. I also wonder how much my 'real self' comes across in my posts. If I re-read a post before posting and it seems irrelevant or too angry or whatever I delete it. In real life, that doesn't happen. So I think I come across as nicer and more intelligent on screen than I do in real life but perhaps as less spontaneous. And I'm not even trying to deceive - I'm just trying not to fill up the boards with garbage :) My husband and I started "going out" by letter (although we had met at uni and knew each other vaguely for 6 months or so before that.) So I see how it could work. I just wonder about the whole body language thing with someone you've never even met. Even how someone smells matters when it is a romantic relationship and you can't get that online. Anyway, sorry for rambling, I'm thinking this out as I go along.

firemaiden	16 Apr 2003
...there are those who think you can experience a person's smell without being physically near them... there are those who experience physical sharing through astral travel. Heck, there are even people who believe you can read the truth about a person in tarot cards! Several points to make: a chat site, or dating line in no way ressembles a forum devoted to a topic such as tarot. We all reveal loads and loads about ourselves here, and on so many different levels -- our objective here is not seduction, but learning tarot, spritual growth and sharing. If in the process we learn to love eachother, that is natural, but it wasn't the goal. I fail to see how a chat site could provide a comparable context, especially an adult chat site. Second point: re: masks and personas. What if the online persona is the real one, and the physical presence is the fake? Masks in real life can be deadly: A girlfriend of mine, a fine, brilliant and sensitive woman, married a colleague-- a former drug addict and alchohol abuser, after two years of living together with him in happiness. The day of their wedding however, he reverted abruptly to his former lifestyle, and never was able to recover. She suffered physical, emotional, financial abuse at his hands, and everyother abuse you can imagine until she was able to get the staying orders and other legal help to get him out of her life. At the time of her wedding, she could not fathom for the life of her how this wonderful person became a monster overnight. She showed me his picture, and surprise, what did I see? I saw, that you could see nothing from his picture!! What did that mean? That he was wearing a mask. He was completely false. Never mind the picture, would I have chosen a former drug addict to fall in love with? Sorry, no way. In retrospect, she now sees, there were really no surprises. During their courtship he bent over backwards so far to please her that she never really knew who he was. There were danger signals, that she didn't know how to read. My friend was blind in a certain way, because she grew up with abuse, it was the water she swam in, she couldn't see it. It all comes down to how we read, in real life, or on the net, or on the phone, or by photographs-- or dare I say, in the cards.

Demonesse	16 Apr 2003
In response to Ravenwing (sorry, it is difficult for me to quote your post): ******************** No, I don't think a love letter is a cheap thrill. There is a difference between "Stars of passion glow in your eyes..." and "Hi there. Are you open-minded? Wanna cyber?" When someone approaches me online with the latter, I hit the ignore button because I don't feel like being the object of such 'affections'. I think - and yes, it is my opinion alone, and I am entitled to it just as you are yours - sustaining, not starting, a relationship long-distance is horribly difficult because I have seen for myself the various trials and tribulations that go along with it - the person wonders what the other is doing now, if he/she is seeing anyone else, if the person had a nice day, what he/she is doing when you don't see them online...I have heard too many such sob stories. Perhaps you as an individual may be capable of doing so, but I would say many people in general are not. I didacknowledge it is easy to lie off-line too, but it is far easier for me, for example, to say I am a blonde-haired blue-eyed millionare heiress online than it is off - I can't afford to show up in a Ferrari wearing designer outfits! It is far easier to say many things online because nothing can be concretely proved or disproved. Yes, it's easy to lie offline. It's easier to lie online. All of life is dangerous in varying degrees, and that INCLUDES, not excludes, online 'love', which can be even more dangerous than real-life relationships. It's like walking down a road and skydiving. In either case you may end up dead, but I'd say there's a much higher chance of something going wrong when you're freefalling from a plane. Look up women's groups, or social advosry groups, whatever - I have repeatedly seen them advising one to be extra careful when meeting an online friend because there have been too many cases of rape and murder. Talking face to face with someone I love and THEN closing my eyes is far different from imagining myself talking - not chatting, but actually talking - to someone I have never seen, nor whose voice I have ever heard, whose smile or frown I have ever seen. I do agree that communicating via mail or chat can be an open channel where minds and hearts seem to merge but one must also keep one's feet on the ground - do not expect an angel from heaven in real life, although you might get it. Like I said before, what you expect may or may not be necessarily what you get. Firemaiden: Like I said, people congregate in different places. Online neighbourhoods ARE different. Hypothetically, there would be a far less chance of one meeting a dishonest person here at Aeclectic than at channel #cyberchat, but I wouldn't say with total confidence that everyone at Aeclectic (although I have met many, many wonderful people here), for example, is an honourable person - although we come here to discuss spirituality, the fact remains I may not really know you and you may not really know me. Yes, it helps if you know how to read people well. I do not find it surprising that you could not tell anything about your friend's husband's personality from his picture. I would not be able to tell anything substantial at all about someone's personality just from looking at their picture. One's online persona may well be the real one, but the process of reading someone online is more difficult than reading someone in real life, purely because it is easier to mask yourself online than it is off, even though masks are worn by people in both situations. Love is what you make of it - everyone here is entitled to their opinion. There is no offense meant. Again, online love is possible - almost anything in life is possible. But caution and common sense are essential because what is love to you may not be love to another.

firemaiden	16 Apr 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse I do not find it surprising that you could not tell anything about your friend's husband's personality from his picture. I would not be able to tell anything substantial at all about someone's personality just from looking at their picture. . LOL, I expressed myself very badly... what I meant was, it was very significant that there was a lack of personality in the photo. There was a frozen, death-like pallor, which would have freaked me out. I do belive photos reveal more than one would think, but I have expressed my ideas on reading photos on our photo thread: http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12577&perpage=10&pagenumber=6 For non-subscribers, I quote myself: Quote: I persist in believing that one can see and perceive far more, with far less than one thinks. Just as a person's genetic make up* might be decoded from a strand of hair, if you pay deep attention to a part, sometimes you will sense the whole. [snip] Forgive me for I mystically babble, however, so many nuances and colors come through in people's writing - yes, sometimes the aura, the scent even!! sometimes! a flickering smile, yes - in the tone.... And as for a photograph: if you spend long hours looking deeply into a photograph, you will be amazed at what is revealed. Photographs capture far more than the surface of things. I did the exercise of meditating at great length on old family photographs, which I scanned in then enlarged as far as they could go without blur. It was almost like being able to walk into their lives -- enlarge the details, and look deeply, the sound of a person's voice may emerge, people's thoughts and wishes, and what they try to hide. A photo, a letter, a strand of hair might be just a veil, but it might also be like the shroud of Turin, a veil which carries on it, an indelible impression, which to those who seek to see, will reveal much....

Alissa	16 Apr 2003
Quote: Originally posted by firemaiden Several points to make: a chat site, or dating line in no way ressembles a forum devoted to a topic such as tarot. I fail to see how a chat site could provide a comparable context, especially an adult chat site. Yes, but the question *wasn't* about love at Aeclectic, it was about online love so I feel my point was still relevant. And, I acknowledged the fact that an adult site would logically garner a higher amount of "players".

Ravenswing	17 Apr 2003
Demonesse-- I guess it all depends on what you gotten. Which, I believe, depends on what you are willing and wish to give. I've never had the "wanna cyber-sex?" experience you mention. I fact, I'm not really certain what anyone means by the term.... Could someone please define it for me?? I apologize for my ignorence here.... Perhaps this is because my meetings have not been via chat rooms-- they have all been letters back and forth between and betwixt... ******** from demonesse: Talking face to face with someone I love and THEN closing my eyes is far different from imagining myself talking - not chatting, but actually talking - to someone I have never seen, nor whose voice I have ever heard, whose smile or frown I have ever seen. ********* >>>Herein lies a big difference between you and I. When a true connection has been made (granted, there have only been a few-- but then again, how many TRUE connections do we make, no matter the source...??), I do not imagine, I image. And I have ALWAYS been dead on accurate. >>> *************** from demonesse: I do agree that communicating via mail or chat can be an open channel where minds and hearts seem to merge... *************** >>>Life too is no more than an open channel; it is not exempt from deceit from other parties or delusions from our own part. You use the term "seem to merge" . Do I read you rightly that you do not believe a merging through these channels is possible?? This is one way of interpretating your words... Could you please clarify??>>> ****************** but one must also keep one's feet on the ground - do not expect an angel from heaven in real life, although you might get it. Like I said before, what you expect may or may not be necessarily what you get ******************* >>>I've found the converse to be true in my life... If I DON'T expect it, I'm less likely to encounter the possibility of its manifestation. True, you don't aways get want you want, but you get what you need...>>> This has been quite an enlightening string for me... Viva la difference... fly well Raven

Alissa	17 Apr 2003
I will attempt to tactfully define cyber-sex, a.k.a. "cybering," and bearing in mind that children visit our site here : Through (usually private) chat, 2 people engage in descriptions of various acts of love making, with each manually satisfying their own needs, in response to what is said. It is the online version of phone sex.

The ONLINE LOVE thread was originally posted on 15 Apr 2003 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.