Another's Feelings

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 26 Aug 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Kurai Yuko	26 Aug 2002
There's is a guy in my class that has a weird behavior towards me. Sometimes he's friendly, sometimes he's really cocky and rude...i don't understand what's happening. Is he angry at me? Does he want to tell me something? Or am i just a paranoid? I was thinking about asking my Tarot about the guy's feelings towards me. But i noticed that i don't know any kind of spread to read about another's feelings or another's reasons for acting in a certain way. Does anyone know a spread to my case? A spread to know about another person or something like that. It can be also a tip in how to see that in our common spreads like Celtic Cross and other. Thank you!

Royal Cat	26 Aug 2002
Kurai, A spread is not *Always* neccessary when you have something on your mind that you'd like to consult tarot about. Why not just pull a single card while asking for guidance and/or clarification on your situation? I'm of the opinion that tarot should never be used to "spy" on another person's feelings or situation. Perhaps, by re-wording your question and intentions, you could try a relationship reading and simply ask for guidance on how you are affecting his behavior and vice versa... and if there is anything you can do to bring about a more "comfortable" relationship with him. I hope that made sense and is helpful. :) Cat

Alex	26 Aug 2002
And I must add that a lot of what we perceive to be true about other people's feelings towards us spring from ourselves, rather than from them. I'll give you an example: during my first day in college someone in my class came ask me where I lived and I answered : "Flamengo". Well, "Flamengo" is a low middle-class neighborhood in my home town and I didn't use to feel very proud of living there, so I was relatively embarrassed when I answered her question (oh well, I was 18 then...). However, my "friend-to-be" perceived a tone of pride and desdain in my voice_ she was from a relatively poor neighborhood _ and because of that she avoided me for a whole year. One day she came talk with me, we cleared the misunderstanding and became very good friends. When we read cards for people we perceive things about but don't have a knowledge of that has been communicated to us, it's likely that we are acting on projection and will continue to do so when interpreting the cards. Re-phrasing the question is more likely to rebate the question to whom it should concern: yourself, your feelings for that person and how you perceive that person's reactions to you. My bests Alex.

elisa	27 Aug 2002
Alex and Cat, thanks for your thoughts. I like to read things like this put in words. It is difficult to read about people you are close to or have a strong opinion/feelings about. about the guy: maybe he is snooty. I went to a very snobbish business school, which was full of boys like this. 80% of them acted like the guy in question here. I asked one of them why he would act like my best friend one day, and refuse to acknowledge my existence the next day. He was so focused on himself, that he had no idea he was doing it to me! He was surprised and apologized a lot. So keep us posted, tell how things go with this guy!

Sullanciri2002	27 Aug 2002
the guy's in love with you, but angry at himself for not knowing how to approach you without taking too big a risk at getting told off. Don't do a reading, just hid him over the head with the heaviest deck you've got. Honest - I'm a shrink, I know about these things. (ROFLOL) Sorry, just the mood I'm in today - but give the idea some thought nevertheless: a good slap on the head sometimes helps these hormonally overactive types

Fuzzmello	27 Aug 2002
I agree with Alex. Why not ask about actions you might take to fit the situation? I believe in karma and that sometimes we encounter people with whom we have had bad relationships in the distant past. The conditions of that relationship tend to be still present and potent. From your description, it sounds like both you and the other are feeling fear and tension that have little or no cause. Maybe the cards can give you some idea about how your present actions can resolve this and clear the unseen conflict you feel.

Laurel	27 Aug 2002
Yeah, confront him. Either he's oblivious and not realizing the way he's acting or he's in love with you or there's something he wants to say to you but he lacks the courage. In any event, taking the step of giving him some honest straight forward feedback that you've noticed his weird behavior, want to know why, and most importantly, want it to change, is the best thing you could do. If you want to use the tarot, maybe ask the question as to the best way to initiate this conversation, what approach to take. That can be answered in as little as one card. Laurel

lunalafey	27 Aug 2002
wanting a spread??? I don't really do a 'spread' when I want to know about someone. I just pull 3 or 4 cards about them. focus on this person and do your shuffle cut and draw in what ever manner you do. I tend to think that he likes you too. like a bully that pulls pig-tails... once you have gotten a little bit of insight from the cards. Talk to him. If he does like you and you like him, let him know being a jerk is not the way to impress. If you are not interested....Ignore it completely.

Kurai Yuko	27 Aug 2002
Thanks for all kinds answers. I'm glad to hear your opinion, and i got some really interesting advises...i guess i'll ask my tarot which is the best way to approach the guy and then go and talk to him. Thank you! You're all such nice people! Yuko

Diana	28 Aug 2002
edited

Dark Inquisitor	28 Aug 2002
Dear Yuko, Clearly this guy is saying something, but we don't know what. I would ignore him totally & watch his next move. Observe, do not react. Do not confront him & reveal your thoughts & weaknesses. In the meantime, you can shuffle your deck, concentrating on revealing the meaning of his behavior. Lay out rows of 3 cards each, reading them as you would a kind of sentence.The first row being the most relevant. Keep laying out rows until it makes no sense anymore. A story may emerge. Tarotphelia

Kurai Yuko	28 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Diana Kurai Yuko: I have found it very useful in the past to do the kind of reading you were talking about in your original post. It has certainly helped me in understanding what's going on, before I barge in and make unfortunate mistakes based on misunderstandings. I used to make up my own spreads, but there is one in the Power Tarot that I use now. It goes like this. ....9.... 5..6..7..8 ....4........ ....3........ ....2........ ....1........ 1) How you see the other person 2) How the other person sees you 3) What you need 4) What the other person needs 5) Where the relationship is now 6) Where you would like the relationship to go 7) Where the other person would like it to go 8- Factors to be considered 9) The end result Thank you so much! I'll try this spread, it seems to be really interesting! Besides, it fits on what i want to know :) Thanks again! K.Y.

DarkElectric	28 Aug 2002
Kurai Yuko, I agree with Tarotphelia. Watch him carefully, and see what he does. Guys do this to focus the attention on themselves. You want a guy who pays attention to YOU, not him. Many times guys who play games like this end up being very selfish and demanding. It's always all about them. I don't think a person as sweet as you would want someone like that. This on again off again thing is to get you to thinkand wonder about him. He is the one who should be trying to impress you, by being nice. Not ever rude. That's immature and disrespectful.

The Another's Feelings thread was originally posted on 26 Aug 2002 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.