need the voices of experience

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 27 Feb 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

theredhead	27 Feb 2003
Ok guys i did my first on-line reading, went great, really felt i could "see" the currents of the cards. It was a relationship reading CC so to be clear, i stated out loud, the Self card would be her (the querient), and the Environment would be the he. Then i stated that there would be 2 Hope/fears cards. The first for her, the second for him. I grounded and centered, asked for guidance and wisdom, and focused on the question. Laid the cards. I could clearly see that one person felt one way and the other felt differently. I assumed that because i had stated what card was what for who that i would know, which one felt what. [i am refering to the reading i did for scheherezade] The feedback came, the reading was right on, except, i had the people mixed up. Her cards came up in the second postition (the cards designated for him). So where, how, did i go wrong? Obviously the screw up is mine, but how? The cards spoke accurately. Should i have not designated him and her cards? Just laid out the paths and said, ok one person feels this way and one person sees it like this. I will say i felt that as i interpreted the spread i was missing something, and i surely was, particularly the outcome card of a women alone. That is what i felt, and i did feel i had missed it. I don't know if this post is making any sense, its late, i'm tired, and i have to get up early tomorrow. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

HOLMES	27 Feb 2003
it is possible the tarot was addressing a deeper situation, or issue/change going on for the querent. an example of this is we sometimes project our desires, and fears and image onto the other person. and it is kind of liek that commerical where the person has lots of acne, and he is sayin it is like they don't see the real me. but in this the acne is our own image of the person. so i get the feeling the tarot was revealing the true feelings. it is possible the querent was feeling what the tarot for her self was hinting at,, abliet ( what does that word mean albeit? i see it used her at lot of time sin books ) in a differnt way that was admitted to by the client. yet the othere possiblity is , are you sure you layed down without moving them :O) it happens sometimes i put a card to the side and almost forget it is there, or mess up the pile a bit yet it usually ends up the way it was supposed to be told. then again it is a learning experience, without reading the cards (as you didnt' share the layout no biggie) you may have interprated the cards differnt ,,coming from your feelings and inuition and that is where the current got mixed up :O) but who really knows? all that matters is you did a good reading, learned something possibly ( i always learn something new when i do a reading ) and the client was satisfied and you got good feedback.

Umbrae	27 Feb 2003
Spreads on relationships are the most difficult. They take years of experience (imo). You are not looking at one person. You are not looking at two people. You are looking at three separate entities. Person one, two, and the relationship (which takes on a ‘life of its own’). Use the old Umbrae relationship spread in spreads section. Dry run it until you feel comfortable. Relationships are dangerous…one wrong word and… …poof

HOLMES	27 Feb 2003
where it pertains to one wrong word and proof. the thing is when the one wrong word for the relationship or any endevour is in the cards message? that is the hard part about being a tarot reader when we start getting serious about it and have to carefully gauge our words in a diplomatic setting. i don't mean to give to open ended answers or possiblity (too vague for example) but we as tarot readers have to make sure the future is not set in the client eyes. (hard to do when we are not mind readers), that when we give a reading the client doens't see it as their sentace of life and they have to live. being such a good tarot reader, to push,, but not push too hard, to pull but not pull to hard, to reveal, but in a diplomatic fashion which empowers the individual is only gained in experience. what determines experience ? years ? one could say they studied the tarot and read for years,, but suppose they only read a book and did a reading once a year. of course the subsconscious would be working on the symbology in our subsconscious minds so eventually it will mean something to us yet it will take a lot longer. or suppose a person jumped in, studied, pratice on themselves, or with wisdom readings, before reading for others, then they did their best for quality readings instead of fun. for a year they would know more and be more experience then the person who only dabbled into the tarot for that amount of time. i know given my own experience, when i first got into the tarot i was a deck collector, book collector (why i didn't get 78 degrees and such at the time i will never know eheh) i just got the mystical tarot book and books tarot sets, ( i used the books to explain the decks, and did read those for my favourite decks at the time) but then i put the books away after two years, and just dabbled unless i got an urge to read. it wasnt' until i got to the aeclectic forum and really expanded my horizons, with books, quality tarot decks (for me i got bad taste in decks some say lol) and lots lots of pratice on the reading exhange. i think from here , the thing is not to examine that aspect of the the criss cross current you experience, (as it is yet to be seen if it was constant or not ) but to offer some readings on the reading exchange if you looking for more experience, self readings daily readings, wisdom readings. quality pratice is the key, differnt kind of questions, , explore the tarot on a personal level. looking at your line of missing something,, we all miss something somehow (is anyone readings ever a hundred percent ?) as there are things we can't see yet due to lack of experience, or depth or understanding, or learning, or simply energywise.

Alex	27 Feb 2003
had you read the cards as supposed, I mean, "He" as the column previously designated for "he" and "She" as the column previously designated for "she" you still could get to accurate conclusions. Not the same conclusions, but accurate as well. Do an excercize. Pick a few people you relate with and do a few relationship readings between you and each of them. First, read the columns as previously designated. Then, swap the columns and read it again. After you do it a few times you will understand what I mean. Alex.

theredhead	01 Mar 2003
to all who contributed, thank you. As for swapping the cards, I thought of that to, couldn't tell you at this point. Who was i focusing in my mind? good question, not sure maybe i was focusing more on him than her. I know what i said and intended, maybe i was thinking something else. Or maybe as Alex said (if i understood correctly) i need to just designate lines, and let the cards show themselves. Person A and person B, go from there. *Sigh* maybe i just need a lot more practice, which is ok, i'm willing to put in my dues. Just kinda confused that the cards seem to speak so clearly, but not about who, still scratching my head. And Umbrae i have played with your elationship spread, and it gives me big headaches, literally. I don't know why, but it starts it for me. The spread is difficult for me to read, and i won't even pretend i really have a handle on it, but the headaches definitely get in the way. I don't get them like the first week, but some spreads do just hammer me, haven't tried it in over a week. Umbrae, i love ya buddy, but your spead, it gives me a headache, and i haven't the slightest idea why. Maybe it was just the time, and it will pass. Guess i'm right back where i started, knowing i still need lots of practice. Unless this starts being a chronic problem, guess i don't need to worry. Thanks everyone.

Faerie Lin	01 Mar 2003
This has happened to me once in a relationship spread, where I got the two people mixed up (actually sensed some sort of switched confusion during the reading for a split second, but I didn't take heed on). I think a notice would suffice, stating the people "could" be switched... "usually" the sitter can recognize her/himself in the cards. In my opinion... some people just come through stronger and louder. Something that may also help though, is making a position that really identifies a clear personality trait or clear situation that each may be in at the time (which has NOTHING to do with the subject at hand, just a card to clarify something). So when you look at this card you can say something like "Which one of you just recently got into a fight?" or "Which one of you has the big family? Well that person is for this set." That might help figuring out exactly which set of cards belong to what person.

Cerulean	23 Mar 2003
I have a similar experience..I didn't think I gave a very good reading once when I pulled cards for a relationship reading. I realized that I was only able to tell the querent's inner reflection of an outer situation. The querent realized that a formerly very warm beginning was getting a lukewarm response...in other words, vague and slipping away reactions. My only ability was to pull what underlined the querent's feeling and confirm that the formerly hoped for possibility was actually a dying hope. New things were on the querent's plate, but somehow I didn't have any indications contrary to the querent's take on the situation. In other words, I somehow can mirror, reflect, suggest, but I am not able to find new or startling. I realize others are very very good at different or unusual news or creative readings...but it may be my capability.

The need the voices of experience thread was originally posted on 27 Feb 2003 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.