My freind needs help.

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 24 May 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Menmay	24 May 2003
I hope Im posting this in the rigth forum but here goes. Ive always felt that I have a gift when it comes to reading tarot. Ive helped loved ones and freinds with my gift. Just last night my best freind poured her heart out to me and said she was so tired of being afaird of getting into a relationship. Shes been single for three years and for a good reason... she was abused by her last boyfriend. That realtionship lasted five years and she finally left her home to move to an other state. Since then she has hated men. She gets so mad at herself for being so cold to guys. I always tell her that she should not put herself down it will take time to recover from her past. She also told me that she has been having day dreams of him tracking her down and killing her. She asked me what it meant and I had no clue. Still She misses the compainiship of someone and it hurts her even more when she sees me and my fiance. She also is to scared because shes afarid she will really hurt someone. I knew that she wanted to ask me to do a reading for her but she said nothing. Even if she did ask me I fear what the cards may say..and that has never happened to me. Do I feel like this because I love my freind so much. Or is it god telling me that she is to do this on her own!??! What should I do!!! Thanks everyone Menmay ^_^

Menmay	24 May 2003
I just wanted to say thank you all again for at least reading this forum..Im at school at the moment. So it will be awhile till I read what you all have to say ^_^

Noubaguy	24 May 2003
Im sorry to hear about your friend. I cant imagine how she must feel. I understand how you would feel "scared" of what the cards would say. And I think it IS the fact she is your friend, and you two are close. I mean as tarot readers we have the responsibility to interpret the cards, and at times the message can be "scary". And I dont think anyone wants to give their close friend bad news. But now you have to see it in another way: What if the cards carry the message that she needs to aid her worries? Menmay, you have a very difficult decision to make. You have to think this through very carefully. Personally, I think you should wait until she asks you DIRECTLY for a reading. Why? When she asks for it, it will be because she is READY to hear the message. Thats just my opinion. Think it through, give it a little time, and just let your intuition guide you. Whatever you choose to do, will be the RIGHT choice ;)

Alex	24 May 2003
for professional help. The fact that she remained in an abusive relationship for 5 years is a good indicator that she is likely to have a past history of childhood abuse. People who were raised the right way and have a good deal of self-esteem do not tolerate long-term abuse and do not suffer from post-traumatic stress for as long, as it seems to be the case with your friend. Colleges usually have low-fee counseling. Some have support groups for victims of abusive relationships. Your friend will not get well on her own, AND she is likely to find herself another abusive man in the future and blame it on fate. If you use the cards to tell her that, it's a very good way to use the cards. But be weary of saying anything else to her. She needs professional help, and she needs it right now. Alex.

Astraea	24 May 2003
I think that the kindest thing you can do for your friend is to point her in the direction of professional counseling, as Alex suggests. Your love and support will be helpful to her, but her most urgent need now is therapy. Best wishes to you both.

HudsonGray	25 May 2003
I agree too. She's clearly beyond tackling this on her own with good results, she's swinging wildly into 'danger' in regards to men. A professional has the training to get her through whatever the problems are and can offer her options she may not have thought of yet. They're trained for this sort of thing. I think trying to read for her would be difficult when she's in this particular stage. Definately a therapist or councelor.

Belladonna	25 May 2003
Maybe you could talk to her about the High Priestess card as a way of introducing the wisdom of seeking the help of a professional.

NeXoRiouS	26 May 2003
There's nothing wrong in not getting into a relationship but fear of getting into a relationship is a major problem. Living in fear would only be detrimental and if prolonged, the effect will only make one lose self-confidence and even the ability to pick up themselves. Worse off, she might just take her own life. Counselling would be prioritized but if she's still unable to help herself, divert her attention from relationships by introducing new hobbies and even volunteering work would be a good remedy. Make a big change in her life as living in fear is more of a permanent stage than a temporary one. Change her entire lifestyle as in dressing, places that you and her hang out together and many more. As for her case, tarot cards won't be too big of a help as she still has to rely on herself to accept the advice and make the change all by herself.

The My freind needs help. thread was originally posted on 24 May 2003 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.