Entering the cards-The Moon

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 10 Sep 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Mimers	10 Sep 2003
Wow, this is really exciting! I got together with Firemaiden last night and we had a wonderful evening together! We shared so much and really wanted to share some of it with everyone, as it was so enlightening to us. Firemaiden really encouraged me to share some of my card meditations with you. I shared with her last night my 'journey' into the Moon card. These meditations are very personal, so it is not intended to give anyone 'the meaning' of the card. Just an example of how your own readings can come to you. After I described this to Firemaiden, she did a reading for me using her Crystal Tarot. It was amazing. Anyway, here is my journey, straight from my Tarot Journal, word for word: 8/24 Moon Meditation I started off with just a simple meditation just to relax and clear my mind. Preparing to do a reading with questions on meaning of life, why am I here, etc... inspired by Mary Greer's book Tarot Mirrors. After relaxing and counting down my breaths, I ended up walking down my country road. At this point I knew I was going to end up going down deep into myself to address my dark side(s) or shadows. I veered off onto my path toward the stream and there stopped to cleanse myself with water and say a prayer. I affirmed that no matter what I saw, I would still love myself. As always, I asked God to show me what needed to be seen to help me along my path. I walked through my flower canapied tunnel/stairway with confidence. As I went down, I realized that all my 'secret' places were different levels of myself. When I entered my country road, I was just below the surface. Just relaxed, but still aware of my physical self. The path and stream are my 'entryway' and 'preparation room' to my inner self. The first level is my beautifulgarden surrounded by my lake. This represents the part of me I want to see. The part of me I like and approve of. It is where I go for healing. The second level is my 'tarot' level. where all my tarot friends reside. It is where I go for answers. My problem with trying to do past life regressions is that door I was looking for on this level. It is acctually much deeper. So for the first time I went down another level. No more sunshine. Just glowing moonlight and darkness. I saw the towers. My first inclination was to walk through the 2 towers from the outside, but this did not feel right. I was inside the the realm of the towers and they were my self imposed limitations. I reminded myself that underneath all these shadows was the 'real me' and there was nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. The pool was thick and dark like the charchol they gave Joe to absorb all the toxins in his body. I knew I had to step into it. I asked it what were the things I most needed to address and ego and selfishness kept coming up. I asked what else and got the same response. EGO AND SELFISHNESS. I went into the muddy pool. The lobster kept peeking out, but I did not feel he represented my deep shadows. He was really therre to try and scare me away from facing my shadows. It was the part of me saying, 'don't do this, you cant handle this. Everything will be fine if you just go away". So, I ignored it and it went back under. As I walked into the thick, muddy water, I saw scenes from past lives and 'karma' kept popping up. I saw the young black girl I once was. Physically and emotionally abused by her father (Joey!). I felt bitterness, hatred and blame. Not taking responsability for my own choices. I ended up killing him. This man that I loved and hated so much. I saw myself as some kind of invader (Spanish inquisition?) killing children and then their mothers with no remorse. I tried even as I saw this to feel remorse, but I couldn't. I was full of greed and self-righteousness. They were just mere objects in the way of what I wanted. Greed, I felt greed. I knew it was time to look at this life. The one I am in now. I saw myself as a child lying to get what I wanted. Purposefully doing things or playing things up (including the death of my Father) to get pity and attention. I saw myuself stealing things from my friend's room because I wanted them. I felt it wasn't fair that she had them and not me. All the times I got mad at my children because they invaded my space or my time. My born again Christian days when I was so self rightgeous and judgemental. I realized that when I started looking at this life my face had just come above the black water. I had been underneath the whole time. Well, that is basically it. I described it to Firemaiden last night and she did a reading for me where we got some amazing answers from the cards. The reading was very interactive. She has the notes we took, and also be posting that part. Just as I side note, I went and did a reading after this meditation. I just kept asking questions and pulling one card. I would replace it and then ask another question. I pulled the Tower 3 times! Mimers

Dark_angel	10 Sep 2003
What an amazing meditation! You're so brave to be able to explore yourself so deeply, and then to share what you found! I'm filled with respect for you - I don't think I could have done any of that. Maybe the Tower shows that this will be the life when things end up alright, and now that you've confronted these things, you'll overcome them. Interesting that they appeared as towers in your meditation and the card shows the destruction of the towers. Seems very positive! Thank you so much for sharing that with us. xxx

firemaiden	10 Sep 2003
... and the reading! --Mimers' dive into the black pool of the moon

HudsonGray	10 Sep 2003
It sounds like you've reached the stage where you're not afraid to look at things inside you at all, no matter how deep. Usually this lets a person heal or fix things. I'm glad you didn't back away from the pool or come out too quick!

Mimers	10 Sep 2003
Thanks, it was actually something that took me a long time. I am 37 yrs old and I am just starting to really face these things. It's all about wanting to be a better person. It really isn't that bad once you tell yourself that every one of us has a side to us that we don't like to face. We all also have the side that is more easy to face. What I always had a hard time really learning is that both put together make a very beautiful me! I really like who I am. Good and bad. Once you do this it is so liberating. I am glad Firemaiden talked me into posting this. Mimers

The Entering the cards-The Moon thread was originally posted on 10 Sep 2003 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.