reading phobia!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 29 Mar 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

inanna_tarot	29 Mar 2004
Hey all! Ive put this problem of mine to a few TABI members, but i thought i'd let all your AT folk to help me out (as your all so nice and helpful!) I love tarot reading but im going EEK in my head - because i have a strange reluctance to read for myself. Sure i can do the daily readings etc, but reading for my own questions seems really scary. Maybe im just being superstitious etc. i just get an off feeling of asking a question i really want to know the answer to. I know that tarot is nothing to fear, and what appears is only the outcome at the present moment, giving you control to change it, but, it still seems odd. This clouds my mind abit when thinking of questions, because i dont think what i want to find out, more, what do i not mind finding the answers too. lol. Reading for other people doesnt seem as daunting as reading the cards to my own serious questions! Am i the only one? Any help or exercises to help me get over my phobia? Thanks everyone! Sezo x

contrascarpe	29 Mar 2004
You're not the only one. I NEVER read for myself, not even daily readings (unless you count pulling a single card a day). At first it was because I was perhaps afraid of what I would find out, but most likely now it is a combination of being lazy and also not open-minded enough to accurately decipher my readings. Besides, I find it more fun to do it for other people. Just reading for others will usually give me insight into my own life as well. Dan

HudsonGray	29 Mar 2004
I wouldn't force it. If you have qualms about doing a reading for yourself, you're not ready to hear the answers the cards give you. AND you can't stay remote from the deck as you're doing the shuffling (ego comes too far forward). So read for others, read for the pets, read anything else, but wait on the personal stuff till it feels right for you. I think everyone goes through this phase one way or another, they either can't, won't, or get 'doom and gloom' readings every time. You'll get past it at some point & then have no trouble at all. Just remember to not ask any question you really don't want to hear the answer to.

mj07	29 Mar 2004
I'm afraid to read for other people! Frequently I look at the cards and they just don't make any sense to me at all! scary!

Alissa	29 Mar 2004
Reading for yourself is tricky because all too often when I read for myself I have a tendency to see what I may wish to see. However, having said that, I believe learning to read for yourself is really an essential step in Tarot. What lies at the root of your fear? Fear of seeing what you don't want to see? Good news if you do... then you know of it, and you can enact any changes you may wish. :)

Thirteen	29 Mar 2004
Count me as yet another who never reads for themselves, not even daily cards. I read for myself while learning, but after starting to read for others--well, I became kinda phobic and superstitious about it also. If that's the way you feel, that's the way you feel and it's probably for the best. There's enough folk here willing to read for others in the reading exchange; let someone else tell you what you need to hear ;) no need to stress yourself out about it.

LadyMedusa	29 Mar 2004
I bet you didn't know how many of us there are who are iffy or even downright uncomfortable reading for ones self. I too have the problem of seeing only what I want to see in most readings. What I have found very helpful is when I pose my question, is rather than asking a specific question, I ask for alternate information to consider. I ask something along the lines of "What additional advice should I consider about... or What are some alternatives to consider about..." . I find if I specify I am looking for what I don't already know (want) it helps me to be more objective. LadyMedusa

ros	29 Mar 2004
I find reading for myself is like talking to myself & having to listen at the same times. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I find it draining. Also reading for other people I find a lot of my own answers that I need. We need to take our own advise a lot of the time. It's easier to hear it from someone other than ourselves to verify our thoughts.

Thea Lynx	29 Mar 2004
Hi Inanna, I got into the habit of reading for myself early on - in the first class I took, we did a spread immediately. I had been afraid, when I first started studying Tarot, that the cards would not speak to me, not in the insightful way others seem to have - but I was dead wrong. Then, when I had my first professional reading, the cards spoke up even deeper. I realized then that I had to take the plunge and just trust the Tarot - it has never let me down. I even did a little (as if) test of faith one day and did the same spread with the same question two days in a row - amazingly, different cards came up, but the message and direction were the same as the first spread. I can not imagine NOT reading for myself. Now that I have gotten a little bit of study under my belt, I was part of a class that did a general reading for the year 2004 (for ourselves), then a calendar spread reading on New Years Day, a Reaching the Goal Spread on my birthday (in January) and a start of the month spread each month. For that one I try to use a spread particular to the book written to accompany the deck I am using at the time. If my deck has no particular book, I try to go with one of the spreads I have done a few times and am familiar with. I also keep a log of every card I pull for myself - its amazing to see the trend of the cards that come up most often - and those that don't come up at all. Thea

Imagemaker	29 Mar 2004
I have no problem or qualms reading for myself, but I don't ask questions I can't handle the answers to. What I don't ask is reading about my daughter beyond the lightest of questions--I learned through several crisis situations that I can handle anything but injury/risk for her. So I don't give myself that anxiety.

inanna_tarot	30 Mar 2004
Ohh yey! Im not the only one then who has a phobia! lol I am quite shocked that there are a few of us (and probably a few more because people didnt see/reply to this thread). I dont feel such an idiot now! Course, now that i've admitted to being weird about reading for myself i'm going to nudge myself along to actually get over it!! Well, maybe. Its easter break next week so i'll have some time to have a ponder or 4! Thanks folks, and those who are like me keep adding to the list! Lets show all them self-reading folk what we are made off :P Sezo (on a buzz from 3 cups of tea so early in the day) x

Star Spirit	30 Mar 2004
Bah, I know what you mean! At first I only read for myself, but ever since I started reading for other people, I rarely read for myself! I rarely even get readings from other people. If I really feel I need one then I'll do it--since there's usually only one main issue in my life right now that causes me the most stress and need for answers. But it does feel daunting reading for myself, because I remember how biased I have been in the past and not fully understood the cards, and I fear that I may do it again even when I try not to. The last thing I want is to give myself the wrong message! It's like where I used to work. I worked with a cash register, and was a cashier for people most of the day. I was great at it! But then I'd stand behind the counter and go to buy something for myself and suddenly--uh oh--what was the correct change again? I'm confused!! It's like with my own money and having to give myself the change instead of another person, my mind has a momentary lapse of judgement. So it's not just tarot :| I'm not sure what it is, maybe something psychological that I should get looked at haha...

firemaiden	30 Mar 2004
It's got to be different reading for yourself, than for another. You know yourself... you're not playing a guessing game with someone -- one of the ways I enjoy interacting with the deck for myself is to have a "conversation" with it. As in, I say something - not necessarily a question - could be a statement, then I turn over a card - and that is Mr. Tarot entity's reaction -- Here's an example, right now: FM: "Hello, Mr. T (Tarot Entity), I think I really need more sleep" (I turn over Ace of Wands Rx) Mr. T: Yup.... FM: But how can I get more sleep? (I turn over 7 of wands rx) Mr. T: er... how 'bout, learn to relax? etc. Enjoy :)

Phoenix Rising	30 Mar 2004
No I don't like reading for myself either, as it's very hard to get a clear answer because I only read what I want to see. It's more fun hearing from others. I think too it's a good thing not to read for ourselves as it takes away our own decision making for our own lives.

genna	30 Mar 2004
I´m suffering from the same reading-for-myself-phobia,and my readings about it have warned me from multiple card readings for myself,but one card a day is alright. When I need readings for myself,I consult the Faeries´Oracle,or go to a professional reader of Tarot cards.This began last fall,and I accept that now isn´t a good time to read for myself.

mj07	30 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by firemaiden It's got to be different reading for yourself, than for another. You know yourself... you're not playing a guessing game with someone -- one of the ways I enjoy interacting with the deck for myself is to have a "conversation" with it. As in, I say something - not necessarily a question - could be a statement, then I turn over a card - and that is Mr. Tarot entity's reaction -- Here's an example, right now: FM: "Hello, Mr. T (Tarot Entity), I think I really need more sleep" (I turn over Ace of Wands Rx) Mr. T: Yup.... FM: But how can I get more sleep? (I turn over 7 of wands rx) Mr. T: er... how 'bout, learn to relax? etc. Enjoy :) Oooh!!! I think that's an EXCELLENT suggestion, firemaiden! I think I'll try that!

Imagemaker	30 Mar 2004
I have these conversations with the cards, too. Great fun sometimes, really serious other times--and speaking out loud is a good way for me to hear things I didn't expect. Good thing "normal" people don't see us hunched over the cards muttering, laughing, and arguing with the cards. No wonder tarotists get reputations for being crazy. (certifiable, I'm sure)

inanna_tarot	30 Mar 2004
LOL!! I think i will have to try out the Mr T. method *tries not to think about Mr T from the A Team.. de de de do do do boom de de de..* sorry! Love and Light Sezo x

jmd	31 Mar 2004
Calling it a phobia gives it a particularly strong name... Reading for oneself can at times seem more difficult. One suggestion, which may help some and not others, is to carefully phrase a question as an issue for which there are no definite answers, but rather various routes by which to consider differing views - a little like friends having different views, and pointing out what may be the consequence of various considerations. Perhaps, also, it may help to phrase the issues in broad general terms - such as 'what are some of the things I may be not looking at in terms of my studies ?', or 'what are different ways by which to view the changes occuring at work?' Here, though the reading is for oneself, it may certainly shift the focus as to how one narrates what one sees in the cards.

Free	01 Apr 2004
I find that when I do a reading for myself the cards are very confusing to me, sometimes at first they don't even seem to relate to my question at all and i have to really think about the meanings and feelings I pick up. Maybe its because I am emotionally involved I can't see the true meanings. I find it much easier to do readings for others but sometimes I wish the cards would just be straight with me!! :D

magpie9	11 Apr 2004
I've gone through periods where I couldn't read for myself because I wanted the outcome to be a certain way, very badly. It was like pushing water, trying to make it what I wanted...and of course, it didn't work. My decks would get impatient with me, as if I was a whining child and slap me with a 10 swords or other card so disastrious that I would stop and put the deck away. :D Ir made me look at how and what I was doing and expecting, and I learned not to read for myself if I REALLY REALLY wanted things to come out in a certain way. I learned to phrase questions differently, more of a "What If" approach. This has worked for me for a long time now, and when I read for myself anymore, it is mostly for problem solving. The really huge emotional stuff I get someone else to read for me. It works better for me. ;) ...and I too have those running conversations with my decks...it's amazing how clearly they speak that way.

September Pixie	16 Apr 2004
I read for myself at times.. but I often find myself thinking.. "I already knew that..." so it doesn't really help me any :) I find it much more useful when someone else does because I can focus on things without being bias :)

mercenary30	16 Apr 2004
I have done it a few times.......and they were all accurate. BUT I don't make it a habit, I am not overly comfortable with it. Which is kind of funny considering I don't have any problem breaking out the cards for someone else........

bluediva	18 Apr 2004
I have only recently come to terms with how reading for myself pans out. Only recently have I accepted the differences between reading for self and others. When reading for others, it usually feels like there are some specific suggestions to convey to the querent. But when reading for myself, I just don't get that. I had to let go of my expectations. Reading for myself is foggy, and full of second-guessing. So let it be that. First, I only read for myself with my significant other sitting next to me, so I have some one to talk aloud to. Second, I differentiate between actual readings and simple study of the Tarot. I study and contemplate cards regularly, but read for myself every few months. And when I do a reading for myself, I keep my notes in my back pocket for a week or so afterwards, and contemplate them whenever I get a moment. The "reading" part unfolds over several days or weeks. Since adopting this view, I've felt much more relaxed about self-reading. IMHO, Tarot is forever a process of learning and enrichment, and however you stay in that process is OK, whether reading for yourself or others. If an approach brings you much frustration, change your approach for awhile. Then revisit it later. How often do you feel like telling a querent that they are asking the wrong sort of question? Perhaps we all do this to one extent or another. Just my humble thoughts. I am enjoying this thread of discussion. Thanks to everyone for contributing!

WolfSpirit	21 Apr 2004
I often do readings for myself, but then I don't always use tarot for big issues - sometimes I ask simple questions as: what would be the best way to spend the evening ? should i spend my money on buying X ? etc. But I know some people don't like to use tarot this way. I also use it for important things, I like to include a card like: what do I not see about this matter ? what is under the surface ? This normally clarifies a lot for myself. After all, the cards are there to help me see what I can not see with my own eyes (or mind).

The reading phobia! thread was originally posted on 29 Mar 2004 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.