What does the Lovers card reversed mean?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 08 Mar 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Mystic Chris	08 Mar 2004
Hello! I was wondering if you can tell me what the meaning of the Lovers card reversed would be? Thank you in advance and have a great day!

yve	08 Mar 2004
Depending on the context of the question/situation/that the card refers to, it can mean: -experiencing a moral lapse -broken relationship ties -failed/disappointed love/relationship -faced with difficult moral choices -obsession with sex -someone who is not settled -does not have good family/moral values -struggling with tempation -someone who plays the field These are just some of my interpretations on this particular card (card meanings are subjective and flexible), i'm sure that there will be many more you get for other forum members...as you do readings/spreads and make your queries to the cards more specific, it will be easier to narrow down card meanings to apply to the situation/question you are applying the card to...

Mystic Chris	08 Mar 2004
I ask the question because a friend had done a three card spread for me. The spread consisted of the following: VIII of Cups (reversed) IX of Pentacles The Lovers (reversed) I have an idea what the first two cards might mean in my situation. That is, my ex-boyfriend, who about a month ago broke up with me, is now willing to start the relationship again. For the two and a half years we've been together, we would have this break-up and reconcile tango. You may notice that a similar post was put up, but the Lovers card reversed was not addressed, which is why I bring it up again. Thank you again!

yve	08 Mar 2004
Well the 8 cups reversed is telling you that you need to let go of a situation that no longer works for you. You are stuck in a past situation that is pulling you down and preventing you from moving on. You need to move on for things to improve The 9 pentacles...I think by letting go of the past and moving on you will be in a position to find inner peace. You don't need to be in a relationship right now to find harmony and fulfillment. You have to start to rely on yourself and follow your talents and abilities. Many opportunities may present themselves at this time and you need to be open to make the best of them, and to be open you have to make sure your head and heart are free and open to be receptive to the good opportunities to come. Lovers reversed...You are missing out on new opportunities because of being stuck in the past relationship....this card says that perhaps you've been stuck in a less than functional relationship for a while now. Perhaps your significant other has difficulty settling and making a commitment. This relationship has obviously been a strain on you and it certainly indicates the disappointments and frustrations you have experienced...

lunalafey	08 Mar 2004
Yve got the most of it- one thing about this- 9 of pent. The card's traditional image is that of a woman- her accomplishments are her own and no-one elses. This is a card of stored potential. The 8C says let go and walk away- for this is un-needed now. to stay would only cause more sorrow- and not neccissarily sorrow over your ex. The lovers reversed may indicate the 'missing out' but also the potential to not be able to let it go. Lovers reversed might suggest that one is too taken by the thought of love...but these relations may not be what is hoped for or intended- it's being in love with the idea of being in love- but not really having a true bonded partnership in love.

Astraea	08 Mar 2004
In the context of this reading, I think that the reversed Lovers might mean betrayal of self (represented by the IX of Pentacles). It simultaneously seems to point to a prior betrayal on your boyfriend's part.

Thirteen	08 Mar 2004
8/Cups is indeed usually about letting go--but in this case the reversed 8/Cups indicates that you haven't let go of your ex or the romance you had. As you said, you never ended it--he did. This spread is pretty clear. 8/Cups RX--hanging onto a relationship that should have been walked away from, well, again and again, from what you say. But certainly, left behind finally and absolutely a month ago. 9/Pent--currently, you're alone and doing well. The month alone has given you time to reflect, to find yourself--what you, alone, like and want and need. It's been nice having no one else there to consider, to be able to indulge just yourself without wondering, "Will he also go for it? Will I have to argue with him to get it?". Lovers RX--Your ex is seeking to "reverse" the choice that was made yet again--as you say, a break-up and reconsile tango. That sounds like reversed lovers to me. The Lovers is about finding your "other half"--the person who completes you. Not finding someone, as in the RX card, who keeps driving you away--or leaving you. Given how well you seem to be doing on your own (9/pent) I'd think long and hard before stepping back into this dance. The cards don't seem to think it's a good idea.

mysticalowl	08 Mar 2004
In this particular reading, it seems to me that the cards are telling you that you are unsure of what to do. However, based on the other cards in the reading...I would think twice before even considering going back into this relationship. You are probably better off alone at the moment or with someone else. Hope this helps. :) mysticalowl

Kath	08 Mar 2004
Just throwing in my to cents 8 of Cups R - I’ll echo the others in saying that you need to let go and walk away. Turn your back and keep going. The journey may be long and difficult (RWS - the mountain in the distance), but you have to take that first step, which you are reluctant to do. 9 of Pents - I love this card. I often think it refers to personal power, the ability to do it yourself, without having to rely on others. You can go it alone, you just need to believe you can. In the RWS the lady is holding a bird of prey, which can refer to your own base instincts, possibly self preservation. You need to be tough, perhaps a little ruthless, but you need to put yourself first. Lovers R - Corrupted love affair. It’s ‘love’ that is turning your world upside down, for all the wrong reasons. Perhaps it was once a wonderful relationship, but not any more. I feel that the Lovers card is linked to the Devil, and when it comes up reversed, I can’t help but think of aspects of the Devil, in terms of bondage and misery. This relationship is not healthy, the bonds that you had/have are not healthy.

Mystic Chris	09 Mar 2004
Thank you to everyone who had replied to my question. Your information is valuable.

dolphingirl	11 Mar 2004
when I do a reading for myself if the lovers reversed comes up I find that I am not making the choices that I should and instead of making a choice and moving on I am hummmm how to say this "sitting on the pot." I guess it the best way I can think of to day it. I am not moving on and making my moce but wasting time and energy staying where I am :) Samantha

firemaiden	17 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Mystic Chris I was wondering if you can tell me what the meaning of the Lovers card reversed would be? The woman on top.

thanatos	17 Mar 2004
The Lovers Upright: Love, harmony, trust, honor, the beginning of a romance, optimism, a meaningful relationship/affair Reverse: Unreliability, separation, frustration in love, fickleness, untrustworthy (coppied from http://www.themysticeye.com/info/tarotcardm.htm ) the lovers reversed relevant meaning is dependant on the other cards in the spread

Mystic Chris	17 Mar 2004
Like your response firemaiden - "the woman [is] on top." LOL Against all your advice, I try again with my ex only to have him break my heart again. I am so tired of this tango. I go online to get a reading (I am thinking of creating a new thread about the reliability of online readings) at MysticGames.com, where I have gone to many times before and have felt the readings are right on most of the time. It is interesting that I get the Lovers card again, but this time it is upright. Here are the other cards in the reading (Path Spread): Personal relationships scope = VI of Swords What I have been thinking = II of Cups What I have been feeling = V of Swords How I present myself = X of Pentacles How I should conduct myself = V of Wands [suggestions concerning emotional attitude = The Lovers Card] Suggestions on how to proceed = X of Swords Have a wonderful day and thank you again for your replies. :)

Kath	17 Mar 2004
Against all your advice, I try again with my ex only to have him break my heart again. I am so tired of this tango. Then leave! If you say you hate what he is doing, then don’t let him do it anymore! By taking him back time and again your actions are telling him that it’s ok for him to mistreat you. He knows that he can get away with it, because you let him. I am sorry if I come across as cold and heartless, I don’t mean to. But I get so frustrated when I see women who allow men to treat them like crap, when they have the power to stop it. Tarot helps show us cycles, patterns of behaviour. If we can identify destructive patterns, then we can break them. You are being presented with your pattern, you KNOW where this cycle will lead, and you have the power within you to change that, to stop it and say ‘Enough. No more.’ If you’re sick of this tango, then step away. You don’t need tarot cards to tell you that. I know it’s hard, I know you think you love him, you don’t want to hurt him and you want to make it work, but if it’s causing you more sorrow than happiness, you need to stop and ask yourself how long you are going to take it. Draw a line in the sand and say ‘this is where it will end. This is the point at which I walk away’. It’s time to think of yourself, YOUR needs, YOUR wants and YOUR feelings. Personal relationships scope = VI of Swords This card depicts a man sailing away, maybe it’s time for you to do that. Move away from the situation, find solitude and peace. Swords are the suit of the intellect. Time to let your head rule your heart. What I have been thinking = II of Cups You want a happy relationship, a partnership, a connection. Who doesn’t? What I have been feeling = V of Swords Betrayed, hurt, defeated. How I present myself = X of Pentacles You are presenting yourself as the perfect foundation for ‘happy families’. You will be the corner stone, the dependable one, the Rock of Gibraltar. How I should conduct myself = V of Wands In Hungry they have an expression ‘ne hagy magad’. Literally translated it means ‘don’t let yourself’. But its real meaning is don’t allow yourself to be pushed around, treated bad, or abused. The V of wands talks of conflict; wands are fire, passion, energy. Don’t shy away from conflict. Even if it seems petty, or messed up, even if you’re feeling ‘scattered’ and unfocussed, or you just ‘can’t be bothered’. Don’t let yourself. [suggestions concerning emotional attitude = The Lovers Card] Make a choice. It’s time to make a choice and make it stick. The lovers doesn’t only refer to partnerships, in the Marseilles deck it depicts a man choosing between two women - one virtuous and pure, the other exciting, but not the kind you’d take home to mother. Make a choice. Suggestions on how to proceed = X of Swords Don’t!

Mystic Chris	19 Mar 2004
Thank you Kath and everyone for your concern and insight into the spreads I have posted.

The What does the Lovers card reversed mean? thread was originally posted on 08 Mar 2004 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.