Pre-conceived reading ideas

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 28 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Pook	28 Apr 2004
? #1.... Last night, I did a reading for a friend with the focus being her relationship with her boyfriend. I have known this person for a very long time and can pretty much read her, so after listening to her concerns I was already expecting certain cards to appear, and was not dissapointed. My question is, do my expectations make the reading invalid, or does it only serve to validate them. (Also, I was told the reading was a pretty accurate picture of the situation.) ? #2.... Should I not do readings for someone if I have pre-conceived ideas of how it will turn out?

yve	28 Apr 2004
I think that is what intuition is all about...and personally, feel that such intuitions (expectations as you call them) only validate the reading, and the feedback you got seems to confirm this.

contrascarpe	28 Apr 2004
Personally, I have a difficult time doing a reading for people I know too well, but am learning. I did a reading for a cousin a few months back. She lost both her parents in an automobile accident (they were my aunt and uncle) at the same time and still has not recovered, even though time has passed. As I was seriously studying Tarot, I told my Mom that I knew the five of cups would come up in a reading for this cousin if I ever did one - the old "looking at the negative and ignoring the positive" interpretation - standard RWS fair. Well, I did the reading and the key card was indeed the five of cups. That is the beauty of tarot - it never fails to astound. Dan

Mojo	29 Apr 2004
Actually, that's called empathy. I think most readers try to suppress it because they feel like its cheating. But if you avoided readings where either you or the querent already expected the answer to be this or that, you wouldn't do any readings. I think just about everyone goes into a Tarot reading (and this includes the reader) already wanting to hear a certain answer. So it's a little bit of intuition and a little bit of empathy thrown together with a few other skills which turns it into a reading.

Astra	29 Apr 2004
The real problem with preconceptions is that they can blind you to NEW information that may be available. I think that if you find yourself in this situation, you might want to try a question that's on the order of "what am I missing in this situation that might help it to resolve", or simply "what don't I know about this?". Otherwise, although your reading may be accurate, it may not contain what the querent needs to work through the situation.

closrapexa	29 Apr 2004
As we learn Tarot we learn to "pick up"on many things that were hidden from us until now. Sometimes we can see people trying to look happy and although they fooled us in the past, we can see that they are falling apart inside, Stuff like that. So if we expect to see certain cards in a reading, then truly that is our intuition and foresight. Granted, reading for close people may be affected by the we we see them, then we must try to overcome our biases and se beyond them.

Suriel	01 May 2004
i don't think that's a problem.... i'm still not very good at tarot, so i normally do readings only for my friends, close friends.... because that i know them well, so i can choose the closest answers for their question... and after they receive the sult of the reading, they''re shocked, for everything suits them...! hehe.......actually it's a good thing, when everyone sees you as a great fortune teller!(in fact you just manage to choose answers for them).........haha...:D

Hihepux	01 May 2004
So long as your not changing what the cards actually say to convince them to see eye to eye with you then its not cheating. I dont like looking at Tarot readings as much as trying to read the future as more of translating someones destiny and giving them advise to prepare for what lies ahead. If you know someone well then you will be able to give advise that other people couldnt give. Just remeber, avoid deteriming the results ahead of time. Its okay to speculate just don't decide their fate.

hedgecub	01 May 2004
I think Lswern highlighted a problem I often have when I read for people I know. I tend to fall into the trap of interpreting the cards based on what I already know about them and their situation, which means I'm not as open to other interpretations or flashes of insight that might actually be more helpful. One of these days I'll get up the courage to read for strangers again :)

Nycelle	03 May 2004
I am wary of reading for a friend, because they will take my advice more seriously than a stranger will. I don't plan to read for friends unless I am extremely well versed and can explain that this is not my personal opinion.

Shalott	07 May 2004
I have noticed what Closrapexa said...I feel like the Collective Unconscious (or whatever power Tarot!) and I are hearing each other better since I've come back to Tarot... BUT I wonder if the cards appeared BECAUSE you expected them? I think the bottom line is neither you nor the cards were wrong. I think psychology plays a BIG role in reading, so I have problem with what you did, MoondreameR. And I think reading for ourselves and ppl we know well are the best ways to hone our skills, so we can see best how to apply the cards. I'm struggling with the idea of reading for strangers - the safety net would be gone!

Phoenix Rising	07 May 2004
Hi Shalott I'm finding it easier to do readings online over this forum. because it gives us time to think about what we're reading. In person we seem to miss out alot of the other details, because we're rushed. Confidence comes into play really with reading for strangers. Nice to meet you anyway.

The Pre-conceived reading ideas thread was originally posted on 28 Apr 2004 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.