Explaining negative readings

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 16 Jun 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Esther	16 Jun 2004
I apologize if there's already a topic about this, but I haven't seen one. I've recently started to read for other people, namely a couple of long distance friends that I met over the internet. They ask me to do a reading, and I'll do it and then report back to them on it the next day. The two readings I did for one friend had some cards that could be seen as being very negative. I had a hard time figuring out how to explain the cards to her, because I know she's been under a lot of stress and I don't want to cause her any undue worries or stress. I remedied it by trying to explain the card in as positive light as I could, and by exploring how the cards might not be as negative as they may seem. This one book I have says that it's best not to give people overly negative interpretations, since the future isn't set in stone, and there's always the possibility of being wrong, and because it's just not good to upset people. And I can understand this. But at the same time, I think that Tarot readings aren't as helpful if the reader is being less then truthful. I know most of you have more experience then I do, and I know many of you read professionally, so I was hoping for your input. Thanks.

Rhiannon	16 Jun 2004
The only advice I have is to view the "negative" cards, and explain them, as a opportunity for learning. All negative experiences in our lives are learning experiences IMO. Don't sugar-coat it too much, "in to every life a little rain must fall". Tell what you see, but I can understand trying to be gentle. Ask yourself and your querent questions about it. Example: 3 of Swords in the future position. You might ask "Is there a relationship that might be having some problems? Are you feeling depressed about something?" Things like that. It could be that a lover, parent, sibling, child or even a pet might fit the bill as the relationship for this card. Don't overlook any possibility, even if that possibility doesn't seem to fit the question. Our experiences cross over into every aspect of our lives, and tarot can point that out to us. So, for example, even if you don't think that your dog dying has put a strain on your romantic relationship, look again! I ramble too much. :P My point was that even though the 3 of Swords could be seen as negative in the instance I've suggested above, there is also something to be learned, and the impact can be lessened or even prevented depending upon the actions that your querent takes after the reading. Good luck! R :)

miss_apples	16 Jun 2004
Rhiannon gave good advice, present the negatives as learning opprotunities or as something that is ultimatly neccesary for the querent to actually get ahead in their situation. Also you may want to look at the other cards leading up to the negative card to see what caused the negative situation in the first place so your querent can think about how they can change the negative situation. Also remind the querent that negative events are temporary.

Thirteen	16 Jun 2004
I think that the main problem with "negative" cards is that Tarot (fortune telling) carries with it a sense of fatalism. People ask for readings to learn about a future they think is entirely out of their hands. Their assumption is: "I'm going to hear about a future where I win the lottery!" or "I'm going to learn that I'm about to meet the man/woman of my dreams!" See? Things they don't control, things which drop into their lap. Often, things they don't want to work for, too. Like, "I'm going to get that job I really want...even though I've no experience." This taints how they think of negative cards. As with positive cards, they assume the negative is inevitable. The Tower means there's going to be an earthquake, Death means someone is going to die. And there's nothing they can do about it except be afraid. This is where finesse and diplomacy come in. It's very easy to *scare* people with tarot readings. So, the first thing you need to do is look at the cards and find a way to explain to the person that they can CHANGE things. That they have some measure of control and power. That what the spread is saying isn't inevitable. You need to assure them, for example, that 5/pentacles doesn't mean financial ruin, it doesn't mean they're going to lose their home and be out on the streets. But it does mean that lean times are around the corner. And it's a DARN GOOD THING the cards are there to warn the querent about this so they can prepare, and NOT lose their home. So. Time to be frugal. Likewise, if the cards say they're not going to get that job they're after, they can either cry about it or start sending out more resumes. In short, you need to make it seem like the cards are not offering dire warnings, predictions of a negative future, but rather that they are offering the querent advanced warning. If it's something like the 5/swords, you can say, "you'll lose the argument." And now they can change tactics--not argue, or get someone else to argue the point. If it's something they can't change, like an earthquake, then they can stock up on bottled water and make sure the earthquake insurance is paid up. Don't lie about the negative stuff, but do make very sure the querent understands: they're being shown this so they can avoid the worst of it. So they can DO something about it or, at least, make the best of it, survive it and come through it strong and well. In addition, you can ask the cards for advice on the best way to handle these things. Eventually, however, it's their future and it's in their hands. And there's nothing you can do about that except to hope that they listened to you and that they learned something from the cards.

closrapexa	17 Jun 2004
There has been some very good advice here, and I can only say that the cards may show us a negative past, present or future, but they can also show us what should have been, what should or could be happening or what could happen. negative cards in the past where your querent says that the past was rosy, could show that the querent should have been preparing himself for whatever. Negative cards in the present may mean that the querent should focus on that particular subject. Negative cards in the future are for me a kind of weather report, something to be prepared for.

cartarum	24 Jun 2004
then theres the old adage; "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all" or you can lie. ~A~

dolphingirl	30 Jun 2004
Your post made me think of a book I just recently read called Legend of the Jade Dragon by Yasmine Galenorn, it is the second book in her series (Tarot is used in both of them). In the Jade Dragon she does a reading where she getts all the "bad cards" and she isn't sure what to say and basicly gives him advice such as "don't go on any long trips" no Bungee jumping and things like that which I thought was a great way to handle a reading with "negative" cards. Tarot readings are not set in stone but are able to be changes. Sometimes just doing a reading in and of itself will change an outcome. If i get a reading where things are looking bleak iinstead of going into how bleak things look I try to go into ways to minimize the affects of what I see. Samantha

The Explaining negative readings thread was originally posted on 16 Jun 2004 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.