Avoiding Manipulating a Reading
Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 16 Feb 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.
| Red Kite |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
I have noticed that when I do a reading for someone I know, I am in danger of hanging meanings on aspects of my 'guinea pig's' life that I think I know about.....and don't. How do you avoid this pitfall?
|
| tarotbear |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
This is the reason I love to read for total strangers - I have no preconceived ideas about the reading.
As you say, you can try to second-guess a reading for someone you know, and that can be detrimental for both of you. When you find yourself in this predicament, you may have to take a good step backwards from the reading and tell yourself to not 'overread' the cards.
You may even have to tell your friend ' I know that this is an issue for you, but I keep seeing X in the cards because I am aware of the situation as a friend. The cards can also mean this or this. Am I reading into the cards too far?' In this way your friend can clarify what you think you are seeing.
It's a pitfall, and we are all guilty of doing it sometimes.
|
| Phoenix Rising |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
I find this all the time especially if I'm reading for friends or family, and it's difficult to get out of it. I have to remind myself to just read the cards! And when I've got a preconceived idea, the reading goes along the same line, and it can actually be something else.
But doing it for total strangers is so much more easier. So how do we get out of this, I'm not sure, as i'm still doing it! but will make a more conscious effort to just read the cards!
|
| Fulgour |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
I have noticed that when I do a reading for someone I know, I am in danger of hanging meanings on aspects of my 'guinea pig's' life that I think I know about.....and don't. How do you avoid this pitfall? As the Reader, why see this as a problem, let alone a pitfall?
You have all the elements there before you right at the start.
1. The Cards
2. You, the Reader
3. Your Friend
4. Their Question
The bonding energies may be more powerful, but that is good.
Let the words come, guided by the cards, just as you feel them.
Forget doubts about dangers and projected fears about pitfalls.
What you are creating is a beautiful experience, based on trust.
|
| Moongold |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
That was most beautifully put, Fulgour.
Sometimes readings can be enhanced by that deeper knowledge. I think it does ultimately boil down to trust:
* Trust in the Tarot
* Trust in the process
* Trust in yourself
|
| contrascarpe |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
I must confess this has been a problem for me in the past. I will even take it a step further:
When a Seeker comes to me and starts giving me information, I find it clouds my reading. I fight so hard NOT to incorporate this knowledge into my reading and I find myself trying to run circles around it. To me it is a real problem and my worst readings are usually for people I know too well, or for people who feed me info.
This is why every reading I do for a stranger, even if I ask them if they have something they want to know, I pull three cards first just to get started. Usually this accomplishes two things - it begins a trust with the Seeker that I can see things without being prompted, and it allows me to start the reading on my terms, without prejudice to the situation.
Dan
|
| TemperanceAngel |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
This is the reason I love to read for total strangers - I have no preconceived ideas about the reading.
Same here tarotbear, I much prefer not to read for people I know and when I do we make it a 'fun thing' as opposed to the big reading thing!
I peronally, don't like seeing relationship difficulties for friends...ouch! Health issues with families....not my fave either, the list goes on....
Red Kite it's great to write down a friends reading in your journal and go back to it after a period of time and see what makes sense to you then :) Your friends will learn a lot from that as well.
Remember too, it's about fun and try not to take things too seriously :D Enjoy!
|
| TemperanceAngel |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
When a Seeker comes to me and starts giving me information, I find it clouds my reading. I fight so hard NOT to incorporate this knowledge into my reading and I find myself trying to run circles around it. To me it is a real problem and my worst readings are usually for people I know too well, or for people who feed me info.
Dan we were obviously posting at the same time! I agree with you as well about getting information to begin with...I have learnt over the years of reading in person that some people just want someone to talk to and sometimes it just happens that I sit there and listen :)
|
| contrascarpe |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
Dan we were obviously posting at the same time! I agree with you as well about getting information to begin with...I have learnt over the years of reading in person that some people just want someone to talk to and sometimes it just happens that I sit there and listen :)
Yes, TA, I experience this as well. In fact, I learned this during my first day on the job - sometimes they come to us as a therapist. On the upside, we are less expensive than an actual therapist, but on the downside, we are not as qualified. I ALMOST went into psychology as a profession, which is probably why I am so drawn to doing this, but it is sooooooo dangerous to be put into this position sometimes (but I still love it, hehe).
Dan
|
| Nevada |
16 Feb 2005 |
|
This is a tough one, and especially with people you know. There's a limit to how much or how little I like to know in a reading. I like a question that gives me a direction, rather than being asked to do a general reading. But I also don't want to know too much. I want the direction, not the map.
With friends and family it's not always possible to read objectively. Especially if it's a question you also have a lot of emotional stake in. When that's the case, maybe it's better to have someone else read for them, who isn't so close. If that's possible. Otherwise distance yourself from the question and outcome as well as possible.
The fact that you're aware of the problem is a good start.
Nevada
|
| Red Kite |
17 Feb 2005 |
|
This was my first 'proper' reading (committed everything to paper). One where my stepson asked the question, shuffled the cards, then drove home (250 miles away). The reading to follow by snail mail. His question was 'should I relocate my life and career?' He's currently living with his mother.
The reading was a powerful one and showed him at a crossroads, in a strong position to objectively survey his situation. He is probably at the least complicated time of his life (just passed a degree, got a job, no mortgage, no family, just broken up with long term girlfriend). The world is his oyster.
I realized, whilst doing it, how far I'd come in my 3 months of tarot, and above all, how important the wording and phrasing of my reading needed to be. and It was a good lesson which prompted me to ask you for your take on it.
Given my position in all this you will understand how I came to put my question to you. I had to stay on the fence with this one, and it was all too easy to get off it!
Thank you for all your input. It's so great to know that you guys are willing to put your comments into the pot! ...... and soooooooo helpful.
|
The Avoiding Manipulating a Reading thread was originally posted on 16 Feb 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.
|
