The High Priestess as a final outcome

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 03 Mar 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Bosorka	03 Mar 2005
Hi you all! Once again I need your help, as I quite donīt underestand my cards. For a quite long time in readings about my relationship with my boyfriend as a final outcome the High Priestess came up. It doesnīt matter what kind of spread I use, sheīs always there. If not exactly in final outcome, on some place in spread I see her. I guess that Iīm still missing something, as she keeps to appear. Perhaps it would be usefull for you to know that my boyfriend is not so happy about my cards as heīs christian and strictly believes that tarot is not what the Bible wants from us. Thanks a lot. Bosorka

huredriel	03 Mar 2005
Hi Bosorka, Just a very quick thought (I'm supposed to be working :D), if she keeps coming up, maybe you're not listing to your inner intuition or not wanting to follow the path you know you should take? I guess it also really depends on the surrounding cards and the question you have asked. Anyway, just an idea. x Huredriel

Bosorka	03 Mar 2005
Hi Huredriel! Thanks so much for quick answer! I donīt know, usually I pull cards for us when me or him doesnīt feel comfortable. As itīs a issue Iīm emotially involved, I consult it with my sister. We both agreed that cards are suggesting that this relationship needs more care and patience, but it has chance to be a nice and satisfying one. Sometimes is the High Priestiess as an alternative choice...(?)

Fudugazi	03 Mar 2005
It sounds like you need some time out - maybe to review the relationship. Is this guy for you if these are his opinions? How important are the cards for you? Are your boyfriend's opinions liely to change. Can you live with them in the long term. The HP is asking you to ask some fundamental questions. The HP can be a call for solitude and internal work so you can hear what is happening. It is also a warning that you will be waiting and going slow, so patience is needed. Edited to add: It could also be a suggestion you keep your cards for yourself for the time being - don't share them with your boyfriend, but don't tell him you've given up either. Just let it lie while you do the reviewing and listening suggested above.

huredriel	03 Mar 2005
Hmm, well I'm afraid I'm new to Tarot, so you'll probably get lots more in-depth thoughts than mine. I always see the High Priestess as a woman of mystery, she keeps her thoughts to herself, only showing to people what they actually need to know at the time. A person of great intuition and knowledge, and also very caring and compassionate. I think it's a great card to have and usually view it as a positive when I get it. Patience sounds good, she could be counselling you to bide your time, think things through and not go rushing in head first. Hadn't thought of patience before, so thank you :), another new thought for me.

huredriel	03 Mar 2005
Hee hee, Helvetica posted just as I was typing that about others more in-depth thoughts. I love synchronicity :)

Eco74	03 Mar 2005
I'll go out on a limb here and ask what you think you would do with the cards if you and your boyfriend get serious and decide to start a life together. - Would you insist on keeping them out or would you put them away "to keep the peace" and not have to listen to the complaints? The High Priestess is sometimes about hidden knowledge found or explored in the dark in light of the moon and stars (out of the light so to speak), but she also holds "The Book" (christian term for the Bible) so it could be either way. Maybe she is trying to get your attention so you will do something about the "brewing conflict" instead of leaving it be. (If that is what you are doing.) Is your boyfriend open to your explanations at all or is he just unwilling to listen? After all, if you can respect his beliefs, he should be willing to respect yours in return. The High Priestess in herself is in many ways the "anti-thesis" of Christ in that she is female, connected to the moon and the 'darker realms' and holds the hidden knowledge for those that seek her out instead of prophesising and spreading her faith actively. Not that she is in any way evil, she just works in very different ways than the God we are told of in the Bible. But these are just musings on the High Priestess herself, and the other cards should also be taken into account as Huredriel pointed out.

Bosorka	03 Mar 2005
Thanks you all, especially Eco 74. You made me think more about my cards and boyfriend. We donīt talk about cards, but he knows that time to time I still do read cards - and heīs not happy about it. I do read cards not so much as I used to, and Iīm not so very happy about it. I tried to explain it to him, but anytime when is my reading just, he doesnīt want to know... :(

Thirteen	03 Mar 2005
Bosorka wrote: You made me think more about my cards and boyfriend. We donīt talk about cards, but he knows that time to time I still do read cards - and heīs not happy about it. I do read cards not so much as I used to, and Iīm not so very happy about it. I tried to explain it to him, but anytime when is my reading just, he doesnīt want to know... :( I think that makes the HPS pretty clear. The HPS is the card that, in a tarot deck, is most likely to stand for the tarot reader, and that's you. I think the card, as suggested, is telling you that it's time to really think about who you are and what you want. When you're around your boyfriend, you're confused and conflicted--he has influence on you like gravity, he makes you doubt yourself, and makes you want to please him. So step away. Be alone with the cards and such, and decide what it is you REALLY want. What are you? What do you want to be? What do you want to do? What do you want, really want, in a partner? Not in a boyfriend--I mean a partner who you're going to spend your LIFE with. Because in the end, you have to be brave and make it clear to yourself and to him. You can: 1)BE the tarot reader without shame, without secrecy, without conflict. In which case, you must say to him, "This is what I am. If you can't accept it, then we shouldn't be together." 2) You can surrender the cards and your position as Tarot reader. If being with him is the most important thing of all, then you'll have to surrender the cards, because, from what you're telling us, he isn't going to ever be able to accept your tarot card reading. You might well ask, "Can't I just do readings in secret?"--sure. But that makes the readings something to be ashamed of, something your boyfriend can hold over you--he doesn't approve of it, and so you have to do it in the dark as if it was shameful. This keeps him as the superior one, the holy one, and you as the lowly, unholy one. Trust me--if you do it in secret, you will do it less and less until one day, you don't do it at all. Is that what you want? We all give up things we love for those we love. We bend, we compromise. But in the end, we can't compromise who we really are, what makes us "us." What makes us happy. You can't pretend to be what you're not. And neither can he. So it's time for YOU to make the two of you come out of the closet, out of the secrecy--to tell the deeper, intuitive truth about yourselves. Who you are, who you want to be, and what you expect in a partner--not who you have to pretend to be in order to be with each other.

Bosorka	04 Mar 2005
Thank you, Thirteen. Your words maybe wasnīt what I wanted to hear, but thatīs one of reasons why I do read cards. I find them pretty cruel - for theyīre telling truth without any sugar coating right into your eyes. (especially mine ;) ) It will be quite hard to go through this, for I love boths, cards and him. Anyway, I think itīs about time to find out. Thank you all once more. Bosorka

huredriel	04 Mar 2005
Wishing you the best of luck Bosorka

Eco74	04 Mar 2005
Whatever happens I wish (and trust) that you find the best path possible. Just remember that it's not just tarot and your boyfriend this is about. It's about You and your boyfriend, meaning All of you, every side there is to who you are and who you want to be. As kind and wise as the High Priestess is, she does not back off when she's serious about something - and this does seem to be a serious situation.. All the best to you Bosorka.

Phoenix Rising	04 Mar 2005
Thirteen once again your wisdom is so profound, and I totally agree with you. Bosorka, it's not really about choosing between your boyfriend or your tarot cards! The point is, if you can't express or be who and what you are in the first stages of your relationship, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. But if you want to be that 'obey your husband' type of woman, then go ahead, read in the dark! in the closet, you'll lose yourself, because you're not being true to you. I think that's why high Priestess is coming up, you're in search of your truth, although I think you might still go and discretely hide, just to keep the peace. The High Priestess is also a woman who is alone, and unobtainable!

Bosorka	04 Mar 2005
I hope that I wonīt need to give up boyfriend or cards. I donīt want to read secretely at all, and also I love to read to people who trust my readings. It will be enough for me (for now) if he will know that Iīm reading, but I wonīt do it in front of him. His quiet agreement is good for me, but sometimes I just want to tell him that my reading was accurate. And thatīs what makes him to frown (?).

Fudugazi	04 Mar 2005
Thirteen wrote: We all give up things we love for those we love. We bend, we compromise. But in the end, we can't compromise who we really are, what makes us "us." What makes us happy. You can't pretend to be what you're not. And neither can he. So it's time for YOU to make the two of you come out of the closet, out of the secrecy--to tell the deeper, intuitive truth about yourselves. Who you are, who you want to be, and what you expect in a partner--not who you have to pretend to be in order to be with each other. Well said! And Bosorka, this means you have to decide just how much a part of you Tarot is. I know that for my part there are a few things about myself that I could never give up for a man, no matter how much I loved him: my writing, my Tarot and I-ching, my family, my two languages, my love of having friends around me from all walks of life, my desire for children. I think the High Priestess is giving you that signal - and also asking you to take the space and time to decide away from the pressure of your boyfriend and your feelings for him - to put your feelings on hold long enough to find out what tarot means to YOU, with or without him. Then you have to stick by who you are. If you do not, the relationship would have no long-term future in any case. Once you know for sure what you want, then you can initiate that discussion with your boyfriend - a heart-to-heart as Thirteen suggested, from the standpoint that both respect what the other is fundamentally. After all, if you were an atheist and wanted your boyfriend to give up his religion for you, would he? I wish you wisdom and send you lots of warm vibes :)

Thirteen	04 Mar 2005
Everyone else emphasized what I should have emphasized--it's not between your boyfriend and the tarot cards--it's whether you can be YOU and be with your boyfriend. Basorka wrote: sometimes I just want to tell him that my reading was accurate. And thatīs what makes him to frown We can't always share everything with those we love, and that's all right. We may even disapprove of some things our loved one does or likes. A guy might be into boxing, and his girlfriend might disapprove of it because it's violent. So he watches it when she's not around and they just don't discuss it. Even if the boyfriend doesn't just watch boxing, but is a sports writer who covers boxing matches, the relationship can work. It means he can't SHARE an essential part of himself with her. But some husbands and wives don't share much more than a house, and while this may seem sad to us, they make it work--so long as the husband and wife respect each others' differences. And that's where the real problem is here. The girlfriend has to RESPECT what her boyfriend is and does. She doesn't have to like boxing, but she can't look at her boyfriend and feel he's "evil" for being passionate about boxing. She can't want to change that about him, because that is who he is. The question is, does your boyfriend RESPECT who you are? If tarot is something you can't surrender withot surrendering a part of yourself, then this is who you are. If he thinks it evil, then he thinks YOU are evil. And that's not right. You might as well tell him you think he's evil for reading the Bible. You wouldn't do that because, whether you understand his religious passion or not, you respect him and who he is, and that passion is a part of him. Yes?

Silaria	07 Mar 2005
Bosorka wrote: I love to read to people who trust my readings. It will be enough for me (for now) if he will know that Iīm reading, but I wonīt do it in front of him. Bosorka, you've received a LOT of wonderful advice, but something in your last statement really set off alarm bells for me - your use of for now. Yes, reading for others and not doing it in front of your boyfriend is good "for now", but what about 5, 10, even 20 years from now should the two of you marry? For now's can easily change into points of resentment further down the road; especially as we grow and mature. It's one thing to respect your boyfriend's wishes, but - as others have asked you to think about - does he respect you and your wishes. Does he respect the parts of you that make you a unique individual? I don't doubt that you love your boyfriend. Unfortunately, though, love tends to cloud our vision and make us think that things can/will change in the future. The advice you've received to step away and focus on YOU and what YOU really want in a life partner is sound. Everything needs to be considered from how they view the spending/saving of money to children and the philosophies around rasing them (if applicable), to relligious belief, to any number of small details that at this moment seem very small but over time can cause serious damage to a relationship. Taking the time to determine what you want and need in a relationship is vital to having a strong and well balanced relationship. An unbalanced relationship in which 1 person does all the "giving" and "compromising" gets old very disheartening. I wish you all the best in this time of discovery. I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend.

Joyful	07 Mar 2005
I have just left a husband because he didn't respect who I am, where I am going and the path I am on. I felt like I was being suffocated. I put up with it for 10 years before I could stand it no longer and had to get out before I lost my identity altogether. I am now far happier and have just done a tarot spread for myself and the High Priestess came up for me in the Challenges/Opportunities place so I am hoping that's a good omen for me, being very new to this. I wish you all the best and please be true to yourself, you may not physically die but your spirit does. With love Joy

Bosorka	08 Mar 2005
I know that I wonīt to decide right now and maybe the High Priestess will pop up some more time, but you gave me so much ideas to think about! I hope that I can keep my cards with this boy, as before we started to date he had nothing against them, and he is quite satisfied when Iīm doing situation spreads. But only time will show. (I'm maping situation right now, hoping that hes understanding of cards is slowly changing... ;)) Thank you once more, Bosorka

Hazel	20 Mar 2005
I think that sometimes the High Priestess shows up just to say "be still." I once had a dream in which the High Priestess was looking at me and doing the "be silent" hand gesture with her index finger in front of her lips.

earth en lady	21 Mar 2005
Hiya my first post! I was reading through and the priestess used to come up a lot for my Catholic husband,I even wondered if he was gay for a while (no offense meant ) My husband however is a deeply sensitive man although it is very difficult to see as he has been taught to hide this part of his personality ,now as time has moved on my husband accepts my beliefs and is coming round to a more liberal viewpoint.Maybe you should consider it as a fear of your boyfriends and try to gently explain your beliefs,if this man is for you he will become more open over time,this may be a difficult path and only you know the depth of your connection sending you blessings

Nuovena	21 Mar 2005
The High Priestess represents mystery herself. All religions and beliefs of any type are each a mystery of their own. Perhaps if you ask the High Priestess what you can do to open up your boyfriend to her gifts and the gift of Tarot, and likewise, be open minded to his beliefs... the mystery will be solved? My belief is that so long as a person is a good person, their religion or beliefs in their particular God or Goddess serves his or her purpose. He may practice his beliefs in more traditional ways, however it doesn't discount anyone elses? There's something beautiful and good to be found in all religions, imho. Blessings your way,

The The High Priestess as a final outcome thread was originally posted on 03 Mar 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.