Bored with questions and querents

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 21 Apr 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Mesara	21 Apr 2005
Ive HAD IT!!! If I hear the same "does he love me?" or "when am I going to get married?" or some other mundane repetitive thoughtless question one more time Im gonna... Well, what can one do except bend over and take it one more time and pretend that we like it? I mean, we are there to serve them, our clients, not the other way around, right? It's just that Im getting so BORED of answering the same questions over and over and over again. Different faces, same questions. * By thoughtless I don't mean it like "How dare they???" but more like it seems people shy away from putting some real thought behind the questions they ask, as if they feel silly about asking about their spiritual path or their relationship with their dad or whatever. And many seem not to know that there are more dynamics to a relationship than the yes/no. Now, I know there is more lurking beneath the surface with these people. I can sense it. I want to delve deep into their psyche and pull out their real fears, their real aspirations. I want to explore their foundations and their formative years, see what makes them who they are and what drives their actions, their choices. I often try to sneak some real meaning into these otherwise meaningless* questions, but am often met with a blank stare or even resentment, like "what is she talking about, I just want to know if Jack wil ever ask me out.." *By meaningless I don't mean to imply that these questions aren't real or don't have meaning to the querent. Of course they do! But I use the term meaningless to ascribe to the fact that despite all the dynamics and experiences and relationships these people have floating around them all they can ever ask about is some guy they met last week at the bar. I know their lives have more meaning than this! I know that their whole life does not hinge on the ever hoped for invitation to dinner by so and so, so why can't they? I have one friend who does ask good, thought provoking questions, and I think Im scaring him by clinging to his shirt when he leaves. "Please don't go! I love your questions! No one asks questions like you do! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR QUESTIONS! HOW CAN YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!" RANT RANT RANT. I know, and Im sorry. It's late. But, I would like to hear some of the more interesting questions you guys have been asked. Also, maybe some helpful hints on how to tactfully and discreetly steer querents into asking what you want them to ask? }) That would be ethical, right?

Fudugazi	21 Apr 2005
I know exactly what you mean! It's so depressing. But there are some thoughtful people out there that ask good questions (good all round I mean) - including love questions. I would not put all romantic love questions in the same basket, given it makes up a significant portion of our lives (and according to some, make the world go round). Recently someone asked me about moving forwards in her life - a choice question, really: she was with a man, had been for over a year, but things had been going badly because he owns a bar and was never around, or else only with huge numbers of friends, and was not really committing. She had broken it off a few months before, and after two months he came to her and said he was ready, after all, he'd sell the bar and would she move in with him, because he loves her, he doesn't want to lose her. She's crazy about him, but she wanted to know whether it was wise to move in with him, would he make good his promise to sell the bar, and what were the dynamics of the relationship that made it work or not. Her role, his role, etc. It was an interesting read. I've had people ask me about how to bring more fun in their lives; some asking for a holistic check-up "body mind spirit"; I had a question about the emotional dynamics of moving house. Of course I've had questions about finding love! (I ask some of those questions myself...) but not all end up in the blank stare if I venture to suggest the cards are showing some unhealed hurt they might want to attend to. I've had questions about attending college. My niece asked me a question about getting a little dog; and my nephew wanted to know if his little girlfriend (they are both 8!) who has gone back to live in Japan still loves him and will they see each other again: of course, when the querent is 8 years old it puts on a different colouring to the whole "will we get back together" question! But there are ways of turning even a banal question into one that will be more useful for the querent - with his/her permission. And ways of framing readings that are not more intense than a given querent can take. E.g. instead of saying, for instance, that her Dad's leaving the family when she was 6 has jaundiced her entire view on men and until she deals with it in therapy she'll keep on meeting men that leave like her Dad, just do justify her view, you can say - there are some hidden currents from your past that prevent you from reaching your full love potential - or some such dressy up sentence (adapt language to querent). You can use the actual image on the card, which often speaks far better than words.

Elven	21 Apr 2005
Hi Mesara, yes, It does happen and it seems to come in waves. The people who are attracted to you to read for them all have the same question. I had that with business questions once. It went on for about 3 months. I did learn alot about reading for business and career clients all in a single swoop though. There were some interesting combinations that kept cropping up during these readings. I kept with it though, it actually - after I got over the initial boredom - made me more aware. There was one lady though who I couldn't seem to make a descision without a tarot reading. It got to the point where I asked her to get a second opinion - someone else to share the readings. She was wearing me out and distressing me with repeditive questions. Each week they were the same. I stopped reading for her and asked her to see me in 6 months to give herself time to allow her readings to evolve. She agreed. Then two weeks later she sent her husband to ask the questions for her!!! (LOL) The thing is, the yes/no answer tarot reading is all over in 3 minutes, it gives very little substance. I think most people give more time to their reading when they've left the reader. They ponder, they think, they see things in a different light. What you've told them really matters to them. What you hand over in 20 minutes can last them from a minute to a life time. I dont think you give yourself enough credit for what you actually do for them. Its important to them and to you. Encourage some more questions about themselves or their present love - get them to talk about their past situation a bit more. Maybe their future hopes and dreams. They'll take it all away with them and think about it. And hey - you must be the expert on reading relationships at the moment.(LOL)!!!!! There's always the knowing that: 'This too will change'. Dont pull your hair out just yet - what would we do without those boring questions? Blessings Elven x

Baby Owl	21 Apr 2005
My theory is that people ask certain questions because that's what they want to know. They want to know the future (or think they do!) They want to know if so-and-so likes or loves them, or if their mean ex-husband is going to stop acting the way he does. As I mentioned in another thread, I once provided what I thought was an insightful reading for someone. His response was, "If I wanted to be analyzed, I'd go to a shrink. Now please do a Tarot reading and answer my question." You may be able to educate these folks and get them to delve into themselves a little, but then again, maybe not. They see Tarot as a fortune-telling method and that is what attracts them in the first place. Otherwise, they would not even approach a Tarot reader.

ncefafn	21 Apr 2005
I'd like to ask how people handle the question I get asked a lot in online readings: "Is he/she cheating on me?" I'm especially interested in how you respond when it's a face-to-face reading. This fortunately has not happened to me . . . yet. But I'm dreading the day when it eventually does. In an online reading, I feel like I have more wiggle room to turn it around a bit. Because in my opinion, this is the way I feel the question/questioner breaks down: 35% - If you feel that strongly about it that you come to a complete stranger for an answer, you already know the answer 35% - You are the one who really wants out of the relationship, but if your partner is cheating on you, then you don't have to be the bad guy when you break up 30% - Some other aspect of your life has just been shaken to the core (job loss, death of a close relative), and you're afraid everything else in your life is equally shaky and want reassurance. Of course, I never convey any of this to the querent, but that's what's going through my head. Another problem with this question is, that partner isn't there, so even if you tried to do a reading based on the question as asked, you're likely only to be picking up the hopes/fears of the querent, rather than what the partner is doing. So how do you readers handle that? Kim

Fulgour	21 Apr 2005
My count for free readings done for the very unique ATA Networks is just over 1700 now, so I've noticed some of the more frequent themes in the questions. And probably in all of that I've had only a dozen or so "insincere" requests, with maybe 30 "unethical" medical questions...the ones you just can't handle. People have their own kind of "code" that they use when it comes to asking Tarot questions, and I call it "wish talk" because it comes from a secret desire. I always try to remember that I have my own spirit, and that it has brought me to each of my moments where I face the questions, alone with my motives. Giving back something to what the Tarot has offered me is like sharing a beautiful gift, and it humbles me.

firemaiden	21 Apr 2005
This is a fascinating discussion. Is that really truly all they want to know ? if some guy they met in a bar last week is interested? Oh boy...that sounds like a teenager question ... does so and so like me, and who likes whom, and who hates whom... LOL. Well, I figure part of the tarot reader's challenge is to figure out what the real question behind the question is. I might start with "why does it matter?" But if they say they'd go to a shrink if they wanted to be analysed, just answer the question... well, I might answer, sorry: we don't do yes or no questions. Perhaps we can rephrase the question to "how can I attract love into my life" If a gal, lets call her Ermine, asked me to do a reading to find out if the guy (Ethelbert) she met in a bar last week was interested, I'd start thinking, and I'd begin to wonder aloud if Ermine were actually hoping Ethelbert were someone who could enter her life badabing badaboom and change it over night. What is she really hoping for? to be extricated from her present circumstances? Is she looking for a "deus ex machina" (the God outside of the machine) to bring a happy ending to an otherwise sordid story? Did she perhaps think the guy in the bar was some kind of traveling angel in the guise of a man with a magical touch to turn water into wine? Then I'd start to wonder what it is exactly she'd like to be saved from. Nothing, Firemaiden, just answer the question. Does he like me? I suppose there might be a sort of underlying assumption - that if the traveling angel in guise of a man "liked" her enough from one sighting, he might pursue, marry her, then change her life forever. What is it about your life, you'd like to change, Ermine? Would you like a better job? more education? more money? these are all things you can do for yourself, but you might have to stop hanging out in bars. Hey, Firemaiden, just answer the question. Does he like me? Sorry Ermine, sweetie, he doesn't know you from Adam.

Gwynne	21 Apr 2005
It's questions like that which caused me to quit doing phone work for awhile! That's was all I got! "When's he coming back..." etc... gets annoying after awhile... Which is of course better than the "Who's my baby's daddy?" questions.... aaarrrrgggghhhh.... I had a month long streak where I'd get at least three of those a day!!!! Now of course I get the same sorts of questions in live/in person readings, but it is much easier to turn them around. I can go through the cards one by one and show, with them looking, that love may not be the issue at the moment! For instance I had a young man come to me the other day wanting to know when he'd have a relationship. All the Runes and cards pointed to him not being ready. We were able to go through the cards one by one, point out some issues that he needed to work on, and get a good idea of what he needed to do in order to become more ready. He realized that once he was ready it would happen!

Baby Owl	21 Apr 2005
It's a fascinating and often frustrating thing, this tarot reading. I had one of those "not quite ready" clients. Everything I did for her indicated that there was something she needed to clear up or get over or let go of... but she insisted she had already done that long ago -- i.e., "You are wrong. The cards must be wrong. Now, please tell me the real reason I haven't found a soulmate."

Mesara	21 Apr 2005
Exactly Firemaiden, adults asking teenage questions. If I wanted to cater to the will of whimsical adolescents, I would lurk around in the highschools or the mall waving around a deck of Hello Kitty cards. I hope Elven is right, that this is simply a wave to be ridden out. So, Im guessing by the replies here that most of you have had to gently nudge querents into asking the *right* questions. Im never sure how to do that, I was never sure if it was *ethical*, but it almost seems more unethical to not try to expand their insight into their own problems, even if that means overriding their initial requests. I suppose that part of being a good tarot reader is being able to think for your querents, to ask their questions for them. That sounds so pretentious and insulting, and I certainly don't mean it that way. Obviously querents seek out readers when things are confused, murky, hidden, and out of reach. I definately agree that the "does jack like me?" question is a scratch on the surface of what is really bothering them, but they don't know how to put words to their real concerns. Perhaps they aren't even aware that there is a deeper source of hurt and anxiety embedded in their subconcious. Hell, even I don't even know what Im asking half the time when I read for myself. Sometimes I have to consult the tarot just to see what I should be asking! Alright, Im babbling.

firemaiden	21 Apr 2005
Well, let's put it this way. Their question is the beginning of a dialogue, a rapport, a process. :D

Maggie Bell	21 Apr 2005
Sheesh ... harsh. How do you know where they are in their lives? Could be they've just been dumped/divorced/widowed and are seeking confirmation that there is hope they will be loved/married someday. I'm 50 years old and unmarried and I STILL hope to have that special union someday. If you've become that jaded about reading, may I suggest you take a break for a few months? Maybe you're just suffering from burn-out. My humble two cents .... Maggie

Mesara	21 Apr 2005
Maggie- If you have any more *suggestions* for me, may I suggest that you PM me directly? Publicly calling someone Jaded and unfit for reading isn't very nice. Even so, you do lend a good argument to this discussion and I will take what you said to heart. :)

lark	21 Apr 2005
Wow great thread. I'm really enjoying all the opinions. I actually like relationship questions the best. Maybe we should trade clients for awhile Mesara. :) Since I'm a fortyish woman who has found her spiritual path .... Fortyish women who are looking for their spiritual path are drawn to me. And so I do a lot of deep in you spirit, how's my soul doing, where should I go from here questions. Men with business questions come to me a lot too. And I know nothing about business. But because of that I seem to be able to look at a business situation from a more naive angle. "Oh I never thought of that!" is their prime response. I find with relationship questions one of the best tools is your choice of spread. I have a real goodie that I use. The He said, She said Spread. You get to go deep into the personalities of the two love birds and get to some real nitty, gritty, good stuff. And at the end there is a "Where is this relationship going to end up" question. So they get their main question answered in the end. But hopefully they walk away with a little better understanding of themselves. I know this will sound Polly Anna but it real is all about them. What they need. Some people just don't know how to ask a good question. So I do it for them. Most of the time they are bouncing up and down in their seat going "Oh ya that's a good one, ask that!" Like Fulgour said they speak in "wish talk" and within that talk is the good question. You just have to shake all the fairy dust off of it and put it out on the table for them.

Vadella	21 Apr 2005
The woman I used to go to would tell you everything she saw first and after she was finished [which usually took 10-20 minutes depending on the client] you could ask your own questions. I guess that is her way of 1. Proving herself to the client and 2. Trying not to hear repetitive questions. haha

Mesara	21 Apr 2005
Lark- I think you hit on an important point. Im ashamed to say I didn't think of it before, but just like you read mainly for your own age group, so do I. Most of my querents are in their early to mid twenties, just like me, so I guess it is only logical that their questions will seem immature, as is their phase in life. only just beginning to learn about love and relationships, about the world in general. I guess I feel somewhat removed from that because I have been in a very stable and long term relationship for a very long time, I have a daughter, I have a lot of responsibilities that most my age have only begun to acquire. In essence, perhaps I am a forty year old trapped in a twenty-six year old's body. :) So, I guess the solution may be to try to get a more diverse group of querents instead of the same twenty somethings that gravitate towards me . It makes perfect sense. Querents/clients feeling more comfortable with readers in their own generation.. Vadella- I love to use that style of reading when I feel I can get away with it. It does help to get out what you feel is most important, and also you don't have to worry about getting interrupted mid-reading and losing your connection to the cards. I guess I should try to use it more with my querents, just to see how much I can get away with.. :)

Junia	21 Apr 2005
I wish people would ask me "anything" at this point--even if mundane. I still don't think that people here or in general know the depth of the Tarot and what it can do. Most just see readers as "carnival type fortune tellers" concerned with love, etc. I do remember my first deck and how I read for a friend (at 13) who kept answering whether or not her boyfriend and she would ever get married (how is that for age-related). The cards always said "no" and finally she quit asking. Now, I wish that she had asked about the unplanned pregnancy she later used to trap this guy, and 33 years later still father and son have never met, and I don't think that she ever got any child support for her son. Some day the Tarot may hear your wish and give you a realy doozy! Be careful what you wish for around your own Tarot Deck. LOL }) }) Love and Cups of Nine, Junia

HudsonGray	22 Apr 2005
Hmm, how about turning it back around at them. When they give you one of these horrible questions, hold the deck still and look them in the eye and ask what ASPECT of this question are they having the most trouble with. That makes them stop & narrow the focus into something maybe they can actually admit there's a problem with that they should be doing something about. When will I be married? Where do you feel your strongest problem is in this, we can focus on that to help get your some answers. When will I be rich? Let's see what's holding you back at this point in time, is there any particular problem you know you're having in regards to that? What does he think about me? Let's look at where you stand in this to see if maybe you're misinterpreting signals. Etc. No free ride for the customers! Make them think!

closrapexa	22 Apr 2005
I find that is always depend on the cards. Like Galadriel told Frodo "I can command the mirror to see many thing, but far more interesting are the things that the mirror shows by itself". I ususally dislike answering specific questions like that, but if some one asks me something, then I'll look at the cards, and see what the most burning issue is. And I'll tell them so. Something like "I can't really see the answer to your question because this reading mostly focuses on..." While they may be somewhat disgruntled, since everyone these days seems to want easy answers and instant enlightenment, I truly believe that they may get more from the reading than by asking those mundane questions like "Does he like me... when will I get married... tell me the future...etc."

Vadella	22 Apr 2005
Mesara- I thought it was amazing! I had never seen any other do it this way. She hit a lot of my questions before I could even ask. By the time she was done and had asked me if I had any all I could do was just stare at her in awe.

Fulgour	22 Apr 2005
It helps to remember too, that no matter the question, the cards drawn, or your interpretation, they will "get" what it is they are looking for...whatever that may be.

Maelin	22 Apr 2005
People do ask mostly the same questions - but I wonder what we would do if they did ask the really interesting questions? " Hi thanks - I'm really nervous about coming to a tarot reader - never done it before, but ummm, I wonder, could you tell me - What is soul? " I think I'd fall off my chair! Perhaps that's why we read for ourselves too - to ask the more interesting questions.. ( Oh alright, I confess I've asked the cards " OK fine, smart #$#, I'll stop asking how to improve, what I can do, and just ask what on earth he is thinking!) Best wishes

ncefafn	23 Apr 2005
I have to agree with Maelin, and add that the Reading Exchange forum is an excellent place to get those unusual questions that spice up our lives. :) Kim

Fudugazi	23 Apr 2005
ncefafn wrote: I have to agree with Maelin, and add that the Reading Exchange forum is an excellent place to get those unusual questions that spice up our lives. :) Wait until we get this one: "if there is intelligent life on other planets....will they fancy me?" :D

Mesara	23 Apr 2005
At this point Helvetica, I would probably cry with happiness at having such a question. :) If nothing else, it would at least enable me to brush up on my bullsh**ing skills.

Vadella	23 Apr 2005
Add in your own thoughts for flavor and then eyeball them for a reaction. haha

bladeraven	23 Apr 2005
I was thinking to..I think there is an unconsious connection of relationships with Tarot..I mean think about it...in mass media, most of the time...tarot readings were done to see if there is a "tall dark stranger" in their future....

elysgrl	23 Apr 2005
I have a similar frustration. I'm still reading for free, mainly friends, family and coworkers, but almost everybody just wants a "general" reading. It's almost as though they're afraid to tell me what's really on their minds, probably because I know them. I find myself fishing for the real issue, which always comes out eventually, but it's like pulling teeth sometimes. What I've decided to do is assemble 4 or 5 of my favorite spreads, each geared to a certain area of life, and let them choose. Up until now, I've been using the celtic cross, which is really good for a certain kind of question, but somewhat limiting for others. I'm really hoping that using different spreads will result in more interesting and helpful readings. Blessings, Denise

Grizabella	23 Apr 2005
I've had married women ask me if their husbands are the one they're meant to spend the rest of their lives with. I feel like they probably should have been sure of that before they were married, but what I do is a "what if I do/what if I don't" with three cards for each question. The "what if I do" meaning "what if I do stay with him all my life" and then also what would happen if she doesn't stay all her life with the man.

ncefafn	23 Apr 2005
Lyric wrote: I've had married women ask me if their husbands are the one they're meant to spend the rest of their lives with. Gah! I haven't had that one yet, thank God/dess! Kim

Fairawen	23 Apr 2005
I'm having an interesting time reading this thread through, since I myself have never read to anyone other then in the Reading Exchange (and everybody is nice there-- It's public reading with training wheels!) and saw someone say "I'm a forty year old trapped in a tweny year old body!" Boy, have I felt like that. I'm only sixteen, but when I look around at my fellow teens, I can't identify with the crowd. I actually talk to other people and say, "Oh, those dang teenagers!" then they'll remind me that, hey, I AM am teenager. Then I'll just sigh and mumble something like, "Oh... yeah, forgot about that..." How aggrivating. I dn't know what age I am, but I'm sixteen on the outside, but certainly not inside. I actually can't stand being around people my own age for over a certain (short) amount of time. Then again, I'm not really exposed to my own age group often (O'm homeschooled) and I may just be wht a teenager is supposed to be like. :P I'm just a perfect little person. :P Yeah... SURE I am... Will continue reading this thread, it's exremely facinating to hear what you poor people have been badgered with. :) ~Fairawen~

Ilithiya	23 Apr 2005
Fairawen: SIXTEEN? You are one amazingly classy, sharp, and intelligent woman. I *never* would have guessed; nothing in your posts - language, phrasing, questions - made me think you were that young. I only wish I had your smarts at sixteen. :) *hugs* Illy

Khatruman	23 Apr 2005
I know this is more of a rant than a question, but it is an issue that anyone in a particular profession that deals one on one with people must deal with. As a teacher, I have seen many other teachers rant about "Why the kids can't just learn.. blah blah blah." The problem is that you are dealing with the same thing over and over, with different people who are dealing with it the first time. You see it as a repetitive insanity (i.e. Einstein's definition of insanity), where it is someone new who will naturally be dealing with it. It is literally banging your head on the wall to ask, "Why can't they finally learn..." because I am sure there are those who HAVE learned, but they have moved on and you have those who are experiencing it anew. And you do them an injustice to project other's learning upon them. As a teacher, I always keep in mind my audience: these are new learners, hopefully eager, but naive. I enjoy helping them discover something new, beyond what their misconceptions might be. It keeps me from expecting them to be more sophisticated learners, and it is the expectation that leads to the frustration. Know that they are new, and see if you can teach them something beyond their known expectation, then watch as the new knowledge illuminates them!

Mesara	23 Apr 2005
Very true, Khatruman. Sometimes we (or I) forget that we have all sat in the querent's seat at times, looking for the same answers and assurances that they seek from us. Still, what do you do when your needs as a tarot reader aren't being met? Perhaps my frustration is a tad misplaced, but I plan to remedy that by expanding my list of querents to include people from all walks of life. Having recently moved to a new city, I had to let go of many of my favorite querents and leave them behind , many of whom were older and on a more spiritual and introspective path than their younger counterparts. Here (in Portland) my social circle is quite small still. Naturally it will take some time to build up the diverse clientele that I had grown used to back home. Fairawen- You exhibit a grace and maturity that is definately beyond your sixteen years. You must be an old soul! :)

The Dreamer	23 Apr 2005
Your needs as a tarot reader. Reading tarot for others is about your needs? I'm going to have to side with Maggie Bell here. (Who did not say that you were unfit for reading tarot, but suggested you take a break from it.) Your defensive response to that shows that you have a lot invested in seeing yourself as a tarot reader. If you're reading tarot to learn more about others- delve into their psyches, see what makes them who they are and what drives their actions- there are other ways to do that than reading tarot for them. If you're doing it so that other people will make you think- there are other ways to go about that as well. And if I hear one more person call someone an "old soul" I'm going to start ranting myself. Compassion first. You have set yourself up as someone to whom others come to find answers to their questions. If you don't like what people ask- too bad for you. Since you're so old for your age, and so far advanced (probably an "old soul")- you may have outgrown reading for others.

Baby Owl	23 Apr 2005
Lyric wrote: I've had married women ask me if their husbands are the one they're meant to spend the rest of their lives with. I feel like they probably should have been sure of that before they were married... LOL! I think most people are sure when they get married - - then some of us later find out we were wrong. Go figure!

Maggie Bell	23 Apr 2005
The Dreamer wrote: Compassion first. You have set yourself up as someone to whom others come to find answers to their questions. Dreamer Thank you for the vote of confidence ... been feeling a bit alone on this issue. Blessings to you and yours ... Maggie

Mesara	23 Apr 2005
Everybody has needs, including tarot readers. To say that our needs should be sacrificed in the servitude of others (our querents/clients) is likening us to saints, priests, parents, or other such self-sacrificing roles, which I think is not only pretentious, but also a big misrepresentation of what tarot readers are. Just like you dislike the use of the term "old soul" (which btw, I never used to describe myself, but was used to compliment another member here), I at the moment dislike certain questions. You threaten to go on a rant if you here the term one more time, just like I went on a rant upon hearing that question *one more time*. So, if you and I are both so prone to rants over ridiculous things (which I admit my rant was ridiculous, I knew that from the start, but what better place to vent ridiculous anger than here, among people who might understand?) than how does this make me any less compassionate or less prepared for human interaction than you? When parents become frustrated with parenting, does that mean that they are unfit parents? When the priest feels frazzeled over the needs of his congregation, does this mean that he has *outgrown* his position? You are making great assumptions about me and the value I may have as a reader. You don't know me. In fact, Ive never seen you or talked to you before here, and yet you seem to think that you are qualified to make assumptions about my qualifications as a reader, and I don't appreciate that.

The Dreamer	23 Apr 2005
I made no assumptions about your qualifications as a reader. You are the only one who has used the word "unfit". The suggestion to examine one's own motives, or to take a temporary break from reading, does not imply "unfit". I am not prone to rants about ridiculous things, and do not consider ranting about people's use of the term "old soul" as ridiculous. Your stated intentions in starting this thread were ambiguous. Are you looking for people to tell you that it is alright to find your querents and their questions boring? Are you asking people how to better guide querents to ask "better" questions? What you really want is for your needs to be met. My suggestion is that you examine your own needs more closely in order to acheive that, rather than blame those who come to you for answers. And yes, I think reading tarot for others is a service. I do not read tarot for others.

Mesara	23 Apr 2005
For someone who doesn't read tarot for others, you seem to have a lot to say about how others should do it. No, I was not looking for people to tell me it's okay to be bored with questions. I know it's okay to get bored, frustrated, and annoyed every now and then, but apparently you, who doesn't read for others and therefore might not be a reliable source of criticism, find something wrong with me expressing some annoyance here on the forums. Very well. I do not want to turn this into a flame war. I think it degrades the quality of the discussion when people feel the need to insult each other and make snide comments. I feel like I have been very open to everyone's opinions and suggestions here, and I would like to see the discussion continue in a constructive manner if people still choose to participate.

Dark Inquisitor	23 Apr 2005
Unfortunately, reading for others is not about us and our needs. And you do kind of put yourself in that role of service when you sign on. If a client does not wish to be psychoanalyzed , I can see their point . They can't help it if their questions bore you or they are not living up to your tarot expectations. (Put yourself in the shoes of a doctor who is sick of seeing the same old boring injuries and wishes for more variety. Does this make sense? Maybe only if the doctor is sick of being a doctor and needs a change of profession because he is burned out. ) But still, the problem of your frustration remains and perhaps everyone will come to that point at some time or another. I think the question then becomes not "What is wrong with these irritating, whiney bores I am reading for ?" , but more "How can I sustain myself in my role and feel refreshed by it rather than drained?" Some suggestions might be: -To develop some kind of spiritual flow that you can open up to while reading that will be beneficial for both you and the client . In addition, some of the client's energy may be sticking to you and building up , needing additional cleansing. -If you feel a burning need to probe the deeper questions of life, why not begin studying to become a real psychiatrist? -Change your presentation/advertising to reflect the kind of readings you now wish to do . For example, if you state up front that you do in depth spiritual counseling readings -(or whatever it is you wish to do) , then clients will know what to expect and not make an appointment if they don't want that. I don't think the people who have responded to you here have been unfair or hostile, just expressing their opinion and reaction to what you have posted.

The Dreamer	23 Apr 2005
I don't see any flaming occuring. I was responding to this: Mesara wrote: Still, what do you do when your needs as a tarot reader aren't being met? You seem not to have found the answer to that in the discussion so far. And that is your real question. I have nothing to say about how others should read tarot, and did not say anything about how you should read it. I don't have any problem with anyone expressing annoyance. Please relax. :)

Maelin	23 Apr 2005
Perhaps we can all say that we each read for our own reasons, some good - some bad. - To understand the universe, to help, to see - to make a living - because perhaps you are just somehow compelled to. I read a great deal for myself, but sometimes that starts to feel like singing in the shower - fun, but not the same up as singing with musicians - there is a "zing" you can get when performing with others - sometimes you get that in doing a reading - when it clicks. There can also be the joy of helping someone - and the frustration when they don't seem to want to be a partner in helping, but a consumer of a quick fix to what you suspect isn't the real problem after all! We all need a good rant now and again. better than exploding at the querents - or the boss or the kids - they never really will understand the purpose of the laundry basket willthey ( the kids, not the boss)? Perhaps one day they will ask it of the cards? "What is the vortex in the bathroom into which my mother hurls all the clothes while muttering under her breath??" Best wishes

Mesara	23 Apr 2005
It is my belief that the act of tarot reading in many ways establishes a symbiotic relationship between the reader and the seeker. Both have needs, both hopefully get them met consistently. What would drive a tarot reader to pick up the cards in the first place if it weren't for some personal interest invested in the matter? Im not talking money, Ive never charged for a reading. Im speaking of the learning process, the art of handling and reading the cards, the intimacy we share with others, the testing and exercising of our skills as we progress further along our path of learning and understanding. Right now I feel like im not being challenged by the quesitons im being asked, and yes, im getting bored. Who wouldn't? Dark Inquisitor's doctor analogy is something I can relate to, having worked very closely with doctors for the past four years. Nearly all of them suffer droughts of exciting patient activity. You can only treat so many cold viruses and broken arms before you start to yearn for something a tad more exciting and challenging. They feel their knowledge and skills aren't being adequately used, their desire to help people not being fulfilled because most of these cold patients could cure themselves if they only stayed at home and got some rest. These doctors aren't burnt out, they are just needing a little exercise. :) Such it is with me at the moment. Many of these people Im *treating* don't really need my help, and Im looking eagerly to the horizon for those that could. I feel im not being given an outlet to utilize my skills as a tarot reader adequately. However, through the helpful insights of some on this thread, ive begun to understand why im feeling the way I do, and I think Ive acknowledged that we can't begrudge those who come to us for not meeting *our* expectations. At least I think I stated that in some post way back, that it is merely the age group I am reading for, and I can't expect them to live outside of their age group for my benefit. I think I have also found a solution that works for me, to try to create a more diverse group of querents in order to get my needs met and therefore be better abled to meet the needs of others. And I have no desire to become a psychotherapist :)

ncefafn	23 Apr 2005
I wrote something else originally, but I was really hacked off at the time. I'm still hacked off, but a tad cooler. I think that Tarot readers come to ATF for a place where they can chat with other Tarot readers. In that environment that seems like a real conversation, but isn't, we let down all the guards we normally let down when in real conversations with others we know to be Tarot readers. We vent. When shrinks, when doctors, when social workers, when lawyers get together -- do you think they don't complain about their clients or at least the type of work they have to do day in and day out? Yes, we're human, we have needs. Some of us read Tarot to actually make a living, like Mesara. So at the end of a long day, a reader comes to the Readers' Bar & Grill, hangs up her hat, sits down at the bar, orders a long one, and starts talking about what a lousy day at work she had. But what if she accidentally walked into the wrong bar? Or what if, without her knowing it, the bar had overnight become the Accountants Bar & Grille? So she starts letting off steam and instead of sympathetic murmurs and a couple of free drinks, she gets hostile glares and cold shoulders. That's the hidden danger of a place on the internet. Not everyone is on the same page. I know this little flare-up has taught me a valuable lesson. What's funny is that it's one rule out of a little code I repeat to myself every day. Rule #2: Be careful who you trust. So why, if I calmed down and decided to delete what I wrote earlier, am I writing all this now? Because I didn't feel it was right to let Mesara stand up there on the scaffold all by herself. We all have different views of what it means to be compassionate. This is mine. Kim

The Dreamer	23 Apr 2005
I never said I was perfect, or that others should be, nor do I even think that such a thing exists. It is true that I do not understand the motivations of those who read tarot for others. A lot of defensiveness here. :) I've got lots of needs. Reading tarot for others is not one of them. Mesara's last post was very interesting, as have been many of her other posts. I have noticed hers, though she had not noticed mine. My main need is to try to understand things, and people. Happily, I've gotten a bit closer through Mesara's last post. You know what I'm bored with? People not paying attention to what others actually say. Surely, Kim, you think that reading for another person is primarily about their needs, and not yours. Or maybe not. If it's about gaining knowledge, people can just read for themselves. If it's about having a relationship, one can have a relationship. If it's about fixing others' problems, one can do that in other ways as well. I guess I just don't see why everyone doesn't just read tarot for themselves. This is not a criticism. I just don't understand it. I don't see reading tarot as being analogous to being a doctor- as something which requires specialized knowledge, or qualifications. I think that anyone could do it. Others disagree. It might be that I would be bored to tears by reading for others. But, I don't know, because I don't do it. Boringness happens when the stuff you're interested in isn't happening. I think that finding out what you're really interested in can help you get away from being bored, and needing to vent about it. That's all. :)

The Dreamer	23 Apr 2005
Yes, Kim, I see your point. And if you don't mind, I will say that what you originally wrote was "imagine that, a person with needs. Wouldn't it be nice if we were all perfect" or something like that. To make sense of my last post. My statements about being an old soul and maybe you're too advanced to be reading for others could be taken to be snide, and that was not my intent. My intent was to be ironic, and to stimulate thought. I can understand the defensiveness that can arise when one thinks one is in a safe place, then encounters seeming criticism. I did not enter the discussion until Mesara seemed to still not be getting an answer to her question. Prior to that, it was more about commiseration than trying to get an answer. I was trying to help her find an answer. Also, I was a little nonplussed at the way she dismissed the earliest comment about possibly needing a break, and at the way it was misinterpreted. ATF is not only for professional readers, or even just for readers. It for everyone interested in tarot. No one has put Mesara on a scaffold. This is an open forum, but I do hope that you can feel that you can trust those who are discussing things here. I would not want to contribute to an atmosphere of distrust.

Mesara	24 Apr 2005
Ive expressed my thanks to Kim in a PM for standing up for me, no one likes to feel like they stand alone, especially when they have always considered themselves among friends.. And really, as Kim posted, all I really wanted to do was *share some drinks*, unwind with some colleagues after a long and trying day (or months in my case). It was also an invitation for others to exchange their own similar frustrations, and their methods of coping, and I am grateful for what most everyone here had to say.

firemaiden	24 Apr 2005
moderator note: yes, several of these posts go way over the line. Please read the forum rules. Everyone please remember, you may discuss issues and ideas, but please refrain from making personal comments, and from discussing (and/or attacking) individual people.

jmd	24 Apr 2005
There are so many threads on Aeclectic that sometimes I personally do not have a chance to read through some at all, or at least properly - unless the title grabs my personal attention first off, which is rare, unless it has the title of a particular deck, or seems to be discussing something I have a deep interest in - 'boredom' is not one of these. Yet the thread makes for quite interesting reading. Personally, I understand how the repeat of certain styles of questions may come in waves and be a little frustrating or 'boring'. In other words, it is not the style of reading, nor the people who come for a reading, but rather like a restaurant in which there is a wide menu to choose from and for a whole week diners choose the same dish (perhaps because it's fantastic, but nonetheless it can indeed become a little tiring and 'boring' for the chef!). This is not a call for the chef to be told to go and do something else, but rather a simple frustration of a phase in which the restaurant seems to be going through. If especially the restaurant gains a reputation for that dish, as Tarot may have to some extant in the public eye for certain kinds of questions, then this will only increase the likelihood of that dish being further selected - or that type of question being asked by people coming for a Tarot reading. So apart from the rant, what may be helpful to the restaurant? Perhaps a sign on its menu that says: 'famous for its wide variety of excellent food'. For the reader, perhaps instead of starting with a question, maybe a one card reading before any question and mention that this card will guide the ensuing readings, and that this may move in different directions to what the person may prefer to focus on. In other words, how can one broaden the offering, whilst still allowing for their burnig questions to somehow be addressed. And burning questions they are.

Rosanne	24 Apr 2005
Hi, I looked at the last 100 clients to find out how the questions went. I have taken away everyone under 16years. Heres the Typical 100. 1 Querent wanted to know about Death. 1 Querent wanted to know about God and Spirituality. 7 asked me to tell them what to ask ( I always turn it to what do you want to know?) 6 wanted to know if their plan or project was going to suceed. 11 wanted to know about Riches and Lottery and Financial things. 32 Wanted to know about family dynamics -is my husband/wife/partner faithful? -is my child/husband/wife/partner into drugs? -does he/she love me? -is he/she the 'one'? 42 Did not have a question, they wanted the cards to tell them what was 'in the cards' (the best Querents to have as a reader IMO)Even return Querents want this. I read because I am Literal and when I first learned about the cards that is what I thought they were for. I felt I was attracted to some sort of mission. If I had been attracted to Chess I would have joined a Chess club and gone in tournaments.Horses for courses. I am a Tarot Horse so I read. I am having a break at the moment for several reasons, but one is that I was getting to much info locally and that is not good in a small town. Never tired of it tho, wondered alot if I was a good reader and sometimes felt a bit fake. ~Rosanne

Satori	26 Apr 2005
Quite a range of opinion here. Roseanne thanks for your post, can't believe you keep track of all the questions. How do you do it??? As for me, I read for money out there in the wide world. I'm in my 40's and I get a very wide range of customers/clients/querents. This is an important distinction. The customers want something different than the clients and the querents, well they are there for something else too. And me, what do I want? Do I want good questions? Do I get bored with the questions I'm asked... Well, no. Not yet. I do home parties. I read at a bookstore once a week; at a head shop once a week; and now at a bead store once a week. I'm coming up on a summer of bookings at fairs and spas etc. At the headshop: -the half crazy massage therapist who didn't want to ask a question because she is testing me to see if I can guess her question should she ask it! Did I guess? Nope, but the reading answered her anyway and gave a whole lot more she didn't bargain for. -the two little ladies who came in together asking their love questions and were shocked to find the cards were talking about personal details, dissatisfactions, little nasty secrets, and walked out crying and fortified and wondering how at 23 they were with men who wanted to control them and shackle them and basically own them. So the fun little love question turned out to be a major life changing issue. My question: Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? At the Spa party: -The love question from the 40 something married woman who ended up spilling her guts about what was almost her husband's affair, anguished and miserable because she could see why it happened, they were working on the relationship after all, and well, was there hope.... What is my point? Am I licensed as a psychologist? Um, no license. But I'm doing lots of psychological work when I read. The work is mental, it requires acknowledging that it isn't entertainment only. It is serious, spiritual, psychological, mysterious, wonderous, hard work. Are these the proverbial boring love questions? Well they start out that way, but they end up being Life Questions. When you are out there reading there are always gonna be readings where you connect really well and others not so well. Part of that is chemistry, the moon phase, and the amount of water in your brain. Seriously. Drinking that water, before, during and after readings will keep you in the Zone. Or should I say, that has been my own experience, and I've spent many hours on the couch the day after readings, with the reading hangover to prove that sometimes even a lot of water isn't enough water. I don't find the questions boring or repetative. I don't find the people asking the questions boring either. I'm big on clarifying what it is they really want to know. But I must say that the reading is always far bigger than the question. Another reason I love Tarot. Tarot knows the real question. WE just need to get out of the way so that the answer comes thru.

magpie9	27 Apr 2005
lark wrote: I find with relationship questions one of the best tools is your choice of spread. I have a real goodie that I use. The He said, She said Spread. You get to go deep into the personalities of the two love birds and get to some real nitty, gritty, good stuff. And at the end there is a "Where is this relationship going to end up" question. I hope this isn't too far off-topic, but have you posted that spread anywhere, Lark? I would really like to see it--it sounds like a winner! ;0

Rosanne	27 Apr 2005
[quote=elf]Quite a range of opinion here. Roseanne thanks for your post, can't believe you keep track of all the questions. How do you do it??? He he That made me really laugh! I am very organised.(some would say obsessive) I have this sheet which I show the querent- it just has tick boxes no names, no identity,but has the deck used. No one has ever minded.~Rosanne

Junia	27 Apr 2005
[quote=Rosanne -I am very organised.(some would say obsessive) I have this sheet which I show the querent- it just has tick boxes no names, no identity,but has the deck used. No one has ever minded.~Rosanne[/QUOTE] Rosanne - that is amazing. I'd like to know at the end of a lifetime (yours and hopefully it will be as long as you want) what a sheet like that would read like. Maybe, you could get your heirs to publish, "Confessions of an Obsessive Tarot Reader!" Or just wait and do it yourself when you are old and "in your cups". I'd buy a copy (but you would have to be alive to sign it for me). ;-) Love and Cups of Ten, Junia

firemaiden	27 Apr 2005
elf, your post was delicious, I learned a lot. Thank you.

lark	27 Apr 2005
magpie9 wrote: I hope this isn't too far off-topic, but have you posted that spread anywhere, Lark? I would really like to see it--it sounds like a winner! ;0 Funny magpie I just posted it here: http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?p=501903#post501903

Mesara	27 Apr 2005
That was a very beautiful and intriguing post Elf, Thank you. And Rosanne, what you posted was amazing. How awesome that you keep track of all your readings like that! If I ever need statistics, I know who to ask :) Now, I would just like to say that Ive come a long way since the beginning of this thread. Im bored, but I can't look to my querents to change that for me. It's my responsibility. And for those of you who thought I was being bratty and angsty, I have something for you: I read at a day spa the other day for the very first time. My very first client, a sassy old lady with her toy doberman sits down in front of me: Client: "So, how good are you?" *her dog is btw, growling at me and eyeing me very naughtily. Mesara: "I think I can help you, Ive been doing this a long time, blah blah. Client: "Okay then smarty pants. Tell me what my chances are when Armaggeddon strikes". *Yes, she really did call me *smarty pants.* Mesara: :eek: Just thought I would give you all a good laugh at my expense. :) Seems I finally got what Ive been asking for...

magpie9	27 Apr 2005
Oh, Mesara, LOL!! I don't know what you came up with to say to her, but my temptation would have been to toss down a card or two, look at them intently for a moment, nail her right in the eyes and say, in a dead-flat serious tone of voice, " You and your dog will find your proper places in the food chain quickly." :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D!!!!!!}) }) }) }) }) }) }) }) !!!!!!!!!!! So what did you say, hmmmm....?

Fullmoonsinger	27 Apr 2005
Mesara wrote: I have one friend who does ask good, thought provoking questions, and I think Im scaring him by clinging to his shirt when he leaves. "Please don't go! I love your questions! No one asks questions like you do! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR QUESTIONS! HOW CAN YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!" RANT RANT RANT. I know, and Im sorry. It's late. But, I would like to hear some of the more interesting questions you guys have been asked. Also, maybe some helpful hints on how to tactfully and discreetly steer querents into asking what you want them to ask? }) That would be ethical, right? Have you considered printing up a list of questions similar to the ones that your friend asks and letting your clients see some examples of better questions? MoonSinger

Mesara	27 Apr 2005
No, but that is an interesting thought Fullmoonsinger :) Ive always been kinda uncomfortable in suggesting questions or ways of putting questions, but obviously that way of thinking has only brought me trouble.. Ive since learned that it is okay to rediirect your querents questions in order to give them a better reading. Many of the replies to this thread opened my eyes to that. To answer Magpie's question, I really wanted to tell my client that her and her little dog were f**ked, but then, that was something the old Mesara would have done.. ;) So, I tried to take what I had learned from this thread, chanting "no questions are bad questions, no questions are bad questions" over and over in my head. And then I tried to think, what would Elf do, or jmd, or Firemaiden, or the others who gave me good advice here. How would they handle this? And so I said to her "Lets examine the things in your life and see why you fear the Second Coming so much.." or something like that, and she just broke into laughter, smiled at me, and said "I like you! Your cute"! So things went on from there, apparently this lady likes to try to stump all the readers, nothing delights her more than to see us squirm.. it's her way of breaking in the newbies :) We actually clicked very well and the reading was enjoyable, and she seemed satisfied with it, so it was a success in my book. Very fun old lady. :)

bladeraven	27 Apr 2005
Another fun thing one can try is if they won't come up with something original...get a hat filled with pre-written questions and have them choose one and hope it has nothing to do regarding will today's sex change go well ...okay...seriously..whenever someone asks me to do a reading...I try to explain to them what the Tarot can and can't do...Can suggest but can't clean up the kitchen (I've tried that and the deck just lays there on the floor staring back at me...oh wait..that's my child..never mind..uhm...if that's my child..who did I make go to bed??)..... Usually I find that by gentle guiding and cattle prods...I can have them come up with original questions after they stop crying and filing lawsuits against me.

Mesara	27 Apr 2005
Ive heard of some readers doing that, (drawing from the hat, not the cattle prods; but hey, whatever works, right?) }) That actually sounds really fun, kind of like fortune cookies except you get questions instead of predictions. Well, I guess the predictions or answers come next but you get my drift.. Actually, I could see this used at a party too, only fill the hat with the most ridiculous, off the wall questions, like the sex change operation. That would be fun too!

bladeraven	27 Apr 2005
lol...I think that's an idea that's been sparked...plus it'll put an end to the nightmare of all questions...Tell me about my relationships...It's always hard for me to NOT get sarcastic when I get that same question over and over and over and over and over...let's see...you and your *'fill in the blank* are about to be hit with a cattle prod until you give me a better question..

firemaiden	28 Apr 2005
Mesara wrote: So, I tried to take what I had learned from this thread, chanting "no questions are bad questions, no questions are bad questions" over and over in my head. And then I tried to think, what would Elf do, or jmd, or Firemaiden, or the others who gave me good advice here. How would they handle this? And so I said to her "Lets examine the things in your life and see why you fear the Second Coming so much.." or something like that, and she just broke into laughter, smiled at me, and said "I like you! Your cute"! WAY TO GO, Mesara!!!! That's WONDERFUL!

Mesara	28 Apr 2005
*blushes* Thank you!

Satori	28 Apr 2005
Great idea MoonSinger.

Fullmoonsinger	28 Apr 2005
I'm one of those people who never can think of a question. So it would help me if the reader had a list to pick from. And then I'd probably modify one of the suggestions, because I do that. MoonSinger

full deck	28 Apr 2005
. . . and those that have none are out of luck -- wisdom. Quote: Now, I wish that she had asked about the unplanned pregnancy she later used to trap this guy, and 33 years later still father and son have never met, and I don't think that she ever got any child support for her son. . . . All the reading in the world will not take the place of wisdom (commonsense?) and honesty. Firemaiden was right in that people need to consider their questions in more depth because without understanding there can be no solutions. That is one reason I don't read for just anyone. Sometimes just having a good talk with someone is going to help them more.

Satori	28 Apr 2005
Mesara you do me great honor listing me in such highly esteemed company. Thank you!!! I can remember many threads I either started or posted in, where by the end of it all I was maybe not very happy with the twists and turns, but since I asked for it, I read it, I tried on some of the advice/criticisms and I grew. Sounds like something similar happened to you here. Interesting isn't it? Growth never happens the way you expect it too.

ThePlayerOfGames	30 Apr 2005
This thread is very enlightening, I feel I've learned a lot from it! Anyways, after mature consideration I have decided one card slam is the answer if someone asks a thoughtless question :D. Bang, thoughtless reading coming right up :p.

Junia	30 Apr 2005
ThePlayerOfGames wrote: This thread is very enlightening, I feel I've learned a lot from it! Anyways, after mature consideration I have decided one card slam is the answer if someone asks a thoughtless question :D. Bang, thoughtless reading coming right up :p. Good thought, the gal I read for though asked the SAME question over and over when I offered a reading to her. Finally I said, "Querent (not her real name you see) the cards are never going to give you a different answer." Oh, was I wise at 13. She was a year older and got pregnant. I guess that was her solution to I won't take no for an answer. Is the Hanged Man the official, Trogan Card then? And go on Player, Hit Me! LOL

ThePlayerOfGames	01 May 2005
Two of cups - You've fallen in love, my instinct tells me with an amazing new idea you saw on an internet forum about the tarot. This is a time to let new ideas rejuvenate and strengthen you bringing to your life that feeling of completion you never quite attained without this inspirational guidance. :p

Umbrae	01 May 2005
I gotta chime in here, especially in the light of other recent threads. Our job is not to educate or demystify for sitters. As sitters, I am referring to the strangers, the first timers, the…lemme back up here. When you tell the universe that you want to read Tarot for others, and you’ve asked yourself and answered the question, “Why do I want to read tarot for others”, they will come to you. They come to us to touch the invisible, to touch the unknown, the mystery. To touch that which they cannot. They will come to you. And they will tell you things. Amazing things. You see, if you were truly full-on psychic you’d know these things so why hide them from you…perhaps you even touched on some of it in discussing the cards…(Easy there. It does not matter if you are not psychic – they think you are – and if you tell them you’re not, it will be seen as a self-disparaging remark – welcome to reality). They will come to you and they will tell you things. Some things you won’t want to know. Some you do. You become the last confessional. They will tell you things the priests and the psychiatrists never ever hear. You will hear truths. You will hear lies. All kind of people will come to you; there will be those that come to you whom the doctors cannot diagnose, that juries cannot acquit, priests cannot provide absolution, and the psychiatrist cannot cure…you the reader, may very well become the consultant of last resort…they will come to you – because you are the reader. And they will ask questions. In some cases stupid questions… But you told the universe you wanted to read Tarot for Others. Welcome to reality. The sitter that walks in, the stranger…if you decide you are going to de-mystify tarot, or correct their question…you are not going to get repeat business. And every sitter – will talk about their reading at some point. They are going to talk about you. If all you can do is tell them how and why they are wrong – Oh yeah – you bet they’re gonna talk. You told the universe that you wanted to read tarot for others – and they come to you. One aspect of your job – is to provide the wisdom that they seek. It’s that simple. So let them ask the silly question. And judge them not. Read the cards, share the wisdom. That’s one reason why they come to you.

Mesara	01 May 2005
Wow- this thread just won't die!! I was kind of hoping it would, because it all started off on a silly rant that was just a rant, but turned into so much more... A very complex, somewhat heated discussion on what it means to read tarot for others. Not that this isn't an intriguing topic, Im very interested in the motivations of others compared to my own, and have learned that these motivations that bring us together in these forums vary greatly. I appreciate that variation, I find it intriguing. However, I admit im kind of embarrassed at my original post here. You know how your friends warn you from drinking and dialing to save you from the chaos that will ultimately ensue? Sometimes posters here need a designated driver when it comes to *driving* on the forums. I was really mad when I started this thread. I wasn't drunk, just extremely frustrated and exasperated. I think I gave many the impression that I am an *angry reader*, that I hate my job and lash out at those I read for. I would just like to say that this is not so. You all caught me in a very rare hissy fit. That post does not reflect me or my character, or my tarot reading in a justified manner. But we should not have to apologize for being frustrated and bored every once in awhile, it is part of the human condition that makes us, well.. human. Every profession has it's ups and downs. No job or hobby ever goes perfectly, nor do we always perform our tasks perfectly. Even if it is something we essentially *signed up* for. Boredom, anger, frustration, exasperation will be encountered in every profession. We should, however, apologize if our momentary dissatisfaction with our jobs begins to taint our interactions with others with hostility or apathy. Maybe this is why I got such strong responses, but I can assure you that I never took out my frustration on any of my querents. That is what I used this thread for, to vent and get it out of my system. Although I know it was silly, and maybe even offensive to some, it was in my opinion, a healthy form of release. Now to continue on this discussion.. Umbrae- Im not sure what you mean by de-mystifying tarot? I would be very interested to hear you elaborate on that.. Also where you said "our job is not to *educate* for others".. would you be willing to elaborate on that as well? But I am now in agreeance, to "let them ask the silly question", because that is ultimately what we are there for, to answer questions. :)

Junia	05 May 2005
ThePlayerOfGames wrote: Two of cups - You've fallen in love, my instinct tells me with an amazing new idea you saw on an internet forum about the tarot. This is a time to let new ideas rejuvenate and strengthen you bringing to your life that feeling of completion you never quite attained without this inspirational guidance. :p Oooh, good one, I think (had I know more about Tarot) and had we thought of doing meditations on cards back then, I would have pulled XIV Temperance--which suggests patience, moderation and balance for her to consider. I just didn't have the skills to tell a head strong young adolescent that 14 was not the best age to be planning on children and marriage. (No offense to those of you who had children and/or got married at that age.) In her case, it turned out disastrously! And the Tarot would never give her a different or in her case "the" answer that she wanted.

The Bored with questions and querents thread was originally posted on 21 Apr 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.