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absent reading

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 30 May 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

new2angels  30 May 2005 
Can a reading be done for someone even if they are not there or they dont know you are doing the reading,for example if you wanted advice as to how to help a friend etc.... 

light2000  30 May 2005 
i ussualy read for people who are far away from here. but only when they askme to. but if is a friend and she wants to know something about a person i read for that person, but i try to see only the most important not the details. 

Annabelle  30 May 2005 
The short and simple answer is yes, you can do a reading for anyone about anything, without having them present, and without their knowledge or consent.

However, ethically speaking, it is best to ask someone's permission before doing a reading for them. And if you do a reading for someone without their knowledge, it is best to tell them about it afterward.

For example, I once had a friend who was going through a very rough situation. I did a reading for her without asking her ahead of time; however, as soon as I finished it, I emailed it to her, and told her that if she was uncomfortable with me having done a reading for her, to please be honest and say so. But as it turns out, she was thrilled that I'd read for her. She said she'd been wanting to ask me for a reading for a long time, but didn't know how to bring up the subject.

Still, ethically speaking, I really should have asked her permission before doing the reading. 

new2angels  30 May 2005 
Thanks for the replies thats helped me alot. 

Citrin  30 May 2005 
Why not? It's basically like asking a friend "how is X doing nowadays?", to me at least. I wouldn't snoop around, but just asking a general question is fine. 

Emeraldgirl  31 May 2005 
I have done readings for people who could not be present at the time when asked to. I have done a reading for my sister without her consent as I was extremely worried about her and some things she is involved in but as a general rule I don't read for people unless they ask for reading. 

Marina  31 May 2005 
Ethically speaking, you shouldn't do a reading for someone unless they ask - after all, you might end up 'seeing' more than you intended and that's not something that can be easily denied afterwards.

However, sometimes we have that feeling...a friend of yours is having a hard time and you wish to know how to help. Or he/she doesn't believe in Tarot, so won't ask for a reading, yet you feel you could do something...believe me, the intuition can 'tell' you when it's a good time to do such readings. They are not very ethical, and i agree you should tell the person after or when you think the person is prepared to hear. Anyway, sometimes i do think they are necessary - just don't make of it an habit ;)

Besides, if the tarot thinks that you should not stick your big nose on other's business, it'll more likely tell you nothing. The tarot has done it to me sometimes (even though they were *my* own business, go figure...). You usually don't see what you mustn't/aren't prepared to see.

That's my vision....not sure if it's good :p


Fudugazi  31 May 2005 
I can't see that it's any worse than asking someone how someone else is. We do it all the time -"how's Jim? I haven't heard from him in ages, he's not answered my calls. Have you seen him? Oh, his wife's left him, he's in a bad state. Really? That's so sad, why? Oh, you know, she got fed up with his always being away. I think she might have met someone else, too."

Just as the line between friendly enquiry and gossip is blurred, so is the line between a friendly reading about someone and prying into their affairs. I think it's normal to be interested in the lives of those we love. When does it become nosiness? Only the extremes are obvious: for instance, the incessant reading about an ex-lover and his life with a new lover is unhealthy - and not only because it's prying - it's obsessive behaviour, and more likely to be harmful to you than to the ex. Likewise a friendly and detached "how's Jim" card is not prying anymore than if yo'd asked a friend in the street.

It helps if you know if the person is ultra-private or not, to place the line. I don't think there's a hard and fast rule: it is individuals you respect. I also helps to remain detached. I believe that if the person and the Universe really don't want you to know, you will not find out, even if you are the best tarot reader in the world. 

The absent reading thread was originally posted on 30 May 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.

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