Sweet or Bitter?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 30 May 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

jumptothemoonyea	30 May 2005
While reading the [thread=42573] Have U Ever Been Scared Of a Reading? [/thread] I remembered one friend, a reader who sometimes removes 'dark' cards from her deck before a reading. The question I would like to ask is: Is it better to give empowering, uplifting reading by removing 'negative' cards from a deck, or give accurate, truthful possibly stressful/discouraging reading with all the keys?

light2000	30 May 2005
hi jumptothemoonyea. i think that is always better tell the true. because if you give up to someone and he cant reach that, is more depressing than if he dont have hope and cant rech it. is like when you go to the doctor. you need to know the true, imagine if you are sick if the doctor say that you have a fantastic help, you will not do the treatment that you need. i´m psycologyst and i see a lot of depressions and mental problems because a objective that couldnt be reached and the worst is when the patient have more hope at it. when you think that something doent have future and than life proves you that you are certain isnt so depressing like the oposite, dont you think? i´m no saying that we must be pessimist whith everything ( i´m very positive person) but if you see at the tarot that the objective isnt a good path you must say the truth, is better for you because you dont pass for a bad tarot reader and for the querent that will be prepare for the bad things. if you say all good, the querent will be happy for a wile whith your reading than when bad things happen he will thing that you are the worst in the world. i think that is things like that, makes person says that tarot is a lier and the tarot readers are quacks. if people come to a tarot reader is because they want to know the true. i´m remering now, a long time ago i said to a friend of mine to goa tarot reader. you know what she said? for what, for the women tell me that i will be lucky at love, that i will merry,have children, have a long life and rich. i stayied whith no words.

Imagemaker	30 May 2005
I would never remove any cards from the deck--to read the truth (expressed diplomatically and with compassion) may be hard to do, but a reader can choose to end a reading if it looks too hurtful or dangerous to say. Lying to a querent or taking the role of protector will backfire in some way, for both parties.

Free Flight	30 May 2005
I would never remove any cards from the deck. I feel this would defeat the purpose of reading for a Querant. I do, however, tone down readings depending on who I am reading for and their fragile state. I have had two experiences recently One I was asked by a woman to read for her but she asked specifically to not know anything about her relationship (with my father in law). I usually would refuse this sort of thing...but as she is going out with someone close and I didnt want to get involved I did this. Hence I skimmed over the 10 pentacles rx in a crucial position Also I was reading for someone the other night and he had the King Wands crossed by the 10 pentacles in position one and two in the celtic spread. His wife was present so I really toned down what I thought this would indicate. :)

Ace	30 May 2005
jumptothemoonyea wrote: Is it better to give empowering, uplifting reading by removing 'negative' cards from a deck, or give accurate, truthful possibly stressful/discouraging reading with all the keys? What is "empowering and uplifting" about a reading that does not tell the truth or the whole truth? If I remove all the negative cards from a deck, I am not working with a full deck ;) (how could I resist?) but also: how many cards can you do without? To take all the negative cards, I would have to pull the Hermit (yes, I get a LOT of negative reaction to that one), the Fool (and that one!) the 2 of swords, 5 of pentacles, 10 of swords.... and on and on. And of course the Devil and Death. Ace

autumn star	30 May 2005
As a beginner to tarot readings for others, I have these same issues, but I would never remove any of the cards. That doesn't seem right. Whenever I see any negative cards though - I try to explain them in the most positive way that I can. But now, I have been thinking that this is not the best way to do it. I think that it always better to tell the truth, even though it is harder.

Emeraldgirl	31 May 2005
I would never remove cards from a deck. If it's supposed to be a positive reading it will be. Even the "nasty" cards have good points and even the "nice" cards can have negative meanings depending on the surrounding cards.

Marina	31 May 2005
No! Taking off cards or lying is a very big no-no. I'd hate if someone did that to me! However, you must always be diplomatic. Telling 'your wife is being unfaithful' or 'i'm sorry but your dream trip ain't going to happen like you expect' is very rude...tone down. Your goal is not to hurt the consulent. You must try to make him/her aware of the truth without scaring the querent off! I agree with Free Flight. You must do as the querent ask and tone down what you think that isn't...appropriate, and that in no way means lying. If you cannot say it aloud, leave it implict - suggest. I think thats one of the hardest things when reading for another person. ~Yuko

Lady Maria	31 May 2005
As someone (Sorry, forget who it was), pointed out in a previous thread, who's to say that a particular card is actually negative? If you were to remove cards, would they be Death, the Tower, the Devil? In my life right now, the Death card in some ways is very welcomed. And the Devil has brought light to some confusing areas in my life. Just because a card seems negative, doesn't mean it is. I think "negative" cards are the ones that promote change. If everything was all peachy, without obstacles or challanges, there would be no reason for Tarot! I think it would be the style of reading that would make a spread empowering or depressing. Blessings, Maria

MaryElTarotFan	31 May 2005
Just to add to what people here have already said. No joke, I have a roommate here who would probably find an announcement of a new love about to enter her life more stressful than a possible death in the family. I beleive the Tarot reveal what they do for a reason and thatthose reasons can provide the anchor for the querant to hold onto if unsettling news should come up. I do not believe in negative or positive cards. The entire deck should represent the Journey of Life with all its ups and downs. Rather than removing cards from the deck, I would probably try to find a deck whose resonance put me in a diplomatic mood if I had concerns of revealing unfortunate news. For example, I love the Thoth deck but it tends to reveal rather bluntly to me with no patience for pussyfooting around. There are other decks that reveal much more gently and nurturing. Using such a deck would be my solution. I don't see how it could be helpful to reveal a rose tinted view of the world to querents that have pressing if unsettling issues they really need to deal with.

MaryElTarotFan	31 May 2005
Sorry, just wanted to say that I not feel that readings are automatically more powerful and uplifting because of the lack of negative info revealed within them. It is how the reader conveys the information, how sensitive the reader is to the querent's concerns, what positive insights the reader can offer to the negative situation, what hope, direction, or focus the reader can leave the querent with. All these things are what is important. I am sure no one would want to relive 9/11 but many a positive and uplifting experience has been revealed that has occured in the wake of that disaster.

snowy25	31 May 2005
Way before I had tarot cards I've had cards from a magazine. They where about love and only had good and uplifting words on them. It was nice to use them but more in a playfull way. I didn't pay much attention to the outcome and during parties they where used just for fun and not taken seriousely. I think if someone would remove all the cards that could be negative in a tarot deck tarot will become more like a game and something just for fun but not taken to seriousely. Then a deck becomes a playfull underrated game in my opinion and doesn't have anything to do with tarot like we use it today.

Lady Mary	31 May 2005
jumptothemoon wrote: While reading the Have U Ever Been Scared Of a Reading? I remembered one friend, a reader who sometimes removes 'dark' cards from her deck before a reading. I think somebody also made a remark about removing cards when doing readings at a party on another thread here several months ago. I think if I was asked to do some "fun" readings at a party, I'd problaby consider removing these "dark" cards, if I really did these sort of readings. I'd maybe let the "querant" pick one card and not do a whole spread. Also I'd use a light deck, like the ATOR. When doing a serious reading I wouldn't remove any cards from the deck. But whenever I do a reading for someone who is not familiar with Tarot I explain in advance the crucial cards, like the Death card. I'm not sure if it helps though. I think it's not as much the message behind a card that is frightening but the image itself. Intellectually the querent can understand that Death, for example, means change, closure of a phase of their lives, beginning of something new, but still the image is grim and scary and makes shudder. I think this is a normal human reaction. Sometimes I think that especially the Death card can be contraproductive in a reading because some querants are so overwhelmed with the image that the message is sometimes lost or difficult to transmit. So I guess a less emotional image might be "easier" to deal with and the message would be the same.

Clau	31 May 2005
Free Flight wrote: Also I was reading for someone the other night and he had the King Wands crossed by the 10 pentacles in position one and two in the celtic spread. His wife was present so I really toned down what I thought this would indicate.:) What does this mean? (the King of Wands and the 10 of pents in positions 1 and 2?) Why wasn't it safe to tell him in front of his wife? Thanks,

Dark Inquisitor	01 Jun 2005
Maybe we should get little yellow smiley face stickers and put them over the faces on the scarey cards for public reading decks . Might take the shock out of it for the fearful querent.

SunChariot	02 Jun 2005
jumptothemoonyea wrote: While reading the [thread=42573] Have U Ever Been Scared Of a Reading? [/thread] I remembered one friend, a reader who sometimes removes 'dark' cards from her deck before a reading. The question I would like to ask is: Is it better to give empowering, uplifting reading by removing 'negative' cards from a deck, or give accurate, truthful possibly stressful/discouraging reading with all the keys? I only read for someone else once...but IMHO, you could STILL give an empowering unlifting reading even with the "so called" negative cards. I think it's all in your viewpoint and how you phrase things. I would say like something along the lines of : "You are going to pass through a difficult period, but don't worry you have what it takes to succeed. This is one of those necessary changes the Universe sends us all to help us improve our lives....Once through to the other side you will find yourself in a better place than you were before and be glad for it. " If you know what I mean. If I was going to have a hard time, I would like to hear something like that. It gives you hope when you are in the hard period. And that meaning is usually there, it's not a stretch...IE the famous death card usually means something ending "to make room for something better". Even the Tower is followed by the Star....That and for me the universe doesn't send us what we can't handle. At least I beleive that. So I would tell the person whatever it will be they will handle it and come out the other side happily again. Again, I would say leave all the cards in. If the person is going to come on hard times, they will whether you tell them about it or not. But this way at least you can help give them some hope and strength to deal with what is coming. And, for me, I find that empowering. That and you can explain to them first that the future is not written in stone and can usually/often be changed. You could always try more readings to see what the querant can change to help make their situation easier. That's my feelings on it. Bar

Scout987a	02 Jun 2005
My cousin is a pretty good tarot reader, and what she does whenever she encounters negative cards is to put them into context with the rest of the reading. For example, if she was doing a Celtic cross reading and it ended with the 10 of Swords, she would counsel the Querent to look for positive opportunities for change, advise on the benefits of sometimes letting go of unhealthy emotions and relationships, and explain that even something like the 10 of Swords has a definite ending--meaning that it won't last forever and that, sometimes, wisdom can come from pain. This impressed me a lot; I thought, oh, that is a great way to think about something that could be considered negative. Sincerely, Scout987a

Ace	02 Jun 2005
What may seem negative to you may not be to the querent. If I get 10 of swords, and tell them it is bad, but this is rock bottom, that might be a relief! If I say, your husband is leaving you, that might be a good thing! It isn't up to you to decide what is negative to THEM. I once read for a man who had been in jail, but was now (according to his palms) reformed. I told him I saw that there could have been a Death, and he looked transformed: he said, "Thanks, I always thought it would have gone that way, but I was never sure." Should I have spared him sad news? Ace

snowy25	03 Jun 2005
Ace wrote: What may seem negative to you may not be to the querent. If I get 10 of swords, and tell them it is bad, but this is rock bottom, that might be a relief! If I say, your husband is leaving you, that might be a good thing! It isn't up to you to decide what is negative to THEM. I once read for a man who had been in jail, but was now (according to his palms) reformed. I told him I saw that there could have been a Death, and he looked transformed: he said, "Thanks, I always thought it would have gone that way, but I was never sure." Should I have spared him sad news? Ace Of couse you shouldn't spare someone sad news. IMHO if someone needs to look at bad news it turns op in the reading. The querent has to know this. But it's up to us as readers how we give the message and how we treat the qurent.

The Sweet or Bitter? thread was originally posted on 30 May 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.