Cards that indicate self-blame/blaming others

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 20 Jun 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

obsidian_queen	20 Jun 2005
Hey ppl :) I did a self-reading about a particular situation I had recently where things didn't work out with someone I was seeing, and I felt like I'd been taken for a ride. I did a Celtic Cross (using the Revelations Tarot Deck) and in the position designated for how the querent sees the situation, I drew the Fool reversed. For some reason the very first thing that popped into my head was "I feel like a fool". In the negative sense that is, where humiliation at being naive plays a role. I felt like I trusted this guy and got burned, and I'm not likely to take a risk with him again..and for me, this meaning stuck. That being said, it got me thinking, since I feel as though it's my fault I wasn't more cautious, what other cards can indicate that the querent is feeling self blame? Conversely, what cards demonstrate a tendency to blame others? For self-blame so far I've got: Fool Rx 9 of swords 8 of swords ....still thinking of others because I KNOW there's more For shirking responsibility for an issue/placing blame on others 10 of wands Rx...feel like this meaning applies in tandem with another card though. It just occurred to me that certain COMBINATIONS of cards would also indicate the types of blame and I wondered if anyone has any suggestions to those as well. Any ideas?

wizzle	20 Jun 2005
The Devil is the "blame someone else" card par excellance. That is, after all, his traditional meaning. He is all the evil in ourselves we can't face up to, so project onto others. That's why he IS so evil. Since we refuse to "own" that energy, we can't control it in any way. He also let's us justify our nastiness because "they" make us act badly.

obsidian_queen	20 Jun 2005
yeah wizzle! that's an example that's so obvious I feel like kicking myself. Good one!

sagitarian	20 Jun 2005
Wow, I have such different interpretations to all of the above. Fool rx - You knew you were taking a chance, a leap of faith in the beginning, not sure of what was going to happen, knowing that you didn't really trust the situation. You decided to gamble on this 50/50 chance. You took a leap of faith into the unknown, and from this, you've gained experience, and wisdom. *It has NOTHING to do with acting like, or "being" a fool (imho). Devil - The devil is simply a representation of self indulgences. Drugs, drinking, staying out too late, over eating. He simply offers us our greatest of pleasures, and we choose to take him up on this offer. We choose to be "chained" to our negative habits, and self indulgent pleasures. At any time, the woman or man in the card can remove the chains and leave the Devils mountain. It's a card that reflects either a cold heart truth, that you are over indulging, or it's a card recommending that you go out to have a little fun, it wouldn't hurt to self indulge a little bit. Regardless, the devil is the reflection of "guilt". Guilt is a result of doing something that we know we shouldn't do, yet we love our chain of pleasures. This can be self destructive. The Devil teaches us how to overcome self indulgence, and be able to control our desires. Hope this helped. Sagitarian

feticeira	20 Jun 2005
My take on the 10 of wands rx is totally different, I once got this and it meant I was the one blaming myself and taking on the responsibilities of others, not the other way around.

gollog	21 Jun 2005
to me selfblame could also be the 8 of cups. Feeling dissapointed by yourself or others and trying to leave it all behind.

obsidian_queen	21 Jun 2005
Um..could one of the court cards in the suit of swords be seen as self-blame / blaming other people if reversed? Queen/King of Swords maybe? I only say so because I think of these 2 as having the power and the tendency to "judge"..both others and themselves, and usually when they're upright they're being fair and level-headed... so a queen of swords reversed...could it represent a woman who is mentally exhausted, unable to think clearly, bitter and overly critical of herself or others depending on the surrounding cards? Not too sure of the King though.

obsidian_queen	21 Jun 2005
Um..could one of the court cards in the suit of swords be seen as self-blame / blaming other people if reversed? Queen/King of Swords maybe? I only say so because I think of these 2 as having the power and the tendency to "judge"..both others and themselves, and usually when they're upright they're being fair and level-headed... so a queen of swords reversed...could it represent a woman who is mentally exhausted, unable to think clearly, bitter and overly critical of herself or others depending on the surrounding cards? Not too sure of the King though.

sagitarian	21 Jun 2005
I'm just curious, why are you looking for cards of blame? are you looking for your personal readings of self blame on purpose? I personally don't see judgement in the cards at all, it's how you interpret them that makes them judgmental. You can use any card at all if you wanted to, for self blame, it just takes your own perception into manipulating it into that. Instead, I look at the cards as teaching me something, not blaming me, nor even self blame. I look for what experiences and wisdoms do I have to gain from my readings vs where I screwed up, and how bad. I absolutely mean no offense in this post at all, instead, I'm a little concerned about your emotional and mental state at the time being. It seems as though you are obessed with this self blame, when instead, why not look at it as lessons learned, and wisdom gained? Queen of swords represents a woman who is self confidant in her life experiences and studies. She is intellectually challenging yes, but I don't see that as "over critical", or even judgemental. In fact, she would rather teach someone the knowledge that she feels dear to herself, such as plato, or shakespear, or maybe even how to decorate your home. She's a student of life, and knowledge in general, a bookworm. In rx, I read it as, implied internally, that you feel confident in your studies and knowledge, and your not ready to share this with anyone right now, but perhaps you've come across something new that you are absorbing your time with, in studying. Sometimes she can represent a hypochondriac, or a drama queen, but she believes it's "real" due to her own mentality, or perception of reality. I really don't believe that you should take all the blame in what went wrong. It takes two people, and just b/c you fell for someone that ended up hurting you, doesn't mean you deserve all this blame. Afterall, do you really want that karma? B/c by doing so, your taking on the responsibility of what he did, his actions, and thus making it your karmic responsibility to be "punished" for the actions he did upon you. That's not exactly fair to you, in my opinion. Please, let go of this blame, your not at fault, so what, you made a decision and it didn't go well, it doesn't mean you deserve all this. Please, take good care of yourself, that means mentally too, not just physically ok? Sagitarian

iseekserendipity	22 Jun 2005
the 10 of Swords often speaks to me of blame in connexion to feeling sorry for yourself. i see feeling sorry for yourself as often seeing yourself as victimized and hence you "indirectly" blame others (since it's "never" the victim's fault! ;o))

sagitarian	22 Jun 2005
There are people who choose to focus on whose at fault for what, and often these are petty things. Then there are those who smile and say "now I know". Wisdom can be gained from any experience, it just takes the perception to gain it.

Al Si'ra	22 Jun 2005
For me; i think it's 9 of swords-esp. in rider waite deck..the figure looks as if he's crying or about to cry-i sense lots of fear and worry in that card..could absolutely indicate self-blame..maybe the person in the card feels the regret of what is said- or what is not said or what should be said...

obsidian_queen	22 Jun 2005
sagitarian, I'm not looking for cards of blame to point fingers at "who did what" in a situation; I brought up the issue so I could better detect where the querent's head is in a reading, even if the querent is ME. As negative a habit as it is, blame, self, or other is an all too human quality. Like it or not it happens, and many times a querent can be caught up in just such a cycle. The tarot will objectively point this out without endorsing either side and will merely display what 'is'. I just wanted to know how to spot it if and when it appears in a reading, then apply the lesson that the cards say needs to be learnt.

rainwolf	22 Jun 2005
I think the devil and the 10 of wands could indicate self blame, as the devil has a theme of guilt/hatred, and the 10w is of burden. Also 4c and 9w. I would look at the order of the cards if in any linnear fashion. If the devil comes first, then i would say guilt causing burdens to self; if 10w first, then burdens causing guilt--you have to make the correct assumption though! 4c is just general disappointment, so any surrounding cards could clarify. The queen of cups seems like the type who would be of this nature in its reversed position.

augursWell	22 Jun 2005
I came up with a spread (Hidden Sorrows spread here in the spreads forum) that had a particular card position that was basically "the blame for the event". It might help to look at the question of "blame" as a position in a spread rather than particular cards, like what caused this. In that context almost any card can indicate what is to blame in a situation. As we discussed in the other thread about the Hidden Sorrows, the querent might rightly or wrongly blame themselves for something that happened and one of the cards is meant to highlight that issue. I also think the 9 Swords can often indicate self-blame or shame. I think the Hanged Man originally (Marseille) was a card of blame or scapegoat. Even the Tower could be an act of blame in the sense of revenge. 4 of Cups maybe also? And the 5 of Swords. Just some ideas... Like I said, I think it is greatly a matter of context in a spread.

Flidais	22 Jun 2005
In The Gill Tarot, the 5 of Cups is titled "Regret." In her discussion of the card, Gill talks about "wallowing in self-recrimination."

iseekserendipity	23 Jun 2005
sagitarian wrote: There are people who choose to focus on whose at fault for what, and often these are petty things. Then there are those who smile and say "now I know". Wisdom can be gained from any experience, it just takes the perception to gain it. i agree with the Obsidian Queen, it can help get insight on what the querent feels. i personally also quite enjoy using a keyword - this is done in a group i belong to - and trying to find what card(s) one would associate with it. it can be quite surprising and enriching and can help one see a card in a new light.

sagitarian	23 Jun 2005
I agree completely that blame, wether the querent feels like their the one to blame, or it's a case of blaming another, regardless, it is a very significant emotional, and mental emotion. Even animals show "guilt" (self blame). Ever came home and your dog places it's tail between it's legs, dips his head down, and is walking cautiously to you, or wanting to come to you, but avoiding coming directly to you? and you instantly know that s/he did something "bad"? Even animals feel this. I agree that it's an emotional state, worth noting, and examining how you can "find" this in tarot for futuristic readings. BUT.... Any card can mean just about anything. You can take the lovers card and find "blame" in it, you can take two of cups and read blame into it, you can take ANY card, tarot or oracle, and find "blame" in it, if blame is in issue with the situation at hand. You'll sense that it's there, and something in the card will speak "blame" to you. It takes the perception to see it, your intuitive ablities to feel it, and interpreting the symbology, and relating it to your own personal truths in order to convey the message of it. However... As I said before, I believe cards point us to insight and wisdom, and although may point out how we internally feel, more times then not, it shows the wisdom you gained from past experiences, how you can relate this wisdom to your current situation, and if things keep going like it is right now, the most likely situation to come. You'll sense "foul play" if someone else is to blame for a situation, like a scandal. You'll sense the awkardness of self blame if it's an emotion that needs to be recognized in a reading. I've only seen this ONCE in 20 yrs of reading, and it also was related to an actual death. The man I was reading for was married, and his wife pregnant. He asked his wife to run an errand for him, and she was hit by a drunk driver, she was killed. In this, he felt like he was the one to blame for her death, if he wouldn't have asked her to go, or if he went instead of her, things would be different. He knows that the drunk driver is also to blame, and all of these issues came up during the reading. It was apart of his past that he still had a lot of healing to do in order to move further on in his life. He ended up curled into a fetal position CRYING his heart out in my lap, and I didn't know him from adam. In any case, I have done readings where this strong emotion of blame is something worth while noting, but the card that showed me this "blame" was two of cups (marriage) and the empress (pregnancy)...something was "wrong"...and finally I was able to name it for what it was, and i started seeing visions in my head about a car crash, and then a hospital. You'll sense it somehow, someway if it's there. I agree that there may be some cards in the deck (what has been mentioned thus far) that may indicate this feeling of blame more then other cards. I honor that you are only trying to further your own studies in tarot, and as I said, it is something worthwhile noting, but just know that any card has the possibility of meaning blame. As well as a few other emotions out there, like love, or hate, and many more. Sagitarian

obsidian_queen	23 Jun 2005
sagitarian, I truly appreciate your in depth take on things...you DO have a point in that you can find blame in almost any card if blame exists in a situation...but I suppose I'm nowhere near as advanced as you are... to be able to immediately sense guilt from the empress and 2 of cups I'd probably have to know something of the person's situation beforehand..and that's like..cheating lol. You seem to be truly psychic, and I'm sure that makes understanding things much easier lol. Me.? gotta work on it. All the same, I learned a lot from your post. Thanks!

sagitarian	24 Jun 2005
Your welcome Obsidian, glad to help out. I just wanted to make sure you weren't deliberately "looking" for blame in the cards, which your not, only studying more possible meanings of some cards. I'm sure you're doing great with your readings thus far, just keep practicing hon, and keep letting your intuition flow. When you turn a card over, pay attention to what first grasps your sight, what sticks out, and really look internally inside yourself for what that is a symbol for. For instance, if you were drawn to a snake in the card, what does a snake mean to you. Is a snake fearsome, or is it comforting? What color is the snake and does that color have any signifigance. This is what I call internal truths. From internal truths comes your intuition. These symbols will speak to you, if you open your emotions, and experiences up to those symbols. These symbols will give you the key to using your natural intuitiveness in conjunction with your cards, or any other divinational tool. Looks, see, feel, and think. Card reading is comparable to a poem. We are often inspired by the beauty of the words in a poem, just as we are seduced by the mystery of divination. We ponder the words in the poem and pull it into ourselves relating our own life to the words. This is exactly what we do with reading cards. At first, it's a bit hard to decipher the meaning, but after we get more accustomed to the flow, we are able to interpret the meanings more clearly. Sagitarian

The Cards that indicate self-blame/blaming others thread was originally posted on 20 Jun 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.