le fey
Step 3: Druidcraft Queen of Swords
"First, describe the emotions and feelings on the card for the character(s) involved and the environment they are within."
The emotions on this card are very rigidly controlled, but they are there. The woman is sitting straight-backed, head high, and seems to be proud of her ability to endure without getting emotional about it. She also seems to be self-protective, eyes slit against the wind, and sword held in front of her like a shield - she isn't on the attack, but in defensive posture. Finally, the sun is dawning behind her and seems to indicate hope, but she's facing away from it - it seems that she knows it exists (she doesn't look like anything slips her attention) but doesn't dare give up her self-control and defensiveness long enough to respond to it.
"Second, repeat this step but put your description in the "first person.""
I have been through a lot, but I never let it make me weak. No matter how dead it is up here by myself, or how long the wind keeps buffeting me, this is my throne and I'm not letting anything force me out of it. I'm ready to go but it'll be on my terms, not because I wasn't strong enough to stay here. I know people think my expression is bitter but it's not that - I hold my head high because I don't want to be weak, and I keep my eyes and mouth narrowed to protect what's inside from the constant wind blowing. I know I could turn away from it and face the sun, but that would be giving up, wouldn't it? If I get out of this throne, who will I be?
"Third, relate a personal and real-life situation which involved similar feelings and qualities which you have just described."
I chose this card because the Queen of Swords has always made me uncomfortable, and yet in the last couple of years she's become 'my' queen. This describes me in the bad days before my marriage ended - things were no longer good at all, it was pretty well just dead trees and stormy winds, but I refused to bring it into an end until I was absolutely positive there was nothing else to do to make it better. The thing is, when things are really, relentlessly bad, all the energy is sucked up in defending against the badness and there is really no room left to try to make it better. When, after a long time of believing that it was a decision I needed to make (and was ready to make...just not yet), he decided to leave, it was both a relief (finally, it's over!) as well as an outrage (he took that decision from me!) but there was a very surprising bit of pride I wasn't all comfortable with, that he was the quitter instead of me.
I'm still not exactly comfortable with this queen, but I think I understand her. When you have nothing left, sometimes you put all of your identity into being strong enough to handle the loss without flinching. (And yes, these days I'm facing that sun)
"First, describe the emotions and feelings on the card for the character(s) involved and the environment they are within."
The emotions on this card are very rigidly controlled, but they are there. The woman is sitting straight-backed, head high, and seems to be proud of her ability to endure without getting emotional about it. She also seems to be self-protective, eyes slit against the wind, and sword held in front of her like a shield - she isn't on the attack, but in defensive posture. Finally, the sun is dawning behind her and seems to indicate hope, but she's facing away from it - it seems that she knows it exists (she doesn't look like anything slips her attention) but doesn't dare give up her self-control and defensiveness long enough to respond to it.
"Second, repeat this step but put your description in the "first person.""
I have been through a lot, but I never let it make me weak. No matter how dead it is up here by myself, or how long the wind keeps buffeting me, this is my throne and I'm not letting anything force me out of it. I'm ready to go but it'll be on my terms, not because I wasn't strong enough to stay here. I know people think my expression is bitter but it's not that - I hold my head high because I don't want to be weak, and I keep my eyes and mouth narrowed to protect what's inside from the constant wind blowing. I know I could turn away from it and face the sun, but that would be giving up, wouldn't it? If I get out of this throne, who will I be?
"Third, relate a personal and real-life situation which involved similar feelings and qualities which you have just described."
I chose this card because the Queen of Swords has always made me uncomfortable, and yet in the last couple of years she's become 'my' queen. This describes me in the bad days before my marriage ended - things were no longer good at all, it was pretty well just dead trees and stormy winds, but I refused to bring it into an end until I was absolutely positive there was nothing else to do to make it better. The thing is, when things are really, relentlessly bad, all the energy is sucked up in defending against the badness and there is really no room left to try to make it better. When, after a long time of believing that it was a decision I needed to make (and was ready to make...just not yet), he decided to leave, it was both a relief (finally, it's over!) as well as an outrage (he took that decision from me!) but there was a very surprising bit of pride I wasn't all comfortable with, that he was the quitter instead of me.
I'm still not exactly comfortable with this queen, but I think I understand her. When you have nothing left, sometimes you put all of your identity into being strong enough to handle the loss without flinching. (And yes, these days I'm facing that sun)