purple_scorp
Hi tink, think we posted at the same time, so I missed your post when adding my comments.tink27 said:Perhaps.....we could say here that truth is found in the balance of order and chaos, of lighting and dark?!? It is almost as if we see a resurrection here....cross....door....serpent!!! Am I stretching this one too far!!
tink
Nup, I don't think you are stretching it at all. And interestingly, I dreamt of a snake last night.
Your reference to anger is also interesting. I don't feel angry at all.....disappointed yes, but not angry. Through the entire 18 months of push me - pull me, I've not felt any anger - only love.
Also interesting your comments on being guided by a higher power. I always believed that me being with this man was for a purpose higher than the sum of the individual parts.
Now, I'm wondering if one of those purposes was to lead me to a soul mate (the metaphoric rabbi - whom I would not have met if I'd not had problems in my r/ship).
Yes, I fully subscribe to the control issue that you spoke about. I don't like surprises - stemming initially from an abandonment issue but mainly because I'm used to being let down. For years I would not tell anybody when my birthday was, because people would forget, and then I'd get upset that I wasn't important enough to be remembered. It was kind of like a self-protection mechanism. If they didn't know it was my birthday, then there was a reason why they forgot! And then, one day, I thought how ridiculous I had been behaving. It was a hollow victory and I was not happy. Yes, there are people out there that will always forget, or have higher priorities than me in their lives. But there are also loving and caring people, who want to share with me. By avoiding everybody, I was denying myself the pleasure of sharing with these wonderful, souls. So, a couple of years ago, I did the complete opposite and told every person I met that day, that it was my birthday. Most of them responded quite favourably - simply by wishing me a happy day. It was very empowering.
The world is certainly interesting......<turns the page>.....hmm, what's going to happen next?
with love
purple_scorp