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squeakmo9  squeakmo9 is offline
Join Date: 13 Feb 2005
Location: Jupiter, ketu
Posts: 6,288

RWS 4 of Pents

What do you need in order to maintain awareness of all 4 pentacles and to keep them in balance and secure?

A high amount of tension and effort. The pent on my head feels like it will topple, so I move my head back and forth to match its motion. The center of the tension is my right arm, if I allow it to give way, all will collapse. A delicate balance, but is it a real balance? So I felt a good amount of aggressive effort needed in maintaining this juggling act.

Now relax as fully without letting go. How can you maintain the greatest stability?
With trust.
I thought those pents were moving…from out beneath my feet, struggling with the center, and a cat and mouse game with the one above. Seems only after I relaxed enough and trusted did they stay in place. The more I struggled, the more they seem to move away.

Imagine taking the middle pentacle into your body while keeping that balance and security. Let your arms relax and fall away…feel the pentacles at your head and feet being absorbed…where in your body is that center pentacle?

In my upper chest, near the shoulders, it caused my back to straighten.

What did you discover?
Upon walking, I noticed I was more careful and mindful in my direction. It was very slow going, but not in a “weighed down” sort of way, just very comfortable. At one point I closed my eyes, stopped and felt the middle pent along with the one in my head turn upward, just slightly. Much like a sun salutation in yoga. My arms hanging freely back. Suddenly I became very emotional because I felt as if a part of me was recognizing that I was not alone. I didn’t feel the need to strive anymore, and awaited Guidance to lead me to those places where I could not “see”. I felt as if a part of me was surrendering and it felt good.

I’ve always felt the need to strive, that if I did not fight to get and keep something, it would surely be taken away. Never thought to look to or ask help from a Higher power, always felt I was alone in all of my struggles. Now that I think about it, I probably was, because I had blocked the Creative from my life with all my fears and doubts.

RWS 5 of Swords

I took the stance of the biggest man with all the swords. Again lots of tension, and anger. Why so angry? Am I not the winner?
I hold 2 swords in my left, I can hear the clinking noise as I shake. I hold another sword to earth in my right. This is the one I steady myself with. Like my stance just isn’t good enough. Left shoulder up, head looking back, no trust. Tense and defensive. Should have felt secure with all those swords, but by the way I stare at those 2, feels like I’m expecting to be ambushed. Adversity seems to have no productive means, can’t seem to think straight.

I don’t think I’ve ever trusted the natural flow of life or have given enough merit to the adversity that I have faced. Many times it was the tough times that helped me gain character and proper perspective. I do so appreciate those times more and more and I underestimated this exercise. I’m glad I did it.
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