5 of swords as a person

zayats

I keep getting 5 of swords in positions directly referring to a person, namely someone I will "end up with"; this can be called, depending on the spread "true love", "what is this person (the one I will end up with) like" etc.

I think I can see how this card can relate to personality but I'm not sure I'm right. I would take it as someone being very self-confident and standing their ground. They need to have the last word, always have to win. They are very direct and are able to see things for what they are, they don't really fear things, they see problems as challenges. All very well, I definitely see how positive these qualities can be, but they rather put me off than attract me in romantic terms, so I am in doubt whether my interpretation of the 5 is correct.

And how do you see 5 of swords representing a person?
 

Alta

I would see it as someone ruthless.

As a person, this is someone who will see things right through to the end. That is, not someone who will quit part was through, so from that point of view for you, when they commit, they commit.
 

Glass Owl

Here is something that I posted over in the 5 of Swords - the downside thread.

starrystarrynight said:
That sort of makes sense, since the Five of Swords is the "Pyrrhic Victory" card: you have won this battle or war, but at what real cost to you? (Is it a true victory?)
Over at nytimes.com they published an interview on 9/29/09 with Deborah Dunsire, M.D., president and chief executive of Millennium: The Takeda Oncology Company. The topic was about managing and leading.

As I read one of the questions posted to Ms. Dunsire, as well as her response, I was struck by how it relates to this thread about the five of swords.
nytimes said:
Q. What have you learned to do less of?

A. Every strength, taken to extreme, becomes a weakness, so you have to manage your strengths effectively. One of my strengths came from my father, who used to, just for sport, engage in debates over the dinner table.

He would always take a position that he knew would get a rise out of me, like whether Communism was the right answer for the world or whatever it was, and I would take the bait. He taught me to argue a position and we would go at it. He also taught me how to argue to win and just be relentless in building the argument until there was no room for the opposition. That helps you be very analytical, very logical and very articulate and succinct, which are all strengths.

So when a person is presenting a position, I’ll find any flaws in the logic. But when you’re senior and the other person is more junior, it becomes inappropriate to always point them out because it shuts down that person’s ability to discuss.

So I learned to ask questions in a different way, because the feedback I got was that I just laser in on the flaws in the argument and start peeling them down and that feels very uncomfortable. So I learned to say, in a certain situation, not that the logic was flawed, but rather that, “You know, maybe this is not ready for prime time yet.”

The last thing you want to do is really destroy somebody. I think that ability to argue and win would be better suited to a criminal courtroom than a business setting. There’s nothing wrong with the strength of being able to do that. The trick is how you manage that in the situation you’re in.
Here is a link for the full article.

I think that Ms. Dunsire's comments highlight a key positive and well as negative aspect of a 5 of swords personality.

Being very analytical as well as articulate can translate into easy victories in the boardroom as well as outside of it; however, achieving success that way can come at a costly price... hurting others as well as themselves. The 5 of swords personalities can end up finding themselves celebrating their victories all by themselves if they misuse or abuse their formidable, powerful ability.
 

Mellifluous

i've been thinking lately, there's something about this person being a survivor. maybe they've faced a lot of defeats or no win situations and chosen to walk away eventually, held held high, and get on with other things with determination and even optimism. sort of, taking their dignity back, taking the high road. defeated sometimes but not conquered or destroyed themselves.

basically, a tough cookie and a survivor. because bad stuff does happen in life and people have no choice about that, however 'attractive' or 'unattractive' it may be. that's reality.
 

WalesWoman

You might check out astrological correlations with 5 Swords, it could be the time span of their birthday.

But I'd think it is some sort of person who has to win at all costs, always proving they have more or are on top... probably hypercritical or condescending. Always has justifications and reasons why it's never their fault and every one else is a loser. Probably doesn't have many friends left, but has no clue why.
 

Thirteen

As you can see from these answers, it depends on which figure in the card we're talking about. The guy walking away from the "bully" (perhaps card-shark is more apropos) who has just won his swords, or the card-shark with the swords. The guy who always wins the arguments is clever, sharp, relentless and is fixing the game, as it were, to make sure he wins. The guy who has lost is someone who felt he had to enter into this battle--he might well have fought fairly, and even though the win demoralized him, he still felt he was unable to walk away from it (both a good and a bad quality--it means, if he's your true love, that he won't give up when he comes after you--but you're going to have to teach him to pick his battles).

But why not help yourself with this? Take out the 5/Swords, shuffle the deck and as the deck if it can tell you in some other way what your true love will be like. Pull out a card and put it over the 5/Swords. See what you get. It might help make it clearer what type of "true love" is for you.

Edited to add: of you might be getting this card over and over again to tell you to stop asking this question over and over again. Because it is a losing argument. The cards aren't going to tell you. ;)
 

starrystarrynight

All good answers above. Here is another thought looking at the number five and the suit of swords:

Maybe this will be someone who will jar and change YOUR thought processes, make you think and look at things in a whole new way; thereby, being a person who enlightens you in surprising ways...Someone who always makes you think and is not above arguing with you over issues he feels he is right about. i.e. not a shrinking violet when it comes to conflict of any kind.
 

zayats

Thank you for your answers - all very helpful.

I have to admit when I saw this card first in a reading like those I quoted I instantly felt it was my boyfriend. It is just that I don't particularly like this card, and maybe wish he would be represented by something else. As it is, I probably thought something like "gosh, so he is really is 5 of swords, like I've always thought, more than anything else (anything that other cards would represent)".

All the qualities you mentioned in this thread make perfect sense. Glass Owl, thank for that bit - what Ms Dunsire describes sounds very familiar.

Alta, what you said about commitment resonates here as well.

Mellifuous, I do agree it is about being a survivor and maintaining your dignity. This is not what I meant by unattractive quality. What I mean is I don't like it when in friendly setting someone sees any topic as a challenge rather than an opportunity to get closer. In some ways this 5 of swords is undesireable to me in a close relationship, in which it is empathy that should be prominent.

What starrystarrynight said makes perfect sense here - my boyfriend absolutely shook my perspective on man-woman interaction, I mean never before had I come across so much "opposition" to my ideas. I mean whenever he has a different opinion than me, be it a trivial matter or a matter of taste, he will express it without hesitation and not even ask what I think or not openly consider/recognise mine (he says he does consider it, of course, but somehow, erm, cannot show it...).

WalesWoman, I don't know where to check those correlations. I know that the sword suit is the air signs, and as such, it makes sense, as he's a Gemini.

Thirteen, I did as you suggested and the clarifying card was queen of pentacles. Hmm, I always thought I was the queen of pentacles :) Well, as for a male represented by 5 of swords it might be someone realistic, grounded, practical and hard-working, which he is. Sensual and nature-loving fit less, I think.
 

Thirteen

zayats said:
Thirteen, I did as you suggested and the clarifying card was queen of pentacles. Hmm, I always thought I was the queen of pentacles :) Well, as for a male represented by 5 of swords it might be someone realistic, grounded, practical and hard-working, which he is. Sensual and nature-loving fit less, I think.
I think the cards are simply making clear to you that the 5/Swords IS your boyfriend (and why were you asking about a "true love" if you have a boyfriend?).

More than that, however the deck might not be answering your questions--it might, instead, be trying to get you to hear a very important message about yourself, your boyfriend and your relationship. It's done that already if it's made you look at 5/Swords and admit that your boyfriend is like that, instead of trying to pretend he's not.

So now it's urging you to look at both cards and see how they fit or don't fit or could better fit together. I think you need to stop asking about "true love," as if some new guy is going to appear and save the day, and start looking at what you have here and now, and how it can be made better.

How does he need to change to be a better fit for the Queen/Pents and how do you need to change to be a better fit for the Sword guy he is and likely always will be? Take out both cards, lay them side by side, and ask THAT dual question, putting down a card under each--one to tell you, Q/P how to better make yourself this guy's "true love" and one under his card, the better to tell him how to make himself your "true love."

Because what you two are now is what you are now. The cards say you *can* be each others true love. But you might not be there yet. Not until you're both willing to change a bit to be a better fit for each other.
 

zayats

Thanks, Thirteen :) Great info here!

I did as you told me and got 6 of cups for what I can do to better become his true love and page of swords for what he can do. Only when I read those cards paired with the card representing the other person can I make some sense of them. Perhaps I should show more appreciation for his "victories", show joy and warmth whenever he's winning... Or I should get more sentimental, not sure. As for him, I have no idea, coupled with the queen this page looks like he may be her child, full of energy and optimism, perhaps doing some things so that the mother can feel proud. Or maybe he should show he is open to criticism and actually takes my ideas to heart. No, I'm not really sure about this interpretation... Can you help?

ETA: I saw you edited the post asking the reasons I asked about true love when I have a boyfriend. Well, there's been a crisis and things were up in the air. Complicated. Even though we are together, I feel I don't know him that well as most of my friends, and it is not just a matter of time. He is special and I kind of fail to understand his essence so to speak, or how we really function together. The situation has been blurred, many misunderstandings, I still can't grasp some things, so I didn't know what's real, and what's an illusion.