10 of Cups - a wrong thing to do

I did a reading last week to reflect on myself as a mother. I have been having a difficult time with my daughter who started to live with me several months ago after two years of separation.

I had 5 cards all together, but I just can't understand the 10 of Cups showed up to indicate what I am doing wrong. And it is so important I get this because this is what I need to work on improving as a mom.

Am I wanting a "perfect" family?
Am I not counting small blessings as a mother?
My focus is not on the family?

Could you please help understand this?

Thanks

I am wondering which deck you used?

Maybe it is suggesting some sort of guilt you are inflicting on yourself in regards to the separation? That you should not beat yourself up that you didnt have that so called "perfect" family life for two years?
Would that make sense?

I think your first to points are quite good, are you not counting the small blessings? Do you believe your family should be perfect?
No one is perfect we have to do the best we can.

Hi,

What was the very, very first interpretation that passed through your mind when you saw the 10 of cups? This is usually the meaning that is meant for you.

Perhaps you're striving for the 'perfect' family, a goal that is almost impossible to attain, and the striving could make things worse? (this was the first meaning you listed, so I assume it was the first one you thought.) Sometimes we just have to accept situations as they are.

When I do readings for myself, I often can see many different shades of meaning for an 'unexpected' card, and I usually go through them all, until I realize it was the very, very first, fleeting meaning that went through my head, and not the ones the 'peanut' gallery starts to conjure up. (The peanut gallery being my inner critic).

Shaymus

Perhaps, if you post the whole reading below in the Your Readings section, you will get more food for thought about this card, which you have taken out of the context of a reading. As such, the rest of the cards in the spread will probably greatly contribute to its meaning for you for the situation you are reading about.

I use the Marseilles ten of cups which, to me, is the epitome of the 'full cup'.... tenfold. If the position is one of 'what am I doing wrong' then perhaps there is an obstacle which prevents that kind of happiness, and you are probably the only person who will have an inkling as to what that may be. It could be a clash of personalities, some regret, being too possessive... or a number of other meanings depending on your situation.

Don't take this card in isolation though, it can be played down, or up depending on the cards around it.

http://www.learntarot.com/mrc10.gif

I agree with Ambrosia. I think the 10/Cups is telling you that what you're doing wrong as a mother is setting the bar too high for what you expect the results of your good mothering to be. That is, you assume that if you do everything right, the result will be a warm, close, loving family. And that's really expecting too much...at least at this point in time.

It's also important to see that what you do or don't do isn't the only thing that's going to create such results. You could be the most wonderful mother on Earth and still not have this blissful family, where everyone is happy, content and feels loved. Everyone in a family has to work for that goal as well for it to happen. You, alone, can't magically make this happen.

And that, perhaps, is an even more important message than to caution you not to expect too much at this juncture. You're already worried about messing up, and you can't live or succeed like that. You do the best that you can do. And, as you yourself pointed out, be happy with the good results however small. To look at your family or relationship with your daughter and only see that the results of your efforts fall short of your ultimate goal is to always be disappointed in family, daughter and yourself. And to rob yourself of any deserved pats-on-the-back for being a good mom.

I definately agree the above two posts. The card needs to be read in context, with the other cards in the layout.
Were the other cards positive? Were they negative? Yes I agree you should post the whole reading in "your readings".

But am still wondering which deck you used.

Thank you for your response.
I am sorry, I forgot to mention - It was Fantastic Menagerie.

Guilt feeling, I think I worked through that. I used to feel bad that I hadn't been able to be there with her. But I soon realized I couldn't keep that as an excuse for her.
Yes, I tend to want to have a harmonious relationship(of any kind)... so, that could be that. But I don't think I want everyone perfect, because I am far from perfect.. there is no such a thing as "perfect". I understand that. Maybe I am hoping for my perfect image of family somewhere...

The problems with my daughter is that she is acting this tough, you can't control me type of attitude... I understand a teenager going through this stage. But we are constantly arguing.. she is constantly yelling.. she's never home.. she doesn't come home.. I get worried.. it's tiring.

So this is why I wanted to do a reading.
and it shows that 10 of cups is what I am doing wrong! uhg.

Shaymus.. when I saw the image of 10 of cups, I saw a mom with a bread and a knife.. reading to cut for her little ones. It just makes me feel good. I have to think some more on it.

while I was typing up a reply, more have posted. Thank you so much! I will read them now.

Ah ha. Maybe she feels like--she's a big girl, she can cut her own bread now.