I don't know if dreams when you're sick count

[Grizabella]

I usually don't remember my dreams and if I do, I soon forget them, but since I've been sick and having this rash, I've had some vivid dreams and this time I decided to write it down as soon as I woke up.

I was sitting in a pasture under an old, gnarly fruit tree of some sort that was dead. I was decorating a pretty little trinket box for my next Nonny package and really happy with how it was going. I heard something and looked to the left. Coming toward me was a half-grown white buffalo calf with curly dark hair on the top of its head. I was raised on a farm so I know calves of any species can get kind of rowdy at that age so when it kept coming and then stopped with its head down and tail switching, I dropped the little box and quickly climbed the little tree, which wasn't much taller than what the calf could reach standing below it and could have reached my feet if he stood on his hind feet, but he didn't do that. He just stood there switching his tail and looking defiantly at me.

From the right came my youngest son hurrying up in his jeep and the calf backed off a little bit. My son told me to climb down into the jeep but when I tried to, the calf came at me again, so he told me to go back up the tree where the calf couldn't bite me. Now, calves and other bovine types aren't in the habit of biting that much, but this one did try to bite my foot as I went back up the tree as much as I could. My son said something about "If you change their routine at meal times, they get confused and forget about what they were set on doing, so we'll try that."

Pretty soon he and a couple other guys came down a little chute, herding a bunch of these buffalo into another field, presumably to confuse the issue so I could get down from the tree when my son came back to get me, but I decided I might as well just make a run for it down the chute and get out of there without waiting for him. Well, as I got to the chute, I ran right over the top of another calf who had been lying down but I hadn't seen it (a tan one, not a white one) and to get away from that one, I scrambled up on top of a little sort of half-height hot-house thing, barely out of reach of that calf.

Then the dream ended. Throughout the whole thing, I was never afraid. Like I said, I was raised on a farm and I just know the signs of when a bull calf is going to be ornery. Unless you want to get head butted and trampled over, you just get up out of the way real quick.

Just thought I'd post this to see if anyone has any insight on it.

[Grizabella]

I just wanted to add that even though I do know the legend of the white buffalo calf, it's never been anything particularly outstanding in my mind, so I'm not sure why I dreamed of one. I've never dreamed of one before. I know that there's a legend of the White Buffalo Calf Woman who brought the first pipe to one of the tribes, and I've read some news clips now and then about a white calf being born here and there in the US in recent years, but that's all.

[.traveller.]

Originally Posted by Grizabella

I was sitting in a pasture under an old, gnarly fruit tree of some sort that was dead.

Out of everything, this stood out for me the most. Since you've been sick, have you been comtemplating your mortality? The above quote just really speaks to me of a meditative state where you look at where you are now and what is to come. That whole past, present, future thing.
That old dead tree still has some use though, it got you out of danger's way. In that sense it may point to your life experience and the wisdom you've accrued, it's still relevant but maybe you feel that no one is listening. Since it no longer grows or produces, perhaps there is some stagnancy at work in your life.
Since you decided to "make a move", perhaps there is something you are considering that would be a change for you (from the tree to the hot house).

That's about all I could come up with.

[Grizabella]

That's very interesting. Sometimes I do contemplate my mortality, but actually right now I've resolved that pretty much and moved on. Maybe it just went underground and came out in my dream. Thank you so much for your input.

[Milfoil]

Sitting suggests inactivity in the sense of life path or direction and even though you are making something for someone else, its not an activity which is giving you much other than satisfaction.

The old, dead fruit tree suggests several possibilities:

a) Cronehood, the time past fertility
b) The tree of life (of your own ancestry) is no longer fruitful or nourishing you.
c) A feeling of stagnation and the death of that part of oneself which connects to all things.

The white buffalo calf is peevish and looking to rouse you from your sitting, make you MOVE! The dream did make you remember the White Buffalo Calf myth so perhaps this is part of it.

Others can't really help you, not family or friends, at the end of the day, you have to take a leap of faith and move yourself out of the way.

If this were my dream I would be looking at what in my life nourishes my soul, what connects me to my heritage, ancestors and roots, what actions would I need to take to get myself into a place of positive power and true joy.

Hope this helps.

[Grizabella]

That's very keen of you, Milfoil. I think you could be very right. I'll have to do some serious thinking about all these points. These two girls are very close to being on their own now. McKenzie is planning to move out and go to beauty college in December or thereabouts. Christine is almost 16 now, which is also an age where kids are getting very independent. When my first four kids were grown, my husband was still alive and we had lots of plans what we were going to do next, but that was nearly 20 years ago, he's gone now, my health has changed a lot, and I've been thinking lately a lot about what I'm going to do next. I haven't decided which direction to go in yet. Quite honestly, it's a feeling of being sort of at loose ends because it's always seemed like this day was never going to come so I just didn't think about it much at all. When you raise as many kids as this, there becomes the feeling that that's what life will always be, kind of. Hard to explain. At least that's how it felt for me.

Sometimes I think, "Well, I could always open the door just a crack on having another man in my life and having a companion to make these plans with", but just as quickly on the heels of that thought comes "No! I definitely am not interested in doing that at my age!" Seriously, I do NOT want to do that. So then comes the wondering what I really will do for the rest of my time on this earth.

You know how, when a tree is old and something has either cut or broken off the top of it and then branches have grown out lower, the stump is still there but the bark kind of makes a curled-in rounded edge around the stump? It's hard to explain. Well, as I looked down to be sure the calf couldn't get at my feet, I saw that that's how this tree was. It makes sort of a little bowl there. So the tree wasn't hollow but there was a sort of bowl there. Maybe that's me, feeling just the beginnings of a hollowing but not actually, you know?

Anyway, I think you've made some good points. Maybe that little buffalo calf symbolized that I'll always work with my Native American crafts and be involved with my heritage. There's no question to me that I wouldn't. It's a part of me. I was thinking the other night about how many tribes there are represented in my family and it's quite a lot. Cherokee on my father's side, unknown on my maternal grandmother's side even though we know it's there, and then Yurok, more Cherokee, Sioux---because we've also had marriages among people of other tribes. So that's a very deeply ingrained involvement for me. But then I also write, paint, sculpt----and I dearly love to travel. So that must be where the dream came from as you say, Milfoil.

And .traveller., you're certainly right that at my age, thoughts of one's own mortality do play a big part at times. For awhile it was bothering me but I've resolved that pretty much now. So you were right on about that, too.