Wow creepy dream.

[Siochanai]

Ok I am at a total loss to this dream at the moment. So I decided I will post it up here as I just woke up and it is fresh in my mind. This way hopefully we can figure out what this is getting at. It may dawn on me while I am at work analyzing it who knows but right now it feels cryptic.

First thing I noticed is two individuals I have seen in a previous dream are here. The vampire one. But in this dream they are not vampires.

The dream started with a black haired female I would say in her twenties running and breaking through doors of a secret passage. She was wearing what appeared to be a white nightgown of some sort. Again I know this person from my dreams I saw her when I was 16 then again last month in another dream now this one. This part felt almost like a flashback of some sort because then I was in a bedroom of a house I don't recognize.

There were two beds in the room. Laying facing the foot off the left bed head propped up on elbows and hands was a female with reddish brown hair (like the color of cinnamon) with a fair complexion in normal everyday clothes. On the right bed laying facing the headboard was the black haired girl with her head propped up on one hand and elbow. Like as if you were laying on your side holding your head up while you read a book.

These girls actually have names!. The reddish haired girls name is Amanda and then black haired girls name is Diana. (this is weird why names now?) I have a feeling of attraction towards both girls but am very strongly drawn to Diana over Amanda. I felt that these two girls were fighting over me but ultimately waiting for my decision. I gave each girl a kiss Diana's was very passionate but Amanda's was very timid. Afterwards Amanda starting yelling at me and I was not sure why.

Now I flash forward walking down a street in an argument with Amanda over my decision that I assume I have not yet made because I feel like I was telling her we just have to see how things go I am not sure yet. Then I gave her what looked like a gold ring (just a plain gold ring) and told her to relax I have a lot of things to figure out regarding this situation.

This entire time I have a huge strong attraction and desire to be with Diana I am not sure why. Then I woke up.

Sorry for the long wall of text. It was a very detailed dream yet again. First and foremost I want to make it clear I am not a wooer of women. I am not in a relationship of any sort I tend to prefer isolating myself to my studies and research. Yea I know I am a nerd. I tend to avoid social situations. I have been this way for a long time the last girl friend I had was in high school 8 years ago and that ended because I graduated. Also for some reason I feel there is more to this dream then what I am seeing on the surface and it is not particularly associated with relationships but something a little deeper.

[Starshower]

Hello. What makes you call this dream 'creepy'? All dreams are irrational, as they rise up from our unconscious, bypassing our censorship & our reason - though we usually rationalise and reconstruct them in the telling, once we are awake and our logical, conscious minds are switched on. So bear in mind that when telling the dream (just like most memories even) you were filling in gaps, making things fit what you thought they might have been. We forget soo quickly! Anyway, it doesn't sound at all "creepy" or scary or numinous to me.

Your description of the two contrasting girls, and your potentially amorous choice between them, reminds me forcibly of the Rider-Waite-Smith Lovers card (in the major arcana). This card features a timid, fair, innocent girl and a dark-haired, more vigorous-looking woman, and a young man poised between them. Interesting!

If, as you say, there was no obvious erotic feeling in the dream, then it seems to me to be about your choosing between personas within yourself ... how you choose to present and express yourself to the world. And there are hidden aspects yet to be discovered.

You go on to say how you tend to retreat into your studies, don't socialise or court women much, etc, & describe yourself semi-apologetically as a 'nerd' - so your self-image obviously is important to you, as is totally normal.

These girls could represent contrasting aspects of your personality, and how & who you want to be, if only in fantasy.
One girl looks ordinary, in "normal, everyday clothes", and the other a stereotype of melodrama, with her raven-black hair and white night-robe, like a teen-movie heroine or character from Mills & Boon! Rather bold & swashbuckling.
I don't know whether the timidity of your kiss with Amanda & the passion of the kiss with Diana came from you, or from them. But either way, it shows where your keenness lies!

So I see this dream as playing out (in disguise) your subconscious decision-making about how 'ordinary' you want to be, as opposed to how dramatic, dashing & daring. The latter qualities are shown by the dark girl running down secret passages, smashing through doors ... i.e. breaking down your mental, social & emotional barriers / barriers of fear / self-imposed, subconscious blocks to being & showing your full self as you mature & develop, in the 'secret passage' of your unconscious mind ...

Any use? Or am I missing the mark? It's so hard to get the full 'feel' of a dream across accurately to anyone outside our own heads, but I hope my remarks may be a bit useful. lol. Have fun working it all out!

[Siochanai]

I think you actually hit the nail on the head. I hope I did not fill in gaps as I wrote it as soon as I woke up so I did not have time to think about it. But you are right. I would love to be normal and social.

As for the lover smack on that is my zodiac trump. I think Amanda is my fear of putting myself out there as a truly am far from what society would consider normal. I think I scare people away with my intellect and the way I perceive them. I think Diana is telling me I am not alone. Every time I see her I am taking her hand but this time it was sealed with a passionate kiss. Maybe I should try to meditate on the livers and se what she has to say to me.

As for what makes it creepy. Diana had no name for ten years. Why now. As for Amanda she has only been in my dreams for two months and only there when Diana is. I have asked over and over and over with no answer what her name was. Now all of a sudden there is a name after all. She has been with me so long nameless it is hard to take in.

[Amanda_04]

Well, names have meaning too. Did you know that Amanda means "Worthy of Love" or "Lovable" ?

I just looked up Diana for you and it means "Divine".

Probably a message here about how you love yourself... you said Amanda is timid in your dream, and you reject her for Diana, the exciting and adventurous girl. Perhaps you are rejecting your timid, nerdy self and not loving it for what it is or accepting it as a divine part of you.

http://www.name-meanings.com/search.php

[Siochanai]

Wow a bit awkward an Amanda posting in a thread about an Amanda and Diana.

Actually thank you very much for that input it was very helpful.

I understand and respect that Amanda and Diana are parts of my self.

Hard to get in-depth due to being on my phone but Diana has been with me for a long time she has been there from the begining it is only in my nature to readily accept her right off the bat and she is indeed Divine. I feel that in Crowley terms she is my HGA. My permanent guardian and guide. In other words I am starting to feel she is my personal deity that chose to be with me from the beginning. Amanda is something new. Something that has never been an issue till now and I feel Diana is telling me it is ok hence her bringing her along. I do feel my analytical self getting in the way of my spiritual journey. This is why I think I gave Amanda the gold ring and said don't worry I just need more time to sort things out.

[Amanda_04]

Originally Posted by Siochanai

Wow a bit awkward an Amanda posting in a thread about an Amanda and Diana.

One of my best friends growing up was a very intelligent and timid Gemini girl named Amanda. Our middle names were the same except for one letter, and we were always next to each other in classes and by lockers because her last name started with Ly, and mine Ma. LOL Very weird.

Actually thank you very much for that input it was very helpful.

I understand and respect that Amanda and Diana are parts of my self.

Hard to get in-depth due to being on my phone but Diana has been with me for a long time she has been there from the begining it is only in my nature to readily accept her right off the bat and she is indeed Divine. I feel that in Crowley terms she is my HGA. My permanent guardian and guide. In other words I am starting to feel she is my personal deity that chose to be with me from the beginning. Amanda is something new. Something that has never been an issue till now and I feel Diana is telling me it is ok hence her bringing her along. I do feel my analytical self getting in the way of my spiritual journey. This is why I think I gave Amanda the gold ring and said don't worry I just need more time to sort things out.

Well I think you're on to something with that. And that's not my way of copping out of this discussion, but I do believe you really have to go with what the dream compels you to feel and how you relate to it. The first dream I had about my spirit animal, I felt certain that's what it was and that it wasn't symbolizing too much of anything else except that it was there with me to guide and protect. Maybe it's the same with Diana and she is compelling you to do something out of your ordinary that's safe (Amanda).

[Starshower]

Yes, I too was thinking about the names: Amanda meaning "to be loved" or "worthy of love", and Diana being the moon goddess of hunting, also connected to Dionysus - a very DYNAMIC vibe, like that of the girl in your dream!
I love your interpretation of the difference between the two and how you gave the gold ring of eternity to Amanda, but knew you had things to work out with Diana first ... maybe becoming more proactive & 'out there', while knowing, deep within, that your worthiness of love need not shout as it will always be there.

The word "psyche" for soul, or inner self, or spirit, is a goddess - hence feminine - so no wonder these two sides of yours were represented as women.

I love Amanda_04's description of the importance of accepting and valuing all sides of yourself. And the fascinating story about your Gemini namesake at school! Did you stay in touch? Is she in any way your alter ego, I wonder?

[Siochanai]

Yes it really is amazing. Like I stated I am going to have to find time to meditate on the lovers my zodiac card I be a Gemini too. I am bad at meditation but maybe it will work this time.