ok i did this... and WOW... very interesting. STILL de de de.. need to learn to trust myself!!! and my intuitions and wants and desires!
1. what do i bring to the relationship: Prince of Cups. I pring love, and gentleness and kindess
2. Where I am now in relation to my lover/ex now: 4 of Pentacles. Well we just broke up and my security in life is so in question here. I want to keep things the same.. not have to move out...for us to not have to sepperate. I wish to hold onto her.
3 What i want out of the relationship: 3 of Cups. ...i want a wedding celebration.. i want joy and happiness with her.
4 What does she bring to the relationship: 9 of wands... i'm a bit confused.. I see this card as standing alone... or working very hard. So maybe she brings hard work to the relationship...she deffinatly makes me work for it so to speak.
5. What she gets out of the relationship: Wisdom/High priestess its the same card: This is a major learning experience for her. She's learning a lot about herself...even if she doesn't want to. She wants to hide from herself.
6. What she hopes to get out of the relationship: 7 of wands... Ok i'm stumped.. is this saying she likes to argue? Or i sometimes see this card as too much demand on attention... so is she hoping for me to spend less attention on her????
7. How I see her now. : King of wands.. Being a bit irrational, needing to bask in freedom and be irrisponcible. *I don't know why i see the King of Wands as irrisponcible.. i just invision the ultimae Viking King/War Lord.. the need to pillage and rape and drink... so to speak. I feel like she wants to go party... I call this cycle with her...SINGLE FEVER! her friends...the ones who aren't married.. are all single..and she wants to go party again...
8. How she sees me now.: 4 of Swords.. .i think she knows i need to heal from teh breakup..and I'm going on vacation on tuesday...she left today for her own vacation...both were booked before we broke up. But also i've been mostly unemployed for the past year and a half and she HATES IT!!! Thinks i'm being lazy because i can't find work.
9 how I saw her when we met: Feminine...warm....vibrant... someone you just want to be near.
10. How she saw me: Magicain.. capable...magical.. strong...
11. My insecurities :10 of Pents.. well i'm unemployed..and i do doubt myself a lot..
12. her insecurities: 7 of swords...she doesn't want to have to feel vulnerable...she wants to burry and hide and sneak away from her issues.. i also see this card as having b uilt up too many personal defences...causing no one to be able to get through.
13. External Influences on me : 9 of pentacles. She wants me to move out on my own.. and i'm going to have to and it SUCKS! she wants me to feel like i can stand on my own two feet again.
14, External Influences on her :King of Swords.. shes too much in her head... and out of her body.. she feels cold inside... like a shell...but also feels like she's spoken...and thus it must be.
15. Out Come :Fool/BEGININGS. Well to me..the fool is a bout the leap of faith. I need to take the leap of faith that if i go..she will miss me. I had a moment the other day..where i totally saw my Julia Roberts in Pretty WOman moment. She will come and try to convince me that I should be with her...wich duhhhh i've told her that all along.. silly dyke! (dyke comment not intended to offend.. it's a prahse my friends and I use... it is an endearment..but think of the Trix commericals..Silly Rabbit)
16. Clarifyer.. ok i felt i needed to ask what this new begining for us/our relationship would be... <3 2 OF CUPS!!!! so eventually it will be us together again i feel.
I jus thate the time off..
anyway thats my take on things... and how i interpreted the layout of the spread. I post this if anyone feels like they need a reference point
This is NOT here to ask for interpretation... just so that people can see a reading if they feel like they needed it.