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Trogon 
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Codependency spread


Okay... here is my first attempt at creating my own Tarot spread.

I have been thinking about creating a spread for delving into a co-dependent type relationship. Something along the lines of the relationship between a child (now grown) and an abusive parent. This was with the idea of helping the now grown child to understand the relationship she/he grew up with and to begin or further the healing process. Anyway, here's what I came up with...

..............7
...........8....9
.......1............2
....5....3......4....6

The spread is in the shape of a pyramid which is made up of 3 smaller pyramids. The lower left trio of cards relates to the Querrent (the now grown child). The lower right trio of cards relates to the parent.

1=Querrent's self image
2=Parent's self image
3=How querrent feels about parent
4=How parent feels about querrent
5=Outside influences on querrent
6=Outside influences on parent
7=Present situation
8=Advice for querrent
9=Outcome (where things might progress from here)

This spread could, I think, also be used for a marital-type relationship. In that situation you would substitute "spouse" for "parent". I would think that it would also work for a younger person who still lives at home, perhaps helping them to begin the healing process?

So... whadaya think? I haven't actually tried this out yet...

(edited to fix colors of spacers...)



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allibee 
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I was just wonderiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnng ......

... if the 5 and 6 were not superflous, and instead to make it a diamond shape with at the bottom of the diamond - under 3 and 4, aligned with 7.........

one card that is the root/originator of their present situation/relationship????

It's just I prefer to get to the crux of the matter without anything not immediately neccesary getting in the way.... hence the reason I really loathe the CC....

now there is no reason why you could not later use a clarifier for outside influences on each, but from the perspective of the younger person, possibly the outside influences on them are not neccesary if they have been the abused one, whereas it may be more important to see what outside stress or pressure may have made the abuser act like they do.

Just a thought.....

Anyway, let us know how you get on with it , either way

allibee
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Trogon 
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Quote:
Originally posted by allibee
It's just I prefer to get to the crux of the matter without anything not immediately neccesary getting in the way.... hence the reason I really loathe the CC....

now there is no reason why you could not later use a clarifier for outside influences on each, but from the perspective of the younger person, possibly the outside influences on them are not neccesary if they have been the abused one, whereas it may be more important to see what outside stress or pressure may have made the abuser act like they do.
Hmmm... very good points. Especially about the outside influences on the younger person. However, I was thinking I wanted something which was a little more wide ranging, giving a more in-depth understanding of what had occured. My thought was that, frequently, when a person seeks to understand what has occured during their childhood, it might be helpful to identify these other influences.

Another of my goals was something which could help repair a relationship, if that were possible. In this case outside influences which might either help, or hinder the relationship would be something one would want identified.

However, after your inquiry I thought perhaps a review of those 2 cards (#5 & 6) might be in order. I'll think it over and see what I come up with...



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"A famous person once said; 'you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time' ... but, as I (an even more famous person) say; 'if you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like!'"
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Trogon 
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Re: Codependency spread


Okay... after pondering over what allibe suggested, I have come up with this modification:

..............6
...........7....8
.......1............2
..........3......4
..............5


1=Querrent's self image
2=Parent's self image
3=How querrent feels about parent
4=How parent feels about querrent
5=Roots of the situation
6=Present situation
7=Advice for querrent
8=Outcome (where things might progress from here)

Comments? I still haven't tried this yet... alas day-to-day things get in the way sometimes...



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"A famous person once said; 'you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time' ... but, as I (an even more famous person) say; 'if you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like!'"
[Max Headroom]

Last edited by Trogon; 15-12-2002 at 20:02.
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allibee 
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hmmm, I personally feel more affinity with that new layout now, it seems more linear and streamlined, but please don't change what you wanted to do just on my account....like, who's mad enough to listen to me???

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Trogon 
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Quote:
Originally posted by allibee
hmmm, I personally feel more affinity with that new layout now, it seems more linear and streamlined, but please don't change what you wanted to do just on my account....like, who's mad enough to listen to me???
LOL!!

Well... I've done worse...



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"A famous person once said; 'you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time' ... but, as I (an even more famous person) say; 'if you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like!'"
[Max Headroom]
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Thumbs up Co-dependancy Spread.


Hi All......
I'm Epona, and though I don't post much, I'd just like to say that I love the idea for this spread!.
In fact, it's right up my street, because I've had a co-dependant relationship with my mother all my life, which in the past five years, as mum's gotten old(73), has seen this dependancy deepen, but also a role reversal.

Like six months back when my mum fell and broke her hip/pelvis, I became her sole carer, and she became dependant on *me*.

I'm just wondering about looking at the aspect of what each person needs/ or hopes to get from their relationship with the other?.

Also, what do you all think about co-dependant relationships?. Are they negative (unhealthy) or positive (growth) in nature?.

Hope this question isn't going a tad off-topic <grins>.....just interested in the possibilities this spread could offer.
Thanks for a thought provoking spread!.



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Trogon 
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Re: Co-dependancy Spread.


Quote:
Originally posted by Eponaz
I'm just wondering about looking at the aspect of what each person needs/ or hopes to get from their relationship with the other?.

Also, what do you all think about co-dependant relationships?. Are they negative (unhealthy) or positive (growth) in nature?.

Hope this question isn't going a tad off-topic <grins>.....just interested in the possibilities this spread could offer.
Thanks for a thought provoking spread!.
Well... not too far off topic... I do have to admit that the reason I developed this spread was because of my own relationship with my mother. I also haven't tried it yet as I felt that I would need a good block of uninterrupted time to thoroughly explore what the spread showed me. But I'm hoping for some time in the next couple of days (my days off). I will report on the result.

In my notebook, I did end up changing positions #5 & 6 to just "influences" on the persons, instead of "outside influences". It's a rather thin distinction, but (I felt) it did make a needed change.

On the topic of co-dependent relationships... Having grown up in one... I'd say they pretty much suck. I personally do not see much in the way that is positive about a parent who abuses their child in any way. I'm not talking about an occasional bit of discipline, here... I'm talking about the constant mental or physical abuse which can occur in some families. If the child is unable to recognize and deal with the issues he or she is left with, he or she then can become an abusive parent as well. If they do learn to deal with it, it still leaves them with many issues with which they must deal with for most of their lives. It is this "dealing with the issues" which I hope this spread will assist with.

I do like your comment about looking at what the "person needs/ or hopes to get from their relationship with the other." These might be very good for those confusing #5 & 6 positions. Thanks!

Keep posting... looking forward to more of your comments.



__________________
"A famous person once said; 'you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time' ... but, as I (an even more famous person) say; 'if you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like!'"
[Max Headroom]
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zander770 
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Lightbulb my 2 cents


Quote:
Originally posted by Trogon However, after your inquiry I thought perhaps a review of those 2 cards (#5 & 6) might be in order. I'll think it over and see what I come up with... [/B]
i like the First Spread best! i like the idea of the Three Pyramid. this spread could be used in a Variety of relationships, i think! i'll try it out, tonight!

~Z~770
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zander770 
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Unhappy Re: Codependency spread


Quote:
Originally posted by Trogon

..............7
...........8....9
.......1............2
....5....3......4....6

The spread is in the shape of a pyramid which is made up of 3 smaller pyramids.
i found the "same spread" (same numbers, same pyramids, etc), just now, here, if that makes any difference:

http://www.tarotspreads.com/ShowSpre...pread=WhichJob

that one's for a "job decision," however...

~Z~770
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