Destructive Tarot Habits

But who are these people? Forum rules dictate at least 25 posts before participating in an exchange, but some names you see only in the reading forums, and elsewhere if readings are offered. And it seems like that's all they do, prowl the forum in search of readings. To each their own, of course, but if I ever want a reminder of how big AT actually is, I just look in the reading forums and I can see a sea of names I've never seen.

ravenest said:

I agree too, that why I dont usually read anymore. There are a few around that use the deck for self-development. Just concentrate on that and dont do readings for people . Most of them want to know about sex / love , money / power or travel.

Oh yeah, and watch out offering any advice that the cards or other indicators show might be at the root of a problem they have ... they may not even be the sort that admits they have a problem and reverse it on you.

In case you didnt notice ... its a gigantic commercial enterprise now.

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Thanks for the advice Yeah, I had noticed...

ravenest said:

Perhaps the reason is that in a new format / situation .... they might finally get what they WANT to hear ?

Sometimes I am tempted to give such a crazy reading like that it will expose it.

But 'Bhagwan Rajneesh / Osho' tried that .... wow! Talk about a backfire!

The danger is also that the 'teacher' might start believing it !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJr2BdUTYkU

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Checking it out now, cheers...

Cenozoic said:

I usually encourage people to ask self-improvement type of questions, or something that they need advice on. And if the sitter has obsessive behaviors, I usually stop it right away by informing them about it.

Yet sometimes at the moment you'll get caught up in trying to help the sitter, and you won't notice that you're reacting to their obsession more than you're helping them.

And I guess it's a bit harder trying to inform people about their obsession over the internet, because it might come off as sounding offensive or judgmental, even if what you said was well meaning.

But we deal with the cards everyday, and probably went through the same crazy obsessions ourselves at one time or another, so we can emphasize with them, but also we can guide them better since we understand it and what it's like.

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I found myself falling into the trap once, but I quickly snapped out of it. For a start, I was sick of seeing the same cards! I agree, self-improvement, advice kind of spreads on certain situations are helpful. All this soulmate/twinflame stuff makes me crazy.

That said, I'd never insult someone by pointing out what they do. All I have to do is not get involved in it. It's likely those who do it here won't ever see this post anyway, because they seldom leave the reading forums, as closrapexa points out:

closrapexa said:

But who are these people? Forum rules dictate at least 25 posts before participating in an exchange, but some names you see only in the reading forums, and elsewhere if readings are offered. And it seems like that's all they do, prowl the forum in search of readings. To each their own, of course, but if I ever want a reminder of how big AT actually is, I just look in the reading forums and I can see a sea of names I've never seen.

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There are certainly 'reading regulars' who we seldom see elsewhere on the boards. If those 240 readings I mentioned (and that was a conservative estimate) were purchased in the UK from a professional (at an average of £30) it would cost £7,800.

Crazy.

Miss Nine to Five said:

I think that it's up to the reader to set boundaries with sitters, but not to lecture/teach them what's healthy. By setting your own boundaries, you're subtlety doing that anyway ;-)

If you do more than one reading on the same question, then you'll get muddled answers and it could unintentionally make your reading skills look bad because you have tried to reinterpret things based on 5 different layers of answers. No ones forcing the reader to ask the same questions over and over. If a sitter comes back a month later and asks the same question, and we look in my reading journal and the events from last time didn't happen yet, I let them know I can't read up on it again until the events have unfolded.

It brings to mind the way a guy feels in a break up. He tells the girl he's done and she keeps nagging him with "why this?" And "I don't understand because you were all into me and.... Tell me what changed your feelings." Clearly, he's given her the straight message and saying more will confuse her the message he sends. She just didn't want to hear the initial message.

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That's a great comparison. The girl's trying to reason with something absolute because she can't accept the reality. Any additional messages from him run the double risk of planting false seeds of hope in her mind, or crushing her further. Either way, he can't win and she can't see she had already lost.

ana luisa said:

I agree with everything said so far but wanted to add that the PURPOSE of some sitters is not to get self-empowerment or to change their destiny but to be granted wishes. It reminds me of an adorable movie with Jeniffer Gardner in which she turns 30 by sprinkling "magic wishing dust" on her hair. Maybe some sitters believe that cards will eventually give them good news and do some magic. It may also be the case that for these people, fate has a mind of its own and they cannot actively change it. I know, hope may be interpreted as delusion. And in the case of "repeat offenders" is may be close to an addiction.

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That's a fascinating point, ana luisa, I hadn't considered that perhaps people feel somehow, the cards are also performing petition magic. Repetitive actions as a symptom of OCD usually have an emotional/ anxiety based attachment to them. For example avoiding standing on the cracks on the pavement because if not, something awful might happen. It's irrational, it makes no sense, but it provides a kind of uneasy comfort, and of course, control.

Celtictarot said:

Not flaming, saying things I have noticed with people, both the public and other readers. I have had to tell people to stop asking and I have one person ask me the question, then berating me for not following suit with the other readers who said he was her twin flame. I felt something was amiss and told her what I felt.

If I had the reading again, I find when I do the readings, they become wishy washy. If people to me now ask a question on that topic, I tell them to wait their time after I do the read until it manifests and tell them that what I say in the reading can change, it is not set in stone!

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I say something similar. Readings aren't absolute, things change, some things may seem mapped out but we don't know for sure. If we work on the assumption they aren't, we have more power for positive change.

Celtictarot said:

Am I diplomatic in reading people with the same questions?, if I feel it in the reading, I do the reading but openly tell the querant that the cards were reacting. The readings become a bit vague and the cards (I have this happen to me with decks I have bonded with) suddenly don't want to speak to me. I have once had to tell a repeat asker, more like request that they stop getting readings from me, not only she asked the question, she also challenged me on the reading she got. Bear in mind the reading had webcam photos of the cards I just drew as well, I always let the querants see the card and talk them through what I am seeing on the cards. Needless to say I have stopped with that querant for just under a year now and she has not bothered me again.

This is an vital topic every divination reader must address as it WILL come up.

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Wow. I'm glad she didn't bother you again, but isn't it a shame it gets like this? What you say is so right though, it does happen so it's best to have strategies in place.

ravenest said:

But 'Bhagwan Rajneesh / Osho' tried that .... wow! Talk about a backfire!

The danger is also that the 'teacher' might start believing it !

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Great video, mind = blown Can you please tell me what these bits in the quotes mean though? I'm missing something in what I'm sure is a profound, insightful message...

There are some things that trouble me too. I’m a strong believer in the idea that you can usually change the outcomes of readings and that your choices matter in whether they come true or not.

Your chances of finding love in 2015 can be really high, but you probably also need to do things like going out and mingling with people with similar interests and being emotionally available. Even if you find love, it doesn’t mean you’ll keep it if you can’t address potential obstacles, and it doesn’t mean it’ll be a healthy relationship if you or the other person interact in a way that’s very damaging.

Sometimes people do have a stroke of luck when they unexpectedly fall in love with the Right Person or are offered their dream job when they least expect it. However, that’s not really the norm, just like people who find winning lottery tickets in the ground are not the norm, and if you want to have a chance to win the lottery you should buy a ticket.

I know that sometimes it’s so easy to look at a very happy person and assume that they were just lucky and that it all fell in their laps. If you think rationally, though, it’s much more likely that they’ve invested a lot of work and time into building their relationships.

Another thing that bothers me is when people do readings that are extremely biased and ask “is this person I saw once The One?”. What kind of answer can they expect to get from that that won’t make them feel worse? How are we supposed to interpret that when we don’t know if being honest is going to hurt them more?

I also feel worried when people read about the feelings of another person for them, or about the relationship that someone else has with another person. That’s very intrusive, and quite frankly, it’s not going to do you any good to know. If you find out that the other person likes you back, what does it matter if you don’t go ahead and make a move? If you find out they’re happy with the relationship they have, what can you do? Wouldn’t it be better to ask what you can do to move on from them or something? If you don’t expect to find love soon, won’t you be at least a little bit happier if until that happens you can also be happy with yourself and make the most of that time?

It’s fine to need reassurance and to want updates. I think that’s a normal human thing. However, it’s also wise to know your limits and to know where to seek out help. The Tarot is not a magical “good luck” ticket that will make you dreams come true just because you’ve pulled a good card and it’s not a replacement for a therapist.

In short, I agree what you’ve said here. Sometimes I see people post here and I worry about them, and wish I could advise them to stop asking the same questions and instead address why they’re asking those questions over and over, or to turn to a person they can talk to instead of a deck of cards (as much as I love the Tarot, it's not a replacement for your best friend, a lawyer, or a doctor).

There has to be something amiss when a person asks the same questions over and over and has not evolved in anyway, moved on and/or learnt anything from a reading and especially if this goes on for weeks, months....even years.

But especially the ones that ask about the love interests that do not exist, the one that s/he met one time at a bus stop, and/or the ones they interact with on a daily basis that really speaking they should be talking to more and getting to know bit by bit rather than basing everything on card readings!

I suppose LOVE is the key function to all kinds of relationships , but I would be more concerned about what the "other person" is going to get out of it. I, for one, would be wary if I found out my other half spent 6 months behind a PC screen asking every question under the sun about me after the first meeting to see if I WAS THE ONE, DOES S/HE STILL LOVE ME, WHAT IS S/HE THINKING etc etc etc.

Fair enough if in one reading it is brought up by chance, but "relentless questions" on "IS THIS THE ONE" is like a sign of major insecurity, self doubts and someone that craves to be loved.

Also, to go from one reader to 10 other readers for clarification, a different answer, and/or because her/his one minute fix is waning is bordering on an "addiction".

Practice readings are a good way to learn, but not if a person is not learning and it becomes a daily fix.

DownUnderNZer said:

I suppose LOVE is the key function to all kinds of relationships , but I would be more concerned about what the "other person" is going to get out of it. I, for one, would be wary if I found out my other half spent 6 months behind a PC screen asking every question under the sun about me after the first meeting to see if I WAS THE ONE, DOES S/HE STILL LOVE ME, WHAT IS S/HE THINKING etc etc etc.

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This mental image gave me a good laugh, because it's so true!