Sitters that take readings too personally?

Have you ever had that problem?

I cant recall when I had it in real life, maybe one time I did but it happened to me relatively frequently on boards as well as this one.

Now, I must state that I am not a tarot reader who has ten or 30 plus years of experience but when I do read for people I really do it to honestly help in the best way that I can,and I consider myself skilled with the deck that I read.
I would do a reading, or pull a couple of cards depending on the context of the reading and question,and wheter they want a full detailed reading or a shorter one.

And it has happened to me that some of the people whom I do the reading ( who are fellow readers as well ) get so insulted and offended at the cards that I pulled, because those werent the cards they were expecting.
When I do give the reading, they would be rude to me and get argumentative and cant seem to comprehend that when I give a reading, I am not personally involved in their question and have no opinion on the matter, I just give the opinion of the cards but somehow they mix those two up and assume that my reading is my biased personal opinion of their problem, which it is not.


At first I was nice and tried to explain to them how my tarot reading is separate from any opinion I might have on their issue or problem but instead of an apology for being rude to me for no reason they simply cut off all contact with me.

On this board with some members it has gone as far as them refusing to post in topics where I am active after they get the reading that displeases them from me. So,when other members ask them why arent they active in these topics and threads they tell them it is because of me and then the rest avoid posting with me as well so...lol.



Has anyone of you ever experienced treatment like this in real life or your blogs or in any way after you gave someone a reading they didnt personally like?

I may be lucky but no. I have not had such kind of experience. Although I don't have decades of doing tarot people only praise of how good I am. They never get angry or offended because they know I am telling the truth. Instead they understand that there are problems that has to be solved.

I haven't had this particular problem. I have had a few cases where the message delivered was not what they wanted to hear, though. I do tend to be a straightforward, "tell it it like it is" kinda reader, because that's the kind of person I am, but people know that about me so they should know what they are getting into. Although I do try to be sensitive in the delivery, it's still quite clear that some are uncomfortable that the truth is now sitting right in front of them and they are having to look at it. Maybe when they asked a question they didn't expect it to be answered quite like it was ? You can sort of tell when they are squirming inside and though the message may be true, they didn't expect it to actually come up and touch those uncomfortable areas. People really shouldn't as me things if they don't want to hear the truth . That's in readings and real life, though.

Disa said:

I haven't had this particular problem. I have had a few cases where the message delivered was not what they wanted to hear, though. if they don't want to hear the truth . That's in readings and real life, though.

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But this is the problem I am speaking about When they dont like what they hear and snap on you lol.

When such things occur it just at first made me feel guilty that I even gave a reading and at first I really used to think oh well, is it something I said, or was it my cards? but later I did realize that these people were immature in a way, because why would you ask for a reading if you only want to hear one thing? whenever I ask for any type of reading I am fully ready to embrace a negative one to the question that I asked, so I can not understand people who ask for readings and then get mad when it isnt the one they wished to hear.

Sorry to hear you've had such a strong reaction from your sitters. if I were you, I would consider 2 things:
- the readers childish attitude
- the delivery of message.

If , as you say, you're delivering the message in a kind, supportive way and trying to empower the sitter however negative the cards are, then, the problem is their immaturity. As Disa said, "if you don't want an answer, don't ask the question". You could, in the future "prepare" your querents (BEFORE) by stating that WHATEVER comes in a spread will be read. Good OR bad. And ask if they're ready for it. Wit me that worked really well because I read for friends and relatives. Many have run away from the readings because of that statement. It's their right to stick the heads in the sand. So, give them this option. And, if they still go for it , get mad at the answer and pout, well, that's their problem really.

I think I've not had many of those--that I know about anyway. Someone got kind of upset with me for a reading I did for her and then a second one a month later and she wasn't happy because they didn't both say the same thing---but I don't remember readings after I do them and I just read the cards that come up. Naturally things will change in a month or a year or any fairly long period of time. I don't even remember the question once it's a finished reading.

There's quite a big difference between brutal honesty and telling the truth with compassion, so maybe you've slipped a little to the brutal side and need to brush up on putting yourself in their place and spend time thinking how to use compassion and diplomacy. I know you wouldn't intentionally be brutal, but sometimes that's how it can come across to the sitter.

Hi Raz!

From what i have heard and experienced there is a doubt in regards to the validity of the cards pulled mainly in the one card one sentence thread. I'm not saying that this is you per se but even i sometimes doubt the cards that are being pulled by members. It used to be one of my favorite games but i rarely go anymore.
I've never seen anyone be angry for your interpretation of the card but rather question how you could have pulled the same card three times in a row. Of course I'm not always on the thread and someone could have overreacted.
I would suggest working with the mods (if you haven't already) to see what the exact issue is.

sorry but i felt like i had to say something ♥

ETA: I just saw that this happened in the divination thread? Ok well I normally hang there but haven't seen anything, I had assumed it was on the one carders. The only thing that I can say is hang in there

LaRazia said:

Have you ever had that problem?

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Too personally? Darlin', a Tarot reading is about the most personal thing in the WORLD! And it is ALL about the sitter, not the reader. Most people don't take it personally enough.

And it has happened to me that some of the people whom I do the reading ( who are fellow readers as well ) get so insulted and offended at the cards that I pulled, because those werent the cards they were expecting.

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This is why, when I read face-to-face, the client ALWAYS shuffles and cuts the deck, and I ALWAYS draw from the top. A part of what I routinely say as I lead into the reading, is that they themselves have arranged the cards in the order that they will come out. Nobody's ever made an issue of it, because they chose when to stop shuffling, and where to cut the deck.

When I do give the reading, they would be rude to me and get argumentative and cant seem to comprehend that when I give a reading, I am not personally involved in their question and have no opinion on the matter, I just give the opinion of the cards but somehow they mix those two up and assume that my reading is my biased personal opinion of their problem, which it is not.

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Never, ever raise your voice. Never argue against what the client is saying. The most you should say, and say it softly, is, "I'm sorry, but this is what I'm getting from the cards. If you are unhappy I'll offer you a full refund and a free reading voucher that you can use later or pass onto a friend."

End of problem. They will go away, raving about what a wonderful reader you are.

At first I was nice and tried to explain to them how my tarot reading is separate from any opinion I might have on their issue or problem but instead of an apology for being rude to me for no reason they simply cut off all contact with me.

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And don't do that explanation - that can be seen as a defensive move, and any commander will tell you that defensive moves are a part of battle, so by defending yourself you have joined in battle with them. Don't. And should they apologise? It's THEIR reading. It's about THEIR life. A person looking for a reading is automatically vulnerable. Be gentle.

And there is always the question - WERE you right? I've been reading since the 1970s and professionally since 1981, and I still get things wrong sometimes.

Grizabella said:

I think I've not had many of those--that I know about anyway. Someone got kind of upset with me for a reading I did for her and then a second one a month later and she wasn't happy because they didn't both say the same thing---but I don't remember readings after I do them and I just read the cards that come up. Naturally things will change in a month or a year or any fairly long period of time. I don't even remember the question once it's a finished reading.

There's quite a big difference between brutal honesty and telling the truth with compassion, so maybe you've slipped a little to the brutal side and need to brush up on putting yourself in their place and spend time thinking how to use compassion and diplomacy. I know you wouldn't intentionally be brutal, but sometimes that's how it can come across to the sitter.

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Thanks Grizzabella.

yes, cards do change which is why I find it odd anyone would get worked up over a reading.


as for me being brutally honest, I am not. Like, for example I am also at another board but that is not quite tarot related, more so doing with mediumship since I am a former medium, and there was one member who was inquiring to me about me doing reading for her.

It was about a supposed paranormal experience she claimed she had, because she claimed she was being haunted.

she asked me to draw the cards and my Bohemian Gothic deck is very apt for answering such questions so I did drew and the cards were negative. So I said what I said, I told her in exact words '' sorry, but I dont see any hauntings'' and I didnt even get to say anything else, that was literally my first sentence when she completely snapped at me, told me she never wants me to read for her ever again because I am too dense to understand there is a world beyond our own ( wtf ? ), and then proceeded to insult my tarot reading skills and then just refused to show up anywhere on the board where I am. Lol.


Of course, that member on that paranormal site had no idea she was talking to a former medium, which is why I found her comment about me being ''dense'' about other worlds quite hurtful and ignorant.

I guess she got offended that I didnt see her being haunted in the cards but thats not my fault, thats how the cards really came out.


I realize such people are childish, but they really do take away from the fun of reading for people, as I have become so insecure about even giving readings that I have thought about quiting tarot completely,since I see no joy anymore for reading for people.

I know its probably my natal chart as astrologers always tell me I attract ppl like that lol

nisaba said:

Too personally? Darlin', a Tarot reading is about the most personal thing in the WORLD! And it is ALL about the sitter, not the reader. Most people don't take it personally enough.


This is why, when I read face-to-face, the client ALWAYS shuffles and cuts the deck, and I ALWAYS draw from the top. A part of what I routinely say as I lead into the reading, is that they themselves have arranged the cards in the order that they will come out. Nobody's ever made an issue of it, because they chose when to stop shuffling, and where to cut the deck.


Never, ever raise your voice. Never argue against what the client is saying. The most you should say, and say it softly, is, "I'm sorry, but this is what I'm getting from the cards. If you are unhappy I'll offer you a full refund and a free reading voucher that you can use later or pass onto a friend."

End of problem. They will go away, raving about what a wonderful reader you are.


And don't do that explanation - that can be seen as a defensive move, and any commander will tell you that defensive moves are a part of battle, so by defending yourself you have joined in battle with them. Don't. And should they apologise? It's THEIR reading. It's about THEIR life. A person looking for a reading is automatically vulnerable. Be gentle.

And there is always the question - WERE you right? I've been reading since the 1970s and professionally since 1981, and I still get things wrong sometimes.

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Thank you Nisaba, you have given some great things to think about.


As for should they apologize? I, have NEVER been rude to a stranger. so, if I am trying to help someone as much as I can with a reading,and I am not being mean, brutally honest or bad towards that person in any way, and you talk down to me horribly after I try to help you- then yes, you should apologize.

I dont treat anyone like that so I expect the same in return.

as for wheter my readings are right or wrong, I am not an arrogant reader. In fact, because I have only been reading for 3 or 4 years, I tend to get very insecure and I always tell them my reading could be wrong, I tell everybody whom I read for that. What I usually say is '' I could be wrong , but from my cards it this is how the situation looks'' so I always give room for me making an error.

One thing though, I am not defensive. when and if they do attack me ( and they always attack me on a personal level after they dont get the reading they want from me ) I just tell them that I read for the Bohemian Gothic, that its different than Rider and that my cards mean something completelly different,and that perhaps if they asked for someones opinion who uses another deck maybe they would see the question differently.


SO I always say my deck could be wrong.However, because of some of the reactions I have been given by just simply doing a reading I have become very insecure as I said, and dont quite wish to do anymore readings.


I will try to take your advice before completely quiting, about how I should state that if they arent happy that is what my cards have come up with and they are free to ask another opinion, but I usually always say that,and it makes no difference. To add I have NOT been treated this way in real life by real life clients, maybe only one time. This usually happens online, on the boards I am active.