Thirteen here's the spread I tried to do:
Throne 1: Ace of swords – difficult childhood
Emperor, Justice, Hierophant, HP
Moon
I take this to mean a scary childhood filled with anguish and anxiety (moon) due to my parents constant fighting and my father’s physical abuse of my mother (Emperor – HP/Moon) with both of them clinging to an disastrous marriage due to social convention (Hierophant) which ended in divorce anyway (Justice).
This may lead me to be attracted to men of similar demeanor. My father was a powerful charismatic man who was known to be a leader. Due to his charisma, he attracted many women and was a serial cheater. R is exactly the same. I may be repeating my parents’ mistakes.
Throne 2: Ace of coins (Favorable)
Devil, Fool, Death, Judgement
I am very much career-oriented, almost obsessed. I really need to learn how to be more carefree and learn how to manage work/life balance. This would require “death” of my current habits and by being acquiring new habits, I will be reborn and finally achieve the success I need.
Rs first marriage fell apart partly due to his workaholism too . Many times he has told me he is trying to work on maintaining his work/life balance and tells me I need to too.
Throne 3: Ace of cups: Joy
Tower, Wheel, Sun, Hanged Man
Magician
Honestly this could not be further from the truth this lifetime around….
The Sun I feel reaffirms the Ace’s message of joy. R. is also a Leo and I frequently associate the gold of the sun and the egocentricity of Leo with the Sun. The Magician speaks to me of him, the smooth talker who can make anything happen and who probably in the past life as well as this time around has turned my life upside down (Tower). The hanged man speaks of waiting and sacrifice as well as the wheel of fortune waiting for a stroke of luck, of things changing so that I may be the center of his life and he mine. (Sun).
I think this also speaks of the waiting game many have told me I must play because things will change. The coincidences and synchronicity in this lifetime are too great. I have a hard time believing it.
Throne 4: Past life: Ace of wands: Struggles
Lover, Hermit, Empress, Star, World, Chariot, Strength, Temperance
I think this is what is also manifesting in our current life, the struggle of being apart and knowing that being together is not an option.
I had to make a choice between being alone (hermit) or the mistress (Empress) which always left me with the wishful thinking (Star) of when this cycle could be completed (world) and we could be together (Lovers). However, I was left to learn how to balance (temperance) my desire to be with him (Strength) and moving on ( Chariot). Just like this life……
Did I get it somewhat right ?