Symulacrum
Hello... Within my Introduction post, similia recommended that I share my observations of the Thoth deck with the members of this forum. I hope you won't mind if I simply copy and paste the major portion of my post here (including my specifics... just incase they might help influence a reply)... as well as add a few follow-ups. I respectfully plead for forgiveness if the length or wording of the post becomes tedious.
As a follow up, I have attempted an online reading of the Thoth, and though I approached the process with some skepticism due to the electronic methods... I found it to be vividly accurate to my current situation. I am beginning to feel as if the Tarot of the Ages Deck has only been priming me for this moment so that I may overcome my deep fear of genius=insanity.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated and well received.
Thanks in advance to those who will offer precious time to help me to resolve my conundrum.
Sincerely, Sym
Creativity, Knowledge, and Communication fascinate me on a deeply spiritual level and compose the doctrines of my unlabeled and solitary faith. To walk a path of Symmetry and Balance is my eternal Quest; Ecocentricity is my Mantra; & I find skillfully crafted Humor to be a representation of The Divine.
My heroes have always been men and women of extraordinary genius, creativity and/or balance, and I have felt the strongest psychological pull towards Benjamin Franklin and Leonardo da Vinci since early childhood.
I am one who has always been slightly out of phase with humanity and more drawn to the company of animals and plants, though I do continually seek to observe brief glimpses of the Big Picture as it applies to our human race and our relative position in the Ecosystem. In my more recent attempts I have most often experienced a heavy depression, which has begun to severely trouble me.
I am a Monkey born on the Scorpio/Sagittarius cusp of Revolution on the Day of the Scrambler. My Numerical Tarot is 2 x 10 The Wheel of Fortune; my Astrological Tarot is 13 Death… and my daily meditation is currently focused on: Everything that has a beginning has an end, and every end is a new beginning… which I have come to believe provides the essential fuel to stimulate the perpetual Revolutions of Evolution.
Until recently, I had only been drawn by one deck... The Tarot of the Ages... and against all of my attempts to redirect towards the Tarot of the Cat People or the Medieval Cat Tarot... it was INSISTENT. I have been aligned with it for 13 years, but have only truly begun to understand it's potential over the past 3.
I've always found my attraction to the deck cosmically amusing as I have been struggling only a fraction of a degree away from complete misanthropy... but there is an undeniable will of wisdom at work behind the Tarot and I have since accepted and embraced it utterly.
Yesterday, however, I experienced an overwhelming attraction to The Aleister Crowley Thoth deck... and the realization of the symbolisms of my dreams was undeniable. To be honest, I found the urgency with which the Thoth deck invaded my dreams last night to be quite overpowering. I am equally tempted to both embrace it and avoid it with all due caution.
I will need to meditate on this further and any suggestions (pro or con) will be genuinely appreciated.
On a side note: I have a "feeling" that I should also mention that I have twice received the World (Universe = Tarot of the Ages) card as my Celtic Cross Outcome on two consecutive Full Moon readings... both heavy with the presence of the Major Arcana.
As a follow up, I have attempted an online reading of the Thoth, and though I approached the process with some skepticism due to the electronic methods... I found it to be vividly accurate to my current situation. I am beginning to feel as if the Tarot of the Ages Deck has only been priming me for this moment so that I may overcome my deep fear of genius=insanity.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated and well received.
Thanks in advance to those who will offer precious time to help me to resolve my conundrum.
Sincerely, Sym