"Weasel Words" du Jour

I think that it comes down to how certain a reader feels about his/her own impressions... Whether or not they are seen as unalterable "Truths", likelihoods, observations that are subject to change with additional data, etc.. I don't think that less-than-decisive wording necessarily renders a reading worthless; some (most?) people will still believe what they want to believe, anyway, no matter what words are used.

IndigoWaves said:

I think that it comes down to how certain a reader feels about his/her own impressions... Whether or not they are seen as unalterable "Truths", likelihoods, observations that are subject to change with additional input, etc..

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One thing I've learned from doing this for so long is that almost everything we glean from the cards fits into that last category. It's why I'm extremely cautious with absolutes.

Padma said:

I just say opportunities are coming, try not to squander them. Or something of the like. I am not comfortable with the new age tarot "speakeasy" feel to the cards, myself. And I won't go into details on that, because there is sure to be dissent :/ (the cards can't do this, they can't do that, they are this, they are that, etc...)

ETA I think we don't truly know what we are messing with, personally. We do our best to read the signs.

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To be honest, these days I'm not comfortable with anything that purports to be "New Age," and I lived through it from the very beginning. It's mainly why I don't read psychological matters with tarot, and no longer do it much with astrology either. But I'm not talking about soft-peddling here, more about a judicious choice of words that leaves the querent (and by association, the reader) some "wiggle room" in the outlook. I probably set the wrong tone with this thread; I don't mean slippery words that are intended to mislead, but rather carefully-chosen words that are meant to communicate an informed opinion rather than an airtight conclusion. Even if I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that my insights came from a Divine source, I still wouldn't necessarily trust my ability to translate them to perfection. "Reading signs" - with all the ambiguity that implies - is a good way to put it. And Yoav Ben-Dov said "Everything is a sign."

IndigoWaves said:

I think that it comes down to how certain a reader feels about his/her own impressions... Whether or not they are seen as unalterable "Truths", likelihoods, observations that are subject to change with additional data, etc.. I don't think that less-than-decisive wording necessarily renders a reading worthless; some (most?) people will still believe what they want to believe, anyway, no matter what words are used.

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I agree with this, on some levels. For me mostly, I just find it so arrogant or brimming with hubris, when a reader declares something in such a solid way. Like 3 of cups, upright never means this, or the 10 of swords means you will be suffering from your actions very soon, or... I think you all know what I mean here. There are ways to confidently read the cards without being arrogantly positive of our own sight. It's like a gentle reminder that "hey, I'm not God/dess and because of that, I'm not omniscient", so I choose not to speak as if I am. If I were doing a math problem and I had rechecked my work, I'd say, the answer is This. Reading cards, or divination in any form, is not math.

But sometimes. Sometimes, the cards are so succinct and so direct, they punch you in the gut. And if that is the case, then I go airtight, as Barleywine says. I don't think of that as arrogance. In fact, I don't think that I myself read, so to speak. I believe the information comes from elsewhere. I think of myself as a conduit. I believe that I have little to do with the reading, beyond acting as a portal or a messenger.

So the bragging rights, if there are any, are not mine to have. I don't think that way. I just say what I see...my words and hands and eyes, perhaps, but the darned message is coming from elsewhere, I can attest to that!

Padma said:

But sometimes. Sometimes, the cards are so succinct and so direct, they punch you in the gut. And if that is the case, then I go airtight, as Barleywine says. I don't think of that as arrogance. In fact, I don't think that I myself read, so to speak. I believe the information comes from elsewhere. I think of myself as a conduit. I believe that I have little to do with the reading, beyond acting as a portal or a messenger.

So the bragging rights, if there are any, are not mine to have. I don't think that way. I just say what I see...my words and hands and eyes, perhaps, but the darned message is coming from elsewhere, I can attest to that!

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I agree with the "conduit" analogy. When I read, I throw myself open to all the "I-words:" inspiration, imagination, ingenuity, and intuition, hopefully arriving at "insight." While it may be partially knowledge-based, much of it is wholly visionary. The goal then is to anchor it to useful meaning through language, in a way that doesn't instill exaggerated hopes (or fears) in my querents.

Barleywine said:

The goal then is to anchor it to useful meaning through language, in a way that doesn't instill exaggerated hopes (or fears) in my querents.

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It is good to point out the fear aspect, many sitters have that, and being gentle is not avoidance of truth, imo. But if you aren't exaggerating what you see, how can that inflate the hopes of sitters? If you are just speaking the truth of what is there, then it is hard to see how hopes can be overly inflated. Fears I get, because the scary cards (so to speak) can visually and viscerally trigger fear, especially to the uninitiated, but the other cards seem more neutral to me than absurdly pleasant...

I mean, for me, and likely far more for the sitter, the visuals of the Tower or Death or even Ten of Swords have far more of an impact than say, the 9 of Cups or the 3 Cups or the like. They look pleasant, but they don't look crazy awesome wonderful...?

I read the cards to a sitter the way they speak to me. Sometimes the cards are more definitive than others...I will interpret them as absolute when they don't show me any other way. Have you ever pulled a card and felt like it smacked you in the face? I won't sugar coat those or leave it open ended. But sometimes a card is pulled that seems to be more coy. Sometimes all of the cards are more or less ambiguous, with only hints of possibility, or they seem to suggest other issues are more important at the time than the one the sitter asked about.

The sitter is important, too. I have a couple of close friends I read for regularly. One of them always wants the real, hard truth. The other is extremely easily discouraged...unless the cards are issuing a stern warning, I will be gentle with her. Online, like on here, the sitter has less impact on how I interpret them because I have zero bias and assume that the querent has a decent understanding of tarot and how it works already.

Barleywine said:

The goal then is to anchor it to useful meaning through language, in a way that doesn't instill exaggerated hopes (or fears) in my querents.

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Exactly what I was hoping to convey. I don't wish to give them exaggerated hopes or fears. One time, doing a reading for a friend, death card came up and when it did, it was a kick to the gut, like Padma described, I hated seeing that card where it was in the spread and I had such fear for them as a family. I do not always see/feel the death card this way, usually it's very much less destructive and scary. But, there was a very good, protective card in the environment position, and I said, just know you are all safe, you'll all be fine, go with this card, not the death card. I did whitewash that death card, not sure if it was a good choice on my part or a bad one, weasel-ish. End result, they took a road trip, had a horrible wreck not caused by them at all, and the person who hit them, died on the spot. So death was for sure a part of their future, and they all had a very deep and strong reaction to the wreck, as anyone would. They were such a positive, happy go lucky family, travelers and adventurers. Things changed quite a lot after this wreck. I still feel guilty for not shouting out at them to I don't know, be careful, don't take the trip, take a different route....I'll never know. If I had just read further on what that death card meant for them, maybe I could have steered them clear.

Padma said:

It is good to point out the fear aspect, many sitters have that, and being gentle is not avoidance of truth, imo. But if you aren't exaggerating what you see, how can that inflate the hopes of sitters? If you are just speaking the truth of what is there, then it is hard to see how hopes can be overly inflated. Fears I get, because the scary cards (so to speak) can visually and viscerally trigger fear, especially to the uninitiated, but the other cards seem more neutral to me than absurdly pleasant...

I mean, for me, and likely far more for the sitter, the visuals of the Tower or Death or even Ten of Swords have far more of an impact than say, the 9 of Cups or the 3 Cups or the like. They look pleasant, but they don't look crazy awesome wonderful...?

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I think you missed my point. It's the way in which we express what we see that can exaggerate those hopes or fears. If Death comes up and I simply say "You're going to experience a dramatic change of some kind, probably coming on you from outside, that you can neither avoid nor completely deflect, so you're only option will be to adapt," the sitter's blood pressure will probably go up a few points. I can say that to people here who know the ropes, but to a layman I would probably just say "It looks like you're headed for a change of some kind that could be significant. Keep your eyes open and be ready to adapt or adjust to it."

Regarding the nasty majors, I have a sheet I made up that has the Devil, Death, the Tower and the Hanged Man on it. If my sitters haven't had a reading before, I give them a brief run-through of the less lop-sidedly dire perspective on those cards.