Troubled with Tarot. Need some help.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR COMMENTS!!
You are all God sends in my time of melancholy. I needed to hear everything you all said.
And no I do not think my cards are the problem and nor is having a Christian based deck going to solve anything. I am attached my cards (Sirian starseed) and content.
I honestly thought God did leave me because I was not following the typical walk as I should. After I made this form, I prayed, asked for guidance peace and my relationship how it was suppose to be. I read your comments, prayed and felt the peace I feel when I ask for a presence. I was thrilled happy and felt my balance again, then hung out with my family. Even though they would disapprove of my journey, we are still close and love each other, but they will not hear about this part of my life anymore.
Again thank you all for your comments and showing respect for my belief. It is truly refreshing to be among people who do show tolerance and respect. I still plan on taking a break and try to resume my spiritual balance.
Blessings my friend.

Meemai said:

The Lioness stepped up, gently nuzzled the ewe’s muzzle and bowed her head to the herd. Then she turned to the lion and they moved off toward the mountains sniffing the wind.

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Thank you for your story. That was beautiful and lovely, it made have a much needed smile. Now I want to try and create a story with my cards....but it will wait until I regain balance...and just starting again.

Holland said:

.....I was thrilled happy and felt my balance again, then hung out with my family. Even though they would disapprove of my journey, we are still close and love each other, but they will not hear about this part of my life anymore.......

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I was raised in a wonderful Christian home and am still a follower of Christ, although not technically a Christian now. (I still participate in certain Christian activities with my Christian friends, however.) You have made me feel very fortunate to have had a family and friends who accept me for what I am, ugly warts and all, and I sincerely thank you for that realization. (Of course, I do the same for them. Some of their warts are almost as ugly as mine.) Maybe some day your family will grant you the same lattitude for your God-given individuality. I certainly hope so. Meanwhile, take care, my friend.

God will understand the use of Tarot, if not your family.

Okay I have to put the cards away(I don't know how long, possibly forever), I was in peace but this morning I felt the dark feeling inside (again) and I could not brush it away!! WHAT IS THIS FEELING!? It still lingers.
I did test my cards and shuffled, as I was shuffling, the feeling became stronger(good positive reading). Then I asked Christ to talk to me through tarot and it looked like they need to stay out of my life for awhile....then I asked the cards "what will happen if I continue?"
I received some negative cards(tower, 8 swords, 3 swords ect). that was when I officially put them in storage.
I don't get this feeling and it is scaring me. I have prayed done everything I can to be at peace and NOTHING is working. I am wondering if there is a negative spirit has entered and won't leave me alone. But how can a Christian who loves Jesus and put him first in her life feel this way?

Holland said:

Okay I have to put the cards away(I don't know how long, possibly forever), I was in peace but this morning I felt the dark feeling inside (again) and I could not brush it away!! WHAT IS THIS FEELING!? It still lingers.
I did test my cards and shuffled, as I was shuffling, the feeling became stronger(good positive reading). Then I asked Christ to talk to me through tarot and it looked like they need to stay out of my life for awhile....then I asked the cards "what will happen if I continue?"
I received some negative cards(tower, 8 swords, 3 swords ect). that was when I officially put them in storage.
I don't get this feeling and it is scaring me. I have prayed done everything I can to be at peace and NOTHING is working. I am wondering if there is a negative spirit has entered and won't leave me alone. But how can a Christian who loves Jesus and put him first in her life feel this way?

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I just did a reading about your situation. I also got The Tower and the 3 of Swords. But I am seeing them differently: in the position I had for the 3 of Swords, it's about the heartache/heartbreak you are feeling over wanting to read the cards, but having icky feelings. The Tower was in the Outcome position meaning, to me, a big shake-up, catalyst for change. With the 8 of Swords (I didn't get this), I always see that as a situation that seems like you're trapped, but almost always you can get out of it easily--take off the blindfold and untie yourself!

If you want me to post the reading or send it to you privately, let me know. I used the Hanson-Roberts deck, which I have had and used since 1990. It's very close to the Rider-Waite-Smith in symbolism. And I used the Celtic Cross spread, which I rarely use, as I usually do smaller spreads. This spread seemed right for the question though.

BTW, I always use a Shadow Card (the card on the bottom of the deck). It was The Sun. And I got Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry" lyrics going through my head with that: "Everything's gonna be all right, everything's gonna be all right..."

CountryMouse

Holland, by all means follow your feelings about this. Perhaps your reticence about Tarot does not extend to all other divination methods. Richard Wilhelm, a Lutheran missionary to China, found the I Ching to be an effective divinatory tool, which conforms to the philosophies of Confucianism as well as Taoism. It is not so much for fortune telling as it is for informing the reader of the proper mental attitude to take in the various situations which arise in life. Just a suggestion. The call is yours.

Holland said:

I don't get this feeling and it is scaring me. I have prayed done everything I can to be at peace and NOTHING is working. I am wondering if there is a negative spirit has entered and won't leave me alone. But how can a Christian who loves Jesus and put him first in her life feel this way?

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Would it be possible for you to elaborate on that feeling? I ask because I want to understand if it is fear, anxiety, resistance or something else entirely.

When I last got a dark feeling around the cards I felt a sort of doom like using them was wrong. For me I had to sage and pray and shine a light through the darkness by taking back my own power (that is, assertively telling the negative energy that it was not welcome and that only high energy was allowed) you feel Christ when you get goosebumps and the darkness washes away. The thing is, you have to assert positive energy every now and then, like maintenance on a car. Having faith is a strong and powerful thing, but we are humans and we need to reaffirm our faith now and then, continue to strengthen our relationship with Him.
It's sort of like marriage, you don't just get married and stop trying to win the person over. You continue to bond with them, right? Keep praying when you need help and also just to check in, or to say thank you. You are not doing anything wrong in your faith.

because I have not been using tarot long, I can tell you it is not the cards which cause this feeling. I have gotten the feeling before just by walking into my bedroom. Sometimes it is irrational fear, sometimes it is an energy apart from me. The trick is in knowing the difference so you can work on setting things right.


As to The Tower, The way I learned about this card is that another interpretation could be that your old belief systems or things you thought you knew (the foundation) is not working out anymore and it may be time for you to knock down the building and build it up again from scratch. In other words, letting go of old way of thinking that no longer serves you.
In my dreaming way deck, the girl in 8 of swords does not have her hands bound, and so she could take the blindfolds off if she wishes. Maybe she hasn't because she is afraid?
In my Chrysalis deck, it is all about ridding yourself of illusion.

All of these would indicate that you have nothing to fear. And really, fear is the enemy. A shield which blocks out love and light.

In the meantime, I have prayed for you.

ctrymaus said:

I just did a reading about your situation. I also got The Tower and the 3 of Swords. But I am seeing them differently: in the position I had for the 3 of Swords, it's about the heartache/heartbreak you are feeling over wanting to read the cards, but having icky feelings. The Tower was in the Outcome position meaning, to me, a big shake-up, catalyst for change. With the 8 of Swords (I didn't get this), I always see that as a situation that seems like you're trapped, but almost always you can get out of it easily--take off the blindfold and untie yourself!

If you want me to post the reading or send it to you privately, let me know. I used the Hanson-Roberts deck, which I have had and used since 1990. It's very close to the Rider-Waite-Smith in symbolism. And I used the Celtic Cross spread, which I rarely use, as I usually do smaller spreads. This spread seemed right for the question though.

BTW, I always use a Shadow Card (the card on the bottom of the deck). It was The Sun. And I got Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry" lyrics going through my head with that: "Everything's gonna be all right, everything's gonna be all right..."

CountryMouse

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Hahaha thank you for that, I would love to hear more via message, thanks a bunch. I did wake up in a better mood and still in a better mood. I know its not a spirit, I just think it's a strong fear, or/and just probably the first time my family and I will NEVER see eye to eye on a subject. During my growing up there was a lot of things we disagreed on(harry potter), but eventually they would come around. My mom has reread the series countless times . you get the idea.
Oh I forgot to mention in the last comment, I also had the Justice card (mine is Divine)as well. But thank you I would love to hear what you read.

Hey all! Thank you for your replies back. I seriously have never felt anything like this before.
After I left the comment, I paused my movie(Hitch) and did some serious praying, maybe a tear or two was shed. A much needed prayer, peace finally entered my heart and I felt some serious relief. I have concluded with myself there is no spirit nor did I attract one, nor welcomed it, and if I did its gone now.
The feeling is gone, however I have felt it now and then this morning, but it is weakening and somehow, one way, or another I will confront it and destroy it!
however I still plan on taking a break from reading, not until I am officially out of the woods of fear and this unknown. I want to regain my balance and continue to deepen my spiritual relationship. But you will continue to see me on this site.
If you do not mind, continue to pray for me or and send blessings, whatever works for you to help others. Again you guys have been a WONDERFUL support and understanding, it means a lot to me.
Blessings my friends.