Apologizing Habit

It seems that I've come with terrible habit of apologizing when it is unneeded, After Doing more reading for people I don't really know, a guess a fear has developed in being wrong, or called a liar perhaps, But As far as I aware that is not the case, The feed back is helpful, for me to see my own mistakes, they seem to be minor misinterpretations or forms of communication, still I guess it means I have a Goal to work on my communication and interpretation skills now, The readings are correct at least, I need some work though if I wanna do this as a profession.

Once you've got some experience reading the cards, you'll get used to people's reactions. And you'll also come to know that just because something seems wrong at the time of the reading, that doesn't mean it's wrong period. I've had people tell me two or three years on that what I saw in the cards did come about after all, but just after we lost contact for awhile.

Thank you

Thank you that makes me feel a lot better, I know my readings are correct but yeah I have some interpreting skills to work on. My Teacher told me it wasn't going to be easy I guess this is what she meant. I normally great at giving insights perhaps This wont work as well since The people are not here with me but that only means I have a goal to drive me to work on with intuitive interpretations and not on mixing basic insight and intuition.

Cancer69 said:

It seems that I've come with terrible habit of apologizing when it is unneeded, After Doing more reading for people I don't really know, a guess a fear has developed in being wrong, or called a liar perhaps, But As far as I aware that is not the case, The feed back is helpful, for me to see my own mistakes, they seem to be minor misinterpretations or forms of communication, still I guess it means I have a Goal to work on my communication and interpretation skills now, The readings are correct at least, I need some work though if I wanna do this as a profession.

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I often find that just in general, a lot of people apologize for things they have no control at all over. It's quite common, I see it a lot. Like at work we work on the phone and if call someone and ask for their spouse, they can get pretty apologetic...like I am so sorry but they are not home right now. When they are not responsible for whether someone is home or not...each of us is free to come and go as we please.

I myself tend to say "You too" a lot, when someone wishes me well. It just comes up without thinking, habit.

And often it makes no sense at all. Like when someone wishes me "Happy Birthday" and I say "You too" when of course it's not their birthday at all. Or when the waitress tells me to enjoy my meal and I automatically say "You too" when of course they are not having a meal. LOL

Just some habit I got into somewhere.

I think these kinds of things are just habits we pick up and learn in our pasts. We all pick some up as we go along in life.

I am sure yours is just a habit too that you picked up somewhere. Habits are not horrible, they are just habits. It just means that at some point in your life you had contact with someone who was important to you and who apologized a lot and you picked up their habit. That is all it means. Try not to give it negative labels. It tends to make it more persistent.

No one can call you a liar in Tarot. All you are doing as a reader is telling other people what YOU see in the cards. That is what a reading is. As long as you are telling what you actually saw you are not lying. Will you make a mistake as a reader. Probably at times, who doesn't. ALL human beings make mistakes in any endeavor. There is no human being alive who does not. Not even in the most important jobs in the world, even surgeons make mistakes and they can be life and death ones.

A mistake does not mean there is something wrong with you, it just means you are human, like all the rest of us. And a mistake does not mean you are a liar.

You can work on your communication skills if you feel the need. But maybe also on the need to be perfect. That is not humanly achievable and beating yourself up for something NO ONE can ever achieve is not productive. Better to accept and embrace your humanity. And to give of it warmly to others.

BTW, if there were a perfect human being somewhere in this world there lives would be awful. No mistakes means nothing to learn. Nothing to improve on. No goals. Can you seriously imagine how awful a life like that would be.

Plus such a person would have no friends, no one would want to be with them. Imagine that you had nothing ever to learn or improve. You would always do the right thing and never feel hurt. A person who cannot feel sad has no empathy for others who can. And a person with no empathy and caring is not someone who I would feel drawn too.

We are meant to be human, and to be who and what we are. Embrace that if you can and let the rest go. No one wants you to be perfect, Just do your best and that really is more than enough.

And btw, learning Tarot is something that takes a lot of time and work. Well worth it, but well...it does. Maybe you are setting too high expectations on yourself and expecting to move faster than anyone could.

At the same time, yes, if you ever want to read professionally you'd have to first break that habit of apologizing. It would make you look unconfident in your skills as a reader. And if you want to charge people, that is a real no no. But yes, habits can be broken. And confidence grows too with experience.

Babs

Grizabella said:

Once you've got some experience reading the cards, you'll get used to people's reactions. And you'll also come to know that just because something seems wrong at the time of the reading, that doesn't mean it's wrong period. I've had people tell me two or three years on that what I saw in the cards did come about after all, but just after we lost contact for awhile.

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OOoh me too.

It's not than uncommon for a reading to be right but for the querent to not be able to see. Sometimes it's what they most need to know but they are very in denial or blocking themselves from seeing it.

I once had one of those readings done for me. I was so sure there was not one grain of truth in it. It was totally wrong in every way. Worst reading ever, couldn't be more wrong. I was pretty worked up inside about how wrong it was. Which was a sign in retrospect, the amount of emotion created by it.

I read it over and over over the next few weeks. Suddenly I saw a bit here and there that ...Hey that part may well be true. By the end I realized that ALL of it was very true and accurate.

Just that I was so stuck in seeing things and myself differently that I did not want to let go of my habitual patterns of thinking to see in a new way.

That definitely happens too. That reading can be perfectly true, but the querent cannot see it. Sometimes we are just in denial about certain things, sometimes quite strongly,

Babs

The problem is that "I'm sorry" can mean both "I apologize" and "I sympathize." So if you find out that someone's loved one has died, "I'm sorry" doesn't mean you killed them, it means "I'm sorry that you have to go through that."

English is a wonderfully varied language, but it does have some..."word bottlenecks," for lack of a better term. (Which I suppose is a self-demonstrating statement...)

GREAT post SC ! I believe you should also be prepared for sitters who get downright furious when something you say touches a nerve. They invariably deny it and may call your reading a fraud. Those are the worst.

ana luisa said:

GREAT post SC ! I believe you should also be prepared for sitters who get downright furious when something you say touches a nerve. They invariably deny it and may call your reading a fraud. Those are the worst.

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I just smile, and remind them that they were the ones that shuffled and cut the deck and put the cards in that order, and I'm just reading off the cards, not making it up out of nothing.

SunChariot said:

...
I myself tend to say "You too" a lot, when someone wishes me well. It just comes up without thinking, habit.

And often it makes no sense at all. Like when someone wishes me "Happy Birthday" and I say "You too" when of course it's not their birthday at all. Or when the waitress tells me to enjoy my meal and I automatically say "You too" when of course they are not having a meal. LOL

Just some habit I got into somewhere.

I think these kinds of things are just habits we pick up and learn in our pasts. We all pick some up as we go along in life.

...

Babs

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I had to laugh at that It's a great reply SunChariot, and truly highlights that, as humans, we do have our quirks, dips, flaws and stars, which help and hinder us a long the way.

I also have habit of saying sorry when it's not really my fault... Someone kicks their toe on a chair and I will invariably blurt out "Oh, I'm sooo sorry!" It is a mix of sympathy, genuine regret that they are in pain... but, also guilt because I feel I should have been able to prevent it How to get past these hindering quirks? I don't know, other than that it helps to know and be accepting of oneself - to smile and even laugh at the faults or insecurities which at times drive us to do silly things

Reading more to help build up your confidence is really good advice, and experience will help you believe in yourself. A Tarot reading is not just about 'being right'; if you allow yourself the space to 'go with the flow' rather than searching for the 'right' answer - it may be easier to 'tune into the cards' (if that makes sense) I do believe that each card shows up for a reason, even though it can at times be hard to see why ... and like Grizabella said:

"... just because something seems wrong at the time of the reading, that doesn't mean it's wrong period"

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