Huge Adoption Spread Based On DangerDork's Separation/Reunion Spread

Glass Owl

This is a huge Adoption Spread I am working on which is based on DangerDork's Separation/Reunion Spread (15 cards). This spread can be found at:
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?p=1187294&posted=1#post1187294

I really liked DangerDork's spread a lot. But after some thought I decided to retool it a bit because my husband doesn't know anything about his biological parents and the possibly of a reunion is very small--but it is interesting nonetheless to see the possibilities. I added quite a few cards to explore the angles between the mother-child-father (since the father and mother may very well have differing opinions) and altered some wording.

Huge Adoption Spread Based On DangerDork's Separation/Reunion Spread (33) by Glass Owl

___Mother____________Child____________Father___
01/02__03/04_____9/10/__11/12_____05/06__07/08
____13______________15______________14_____
_____16 _____________18______________17______
___________ 19x20 ___________21X22__________
___23/24_________25/26__27/28________29/30___
_____________31______33*______32_____________

~~Top Row of Spread~~
1-2: (read together) What the biological mother thought at the time of the adoption/What the mother thought of her child
3-4 (read together) How the mother thinks of her child now that the child is an adult (as time has past)

5-6: (read together) What the biological father thought at the time of the adoption/What the father thought of his child
7-8 (read together) How the father thinks of his child now that the child is an adult (as time has past)

9-10: (read together) How the adoptee thought of his/her biological parents as a child/while growing up
11-12: (read together) How the adoptee views his/her biological parents now he/she has gotten older (as time has past)

~~Second Row~~
13: What the biological mother expects if there is contact
14: What the biological father expects if there is contact
15: What the adoptee expects if there is contact

~~Third Row~~
16: What the mother fears if there is contact
17: What the father fears if there is contact
18: What the adoptee fears if there is contact

~~Fourth Row~~
19/20: Crossroads: The contact/reunion itself between mother and child
(The 20 crosses the 19 as in the first 2 cards of CC.)
21/22: Crossroads: The contact/reunion itself between father and child
(The 22 crosses the 21 as in the first 2 cards of CC.)

~~Fifth Row~~
23-24: (read together) What the mother would take away from contact/reunion with her child
25-26 (read together) What the adoptee would take away from contact/reunion with mother
27-28 (read together) What the adoptee would take away from contact/reunion with father
29-30: (read together) What the father would take away from contact/reunion with his child

~~Sixth Row~
31: The future of the mother-child relationship.
32: The future of the father-child relationship.
33: Optional Card--Guidance or advice for the adoptee

dangerdork

Wow, Glass Owl, that's great!

I can't wait to go home and try it out.

I'm wondering - should the Child have separate pairs for what s/he thought of the Mother and Father vs "What s/he thought of the Parents" - and maybe also; what if the Birth Parents went their separate ways when the child was born, and the Child's contact is going to cause renewed contact and possible conflict between the two of them?

Adding another party creates additional complications... I wonder if the spread could be further tweaked to reflect those as well?

If you choose to share the results of your husband's reading with this spread, I would be eager to hear that

Glass Owl

dangerdork said:
what if the Birth Parents went their separate ways when the child was born, and the Child's contact is going to cause renewed contact and possible conflict between the two of them?

I could see someone pulling a card for this, sure, if you thought that this card was relevant for the situation. Let's say that you already knew that the adoptee had successfully located both parents and was considering on contacting both, that kind of thing.

In my husband's case though, without really any information and no contact in sight with the mother and/or the father, it would be really difficult to have a card for this question, especially since it really is a two part quesion, with the second part hinging on a first part which is a probability that could very well not happen (what if only one parent is found, one parent refuses contact with the child, one parent has passed away, etc).

Futhermore, if they went their separate ways (which is likely in my husband's case considering their young ages), I would doubt if the two would have any contact with the other, even if he could track down both of them. They probably have their own separate lives with spouses and what not. I would really doubt the two of them would agree to meet their son at the same time (especially given travel), let alone plan to do it together. Too many uncomfortable feelings unless they are still in touch. Perhaps there could be a card position for their relationship without all the parameters.

dangerdork said:
Adding another party creates additional complications... I wonder if the spread could be further tweaked to reflect those as well?

Absolutely. Or you even do a second spread to include others. Just substitute the mother/father positions for the other biological family member(s).

Thank you, thank you DangerDork for coming up with your spread. I never would have attempted such a spread with your spread as a guide. It really focused on the issues that adoptees face. I have asked for help in the past for an adoption spread and didn't have any real success. Adoption is really a complex and emotional issue and one that most people who aren't a part of this issue can really get a handle on. Heck, even those in the middle of it have a hard time with it. The bonds of DNA are a fickle thing and the fears and desires of people can drive them to do a wide range of things. And then you throw in a bunch of years for all of these feelings to stew and you've got quite a tangled web. It's no wonder why this spread needs so many cards!

As the wife of an adoptee I have seen a glimpse of your pain, loneliness, and your desire for knowledge, for your roots. I feel for you. Please, please remember that no matter what you see in the cards or what others do/don't do, you are loved and you always have the power to determine your own worth and your identity. Don't turn this over to anyone else (especially someone who doesn't even know you!) YOU decide who you are and your place in this world. How you view your past, present, and future is in Your hands. And if you ever start feeling lost just look inside of yourself and you will find that you are not alone because you are there

dangerdork said:
If you choose to share the results of your husband's reading with this spread, I would be eager to hear that

I will think about it. I used this spread tonight and I must say that it is quite a wild spread. I'm still trying to process all the information from it and the high emotions involved make it even tougher to digest and wrap my mind around it all.

(((((((Dangerdork and others in the adoption triad)))))))

Delacey

Hi Glass Owl,

Your spread looks very good. Are you using a seperate deck for each person? I'm thinking that some of the emotions/situations could be repeated for each person.

Glass Owl

Delacey said:
Hi Glass Owl,

Your spread looks very good. Are you using a seperate deck for each person? I'm thinking that some of the emotions/situations could be repeated for each person.

I haven't thought of that--now, that would be a terrific idea!