Confused

Hi everyone,

A couple of days ago I was at a Christmas party which was full of interesting people but, shy as I am, I did not really manage to get in with the crowd and got home really depressed about my pathetic social skills.

So I did a CC spread and asked: What must I know and do in order to improve my interpersonal skills?

Here's what the cards said:

1) king of cups
2) nine of pentacles
3) (top) ten of cups, reversed
4) (bottom) eight of wands
5) (left) tower, reversed
6) (right) eight of cups, reversed
7) knight of pentacles
8) death, reversed
9) six of wands
10) three of swords

I would like to add that while I was shuffling the three of swords flipped over. I put it back into the pack and shuffled again but it showed up again in position 10 so I guess I really cannot ignore it.

I am a little confused because the cards seem to reflect my feelings about this issue but do not seem to offer guidance. Do other people see it that way to or is there a ray of hope for me?

Soraya

I think the key here is the cover and crossing cards and the basis card (#1, #2 and #3).

The King of Cups as your Cover card talks about isolation and setting yourself outside of the mainstream. Here, the 9 of Pentacles seems to be indicating a lack of patience either with yourself or with social interactions in general. The basis card (10 of Cups reversed) may identify some self-esteem issues. You have the skills, but you aren't calling on them for one reason or another.

You see yourself as the Knight of Pentacles - slow and steady and not eager to go outside of your comfort zone.

The guidance here comes from the cards you can change which can have an impact on the outcome. By softening your resolve a little, you can move from the King of Cups to the Queen. Whereas the King isolates, the Queen is at least approachable - a much better attitude for social interaction.

Then take a good look at that 10 of Cups. When reversed, it does not mean an unhappy situation as one might believe. Instead, it talks about having all of the elements for things to be great, but for some reason it's just not working. Like I said, you have the skills, you just don't necessarily realize it.

Strive to be a little more like the Knight of Cups rather than the Knight of Pentacles. He still doesn't just rush in, but at least he has some forward momentum.

Soyara,
I agree with Mojo, you have what you need - you're just not ready to use it yet. -- I'm assuming your last card is the 3 of swords (you typed 3 of heart).
Your base/foundation card as the 8 of Wands shows you have what you need to get going, you just aren't willing to give up anything that you already have (8 of cups rev.) And as Mojo pointed out you see yourself as the Knight of Pentacles - slow and sure movement, but again that 8 of wands is talking to you. Use some of that swift clearing movement to blow past the fear or uncertainty.
Also with the Death card rev. in your environment area I think you'll have to move out of your safety circle right now - there won't be any change if you don't. Try new things, go new places, meet new people. When you're changing the way you interact with people most times it's easier if it's in a completely new environment.
The 6 of Wands as your hope card shows you really do want to go for it, but something is holding you back.
My suggestion is to break out of the rut you're in. If you don't you won't be happy or content (3 of swords). So make some changes even if they seem scary or difficult. They don't have to be huge ones. Even small changes will be reflected in your outlook and interaction with people.
Hope this helps!!! Think positively and go for what you want.

Gosh, I haven't talked here in so long! Whew!

Anyway, I just felt that I had to put in my $0.02 worth here. I'm only going to address the cards that sort of jumped out at me.

What I see is basically the same as Mojo. I always see the 9 of Pents as a woman (in my decks that's the picture) who is very comfortable and confident. I think you need to become more self-aware and happier with who you are. Everybody gets a little nervous at parties. I think you're afraid people will think you're dull (knight of Pent.). The Tower said to me "Past Party Disaster" and that may have shaken your confidence a bit. But in Reverse I don't think it was as bad as you're making it out to be....

You said 3 of Hearts, I automatically went to 3 of Cups. Party Time! You just become more relaxed with yourself and don't try so hard. Start by talking to your friends at the party, and then sort of include yourself in other conversations (a nice way to say "eavesdrop" ). Talking takes practice! Good Luck!

Rhiannon

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the replies and support. So there is still hope for me I just have to put in a little effort.

Unfortunately, the last card (which I misspelled on both occasions - Gosh, what does that tell me about myself?) was the three of swords not the three of cups.

The tower definitely symbolises "past party desasters" and the reversed ten of cups, in my opinion, shows that I am pretending to be happy but am not (in a crowd, that is. On my own I am quite happy).

I feel more confident now and will try to make more of an effort in party situations.

Thanks a lot, guys!

Soraya: Apologies for being so late to your query.
This is not to refute anyone else's take on the spread, all of which sound accurate & insightful.
The impression I receive is that it is your introspective personality (King-Cups) that has led you to keep to yourself as well as being shy. This tends to isolate the self from others, the societal mainstream. As such an individual, large social gatherings or crowds may not be your cuppa, but one-on-one may be more your type of social interaction.
While you have been comfortable with yourself being as you are (9-Pentacles), over time there has been an increasing awareness of the lack of social interaction (10-Cups, R) possibly due also to lack of confidence (as Mojo mentioned) & a lack of experiences &/or opportunity in general in the social milieu.
You are now ready, willing & eager (8-Wands) to revamp (16-The Tower,R) your attitude/approach & adjust even though it is not something you would consider under different circumstances. Perhaps you have plans for the future, such as reading for others, which would require you to be more at ease with the public.
To achieve a goal, one needs to be willing to take the first steps in another direction (8-Cups, R) instead of relying on the usual behavior (Knight-Pentacles). It has prevented the progress & change (13-Death, R) in the life, & likely is representative of other aspects of the life to some degree.
You have what it takes (6-wands) to achieve what is desired, so go forth!
Try not to anticipate the worse (3-Swords) as that is usually what sets one back. Proceed with an open mind & the results may well astonish you!

Dear Soraya -- I am a stone beginner, but after your kind and brilliant reading of my 5 major arcana spread I'd just like to add a vote to you having what it takes. 9 Pent is my favorite card (so far) -- the great lady in her garden, happy and independent and at peace. If you just reveal a glimpse of who you really are, who you are when you're at home, you'll knock their socks off. They'd be at your command, like the falcon on the lady's arm.

And, really, from my experience, most people at most parties feel like dolts and end up reliving their mis-steps late into the night -- unless it's a very good time, with good friends. In that case, a gathering can be very 3 of Cups. Perhaps you need to socialize with a few people you like and trust. They'll have (mostly) equally worthy friends-and-relations and you can start expanding your circle of acquaintance naturally. Follow your instincts and have your exact idea of a good time.

xoxoxo

These are wonderful interpretations! I agree with them all. I was also a *painfully* shy person, so I kind of understand what you are going through.
This is just a suggestion for using the cards to help you overcome your obstacles.
In "Tarot for Yourself," Mary Greer suggests looking for "breakthrough cards" to counteract the "obstacle cards." It sounds to me like the obstacle card is the Three of Swords (however, you might see another card in the reading as the true obstacle). If it is, you go across the wheel (if swords are air/east, then go to the west: cups) and find a card whose image seems to remove, overcome, or negate the obstacle card. In this case, I would recommend the 3 of cups; you should trust your own intuition. Then put that card in a prominent place where you can see it and meditate on it every day. You might even wish to write an affirmation to tape under the card, to repeat every day.
Just a suggestion; hope it works for you.
Good luck,
DeLani