Just Ordered The Mary-El Tarot

uraszz

Hello

I would first like to start with a disclaimer; this post is in no way intended to milk sympathy out of the many beautiful strangers within this forum. I just truly needed an outlet and felt that this was the only place I could say something and be understood. I need to be understood.

I lost my cat on the 8th of October around 4 am in the morning. I was not there to see him pass because I was working (I work night shifts) but my best friend was with him, someone who truly cared for him and looked after him.

As you can see from my profile, I live in Istanbul, Turkey. Istanbul is a great city but it's greatness has not been easy to live in for the past 2 years since I moved here. I'm in a constant financial struggle and this has been the main reason for the passing of my son.

Midori was a sick cat from the beginning. He came to me with two bad legs and an equally bad emotional state. I nurtured and healed him to the best of my ability and he lived the two years of his three year life as a happy and loved cat.

A year ago everything changed when he suddenly stopped walking. Without movement his body started to degenerate too. As I said my financial struggles to even pay my bills and rent was (and still is) such an obstacle that I couldn't give him the proper medical care that he needed. The vets here charge such an amount that it's crippling. I contacted the Animal Care Association so they could help me get Midori back up again but they never returned my calls nor messages. Midori was getting worse by the day until he couldn't stick it out anymore.

I'm in a limbo which I don't understand. I've never experienced death before. I don't know what's normal and what's not.

I ordered the Mary-El Tarot about an hour ago. It felt right, it felt like something that could pull me out of this emptiness even if it would challenge me financially. I heard that this deck comes to you when you are ready, that you feel you are ready for it. I feel ready to tackle the darkness with it. Midori was truly the light of my life and now I'm stranded

Don't know what else I can really say

Thank you for reading

Sincerely

-uraszz

DDwarks

I don't really know what to say apart from offering my sympathies x
I have pet that I love the bones off and I would be devastated if I lost him.
I'm very sorry for your loss and hope you can find some comfort in the Mary El's guidance and messages.
I don't own the deck myself but can testify of the deepeness of some decks messages.
I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
Dounia x

Padma

You must be feeling so distracted, confused, and hurt, Uraszz! :heart:

I am sorry to hear of the passing of your cat, Midori. I am also sorry that the animal agency did not help you out.

Keep in mind that you gave him a beautiful life, and it is quality that counts, not quantities... :heart:

The Mary-El is a very special deck, and the artist is very talented. There are many threads on this deck, both pro and con. I ordered it myself, looked through it, and passed it on to another, who quite loves it! So I think it is a really personal reaction. I guess you can only know if the deck will help you and be your friend once you receive it. It is a reallllly personal deck, I think.

If you felt it call you, no doubt it may help you. I did not find it particularly dark, myself, just very different and I felt very uneasy with some of the images in it.

You may be relieved to know that the Death card is the most beautiful piece of art I have ever seen - Death as compassion, wisdom, gentleness, serenity.

I hope you can draw some solace from her cards.

PS some here have chopped the borders and titles off of it, and used it as an oracle deck, to great satisfaction. You may want to do that (or not).

AJ

nothing is normal when grieving. Take care of yourself, and I hope you enjoy your new deck when it comes. And welcome to AT, we love new members

uraszz

DDwarks said:
I don't really know what to say apart from offering my sympathies x
I have pet that I love the bones off and I would be devastated if I lost him.
I'm very sorry for your loss and hope you can find some comfort in the Mary El's guidance and messages.
I don't own the deck myself but can testify of the deepeness of some decks messages.
I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
Dounia x

Thank you Dounia. I wish your pet a full, healthy and happy life. Every creature on this Earth deserves love

I have experienced profound insight with the Fountain Tarot which brought me to a place of deep understanding. I feel that the Mary-El will take me further on my spiritual journey

-uraszz

Michellehihi

uraszz said:
Hello

I would first like to start with a disclaimer; this post is in no way intended to milk sympathy out of the many beautiful strangers within this forum. I just truly needed an outlet and felt that this was the only place I could say something and be understood. I need to be understood.

I lost my cat on the 8th of October around 4 am in the morning. I was not there to see him pass because I was working (I work night shifts) but my best friend was with him, someone who truly cared for him and looked after him.

As you can see from my profile, I live in Istanbul, Turkey. Istanbul is a great city but it's greatness has not been easy to live in for the past 2 years since I moved here. I'm in a constant financial struggle and this has been the main reason for the passing of my son.

Midori was a sick cat from the beginning. He came to me with two bad legs and an equally bad emotional state. I nurtured and healed him to the best of my ability and he lived the two years of his three year life as a happy and loved cat.

A year ago everything changed when he suddenly stopped walking. Without movement his body started to degenerate too. As I said my financial struggles to even pay my bills and rent was (and still is) such an obstacle that I couldn't give him the proper medical care that he needed. The vets here charge such an amount that it's crippling. I contacted the Animal Care Association so they could help me get Midori back up again but they never returned my calls nor messages. Midori was getting worse by the day until he couldn't stick it out anymore.

I'm in a limbo which I don't understand. I've never experienced death before. I don't know what's normal and what's not.

I ordered the Mary-El Tarot about an hour ago. It felt right, it felt like something that could pull me out of this emptiness even if it would challenge me financially. I heard that this deck comes to you when you are ready, that you feel you are ready for it. I feel ready to tackle the darkness with it. Midori was truly the light of my life and now I'm stranded

Don't know what else I can really say

Thank you for reading

Sincerely

-uraszz

I am sorry for your loss and I totally understand you. I lost my dog last June and I cried so much, I started writing letters to him everyday and talking to him. And I still talk to him in the silence of my heart.
It was a great idea to buy the Mary-El, you will find it very profound and helpful. I suggest to try and find the intuitive meaning for each card by yourself before looking at the book.

uraszz

Padma said:
You must be feeling so distracted, confused, and hurt, Uraszz!

I am sorry to hear of the passing of your cat, Midori. I am also sorry that the animal agency did not help you out.

Keep in mind that you gave him a beautiful life, and it is quality that counts, not quantities...

The Mary-El is a very special deck, and the artist is very talented. There are many threads on this deck, both pro and con. I ordered it myself, looked through it, and passed it on to another, who quite loves it! So I think it is a really personal reaction. I guess you can only know if the deck will help you and be your friend once you receive it. It is a reallllly personal deck, I think.

If you felt it call you, no doubt it may help you. I did not find it particularly dark, myself, just very different and I felt very uneasy with some of the images in it.

You may be relieved to know that the Death card is the most beautiful piece of art I have ever seen - Death as compassion, wisdom, gentleness, serenity.

I hope you can draw some solace from her cards.

PS some here have chopped the borders and titles off of it, and used it as an oracle deck, to great satisfaction. You may want to do that (or not).

Thank you very so much for these words. My only true solace is that I know that he was happy and loved. Even when he got sick again me and my family always showered him with attention and love

I experienced the same thing with the Prisma Visions Tarot. It looked great online and very ingenious but when I received it (it was a gift from a special person) I couldn't connect with it. It is now being used by my student (my flat-mate) fruitfully

What is truly helping me through this process is my understanding of Death as I've learned through the Tarot. My son is now on his next step in his existence and he's starting anew.

I plan on trimming the edges and writing the titles with a silver metallic pen like Marie White suggested but I'm going to wait until I actually hold the deck to really understand if it's OK to do or not

Thank you very much

-uraszz

uraszz

AJ said:
nothing is normal when grieving. Take care of yourself, and I hope you enjoy your new deck when it comes. And welcome to AT, we love new members

I'm trying to tell myself the same thing

It's great to get more acquainted with this phenomenal community

-uraszz

uraszz

Michellehihi said:
I am sorry for your loss and I totally understand you. I lost my dog last June and I cried so much, I started writing letters to him everyday and talking to him. And I still talk to him in the silence of my heart.
It was a great idea to buy the Mary-El, you will find it very profound and helpful. I suggest to try and find the intuitive meaning for each card by yourself before looking at the book.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope he's in a better place now. I want to draw cards like a conversation between me and Midori but I'm scared really. I might do it in time

That is what I plan on doing first. I've read that it is truly a personal deck so I want to first establish my own structure before reading the book

-uraszz

Padma

uraszz said:
Thank you very so much for these words. My only true solace is that I know that he was happy and loved. Even when he got sick again me and my family always showered him with attention and love

I experienced the same thing with the Prisma Visions Tarot. It looked great online and very ingenious but when I received it (it was a gift from a special person) I couldn't connect with it. It is now being used by my student (my flat-mate) fruitfully

What is truly helping me through this process is my understanding of Death as I've learned through the Tarot. My son is now on his next step in his existence and he's starting anew.

I plan on trimming the edges and writing the titles with a silver metallic pen like Marie White suggested but I'm going to wait until I actually hold the deck to really understand if it's OK to do or not

Thank you very much

-uraszz

BIG HUGS ((((((((uraszz)))))))) :heart:

I've been through many losses to death - my pets, my parents, my brothers. My friends. In time, all wounds heal; and what I know for sure, with my animals, is that they hang around for a while, giving us comfort

May you be well, Urassz, and may Midori be blessed, with an easy crossing at the rainbow bridge :livelong:

As for the deck, well, you will know when you have it in your hands