Doesn't professional mean leave your personal judgments at the door?

Heavensent

(((Pao))).

I agree with everyone here. The New Yorker in me says you should've told her to sit on a jagged salted ice pick and twirl :mad:. You know deep in your heart of hearts, she wasn't a good reader and has a personal ax to grind with the world. If she felt so strongly about God knowing it all, then why didn't she use that strength to draw off of to do the reading. God is the first person to tell you not to judge as this woman did you. What it seemed like she was doing was trying to get you to stop calling or dealing with Tarot. I do think you should report her and if you need a reading, though I'm a little rusty, I'll give you one. Know she has issues, know she's a fraud, know she's single handedly trying to take down her "mentor's" business and know that this particular reading just wasn't for you. You do know that right?

We all get down and hit some very rough patches in life. Trust me, I've dragged my patookas on the emory board of life many of days but all I do is eventually dust myself off and start again. You'll get insight. Just trust the process and this woman was NOT part of the process.

Love and hugs:angel:.
 

Pao

Thank you Heaventsent for your words! I have like a 30 sec in this case 30 min delay for these types of things otherwise i think i would've hung up. I just keep thinking about this and telling myself 1. she was wrong she was not a good reader or one at all. 2. I have to remember this for when I read and if I am in a bad mood I had to not read for that person or if I dont feel comfortable with the topic i have to say i dont want to read for them. Although, how do you put that in a non-insulting way? "I'm sorry I don't read on that topic" ? and 3. Also taught me how confident I should sound when reading but NOT push my views or what i see abruptly like this lady did. there is a thin line between confidence and a condecending tone making the client feel bad for their actions.
 

moderndayruth

Pao said:
Thank you Heaventsent for your words! I have like a 30 sec in this case 30 min delay for these types of things otherwise i think i would've hung up. I just keep thinking about this and telling myself 1. she was wrong she was not a good reader or one at all. 2. I have to remember this for when I read and if I am in a bad mood I had to not read for that person or if I dont feel comfortable with the topic i have to say i dont want to read for them. Although, how do you put that in a non-insulting way? "I'm sorry I don't read on that topic" ? and 3. Also taught me how confident I should sound when reading but NOT push my views or what i see abruptly like this lady did. there is a thin line between confidence and a condecending tone making the client feel bad for their actions.

Pao, the thing is that you did nothing wrong! She had absolutely no right to imply otherwise! Of course, if someone asks me to read for them on topics that are totally morally wrong - inflicting pain, abusing others, illegal or whatsoever - i wouldn't do that and i have no problem saying so; but unless these are the cases which are excluded by common sense if nothing else - no one has the right to decide about your actions except you and the Guy above (or whatever you call the Higher Power).
Based on what she told you, she is an uneducated, mean and straightaway obnoxious individual who should be banned from reading for others.

Personally i have my own issues with certain questions, but i don't advertise as pro and i don't charge, so i can be choosy when it comes to my sitters' questions... When i am paid to interpret for someone, i don't get to control what they are saying (and, accordingly, i am not held accountable for what they are saying). I don't interpret hate speech and obscenities, rarely would any pro, everything else - as you please. I am trying to make a comparison, but the rules should be similar for any profession - if a person aspires to be a professional, than there are rules to be obeyed... your quasi-reader broke them all and should be held responsible for that. Btw, i don't think it matters you said you were content back than - you were in the state of shock, you can still report her.
Best of luck hun!
 

nicky

Pao - sorry to read this. She is an ass.

professional means leave your personal judgments at the door. period.

Now having said that, I am not implying it is easy to do, but that is part of the job.

She is no rabbi and she is no psychiatrist - and thus not qualified to comment to your 'issues'. Any rabbi or psychiatrist would have training to form opinions about how to help ...not how to make things worse.

You paid her to read the cards. She did not do that. F* her
 

Shade

Yowza that wasn't a very useful reading. It is ok to be firm with a client but what this lady did was pretty wacky.

I feel that a tarot reading should be empowering. You can deliver bad news and be empowering, but just giving someone a big rainy cloud without also handing them an umbrella isn't a good way to treat your clients.

I've had people call about wanting to have affairs and I just looked at what the cards had to say. They have, on occasion, suggested that having the affair would be to the client's benefit in the long run and that's what I - cautiously - told them.
 

SunChariot

Shade said:
I've had people call about wanting to have affairs and I just looked at what the cards had to say. They have, on occasion, suggested that having the affair would be to the client's benefit in the long run and that's what I - cautiously - told them.

Exactly, we can't know what is right for another person no matter what our personal feelings are. In my world view anyway, our lives are made up of life lessons that are there to help our souls progress. We can't know what form these are meant to take beforehand. Maybe someone is meant to have an affair and their soul needs to learn what it will learn from that. Things align when they are meant to and that means that all parties involved are meant to be involved in that experience and learn what they are meant to from it. I don't believe things are random in life. Things come to us when and because we need them too.

There is no way for us to judge what is meant to be or why. Each case is different and invidual. That is only for a higher power to decide, not for humans, in my view anyway. All we are meant to do is read the cards, and hopefully to be caring in the process, and keep the rest out of it.

Babs
 

Grizabella

Even if this reader would have first commented "Oh I think he's just a bum and you should move on. You're going to have a better future, I'm sure. Let's see what the cards say." and then read what the cards did say, and ONLY that, it would have been different.

To say you should be married and have kids by now was way off base. Passing that off as something that the cards would have said was just plain wrong.

We're not automated vending machines, so we do have opinions and sometimes our heart goes out to a sitter so much that we might share a little of our own life to commiserate and try to cheer them up, but it's what the cards reveal that the sitter is paying for, bottom line. Saying "Oh man, I've had this feeling (or this experience), too, and it really gets a person down, doesn't it?" is fine and is a "warm fuzzy" to share with a sitter and put them at ease. I've done small things like that and it's with the intent of making them not feel so alone and to bolster their self-confidence.

This is a pretty old thread, but for new readers of it, I'd strongly suggest reporting the person and asking for a refund. I worked for an online service about 10 years ago and their policy was that if the sitter disputed the fee because they were unhappy with the reader, then they got a refund. They didn't even consult the reader to see if it was warranted that they be given a refund. It never happened to me but I did see a lot of comments about it on another forum I was part of for moms working at home who had signed up there.