When a readers rituals scare the client...

I had a paid reading at the weekend, I didn’t particularly like it (but that’s another story).

A few things stuck out when she was reading for me, and they made me feel uncomfortable:
1) The same spread over and over, which consisted of about 16 cards each time she re-spread the cards.I understand people have spreads they like, but it felt a bit excessive to redo the redo the same spread over and over to clarify the first spread, a few cards maybe but not the full 16 again. Each spread it felt like she only picked 2 or 3 things up from the cards themselves, even with soo many cards spread out.

2) The slightly OCD way she kept stopping the reading to reshuffle and had to always have the cards the right way up, which felt like it wasted valuable reading time.

3) For each spread she pulled fanned out the cards on the table and asked me to select with my left hand a number of cards. I am naturally right handed so occasionally I would start to use my right had to select cards, she then we shout 'I said right' in a tone that made me think that it would ruin her whole deck if I used the wrong hand.

Now I am all for respecting other peoples way to read, however the whole ritual side of it took the enjoyment out of the reading, I felt one false move and she would have declared I had ruined her reading or the deck. I felt uncomfortable during the 30 mins and found myself, waiting for the time to finish.
Now the issues I had with the reading could have been because I didn’t think the reading was that good, I am sure if the reading was good I would not have had any gripes about how she read.


So now I have a couple of questions that I would like to open up for discussion:

A) Has anyone else found other readers rituals slightly scary when having them read for you?
B) Would knowing someone's reading style help you select a reader?
C) How do you register your dissatisfaction, or do you not bother?

Nik

PS I didn’t try and backseat read, I tried to not focus on the cards and what I saw and let her come up with information.
PSS if this is in the incorrect forum please move it mods, and sorry!

214red said:

A) Has anyone else found other readers rituals slightly scary when having them read for you?

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Not scary, no. I don't get paid readings, but once in a while I will swap readings with a friend, because she's a friend and she wants to and she really enjoys reading for me. She has a habit of wrapping me (or all her clients) up with a white silk shawl "for protection". I don't feel I need "protection" - I'm not at risk in any way during readings. I feel mildly embarrassed on her behalf, more than anything.

214red said:

B) Would knowing someone's reading style help you select a reader?

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Nope.

214red said:

C) How do you register your dissatisfaction, or do you not bother?[/b]

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She's a friend. She likes reading for me. I let it lie.

Hi 214red,

I use a spread with a lot of cards. I lay them out and read on whatever comes up.....then if the person has another question or we move on from that subject I will shuffle and pull another 15 cards again. Sometimes I will pull more cards.... but I get into the zone and I get lost - it isn't about what does this card mean and that card mean for me. I do have the client cut the deck with their left hand (left because it goes to your heart) in the beginning but any other spreads I lay out I cut and shuffle. I like the cards right way up as well and I right them as I lay them out. I use the cards as a means of focus. I am not always "reading" the cards.... sometimes I read them, sometimes they spark my intuition or whatever you want to call it.

So when I read your post I chuckled because it sounded like you got a reading from me!

As for your questions:

A) Has anyone else found other readers rituals slightly scary when having them read for you?
B) Would knowing someone's reading style help you select a reader?
C) How do you register your dissatisfaction, or do you not bother?

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No, no one has said anything to me about my style. People are comfortable with me. Many times they sit down and are very very nervous and I try to make them comfortable... calm them and dispel their fear of me and of the whole process. I make a joke or a big smile or something. I get gentle with them. If you know me gentle is not the first word you would use to describe me.

I wouldn't care about another's style. I just want a good reading or help with an issue so if it came I wouldn't care what the style was. I have had some odd readings from people..... I enjoy watching the way others read - it is interesting to me.

I wouldn't bother saying anything - it is like not liking the way another person is eating, or walking or breathing .... It's not like you are going to change them - so why bother them.

nisaba said:

Not scary, no. I don't get paid readings, but once in a while I will swap readings with a friend, because she's a friend and she wants to and she really enjoys reading for me. She has a habit of wrapping me (or all her clients) up with a white silk shawl "for protection". I don't feel I need "protection" - I'm not at risk in any way during readings. I feel mildly embarrassed on her behalf, more than anything.


Nope.


She's a friend. She likes reading for me. I let it lie.

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If this wasnt a paid reading and was a friend i would let it lie and ignore the issues, but i paid for it and i like to get what i pay for Especially as this was the first paid for reading i had gotten since starting tarot all those years ago

hi Franniee

as i said if she was good i wouldnt care if she did a couple 78 card spreads

my friend has a reading just after my reading, and when discussing the readings we found the same themes came up for both of us even though we were in different situations
hmm maybe i will ignore it, but something doesnt sit right with it

thanks for your reply

214red said:

hi Franniee

as i said if she was good i wouldnt care if she did a couple 78 card spreads

my friend has a reading just after my reading, and when discussing the readings we found the same themes came up for both of us even though we were in different situations
hmm maybe i will ignore it, but something doesnt sit right with it

thanks for your reply

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Many Many professionals and I use that term loosely CAN'T read and don't have a psychic/intuitive bone in their body. In NYC they are a dime a dozen and charge way more than that! They are charlatans! They stand on the street and try an coax you in with fear etc. It is gross, but it is what it is. I can tell within a few moments if I am getting a good reading or not..... when it is not I sit back and enjoy the show. When I was younger they had me for much longer..... but never fully because deep down I knew what was going on. Anyway I digress.....try another person - possible with recommendations.

Hi 214red,

I read your description of what happened and, I wasn't there of course, think it wouldn't have bothered me. It may be that your most important question is your second:

"Would knowing someone's reading style help you select a reader?"

I would have to say that clearly you prefer a more laid-back style, and it is good now that you know that. The trouble is how do you find out that ahead of time? About the only way that I can think of is if you know others who have gone to a particular reader.

I don't think that I would bother to complain because what could be accomplished? She isn't going to be able to change her style on the spot and if she gave you an honest reading to the best of her ability, well, you got your money's worth in most senses.

Alta

I think if someone (especially a professional, as they should know better) did a reading for me like that it would make me uncomfortable. It sounds like they were trying to scare/worry you with superstition so you believe blindly what they say as they obviously MUST know all the answers with their ritualistic way of doing it. It must have also put you off from asking many clarifying questions - which they may not have been able to answer. I know I would have been too uncomfortable to ask anything!

Emily x

Alta said:

Hi 214red,

I read your description of what happened and, I wasn't there of course, think it wouldn't have bothered me. It may be that your most important question is your second:

"Would knowing someone's reading style help you select a reader?"

I would have to say that clearly you prefer a more laid-back style, and it is good now that you know that. The trouble is how do you find out that ahead of time? About the only way that I can think of is if you know others who have gone to a particular reader.

I don't think that I would bother to complain because what could be accomplished? She isn't going to be able to change her style on the spot and if she gave you an honest reading to the best of her ability, well, you got your money's worth in most senses.

Alta

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the problem with not complaining like any other service, other people get ripped off. this wasnt an on the corner reader she was in a very respected london mystic show where they have many readers (i have had a few readings there from other readers). i am thinking about it seriously because i dont want to damage someones reputation, perhaps if she said tarot reader rather then' psychic tarot reader' it would have been clearer. As a tarot reader she was fine, as a psychic tarot reader she wasnt.

Emylicious said:

I think if someone (especially a professional, as they should know better) did a reading for me like that it would make me uncomfortable. It sounds like they were trying to scare/worry you with superstition so you believe blindly what they say as they obviously MUST know all the answers with their ritualistic way of doing it. It must have also put you off from asking many clarifying questions - which they may not have been able to answer. I know I would have been too uncomfortable to ask anything!

Emily x

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i must clarify i dont scare easily, and i dont even think she wasnt trying to scare me, i think she is rigid in the way she reads. i stopped asking questions because i knew she wouldnt be able to tell me specifics as a expected a psychic tarot reader to do so, and so far she got too much wrong about my past to trust what she says about the future

although since i ignored my spirit guides advice in getting a reading, its likely its my own fault