Doesn't professional mean leave your personal judgments at the door?

Gregory said:

A reading is supposed at the very least to be helpful,...

Click to expand...

And that's the point. A reading should be helpful, give advice, even show negative aspects of what the querent is doing and then what the person could do to make things better. Remember: A reading is never written in stone. It just suggests possible alternatives, solutions, advice whatever.

Wow, Pao...I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sometimes, I think readers get so caught up in their own personal dramas (or feelings of grandeur) that those things take over...but then, they shouldn't be reading for others if they can't be impartial and non-judgmental--and they are the ones who give good readers a bad rap. I don't know what to say about this reader except that if I were you, I would contact the site owner and let her know how disappointed you were with the reading "skills" of that person. (And let her know it wasn't because you wanted to hear X and the reader told you Y...but tell her what you told us here.) She (the site owner) should be grateful to get some honest feedback about someone who is on her site and probably dragging her reputation down without her even realizing it...

(((((((Pao)))))))

She was a terrible reader! I can say this with certainty because what you came away from the reading was worse than when you entered! That is WRONG! Personal opinions should not enter into a reading, I mean judgmental ones - I think you hit a nerve. Her ego played far too greatly into this reading. It smacks of "someone done me wrong onetime......."

I am sorry this happened to you. No fun!

I know that sometimes we get asked questions that we may not exactly want to read on and we are human so we are like "UGH" but just because we are annoyed by it doesnt give me the right to make the quarant feel bad for asking it in the first place or tell them their concern is a stupid one. "Well you got fired you're not ever getting that job back just move on" if something is important to the quarant and needs help they are not paying me to hear my opinions on their life or on my judgments of their actions. i am only being paid to read whats in the cards and God knows why the Queen of wands means i should be married by now and i suck because i am not. really! How the hell does she know if my spiritual work is not working?? because you got the fool and magician reversed i have to give up on my spiritual work because the negative people wont leave anyway?? Why would she not suggest how i can change or better my spiritual work instead of saying "yea that doesnt work". isnt that what Tarot is for?? to suggest different ways yo help and assist a situation or go about it a different way?? i hope this helps me keep my judgments to myself when i read. i dont know if i can really complain about her. she is really high up on the site. Most people might not complain because they are not readers like I am but being a reader i think gave me a leg up in figuring out that this woman is not a good reader. Lord knows how she advices people on rootwork for God's sake.....scary.

Also no one is forcing us to do a reading on a question we are don't want to read on. We can always stop and tell the client that we don't want to read on that question and why. We always have the reason to do that when we have a valid reason. If there is no reason then we are there to help. And we have to get into the mind set of the client and want to help, by giving them what it is THEY need.

Either we agree to read for someone and to try to help or to me, if you don't want to do that then refuse to do the reading.

Babs

I've only gone through Page 1 of the thread so far, but I need to post a reply. That reading was APPALLING. I can't believe anyone could call themselves a professional and come out with that nonsense. And this reader passed a screening first? If they offered up a reading like that and got accepted, it casts doubt on the interview process and/or the interviewer, IMO.

Allow me to add my name to the list of people from this site who'd gladly read for you, SANS judgement. Readings are supposed to be informing and empowering, not discouraging and deflating.

Pao said:

at least I learned what not to do with my own clients.

Click to expand...

I'm reminded of the theory that some people exist in order to be a negative example or a cautionary tale to others. That reader has inspired everyone who has reviewed this thread to behave like her polar opposite.

Not only is judging people WRONG, but it will close their ears to anything constructive we might have to say.

A caller not long ago told me that she was having an affair on her husband. She said that she keeps telling herself to stop doing it, but she "can't help herself" and returns to the paramour. Later in the conversation, she volunteered this: "I'm not the kind of person who commits adultery!"

I had to bite my tongue on bluntly stating, "Well, actually, yes you are; you told me so yourself", because that, to me, would have crossed the "be non-judgemental" line in a major way. Moreover, if I had said that, if she didn't flat out hang up on the spot, she would have shut down and closed her ears to anything else I said, and there were some things on the table in front of me she really needed to know. Like the part where if she ran off on her husband, she was in for a serious bout of Five-of-Pentacles financial distress.

Deep down, I am hoping she seeks marital counseling and spares herself and her husband a great deal of grief. But my personal opinion has no place in giving a reading. Without passing judgement on her personally, it was possible to outline the pitfalls she's at risk of falling into and the options open to her (including counseling). So that was what I did.

My goodness Pao, you know how to pick em don't you? Of course a reader (professional or otherwise) should not judge others whilst reading, its unethical in every way.

I'm wondering if you were supposed to have this reading so that something will be done about this very judgmental reader?

Contact the site owner and make a formal complaint in writing.
Ask for your money back because you didn't get a reading, only her opinions.
If you paid by credit card - contact your CC company to obtain a refund.

If they don't wish to take your complaint seriously, I would say name and shame em.

Clearly you know that this 'reading' was unacceptable and off key hence you posted about it. Don't believe a word of it but do think about why it was you who experienced this and not someone really WAY more vulnerable. You can cope with it, you have all your friends on AT to support you and you know a thing or two about reading tarot. It can't be mere coincidence.

I wonder what part of this experience will make you stronger and help to stop this misguided person from hurting someone else?

[[[[[[[[[Pao]]]]]]]]]]]

((((Pao))))

You should do the things that Millie has suggested above. I think it really is all of our responsibility to "police" ourselves. All it takes is one bad experience with a shady reader... like this one, to cast a shadow over us all and give local authorities (who most likely don't really like having us around anyway) an excuse to shut down all the reading businesses, including the legitimate ones.

Sheri

shelikes2read said:

I'm reminded of the theory that some people exist in order to be a negative example or a cautionary tale to others. That reader has inspired everyone who has reviewed this thread to behave like her polar opposite.

.

Click to expand...

well she sure has inspired ME! i still keep thinking about it and I remembered the last thing she said "you can try doing with spell so your situation gets better. Don't get your hopes up because it only works for some but you should try it" no after speaking with you why would i get my hopes up about anything, lets face it ill die an old maid broke with daddy issues and nobody wants me so.....WHY would i do any spell or spiritual work?!

Milfoil said:

My goodness Pao, you know how to pick em don't you?

Click to expand...

What can i say I have a gift for picking and finding every sort of lunatic out there! go me!

Milfoil said:

I'm wondering if you were supposed to have this reading so that something will be done about this very judgmental reader?

Contact the site owner and make a formal complaint in writing.
Ask for your money back because you didn't get a reading, only her opinions.
If you paid by credit card - contact your CC company to obtain a refund.

If they don't wish to take your complaint seriously, I would say name and shame em.

Click to expand...

I thought about that but the lady before hanging up said "i know i didn't tell you what you wanted to hear but do you think you got your money's worth?" and because I am a chicken s4*t and hate confrontation i said "yea thanks bye" I should've complained right there but honestly i felt at that point like i had been brain washed and what she said was true. It took me a day of fully analysing everything and getting mad and then putting on here to realize that it sounds like cold reading regardless of the cards she got because the Queen on wands to me doesnt have an age of marriage on it. She is also very high up on the site. She manages it and studied right under the owner/author of it so I am a bit apprehensive about complaining. I will however tell people on there my experience when they ask about her.

Milfoil said:

Don't believe a word of it but do think about why it was you who experienced this and not someone really WAY more vulnerable. You can cope with it, you have all your friends on AT to support you and you know a thing or two about reading tarot. It can't be mere coincidence.

I wonder what part of this experience will make you stronger and help to stop this misguided person from hurting someone else?

[[[[[[[[[Pao]]]]]]]]]]]

Click to expand...

yes i mean i was very vulnerable already which is why i paid for a reading when normally i'd just exchange on here but i was feeling desperate, it was a very bad week for me. but i actually get angrier thinking of a person who does not read and is very distraught and needs help and what will this woman tell them. Maybe something about my personality put her off and she felt threatened i dont know but if she is like this with every client its pretty sad and shameful.

Sheri said:

((((Pao))))

You should do the things that Millie has suggested above. I think it really is all of our responsibility to "police" ourselves. All it takes is one bad experience with a shady reader... like this one, to cast a shadow over us all and give local authorities (who most likely don't really like having us around anyway) an excuse to shut down all the reading businesses, including the legitimate ones.

Sheri

Click to expand...

oh yea this is why people don't believe i am a good reader and not a con artist when i tell them i read. Because this woman offers magickal services also and i dont know how much she charges for that nor do i know why she didnt offer me any...oh yes i do its because i suck and my spiritual work doesnt work ugh. but boy this angers me and at the same time i think I am a great reader why have i had bad luck getting clients? i try to stay focused and objective and try not to judge. i hold my tongue. its a backwards world we live in!