Is there something wrong with me...

nisaba

.traveller. said:
Why do I get the feeling that Nisaba's desire for new tarots never wanes?
Well ... it might one day ... it's only been about thirty years ...
 

Elven

Im o overload too traveller.
It has helped - there have been plenty of benefits from this waning of buying decks.
Im onto my quality not quantity kick now - and thats helped me financially.
Some decks are about to be sold.
'Release the burden' :)
 

AJ

And really, buying/acquiring/owning tarot decks has nothing to do with using/reading tarot. All that part of it should have a forum in a different building so to speak :) Yet it is much of what makes up AT. If there were only three decks in the world we wouldn't have much to talk about, we'd have to be reading to and for each other to keep the place alive.
 

Kissa

Great thread!!! .traveller, thank you so much for starting it :)

As Seeker*13* mentioned, you still carry a deck with you so your interest/passion in tarot hasn't vanished.
Your interest in collecting seems to have gone though... Could come back, or not... Then again it doesn't seem to be your thing at the moment since even when you give yourself the permission to buy a new deck, you don't find anything satisfying.
(Are you feeling ok otherwise, my dear? i know these phases when you lose interest in something you used to love, you might be right in the middle of good ol' depression. The tone you used in your message, you seem tired and down, is it only related to your tarot issue or is there something bigger going on that would just steal your joy in life? -- I am NOT fishing for answers from you, merely asking questions that should trigger some answer in you or be immediately discarded if you know i am wrong).

Many of us have ups and downs with tarot, sometimes the relationship is very close, sometimes more distant... yet tarot never walks away from your life that easily.

Can you identify what in your current tarot "behavior" causes the more trouble to you exactly? ... *I prepared a list of the possible symptoms based on my own experience (i would love to hear more about others' faith crises btw)*:
- Have you lost interest in reading for yourself?
- Have you lost interest in reading for others?
- Have you lost interest in manipulating cards (shuffling, watching, arranging your packs)?
- Have you lost interest in reading about tarot cards in books or here on the forum?
- Have you lost confidence in your ability to read the cards?
- Have you lost confidence in the whole tarot thing? (for me, tarot is a counseling tool, so if i ever came to think it doesn't help me see more clearly my challenges and my options, i'd throw the collection away... or send the whole bunch to nisaba ;-) )

- If you have lost confidence in the whole tarot thing, can you point out why:
--> you had recurrent stupid/totally hermetic/meaningless/bad/inappropriate readings and grew frustrated
--> you started to think anew (something happened in your spiritual life) and realized tarot just doesn't work with you for some reason
--> you started questioning the whole Golden Dawn role in tarot, you did your homework and found out that tarot existed long before GD's mysticism was introduced in it. Questioning GD's role, you questioned their "products", tarot included.
--> you started thinking: "all decks are GD inspired (RWS clones or Thoth clones) so ultimately, once i've had one, i've had them all... what new insights can new decks bring to me??... aren't they just a more and more diluted juice of the same source?"

I would really really like to help you out there. Sometimes though, just time or some special event can bring us back "home" ;-)

Blessings,

Kissa
 

emmsma

I too am going through a down period. I just can't get myself to read. I'm actually still buying and can be excited about a deck on the way, but I look at it and put it away.

I miss reading, but lately don't seem to have the energy or capacity for it. I remember being excited for the next week's exchange, but that seems to be gone for now.

I know it will return, but it is a bit sad for me right now.

I do get enjoyment from looking at the collection, arranging it. I have a few bags I am working on, and even that I don't seem to have the energy for.

And to address a few more of Kissa's points (Hope its ok, and you don't feel i am hi-jacking your thread):

- I'm not wanting to read for myself or others. I am able to occasionally flip through a deck, to see what the cards mean to me. Not really taking it as a reading, but as an exploration of the card.

- I do rearrange all the time. Even changing out who I carry in my bag almost daily. Not shuffling much.

-I've never been much into tarot books. Huson's might be the only one I ever got through. Here on the boards, there is less and less of interest to me.

-I've not lost confidence in myself or the cards, just a will to formulate a question and then go with it.
 

.traveller.

Kissa said:
Can you identify what in your current tarot "behavior" causes the more trouble to you exactly? ... *I prepared a list of the possible symptoms based on my own experience (i would love to hear more about others' faith crises btw)*:
Oh boy, a questionnaire... :p
Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in reading for yourself?
Not exactly. I still read but not much is going on so I'm mostly doing weekly 3 card forecasts. I also did a love forecast for giggles that I posted.
Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in reading for others?
Kind of. People just ask the same questions over and over, and I just feel like if they didn't listen to the last reader why would they listen to me? Just feels a little pointless to put out the effort.
Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in manipulating cards (shuffling, watching, arranging your packs)?
Yeah. Seems like too much bother so they stay whereever I used them last.
Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in reading about tarot cards in books or here on the forum?
I lost interest in tarot books a long time ago. I still like to do forum searches on various cards for the rare gem that pops up.
Kissa said:
- Have you lost confidence in your ability to read the cards?
Somewhat. I can't say I always trust what I read despite having a fairly good track record.
Kissa said:
- Have you lost confidence in the whole tarot thing? (for me, tarot is a counseling tool, so if i ever came to think it doesn't help me see more clearly my challenges and my options, i'd throw the collection away... or send the whole bunch to nisaba ;-) )
I'm pretty certain that I do not possess any decks that she wants that she doesn't already own. However I did consider just putting them on a boat and sending them her way anyhow. :D For self diagnosis and counseling, I only need two: The Grail and RWS, and they still do the job admirably.
Kissa said:
- If you have lost confidence in the whole tarot thing, can you point out why:
--> you had recurrent stupid/totally hermetic/meaningless/bad/inappropriate readings and grew frustrated
I've received a slew of readings that were just bad for any number of reasons over the past few years, and they had the curious effect of making me feel like I'm the one who can't read. I've had good readings too, but the bad ones just seem to stick.
Kissa said:
--> you started to think anew (something happened in your spiritual life) and realized tarot just doesn't work with you for some reason
You may have something here. I often just "know" things and lately cards just seem to get in the way. Why pick up the cards when I already know?
Kissa said:
--> you started questioning the whole Golden Dawn role in tarot, you did your homework and found out that tarot existed long before GD's mysticism was introduced in it. Questioning GD's role, you questioned their "products", tarot included.
Really couldn't say, I've been doing divination for over 27 years and I can't really say what is GD or not anymore. My style is more of a personal hybrid that has developed over time. Anyway, I think the Golden dawn stuff was just made up by a bunch of guys sitting in a dark room getting high on opium. If they can make up stuff, so can I.
Kissa said:
--> you started thinking: "all decks are GD inspired (RWS clones or Thoth clones) so ultimately, once i've had one, i've had them all... what new insights can new decks bring to me??... aren't they just a more and more diluted juice of the same source?"
See above :D


Well that was fun :party:
 

.traveller.

Elven said:
'Release the burden' :)

They do feel like a burden. Like a litter of puppies, you love them all but you do not have the time and resources to care for them, you give them away so they bring joy to someone else thereby relinquishing the burden upon yourself.
 

Water Lady

I got rid of most everything about 2-3 years ago and am very sorry. If you are thinking this, put them in a box in the back of a closet and let them sit....
You will change your mind, it is only a matter of when.

Life changes and we change with it, our interest can not stay so strong all the time in just one place, not sure who said it...
But I agree that maybe you have risen above buying and will, after a rest, be just interested in reading and learning more.

I can see how when your new, you think another deck will be just the answer for the perfect reading or understanding and I do understand the collecting thing - although it is not for me.
I just want a deack that talks to me and they are usually pretty and simple.
But then after many years of off and on, I am just a beginner.

Good luck.
 

nisaba

A survey! hooray!

Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in reading for yourself?
that was never really primary for me.

Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in reading for others?
No.

Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in manipulating cards (shuffling, watching, arranging your packs)?
<shocked> Definitely not!

Kissa said:
- Have you lost interest in reading about tarot cards in books or here on the forum?
The forum is fabulous. I went off Tarot books many years ago, when I started having a sneaking suspicion that, sadly, I probably knew at least as much as most of the authors.

Kissa said:
- Have you lost confidence in your ability to read the cards?
No.

Kissa said:
- Have you lost confidence in the whole tarot thing? (for me, tarot is a counseling tool, so if i ever came to think it doesn't help me see more clearly my challenges and my options, i'd throw the collection away... or send the whole bunch to nisaba ;-) )
With special reference to this extended comment: let me just say that as a public service and at the cost of a great sacrifice to me, I'd be prepared to offer my services in that regard. To a few special people. Like you lot.

Kissa said:
--> you had recurrent stupid/totally hermetic/meaningless/bad/inappropriate readings and grew frustrated
<grin> No.

Kissa said:
--> you started to think anew (something happened in your spiritual life) and realized tarot just doesn't work with you for some reason
No.

Kissa said:
--> you started questioning the whole Golden Dawn role in tarot, you did your homework and found out that tarot existed long before GD's mysticism was introduced in it. Questioning GD's role, you questioned their "products", tarot included.
Erm, I think I knew how old Tarot was concurrently or before finding out about the extent of the GD's effect on recent decks. So, no.

Kissa said:
--> you started thinking: "all decks are GD inspired (RWS clones or Thoth clones) so ultimately, once i've had one, i've had them all... what new insights can new decks bring to me??... aren't they just a more and more diluted juice of the same source?"
Nice thought. If ever I need de-enabling off the whole lifestyle, I'll return to that one.

Gosh, looking at my answers to the survey questions, I don't think I am going through a Tarot Crisis.
 

Kissa

LOL nisaba :) btw you could have asked, many would have been able to say you are NOT going through a tarot crisis.

Ehemm *clearing throat* no people, my diagnosis about .traveller (thanks for taking the time to answer the doc's questionaire LOL), is the following: Trust Time... as it will do whatever it is time does.
Heal, clear things up, help you forget or reconnect...

I mean, ignore nisaba's offer to sacrifice herself and adopt your collection. Maybe you could put the decks in a big cardboard box and tape it... It is a good way to know how long it stays sealed (been there, done that). I think many here regret getting rid of their stuff at some time when they thought they were done. Look at me now, running after a Tarot of the Old Path with silver accents (though I could... and WILL pimp my regular edition...).

Please let us know how this whole syndrome evolves. And sorry for being such a lousy doc... I really would like to help somehow but maybe I am not the most reliable one in the lot since I usually experience a major life crisis per week and go through all kind of other major dramazz the rest of the time... LOL

Blessings

The DRamaZz Queen