Fear

Always Wondering

It's comming up to August, and my yearly bout of full blown anxiety. It does get in the way of every aspect of will/Will, not to mention my love for a good cup of coffee. :(

I was kind of hoping for a break this year, due to some changes I've made recently, but I already feel it edging up, seems like it's stronger than ever. I wasn't very happy about this, but then realized maybe it's time to address it on a different level.

James Eshelman said:
The act of overcoming fear is literally - physiologically, neurologically, psychologically - the act of taking in-turned, inward-looped energy and letting it flow outside of yourself to impact and affect the world.

This seems to bring it all together. I suppose, as some have been hinting ;), that my anxiety is due to unrealized fear. I am just trying to get a handle on Eshelman's quote. It kind of reminds me of some energy work Regardie does with the Middle Pillar.
How does one go about realizing fears the mind/ego is determined to hide from? Any thoughts? Experience?

He goes on to say...
Body work is often very useful. That is, it is easier to make this choice (away from fear and toward action) when the body is relaxed, breathing regular, heat is felt in the hands and feet, hyperacute senses are relaxed, etc. Lots and lots and lots could be said about this - whole books written on it - but I think the principle mentioned is key.

I won't list here all the things I've tried. Let's just say it's almost become a health obsession. What kind of body work do you suppose he is talking about? I make a general habit of excercise, breath control and stretching/yoga. What about all those lots and lots of books? Any reccomendations?

Thanks.
AW
 

Zephyros

This may sound like a trite cliché, but recently I have found that reading passages of the Book of Law before stressful situations helps with this. It doesn't make me calmer, but more along the lines of reminding myself of my own power and importance. Commentaries and other books don't seem to have the same concise punch.

Or I just listen to this :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rOc3qkhQaw

Captain with seven children, what's so fearsome about that...

I lift weights daily, both for shallow reasons and also because it is a great way to quiet my mind, and release aggression. I ride my bicycle everywhere, and try not to think about anything but the dull mechanical motion, and on the views.
 

Always Wondering

Or I just listen to this :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rOc3qkhQaw


Captain with seven children, what's so fearsome about that...

One of my favorite movies growing up. I hadn't paid that much attention to that song though.

I lift weights daily, both for shallow reasons and also because it is a great way to quiet my mind, and release aggression. I ride my bicycle everywhere, and try not to think about anything but the dull mechanical motion, and on the views.

Walking is my mechanical sanity. This spring my daughter moved home and we've been lifting weights together. I've been very surpised by how much it helps my sleep. Lucky to make it more than a couple times a week though. Perhaps I should work on that.

AW
 

ravenest

It's comming up to August, and my yearly bout of full blown anxiety.

Firstly, why August ... memory trigger? Seasonal?

It does get in the way of every aspect of will/Will, not to mention my love for a good cup of coffee. :(

I was kind of hoping for a break this year, due to some changes I've made recently, but I already feel it edging up, seems like it's stronger than ever. I wasn't very happy about this, but then realized maybe it's time to address it on a different level.


This seems to bring it all together. I suppose, as some have been hinting ;), that my anxiety is due to unrealized fear.

Or stress. Anxiety and stress are closely related. Something triggers us 'down in the lower triangle' often related to Mars / Venus : fight / flight, before it is regulated by Mercury there is a reaction, if Mercury doesn't seize and regulate the action to conscious resolve in the Sun / Moon consciousness it 'cycles around' by itself. The self feels a need to react one way or the other; both fight and flight can require a great amount of unusual energy (for the modern person ... compared to the normal daily life) ... this is accomplished by the release of adrenalin. If adrenalin isn't used up / burnt off it causes problems in the body, turning to other substances and holding one in a state of urgently needing to do ... something but not doing it, which leads to stress and anxietly.

That's why burning it off can be so helpful ( lifting weights, walking and better, IMO, running {flight} and martial arts training {fight} )


I am just trying to get a handle on Eshelman's quote. It kind of reminds me of some energy work Regardie does with the Middle Pillar.
How does one go about realizing fears the mind/ego is determined to hide from? Any thoughts? Experience?

Regardie did brilliant work IMO in this field ... although little is published (I believe he went underground with his psycho-magical therapy after the fiasco with Wilhelm Reich in the USA ; book burnings, imprisonment and death in prison). Reich was one of, if not the first, modern 'body workers' He noticed, during psychotherapy that patients often unconsciously had a psychological block or problem associated with a part of the physical body, in tension, spasm or some other problem ... by working on that physical problem it brings the psychological issue to the surface where it can be dealt with.

So the therapist must virtually have full psychiatric knowledge as well as an equivalent to osteopathic / chiropractic / massage ... and perhaps acupuncture training ... this is backed up by 'magical' exercises and visualisations to strengthen the psychological body.

These are hard issues to work through alone ... one needs a good trained and competent therapist ... or at least an 'honest friend' ;)

He goes on to say...

I won't list here all the things I've tried. Let's just say it's almost become a health obsession. What kind of body work do you suppose he is talking about? I make a general habit of excercise, breath control and stretching/yoga. What about all those lots and lots of books? Any reccomendations?

Thanks.
AW

Yes all that is good but some times we need someone else to shine a bright light into the depths and prod, poke, massage and release our tensions and energy flows.

Reich tied it all in with sexual energy and potent orgasm ... his theory (on the above ... before he started blasting UFO's with 'Orgone cannons' :( ) seems to state that a strong potent orgasm and the resultant 'uncontrolled' motions, effects and contortions, etc. actually released these physical knots in the energy systems of the body and allowed the psyche to heal.

" He opened six free sex-counselling clinics in Vienna, each one overseen by a physician, with three obstetricians and a lawyer on call, offering what he called Sex-Pol counselling for working-class patients. Sex-Pol stood for the German Society of Proletarian Sexual Politics. Danto writes that Reich offered a mixture of "psychoanalytic counseling, Marxist advice and contraceptives," and argued for a sexual permissiveness, including for young people and the unmarried, that unsettled other psychoanalysts and the political left. The clinics were immediately overcrowded by people seeking help.[30] He also took to the streets in a mobile clinic, driving to local parks and out to the suburbs with other psychoanalysts and physicians." - Wiki

Also ; http://auroradorada.com/en/regardie.htm
 

Aeon418

Always Wondering said:
I won't list here all the things I've tried. Let's just say it's almost become a health obsession. What kind of body work do you suppose he is talking about? I make a general habit of excercise, breath control and stretching/yoga. What about all those lots and lots of books? Any reccomendations?

A large component of fear and anxiety is physical and bio-chemical. Body work, breathing exercises, physical exercise, etc., can help to alleviate the symptoms but it doesn't address any underlying psychological issues. While you can release tensions and burn off unwanted chemicals through your own efforts, you ideally need the help of a 'sympathetic' therapist to help you identify and tackle the root of the problem.

I say 'sympathetic' because if you decide to go down that route, you don't really want a therapist who's first reaction is to reach for his prescription pad. Maybe a combination of talking and physical therapy would be best.

In a way it's bit like being in a boat with a hole in the hull, and you don't know where the hole is! You can work with various coping strategies that help you to bail out the water and keep your boat afloat, but really it's only a stop-gap solution until the hole is plugged.

Regardie touches on this from a different angle in, The Eye in the Triangle (p.431-432), where he makes it clear that 'self-medicating' with mystical practices is not a solution.
Israel Regardie said:
Therefore it is my contention that neurotic problems must be dealt with on their own plane. Ecstacy and mystical experience do not dissolve them or eradicate them per se. Throughout the past three decades I have met people of authority in the metaphysical and occult movements of every kind. It once perplexed me that despite their illumination, genuine though it may have been, their psychoneurotic manifestations would be glaring. One man I knew, for whose spiritual attainment I still have great admiration, had bacteriophobia to a degree where he would almost avoid touching doorknobs until having polished them with his handkerchief. Another had a hypertrophied ego of gigantic proportions which was only a psychic compensation for his emotional insecurity and inferiority which Samadhi has not cured. Still another was characterized by rudeness and irrascibility in his everyday relations with his fellows. Another abused alcohol so that when dead drunk he was incontinent and micturated involuntarily. Others I have known were addicted to over-eating and became obese. Even Ramakrishna's intimacy with Mother Kali did not remove his several neurotic symptoms. It is as if these neurotic symptoms continued to exist unaltered, side by side with the illuminated spirit. But surely this is an indication that there is no integration, no fusing together of discrete elements, no essential wholeness.

It is just this wholeness that psychotherapy is intended to effect. Mysticism is not psychotherapy. There must be no confusion of the two. But it does seem to me that psychotherapy makes for excellent preparation of the personality so when illumination does eventually occur, there will be fewer distortions of the divine Light.
 

Always Wondering

Firstly, why August ... memory trigger? Seasonal?

It was suggested by one psychiatrist it was a memory trigger from getting lost in Disneyland when I was four. That sort of makes sense. But I can't imagine I still hold on to that after all these years.


Or stress. Anxiety and stress are closely related. Something triggers us 'down in the lower triangle' often related to Mars / Venus : fight / flight, before it is regulated by Mercury there is a reaction, if Mercury doesn't seize and regulate the action to conscious resolve in the Sun / Moon consciousness it 'cycles around' by itself. The self feels a need to react one way or the other; both fight and flight can require a great amount of unusual energy (for the modern person ... compared to the normal daily life) ... this is accomplished by the release of adrenalin. If adrenalin isn't used up / burnt off it causes problems in the body, turning to other substances and holding one in a state of urgently needing to do ... something but not doing it, which leads to stress and anxietly.

I am sure the heat doesn't help. I know it stresses my body. And I happen to live in one of the hotter climates in the west.

That's why burning it off can be so helpful ( lifting weights, walking and better, IMO, running {flight} and martial arts training {fight} )

Actually, I haven't tried fighting. Hmmm. Thanks.

Regardie did brilliant work IMO in this field ... although little is published (I believe he went underground with his psycho-magical therapy after the fiasco with Wilhelm Reich in the USA ; book burnings, imprisonment and death in prison). Reich was one of, if not the first, modern 'body workers' He noticed, during psychotherapy that patients often unconsciously had a psychological block or problem associated with a part of the physical body, in tension, spasm or some other problem ... by working on that physical problem it brings the psychological issue to the surface where it can be dealt with.

I've found most of what I think is available. I like his work.

So the therapist must virtually have full psychiatric knowledge as well as an equivalent to osteopathic / chiropractic / massage ... and perhaps acupuncture training ... this is backed up by 'magical' exercises and visualisations to strengthen the psychological body.

These are hard issues to work through alone ... one needs a good trained and competent therapist ... or at least an 'honest friend' ;)

I've had a couple of bad theripists and one very good one that I worked with for quite a while. Also two or three different psychiatrists. One good chiropractor. But never all in one. If anything like that exists in America, it must be rare.

Reich tied it all in with sexual energy and potent orgasm ... his theory (on the above ... before he started blasting UFO's with 'Orgone cannons' :( ) seems to state that a strong potent orgasm and the resultant 'uncontrolled' motions, effects and contortions, etc. actually released these physical knots in the energy systems of the body and allowed the psyche to heal.
Sounds worth a try. :grin: Since you twisted my arm. :laugh:

" He opened six free sex-counselling clinics in Vienna, each one overseen by a physician, with three obstetricians and a lawyer on call, offering what he called Sex-Pol counselling for working-class patients. Sex-Pol stood for the German Society of Proletarian Sexual Politics. Danto writes that Reich offered a mixture of "psychoanalytic counseling, Marxist advice and contraceptives," and argued for a sexual permissiveness, including for young people and the unmarried, that unsettled other psychoanalysts and the political left. The clinics were immediately overcrowded by people seeking help.[30] He also took to the streets in a mobile clinic, driving to local parks and out to the suburbs with other psychoanalysts and physicians." - Wiki
For sure there is nothing like that in my neck of the woods.


Hadn't seen that yet. Maybe I should do some more digging.

Thanks, Ravenest.

AW
 

Always Wondering

A large component of fear and anxiety is physical and bio-chemical. Body work, breathing exercises, physical exercise, etc., can help to alleviate the symptoms but it doesn't address any underlying psychological issues. While you can release tensions and burn off unwanted chemicals through your own efforts, you ideally need the help of a 'sympathetic' therapist to help you identify and tackle the root of the problem.

I say 'sympathetic' because if you decide to go down that route, you don't really want a therapist who's first reaction is to reach for his prescription pad. Maybe a combination of talking and physical therapy would be best.
Yep, that's the issue. That's why I quit theripists and psychiatrists years ago. But here I am back on meds anyway. It got me through a rough patch, but I'm itching to get off them now.

In a way it's bit like being in a boat with a hole in the hull, and you don't know where the hole is! You can work with various coping strategies that help you to bail out the water and keep your boat afloat, but really it's only a stop-gap solution until the hole is plugged.

Yes. Yes. That's exactally what I feel like I've been through.

Regardie touches on this from a different angle in, The Eye in the Triangle (p.431-432), where he makes it clear that 'self-medicating' with mystical practices is not a solution.

I got about half way through The Eye in the Triangle. I will have to pick it up again.

So, yuck guys. Therapy again? :( I'm feeling a little resistant. Guess that's my ego.
Thanks for not pulling any punches. But yuck. :laugh:

AW
 

Aeon418

So, yuck guys. Therapy again? :( I'm feeling a little resistant. Guess that's my ego.
It was just a suggestion. If it doesn't appeal, don't do it. But I figured that with you being in the USA you would have a lot more choice of therapists and therapy types to choose from. From what I've heard it's easier to 'shop around' over there.
 

Zephyros

What if the problem really is insurmountable, and there isn't anything to do about it? Sometimes life just sucks, and spiritual platitudes don't do any good, except making it suck even more. Sometimes no amount of therapy and medication helps. Sometimes there is no remedy for crappy situations, and you have to accept losing. How long does it last? Can you accept being out of commission for a month a year? Can you go away to someplace less stressful, maybe cool mountains? Shorter hours? Sick days?

I'm not saying give up, but work with what you have. I'm reminded of an Aesop fable of the reeds and the oak tree, where the tree floats down the river torn out of the ground after a storm. The tree asks the reeds how flimsy things like them survived, when the strong oak didn't. They answer something about bending to the wind, allowing it to pass, not trying to fight the inevitable.
 

Aeon418

Pachad

In an attempt to give this thread some sort of relevance to Tarot I thought I might post a little snipit from Jim Eshelman's commentary on Liber 66 Stellae Rubeae verses 57-59. It may be of some use, it may not.

Pachad (Fear) is the lowest of the three expressions of the Martial fifth sephira. (The other two being Geburah and Din.) Will, as it manifests in the individual, is also a function of the fifth sephira. That basically means that Will and Fear are the same energy. But Will needs to flow. If it meets with resistance or blockages in the personality it may manifest as Pachad - Fear.

Jim Eshelman said:
The Hebrew word for fear is pachad PhChD. In this word, we encounter, first, the Mars force - Peh . Atu XVI, The Tower, shows the destruction of the transitory which has held too dearly to its isolated existence. The Neophyte 1°=10° of the A:.A:. learns in her initiation that the substance of fear is a pure flame, an energy which is hers to use as she will if she only "know and pass by" her present restriction.
Peh and Cheth both indicate the overthrow of the illusion of individual will. In fact, Cheth, the surrender symbolized by devotion to the Holy Grail, instructs us that there is no such thing as individual (personality) will, that all Will manifests through each of us as its vehicles.
And the innermost meaning of fear is Daleth, Venus, love. Even at the mundane level, love is often the mistaken motivation of such attachment. All fear is fear of loss, motivated by the illusion of separateness. But Daleth also makes known that at the end of fear is love, or Union with Nuit.

Using the above commentary on the word, Pachad, it might be a useful exercise to spell it out with your Thoth Tarot cards. Atu's XVI - VII - & III - The Tower, The Chariot, and The Empress - and use this as a basis for meditation and reflection.