how do you handle a negative reading?

Jenny-Li

MattDouglas said:
Jenny,
Actually I did tell them that it would be helpful for them to find people to talk to about it. /.../ I let her know she could talk to me about it if she felt I could help.

/.../
I'm sorry for posting only brief parts of what happened which could have been misleading. When I read for people I do it when I have the time to explain everything. I was just responding quickly earlier, and was on a break from work and only had limited time. I can see why people could again be shocked at my post. Hope this clarifies some things.

I trust you do, Matt - but there's a lot of readers out there who don't though, I was referring to them, not you. (I quoted your post and made it an example because it got me thinking along this line, that's all!) I think most of us here have a very serious and responsible approach, but as long as there are people out there who don't, I think it's important to talk about these things, lay them out before us and have a good look at them! :)

Now, I know you offered to be there for this particular person, so this is again not aimed at you, but your post got me thinking some more: There's a lot of people out there who don't really have anyone they trust enough to talk to about the really hard things. This is what I mean with the reader's responsibility, and not dropping the bomb in the querent's lap and leaving it there. This is where I'd say it would get tough being a professional reader, maybe it's easy for me to be idealistic, since I only to a few readings on my spare time...? What do the rest of you think?

Light and love,
Jenny :)
 

MeeWah

This is an important topic in that as readers, we have an intrinsic responsibility that goes beyond any reading sought, aside from the responsibility of being truthful. The impact of a reading creates ripple effects that may reverberate long after a session is concluded. It seems the general view understands this.
The idea is to empower the querent with the encouragement or the means to address whatever is lurking in the background of the past, or looming as a shadow in the present/future. This is a delicate balance as at times, even the apparently intelligent &/or well-adjusted can react less receptively.
I try to approach each reading based on impressions of the querent. Some people are more open to a broad view; others are not, may be iinterested in "entertainment" though that does not exclude the factor of "negative" information to be dealt with.
What Alex mentions is a very significant point. Some tend to reinforce negativity just by their particular mind-set & the cards will express that. There is little or nothing a reader can do about that as it is up to the individual to change.
In cases where I see a traumatic experience or a negative stance, I refer to it in general terms; suggest counselling, communication with a trusted individual, or contacting the appropriate agency. A reading may assist in clarification or offer insight, but it is not a panacea for whatever may ail one. There are no instant solutions or fixer-uppers & slapping a bandage on a potentially sensitive matter is a disservice to the client as well as to the reader. Sometimes the mere fact that a person is looking for a reading indicates some type of awareness, so how I continue depends on the responses.
I may draw extra cards as Diana mentions; or do a smaller throw to follow up on the main throw.
 

starcrow

I just wanted to say that I keep a list of 1-800 numbers to refer someone to, if it is something that really cannot be answered for a reading, or if somone needs more help then I can possibly give them. Kind Regards, Starcrow
 

Ivy Rhiannon

um..i had a difficult reading the other day. My mom reads the gong hee fot choy (I've said this a zillion times, lol) but doesnt understand the tarot, and unfortunatly looks questionably on them. She hated them before I started reading!

Anyway she's been real sick lately, and the doctors told her there was nothing they could do for her. Now I saw her getting better in a reading I did with her, but she has to take care of her self! Something she really hasnt done the past 50 years. So I saw the star card reversed. It was talking about her arts and crafts, so I told her, that it proboly wouldnt come through or that she wouldnt get her wish. She started crying!!! I asked her what was wrong and she said she asked if she live to the end of the year!!!

I was devistated! She got upset and said everytime you give me a reading its doom and gloom...(and its not)

so much for turning skeptics into believers...
 

Moonbow

It sounds like you didn't know her question Ivy?

I always think that if you ask Tarot a vague question - you will get a vague answer. If you mum was thinking of one aspect and you were thinking of something entirely different the cards just didn't stand a chance.

On the other hand if it was defined at the outset that there would be no question asked then you have to say what you think the reading is about - whatever your mum was thinking about won't come into it.

Has this been any help
 

Ivy Rhiannon

Moonbow* said:
It sounds like you didn't know her question Ivy?

I always think that if you ask Tarot a vague question - you will get a vague answer. If you mum was thinking of one aspect and you were thinking of something entirely different the cards just didn't stand a chance.

your right moonbow, i let the client keep the question to themselves, but it was showing her arts n crafts. I was reading for that. just in gong hee fot choy you have a wish card, so after asking she made a wish. it confused me. I should have known. She just didnt even give me a chance to explain...maybe the menopause isnt helping, lol.

ty for your post. I just dont think i can help her to understand that tarot is blunt. it told her if she didnt take care of herself, she would die.

She's an aries/horse going through menopause...try explaining anything to her!!! lol I'm starting to think i never had a chance!
 

Dexter

It's very hard for me to not be honest when reading in person for other people. I have a very expressive face. Been told my whole life that I cannot lie because my face tells everything. So with tarot it is the same. I did a reading for a lady last week and she said she knew by looking at my face whether something was good or bad. I am also very animated when I read. We really laughed over a card that turned up regarding relationship issues. It was a good way to end the reading because we had gone through a lot of negative issues for her. So for me it is not a question of whether or not to deal with both negative and positive in a reading, my face and the cards that turn up give me no choice.
 

NightQueen

what ever the cards say good or bad i tell the querent i feel i have to even though sometimes its really hard for me to do so