How do you do a reading if you don't know the Querent

gregory said:

My question would be more:

How do you do a reading if you know the querent ?

I avoid that like the plague.

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I find that there are two ways to look at it. If you and the querent both know something about the subject of the reading, the picture may come into focus that much more quickly. I've been reading successfully for my wife for 35 years. However, I never ask her in advance what question she's posing, so I start just as "cold" as if I didn't know her and then rapidly pick up the thread as we go along. With someone I don't know, the reading stays more-or-less objective all the way through and I only need to know enough to move the "story" along without too many detours.

And if you see something that you were aware of IRL and you have a view about it, it is hard to disentangle that from what you ACTUALLY see...

You (generic) read on your 14 y/o daughter who has just told you she is pregnant. You do not believe in abortion. She has already said she wants one. To a dispassionate reader, the cards would seem to say she would be wise.

But it goes against everything you believe in... so what you may see in the cards...

Heck - you see it happen here all the time when - for instance - someone posts that they are having an affair with a married man - it's amazing how the same people always see the cards as saying they are wrong and immoral, and he will never leave his wife. Even when - very occasionally - the message would seem to be that this is the right thing for both of them. How much more when it is someone you know and care about ?

gregory said:

And if you see something that you were aware of IRL and you have a view about it, it is hard to disentangle that from what you ACTUALLY see...

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I'm something of a cynic (maybe even a fatalist) about human nature, so I've never had much trouble detaching myself from the emotional side of reading. In my experience, the cards are telling the story more-or-less directly, regardless of what "spin" we may want to put on them to satisfy our own conscience. (But if our 28-year-old daughter says she's pregnant, my wife would probably cheer . . .)

I know it's hard and it takes practice...

Get the ME out of the readings....

There's been a few times that I've packed up the cards and said ... Sorry can't do....too much noise in this head to read for YOU....

Try reading out loud to someone when your minds all worried about how your doing and how they're judging your efforts and concentrating on the flow and punctuations and your own stance as well as your nervousness...BLARRH...

That's what I mean when I say the ME gets in the way...

Lunar7 said:

Hi everyone,

i have only done one reading which was my own (Celtic cross) and i think i did ok with it but only because i had personal knowledge of my situation and history. But if you have someone you don't know very well who asks for a reading, other than the question and some very basic info, how can you do an accurate reading?

for example, in my reading, i was able to identify that one of the cards represented my other half who was identified primarily due to the card being the card that correlated with his zodiac sign. Had the reading been for someone else, i would not have known that so would have assumed that all the cards were representing the Querent's past, present future etc.

Thanks
Lunar7

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Something that really helped me was doing daily draws and short readings for myself, and finding associations between cards and events, people, concepts and energies swirling about my own life. By making associations between the cards and my life, I was unknowingly building my own personal tarot dictionary. Once I had set up my own lexicon, I was able to free myself from a lot of the stock meanings and the clutter that comes from listening to this or that "expert." I pretty much stopped asking for others' interpretations of my own readings and started to become more comfortable reading for strangers this way, by learning to trust myself.

You certainly don't have to read for others if you have no inclination to, but if you do, hang in there! It gets easier.

Great advice

Thanks everyone. I'll continue practising. A few of you have mentioned that it's more difficult to do a reading for someone you know and i think, with my limited practice, that i now agree. I've been doing a few readings recently and when it has been someone close to me, i think i interpret the cards the way that i would like it to read but on subsequent research, i find that actually, it could be a completely different meaning. Working out which interpretation it is thereafter is an even bigger nightmare! Oh well, as they say, practice makes perfect...

Lunar7 said:

I find reading the 'whole' story and linking all the cards to eachother and understanding how their positioning affects the interpretation of each card a little difficult

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That's just practice. Keep it up.

I'll try a three card spread soon and keep you posted. I'll have to find a stranger or someone I don't know so well - that might take some convincing!

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There are plenty of them in the exchange circles here!

I find it easiest when I DON'T know a querent. I do like some general question. I do one question, one card in tarot (with other cards pulled if the querent needs clarity or has another question, but always put the first card back) and with Lenormand, three cards. For ME, less is more and NOT knowing the querent, or much about them, is usually a plus.

I like it better if I do not know the person. There is no fight between logic and intuition as there is when you know the person. For me it is just pure intuition with a stranger. I generally start out with a celtic cross for an overall view and do not ask the stranger questions....as it looks fake if you do. Then after the reading I ask the person is they would like to ask any questions that were not addressed in the reading. Most of the time it was covered. Don't be afraid to read for strangers I like it much better...unfortunately the strangers become regular clients and you get to know them!

I find it easier to read for strangers.

I just pass on what I see, without any inclination to make it "make sense" or apply to some situation I know is in their life. None of my own bias can creep in.

I have also found the readings I have received from reader who do not know me, and to whom I have given very little information have been the most helpful and accurate. No "spin".

I've had readings where the reader was like "this makes no sense to me...and I can't see how they are connected but maybe it will mean something to you..." and sure enough it has.