Chart Feedback
Thanks esp to Dave, Minderwiz, and ncefafn (loving the name btw)
I will use this post to give you ideas about the person behind the chart, i am also working and trying to catch up on the past few days , so i will do it peicemeal, and keep editing it until its finished. if you wish me to expand anything let me know as there is alot in this thread and i might miss something.
Employment history
James went to rather posh boarding school as a child as his parents travelled the world due to his fathers job. He then went to University and managed to scrape a pass, but only a 3rd in languages as he failed to apply himself. He then went into the army as this had run in the family (skipping his father) as he is patriotic, and adores his grandfather. He was a surveillance officer in the TA (although he will lead you to beleive its the full army), he enjoyed surveillance, this allowed him to feel he was fighting for his country, but doing something he was good at. after he left he floundered for a bit and did a few different things including sales, after a few years he found a suitable job with a government criminal investigation agency as a covert investigator, the agency is also a secretive agency, its not really on the radar.
He has a very moral outlook when it comes to his job, he is patriotic, and he is very good at dealing with all types of people. he likes this job because it allows him to feel like he is saving the world and is a good guy, whilst being involved in slighty dubious activities...but its all in the name of the government.
Although he is morally upright in his work life, he will often use this as deception to allow him to carry out things in his private life (like cheating)
relationship with Parents
never mentions father, adores his grandfather though and sees him as his role model more this his father, he does distance himself a bit from his fathers characteristics. However saying that he is rather more like his father then he would like, and a bit less like his grandfather which disappoints him. Doesnt beleive his mother loved him, or loves him, felt abandoned at boarding school and blames her for leaving him. Looks for mothering from partners to replace what he feels is missing.
Relationships
Has been married multiple times, and breaks up for the same reason all of his relationships break up, reality of the person doesnt live up to their ideal....he thinks every woman is 'the one', and start planning a woman in his head when he doesnt really know her, then he finds out she is a normal person he cheats to find another 'the one'. He is an overlapper, and always thinks someone else is really to blame and he is the innocent partner, however often picks woman that wont live up to his ideal...self sobataging.
he is attracted to women that are independant, ambitious, and are kind to animals and children....oh and who he feels are purer then him. however the scorpio in him gets the better of him, and if they cant be converted he moves on whilst still being in love with the original woman , hopes to change her.
Money
is not good with money, however is lucky enough to have his mother bail him out, which he thinks he is due because she doesnt love him! He takes risks with money and often its a rollercoaster being up and down, he doesnt save for rainy days.he spent a fortune of clothes and cars when he was making alot of money, however now he still earns an okay wage he is hand to mouth,and doesnt really know how to budget. he has been rescued by the women in his life, mainly his wives who are often higher earners then him, however the divorce costs him dearly. He loses money also in child support
identity
struggles to remember who he actually is, often projects who he would like to be, one of his fave sayings is "this is the type of woman i should have for when i become what i want", hence he goes for woman that in his fantasy life he is. his job doesnt help his identity as he spends all the time being someone else, when he stops working he doesnt always remember who he is.
Groups
needs to belong to a group he stands out in, he likes his army mates but doesnt feel as successful as them, so he latches on to other foreign groups to allow him to feel like he belongs and he is special. he joins the group thats outside his ethnic group so he can stand out, he learns everything about the culture so he can fit in but still stand out...because he cant in his other groups.
Emotions
he can use emotions to manipulate people, he shows part of his emotions (he crys at sad movies, and seeing children hurt on TV), however he supresses other heavier emotions unless you are very close to him. although he is aggressive in his job and his persuit of women, he cant deal with emotional conflict, classic passive aggressive. He will apologise for anything to resolve conflict, especially face to face conflict.
he doesnt like being by himself, he needs company, if its not physical it will be on the phone or online...doesnt have hobbies
all in all he is a walking conflict, he is completely moral and upright in his job, and completely amoral in his private life, manages to balance both together, whilst blaming others for his predicament.
Saying this, he is a charmer, he can contridict himself within the same conversation and not realise it. He still fails to see his financial situation, and will often shower a woman with gifts and meals until she is won over, even though he cant afford it. there is and always will be something endearing about the guy, he does the wounded soldier well.
i think once he reconciles he personality with all sides of him he will eventually be happy, however stepping out the fantasy will take time as it seems to affect every part of his life.He is a very good friend, but you wouldnt date him!